


Flesh and Bone

by MrsStuffNThangs



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-26 04:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 39
Words: 96,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7561006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsStuffNThangs/pseuds/MrsStuffNThangs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>NOW COMPLETE! Suffering from WD withdrawals? Same characters, different story! After the prison is destroyed, Michonne, Rick and Carl go down a much different path than the one we've seen...unfamiliar, but just as terrifying. Intense, fast paced love story with horror, drama and action. I don't own the Walking Dead or its characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

It had been eight or nine days since the prison was destroyed, she couldn't remember exactly. The days immediately after it happened, put her in a fog. She remembered the flames, the corpses, the gunfire, but more than anything, she remembered Hershel. She remembered thinking that it was going to be alright. Even when she was tied up and on her knees, with dozens of guns and cold-blooded intentions behind her, she thought she would be able to get Hershel and herself out of the dangerous position they were in. Her instincts told her they could fight their way free and they were almost always spot-on. That time, Michonne's instincts were wrong.

So many of Michonne's memories haunted her these days. She replayed them in her mind over and over. It was easy to do when distractions were infrequent. During waking hours she could often push the thoughts away for long stretches but at night in her sleep, she lost complete control and her subconscious overtook her in the most terrifying ways. 

Michonne had an assortment of different and horrifying nightmares that shuffled through her mind as she slept. In this particular nightmare, she was the one butchering Hershel while the Governor and his followers cheered her on. She drove her sword through his eye sockets, then through his chest before finally decapitating him. 

Rick watched Michonne as she stirred in her sleep. He tried, for an instant, to convince himself that she was just cold or that the ground was hard. Of course that was true but he knew she was stirring from a nightmare. As he lay awake keeping watch, his bright blue eyes looked at her with empathy. Michonne was not the type of woman people felt sorry for. She was strong. She was fearless. She was even optimistic, if that was possible these days. Despite all that, Rick felt bad for her. She hadn't slept well in days. Not more than two or three hours a night. When she did manage to fall into a deep enough sleep, Rick knew that she was tortured with the nightmares. 

Michonne continued to toss and turn as Rick debated with himself whether to awaken her or not. Should he let her get the sleep her body desperately needed, despite her obvious distress or wake her up and reassure her that whatever terror was seizing her, wasn't real? Rick felt like he was between a rock and a hard place but that was par for the course for the last two years.

Rick couldn't bear her agony any longer. He reached his hand out towards her and gently placed it on her shoulder. He leaned in, inches from her face”Michonne,” he whispered calmly,”Michonne, wake up.” He rocked her shoulder back and forth when Michonne suddenly sat straight up. She reached for her sword with a look on her face that said she was immediately ready for combat.”Hey, hey...it's okay, there's nothing wrong. We're safe,” He quietly reassured her,”you were just having a nightmare.” Michonne's body relaxed and the tension fell away from her body.”Are you okay?” Rick asked with concern.

“I'm fine,”she said in her stoic, dead-pan voice. Rick hadn't known Michonne for very long, only a year in fact, but he did know her better than he knew most of his friends before the end of the world. He knew that she was the opposite of fine. He also knew better than to prod her or try to convince her of her emotions, no matter how obvious they were.”I'll take watch,”she said as she quickly stood up. She was alert, as if she had had a full nights sleep but Rick wanted her to rest longer.

“You only slept an hour or two. Why don't you try to go back to sleep?”

“I can't. I don't want to.” she said with determination. Rick knew it was no use arguing with an obstinate woman like Michonne so he lied down on the bedroll they took turns using. He looked over at Carl to make sure he was safe. He pulled a tattered, foul-smelling blanket over his body.

Rick's mind drifted to an August in his rookie year as a King County Sheriff's Deputy, walking into a garage where he found two bodies. He and his partner Shane came on to the scene of a murder/suicide. A married couple in their late thirties badly decomposed after 11 days in the stuffy, hot garage. He distinctly remembered the putrid smell of rot and decay. It's what the blanket smelled like. It's what everything smelled like. Rick closed his eyes and quickly went to sleep.


	2. Passing

The hungry and exhausted trio walked down the railroad tracks at an accelerated yet comfortable pace. The mood had changed from the night before. Despite the roadblocks they faced on the unending obstacle course of the apocalypse, laughter found it's way into the brisk air.

“Alright,” Carl said,”would you rather be really hairy all over your body and not be able to shave or...not have one hair anywhere?”

“Where do you come up with this Carl?” Rick said with an uncomfortable smile on his face.

“Come on dad. My friends and I used to place this all the time.”

“Yeah, come on dad,”Michonne echoed,”It's a perfectly legit question,” Michonne cartoonishly scrunched her lips together and rubbed her chin with her forefinger and thumb.”I guess I'd rather have no hair.”

“Really?!”Carl exclaimed.

“Hey it makes it harder for the dead ones to grab you,”

“But your hair is so...” Rick paused self consciously.

“So what?” Michonne looked at him with a sly grin that showed her full lips and sparkling teeth.

Rick felt off-guard,”Nothing. We should pick up the pace. We need to find something to eat, or hunt.”

“I hope we can find a rabbit instead of more squirrels,” Carl moaned,”Eating squirrels always give me a stomach ache.”

“I would settle for worms, I'm so hungry,” Michonne asserted.

“Hopefully it won't come to that.” Rick reassured.

“Okay,” Michonne looked at Carl,”would you rather always have to say everything on your mind or never be able to speak again?”

“Hmmm,” Carl pondered the question the with the utmost seriousness,”that's hard! I like to talk so I guess I'll pick saying everything that I'm thinking.”

Michonne looked at Carl with a stern look,”You better not say anything I don't like. I can't take your cell phone away but I can still whoop your butt kid!”

“Oh really?” Carl laughed.

“I don't doubt it for a second.” Rick said with a submissive look on his face,”If I'm scared of Michonne, you'd better be too son.”

“The world is full of dead cannibals and worse and you boys are afraid of lil' old me?” Michonne threw her hair over her shoulder and the Grimes men laughed.

The laughter was interrupted by a gunshot. Always vigilant, the smiles immediately dissolved on their faces. Before Rick and Carl had could draw their guns, a Colt Python and a Beretta 92FS, Michonne's katana was already unsheathed. Within seconds the laughing trio had transformed into weapons with weapons. They stealthily walked through the trees and bushes towards the noise. 

They looked with calm horror upon the screaming man and woman, being devoured, by 15 or 20 hungry corpses. Despite their agonizing screams, they could hear the flesh being torn apart. Rick, Michonne and Carl all knew they should run. There was nothing they could do to help, but they couldn't run. There was a sense of obligation to witness the death of these strangers. There was an unspoken duty to watch the final moments as a bizarre act of respect. Until this moment, they hadn't seen another living soul since the fall of the prison walls. They wished their streak of seeing no one had continued. Seeing this abomination was worse than feeling alone in this frightening world. Much worse. 

”Let's go,” Rick said quietly and firmly,”now!” The three hastily turned away from the massacre when six walkers appeared in front of them. They were within just a few feet of them. Michonne, as agile as ever, moved her sword through the air and removed the heads of two of the dead ones. After their heads fell to the ground, she mercifully put her sword through their temples to end their dismal existence. 

Rick slipped his clip point knife into the skull of a the biggest walker he had ever taken down. It was at least 6'4” and close to 270 pounds. He pulled the knife out, turned on his heel and drove it into the head of another. Carl swung his machete and buried it deep within the top of a walker's skull. Again Carl swung his machete towards another dead one, but this time he missed the the skull and only made contact with the corpse's cheek and jaw. He tripped backwards on a log and the walker crumpled on top of him. Without missing a step, Rick rushed over to Carl, pulled the walker off of him and drove his head into a nearby branch”

“You okay?” Rick asked while pulling Carl up in a handshake motion. Carl nodded and the three silently sprinted away from the scene.


	3. Armor

Armor

Dinner that night was squirrel again. They were grateful to have anything in the their bellies, even Carl was grateful for the squirrel. The three of them huddled around the small campfire. The sun had just set and Carl was already drifting off. Carl was the only one that never had trouble sleeping. Rick was grateful for that. He was still a typical teenager. Hungry all the time and tired at the end of the day. Rick was saddened that the exhaustion didn't come from football practice or cramming all night for a test. The exhaustion came from running for his life and the tests were life and death. Rick pushed the useless thoughts aside. Reminiscing about the days gone by was a waste of time. Thinking of how things should be was a luxury none of them let themselves consider for longer than a few moments. 

Rick placed a small log on the fire,“How do you do that?” Rick asked Michonne,”How do you go from cracking jokes with a 15 year old to becoming a ninja before I can even blink?”

“Come on Rick. I've seen you do the same thing.”

“It's not the same.” Rick felt like arguing his point to her this time.”I'm always on duty. But you have this way of being both things to us, to him.”

“What do you mean, both things?” 

Rick explained,”Every second of every day I'm just trying to keep us alive. To always be alert, keep watch, keep us all safe. Sometimes you make us forget that we're in any danger.”

“I don't think that's a good thing,”

“No, it's a good thing, trust me,” Rick poked the embers with a stick. There was something about Michonne that let him know he could be completely honest with her. He could let small pieces of his guard down. Even though he would throw himself between her and any danger, the same way he would for Carl, he didn't always have to keep up the facade that he was brave and unafraid every moment of every day.”I need to remember why I'm fighting so hard. Sometimes...”Rick looked down, looked ashamed,”I want to give up,” Michonne touched Rick's knee. She wanted his full attention. Rick looked up at her.

”Hey, I'm scared too. I feel like giving up at least once a day,”Michonne turned her eyes away from him and onto the crackling fire. She wanted to leave it at that. She wanted to reassure him that he wasn't alone and then get back to her persona of unstoppable strength and resilience, but she couldn't. She too was tired of always feeling like she could never be vulnerable. Feeling like she had to be a warrior with no chinks in her armor,”After the prison,”she began to confess,”I ran away. I knew where you and Carl were but I went the other direction. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to die” she looked over at Carl then turned back to Rick,”You and Carl brought me back to my senses. I knew I needed you both.” Rick was surprised by her confession. Until that moment he thought that it was only Carl and himself that needed her.

“Rick, I want to tell you something else,” Rick stopped poking at the fire and looked at her anxiously waiting to hear what she had to say,”I had a little boy.” Rick was caught off guard,”His name was Andre. He was 3. He got into everything. He watched Sesame Street. I would do this stupid Cookie Monster voice to try and get him to eat. He hated every vegetable in existence but ate 3 bananas every day. He was afraid of the dark and slept with a Winnie the Pooh night light that used to be mine when I was a little girl. I called him Peanut. He was a momma's boy through and through and now he's gone,” tears streamed down her face.

Rick stared at her but said nothing. He didn't want to say the wrong thing. He thought back again to his days as a sheriff's deputy. It was a difficult job but some days were worse than others. More than anything else, he dreaded ringing the doorbell of parents who had just lost a son or daughter in a traffic accident or a drug overdose, and giving them the awful news. Everyone hated that task but with Rick, it took a greater toll. There were many times, especially after dealing with the death of someone very young, that Rick went to the men's room or his squad car and cried. He was sure to never let anyone see his tears, not even Lori and especially not Shane. Crying was unacceptable in this line of work.

In light of current circumstances, it was ironic that Rick didn't deal with death very well. He remembered Maggie walking out of the cell block with his newborn daughter and realizing that Lori had not survived the delivery. He distinctly recalled the feeling of collapsing onto the concrete in the courtyard and sobbing uncontrollably. 

He remembered as a nine-year-old, his parents opening the front door to the deputy who informed the Grimes family that they had found his sister's body. Charlotte was a precocious five-year-old that everyone doted on including Rick. She was free-spirited with unruly, blonde curls and blue eyes. She had wandered off behind their sprawling property, fell into the creek and drowned. Rick always prided himself on watching out for his little sister and he failed her that day. He cried every day for nearly five months after Charlotte died, of course never in front of anyone.

Finally his mind wandered to thoughts of Judith. His precious innocent Judy. Babies were not compatible with the world as it was today but Judy should still be here. He lost sight of the rules of not thinking about how things should be. She should still be here. He should have been there for her. He wasn't. Once again, he had failed. He couldn't bear it any longer and began to cry.

“Rick,”what's wrong?”

“I haven't thought about Judith since it happened. I've been pushing it away. I knew if I thought about her, it'd break me. It's breaking me now...” Rick wept. Michonne took his hand in hers and let him have a few moments to express his grief. A few minutes past when Rick looked at her, his blue eyes now red,”Michonne, I'm sorry about Andre. I'm so sorry you don't have your little boy with you anymore. And I'm sorry for doing this. You trusted me with his memory and then I turned it into something about me.”

“Don't do that Rick...you and Carl just lost Judy. Your wounds are fresh. I've had some time to deal with the pain,” she looked down,”The pain doesn't go away, you just make room for it.”

In that moment, Rick had never been more grateful to have someone near him. He could not think of a friend who understood him better and knew exactly what to say in every situation. He wasn't just grateful to have someone; he was grateful to have Michonne. He looked at her hand in his and held it tightly,”Maybe she found him,”Michonne met his gaze,”Maybe Judy found Andre and they're happy somewhere.”

The smallest smile made it's way to her face,”I bet you're right.”


	4. Taking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: RAPE IS A THEME IN THIS CHAPTER. This story is overall rated T but I'm going to give this chapter an M rating.

Taking

Rick pulled a map of Georgia out of his pack and studied it,”Waycross is only about 20 miles away from here. My brother and his family are there,” Rick sighed,”or at least they were there...anyhow, if we keep along Kettle Creek, we should be there by tomorrow. If we don't find them, we can at least find food and gather some supplies. Who knows, maybe we could even find a car.”

“Yes!!!” Carl nearly shouted.”A car!” Carl ran up ahead of his dad and turned around, talking to him as he walked backwards,”Dad can we get something cool like a muscle car or a sports car or anything better than the minivans and stupid, ugly cars we've been driving?”

“Carl the priority is going to be a running car,” Rick said.

“Dad, one of the only good things about the world ending is taking anything you want. There is no one to tell us we can't have whatever car we want. We can just take it!”

”Tell you what,” Rick replied,”if things look safe and we have time, we'll look for an upgrade.”

“Keep in mind,”Michonne chimed in,”at this point roller skates would be an upgrade.” Carl laughed loudly,”What's so funny?” Michonne asked him.

“I just pictured the three of us roller skating away from a heard of walkers,” Carl answered. Michonne shook her head smiling and tried not to laugh,”I know, it's stupid.”

”Carl, do you even know how to drive?” Michonne asked.

“Kind of. Glenn let me drive his pick up around the prison a couple times.”

“We're gonna teach you to drive a stick,” Rick proclaimed,”a lot of the newer automatics have computers in them and ain't gonna work.”

“Well you're going to have to teach me too,” Michonne said as Rick gave her another look of surprise.”What? I'm a little younger than you and my daddy bought me a BMW for my college graduation,” Rick laughed as Carl playfully kicked a rock down the street. It was interesting to Michonne that in the light of day they could laugh, play games and have these ridiculous conversations. Night time was different. The dark brought menace, uncertainty and sadness. She was glad for the shining sun.

…..

Tonight would be different. It was going to be a good night. They hit the jackpot with the cottage they found nestled in the woods about half a mile from the creek. The home was clean, well appointed, with a stocked pantry, propane stove and a pump 30 feet from the back porch. It was like Christmas morning.

Carl found an unopened box of cherry Pop Tarts in the pantry and not the generic ones his mom used to buy. He immediately ripped the silver wrapper off and crammed one in his mouth. Rick was pleased to find clean shirts, a six pack of India Pale Ale and 2 boxes of ammunition. 

But no one was happier than Michonne,”I am going to take a long, hot bath and I'm going to wash my hair and wash my clothes.” Rick couldn't help but notice the exuberant sound in her voice. The breezy, girlish nature he detected was one he had never noticed before in the stouthearted warrior. It made Rick smile.

Michonne grabbed several pots of varying sizes from a cabinet, took them outside and began to fill them with water. She placed them on the stove and lit each one of the burners. As the water boiled they sat around the kitchen table and feasted. They ate hot beef barley soup and pineapple. They ate out of glass bowls with spoons and forks. They drank clean water out of clean glasses,”Can we stay here for a while?” Carl asked hopefully.

“I don't know Carl. There's a lot of windows inside and a lot of trees outside.” Rick replied.

“But it has a well with a pump and it has a fireplace,” Carl pleaded his case,”it doesn't smell like rotten meat.”

“We'll see Carl,” Rick answered. By the time they were clearing the table, the water had finished boiling. Rick helped Michonne carry the heavy pots into the bathroom. They simultaneously dumped the four pots of water into the white tub. It was already half full with water straight from the pump to even out the temperature,”Don't drain the water,” Rick instructed her,”I want to take a bath too but I ain't gonna go through all this trouble twice.”

The look of disgust on Michonne's face conveyed to Rick that she did not approve,”Rick, I'm covered in brain goo and blood from head to toe...we'll get you some clean water.”

“Alright, you win. We do have plenty of water for once,” Rick checked the bathroom window to make sure it was locked,”Enjoy your bath, Michonne,” he said as he closed the door behind him. 

As soon as the door closed, she pealed off her filthy clothes and kicked them aside. She dumped half a bottle of Tahitian vanilla body wash into the water and slid in. The warm water on her skin felt glorious. She closed her eyes, let out a sigh and silently thanked God that they had found this place.

…..

Rick began the tedious task of refilling the pots with fresh water and boiling it so he and Carl could get cleaned up too. 

Carl was laying on the rug in the living room playing with a tattered deck of cards. He looked up from his game of solitaire and into the kitchen,“Dad, we really should stay here at least for a little while.”

“It's important that we keep moving, Carl,” Rick answered.

“Why?”Carl argued. In all honesty, Rick didn't have a perfect explanation.”Are we looking for some perfectly safe place because we might not ever find one. Maybe this is good enough. Maybe staying on the road looking for a safe place isn't safe.”

“Carl, you're a smart kid. A lot smarter and stronger than I was when I was 15.”

“Since Judith died, I don't feel strong,” Rick turned around and looked at his son with concern,”I miss her so much,” there was a heavy silence between the father and son when Carl spoke up again,”I should have been watching her. I wanted to be tough and prove to everyone that I could fight the Governor and his guys but I should have been protecting Judy.” A pain struck Rick's heart when he realized that neither of them had uttered Judith's name to the other even once in the last 10 days. It was just too agonizing. Still, Rick felt guilty that he had not talked to Carl about the death of his little sister. He ignored the event the same way he did with Lori's death. He usually felt like he handled things well with his son, but right now, Rick felt like a terrible father.

Rick walked into the living room with intention and sat down near Carl and put his hand on his head,“The way the world is now, you can't do that to yourself,” Rick continued to search for the right words to comfort Carl and release him from the guilt of the circumstances that led him to lose his baby sister,”Everyone we know has lost people, people they loved, people they couldn't protect,” Rick looked away,”I didn't protect her either Carl. Maybe I couldn't protect her. We have to keep moving forward.”

“I know, Dad, it's just hard,”Carl replied. Another silence filled the air. Carl looked up to his dad,“Does moving forward have to mean leaving here?”

“I don't know. We're here for tonight. We'll rest up and eat. I'll talk to Michonne and see what she thinks in the morning.”

Carl was eager to take his mind off of Judy and change the subject,“You like her don't you?”

”What are you talking about?” Rick said, caught off guard.

“I'm not stupid Dad. I can see the way you look at her.”

Rick stood up and walked back into the kitchen. He rechecked the locks on the kitchen window and back door. He started opening all the cabinets and drawers, mindlessly searching through them for anything of value, “Carl, some senseless, sappy romance is not what I need right now. It's not what we need right now,” as Rick heard the words coming out of his mouth, he felt bad. It felt ugly to cheapen his and Michonne's relationship like that, to minimize his feelings for her. With Michonne, things were different. It wasn't about romance. It was about the trust and sacrificial devotion they had towards one another. They both put the other one's needs above their own. They put their lives in each other's hands. They were in sync. And then there was Carl. The way Michonne looked at him and talked to him spoke volumes. Not only would she do anything to protect Carl, but she understood him, even in a way Lori never did. 

“Come and help me build a fire.” They both moved towards the stone fireplace and knelt in front of it. Carl reached for the stack of newspapers on the hearth. He picked up a copy of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution from January 21, 2009:

“Six Obama Cabinet Picks Confirmed”

“Hey Dad, where do you think Obama is right now?” Carl asked with a curious smile on his face.  
“I don't know Carl, probably in some underground bunker with his family, surrounded by a dozen secret service,” Rick smiled too,”or, maybe he's on the road eating squirrels like us,” Carl crumpled the front page and several others into balls and tossed them into the fireplace.   
A thundering crash spun the Grimes men around. They looked to see the front door kicked in and six dirty, large men walking through. In a matter of seconds, Rick's gun was drawn and pointed at the first one in.  
“Sorry we're late fellas but traffic was a bear!” Carl looked at Rick to get an indication of what his next move should be, but Rick kept the man in his sights,”We saw the smallest flicker of light from the creek down yonder and thought we'd join the party.”  
“What do you want?” Rick asked gravely.  
“M'name's Tom and these fellas and me, we just came for supper,” Tom, the largest of all six men, peered into the kitchen,”So what'd y'all cook us? Mmmm, I hope it's biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and gravy is my favorite,” He turned his attention back to Rick,”You can lower yr weapon, friend, we don't mean no harm,” Rick looked at the men and saw three automatic guns, a bat and a crossbow aimed at Carl and himself. He had no other choice. He returned his gun to his holster.”Thanks,” Tom said as he walked towards Rick and kicked him in the head.  
…..  
Michonne woke up startled and unaware of where she was. It was dark and she was wet and cold. After a moment, she remembered that she was taking a bath. She had fallen asleep and the candle had burned out. She stood up and let the cool water run down her body. She carefully stepped out of the tub and placed her hands out in front of her. She fumbled through the bathroom in the dark looking for a towel. She finally found a bathrobe hanging on the back of the door. Just as she slipped it on, she heard the voices. Men. There were at least four or five men on the other side of that door. The way they cursed and boorishly yelled at each other, she could tell they were not welcomed guests. She knew Rick would never willingly let several strange men anywhere near Carl, or her, for that matter.  
Michonne immediately moved her hand forward searching for the doorknob. She quickly found and locked the bathroom door. Using her hands as her eyes, she moved carefully and quietly through the bathroom towards her katana on the sink. She nearly tripped over her dirty clothes but caught herself on the tub. She reached the sink, placed her hands on her sword and removed it from it's sheath. She stood perfectly still trying to decide what her next move should be. She decided to try to crawl out the bathroom window when she heard footsteps coming down the hall.   
“I need to take a piss,” she heard one of the men yell. She could hear him turning knobs and opening doors. She could hear his hand attempting to turn the knob on the bathroom door.   
“That door was locked when we got here but there's a bathroom upstairs,”she heard Rick shout out.   
“Well locked doors make me real curious, pretty boy.” He took his knife from his belt and started to jimmy it open. As the door opened, Michonne swung her blade and removed the stranger's head. It landed in the bathtub and made an unbelievable splash in the water. The other men heard the commotion and charged down the hall. Michonne ran out of the bathroom and towards another one of the men. She effortlessly moved her sword through his gut. He collapsed in front of her right before she felt the bullet pierce her skin.   
…..  
Rick painfully watched as two of the men dragged Michonne across the floor,”Don't you hurt her!” Rick yelled out venomously.  
The man wielding the crossbow walked over to Rick and kicked him in the gut, “I'm pretty sure we're gonna do whatever we want, mate. We'll hurt whoever we want and we'll take whatever we want. Yr just gonna sit there and watch.”  
Michonne looked down at her right arm. She could not see her arm or the wound but she could feel the acute pain from the gunshot and see the blood making an increasingly larger red stain on the white robe. She could smell the alcohol, perspiration and overall stench from the men as they dragged her into the kitchen. Michonne tried to struggle free but it was no use. Two men lifted her up into a chair by each arm. She winced in pain.  
“Well that was a close one little lady. Y'almost chopped my head off with yr shiny, little sword!” Tom chuckled,”It's a real shame for Cody and Russ that they didn't see ya comin' but I sure am glad m'boy Nate had the wherewith-all to stop ya from decapatatin' me.”  
“He should have killed me,”Michonne stated looking directly into Tom's eyes.  
“Well now why would we want to do that? You ain't no use to us dead darlin',” Tom pulled Michonne's hair behind her shoulders and leaned over behind her chair. Tom's face got within an inch of her neck. He inhaled,”Oh man do you smell good! You musta been taking a bath in there and I'm so glad ya did!” Tom yelled out,”Dang fellas, this lady here just had a bath for us! She smells just like a chocolate chip cookie!! Woo hoo, is this gonna be a fun night!”  
Rick and Carl were tied up on the floor next to the fireplace. Rick leaned over to Carl and whispered in his ear,”Carl, it's gonna be alright, just do everything I say.” Rick was well aware of what they were up against. Their opponents were substantial but he had dealt with degenerates like this more times than he cared to mention. The four remaining men were large, tough and malicious. But to Rick, Michonne and Carl's advantage, they were also sloppy, stupid and inebriated. As soon as he saw that none of the men were looking, he quickly removed a knife from his boot. He hid the knife up his sleeve and began to cut the ropes that bound his hands.   
All four men were now in or just outside the kitchen watching Michonne,”Now of course since I have the most seniority in this group, I get first dibs,” Tom declared,”You gentlemen can fight each other for second place.” Tom easily lifted Michonne up and threw her onto the table. She kicked, punched and screamed until one of the ugly animals punched her squarely in the face. She saw stars.  
Rick abhorred what he knew was happening to his closest friend in the kitchen but realized that at least he could work faster and more conspicuously with them distracted. He cut through the last part of the rope confining his hands. He then hastily cut through the ropes on Carl's hands,”As soon as you're free, grab the .380. It's in the front pocket of my pack on the sofa. The clip isn't full so make 'em count.” As they both untied the ropes around their ankles Rick looked directly into Carl's eyes,”Shoot to kill Carl. They don't get to live after what they've done to her.”  
In the kitchen, Tom climbed up on top of Michonne. He licked her neck and then sloppily kissed her. She wanted to vomit but instead, she bit his top lip as hard as she could. Tom screamed out in pain,”I like a little fight, Cookie, but that's too much!” He slapped her and then unbuckled his pants. The other men yelled and cheered as Tom groped at her chest.   
By now Rick and Carl had completely released themselves from the ropes. Carl silently made his way towards the backpack and pulled out the. 380. Rick grabbed the fireplace poker and they made there way towards Michonne.  
Michonne remained indignant but tears rolled down the sides of her face. This was going to happen and she couldn't stop it. She braced herself for her ugly, unavoidable fate and turned her head away. She looked over at the stove and saw the pots of boiling water. The adrenaline in her body took over. She grabbed one by the handle and threw it over Tom's back towards the savages watching. Before Tom knew what was happening, she grabbed another pot of the scalding hot water and poured it directly onto his back then smashed the pot into his head. He flew off of her and in a fit of rage, threw the table over sending Michonne to the floor. She quickly pulled herself up then grabbed a knife off of the counter. Tom charged Michonne and dropped himself on top of her. She tried to stab him but Tom pinned her arms to the ground.   
The men were all screaming in pain when Rick came up from behind and stabbed one in the back of the head with the poker. Carl shot a different man. Rick pulled the poker out and hit another one of them in the face. As the man fell after Rick's blow to his head, Carl swiftly shot him.   
Tom was the only one left to eradicate. He continued to wrestle with Michonne on the kitchen floor. With one hand, he held her down and with the other hand he alternately clawed at her body and slapped and punched her. Rick ran up behind the repulsive fiend and plunged the fireplace poker through his back. Then with all his strength, he pulled Tom off of Michonne and threw him across the kitchen. Rick, completely out of breath, looked at Tom to see if he was dead but before he could make a confirmation, Michonne jumped up from the floor and ran to Tom's body. With the large butcher knife in her hand she began to violently stab him in the chest and stomach. She screamed uncontrollably as she plunged the knife into the monster over and over again. With one final thrust, she drove the knife into Tom's head. Michonne collapsed.


	5. Triage

Triage

Rick picked up Michonne's weakened and barely conscious body from the kitchen floor and carried her to the the living room. He gently laid her down on the sofa and closed her robe,"Carl, get all the towels and rags you can find in the kitchen and bring me another one of those pots of water on the stove," Rick pulled out his knife and cut the sleeve of the robe. Carl ran back with a stack of linens and the water. Rick dipped a clean dish towel into the hot water and rung it out. He cleaned the gunshot wound so that he could better examine it. The bleeding had obviously diminished but it was still bad enough that Michonne was in and out of consciousness. Mostly out. Rick discerned that the bullet went cleanly through her arm. The damage in her right forearm was only done to the tissue. Rick wrapped up her wound tightly.  
Rick looked up from Michonne to see that Carl had picked up the fire place poker. He wasted no time walking through the house and driving the poker through the heads of the vile intruders he knew could come back to hurt them again. Carl was filled with such hatred that the task was done coldly and without hesitation,"That's good Carl."  
Rick walked through the house gathering more supplies. He came back with a needle, thread, bandages, rubbing alcohol, ibuprofen and a bottle of Jim Beam,"Carl come and help me stitch her up," Carl gathered all the candles lit around the house and brought them around the sofa. He shone his flashlight directly onto Michonne's arm where the bullet entered,"I want you to learn how to do this,"Rick rinsed his hands off in the pot of hot water. It burned. He poured rubbing alcohol onto his hands, the needle, thread and Michonne's arm. He methodically stitched Michonne's entrance and exit wounds. He poured more alcohol on the freshly stitched injury and wrapped clean bandages around it. He let out a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from his brow.  
"Good job, Dad," Carl said earnestly.  
"Thanks, you too. You did real good."  
"I just held the flashlight."  
"I meant with those assholes that did this," Michonne began to wake up,"Carl bring me a pitcher of water and a glass," he looked deep into Michonne's eyes as they fluttered and then opened. He tenderly caressed her face,"You're going to be alright. Your arm looks pretty good, considering a bullet went through it. I stitched it up best I could." He looked away,"They're dead. All of them. And they're never going to hurt you or anyone else again."  
Carl returned with the water and Rick opened the bottle of ibuprofen and shook four pills into his hand,"Take these," Michonne opened her mouth and Rick placed the pills on her tongue. He carefully lifted the back of her head up and placed the glass of water to her lips,"Drink it all, every drop," Michonne obeyed, and Rick poured her another glass. She diligently drank the second glass as well,"I don't know how much blood you lost but I want you to stay hydrated."  
Rick took another clean, wet rag and began to gently clean Michonne's face. Wiping the dried blood away, revealed several bruises and a few small cuts.  
"Rick, I have burns on my leg,"she sat up a little and pulled the robe aside from her leg. When she threw the water onto Tom's back, it ran on to her as well.  
Rick held her leg and looked at the large scald. He began to feel a thrashing anger come up his chest. How could these animals have put her through this? For Michonne's sake, he regained his composure,"There isn't much we can do about the burn but keep it clean. The ibuprofen should help with the pain and we have plenty of it. I'll give you more of that in 4 hours and I have acetaminophen you can take in two hours." Rick picked up the bottle of Jim Beam and unscrewed the cap,”Take a few swigs of this too. It'll ease the pain and probably help you to get some sleep," Michonne took the bottle from Rick. She took three large chugs. She coughed a little and Rick handed her even more water.  
Michonne lied back down and closed her eyes again,"Thank you, Rick."  
Rick took her hand in his,"You know I'd do anything for you, just the same way I know you'd do anything for me." He glanced around the room and lightly bit his bottom lip,"Listen, I want you to go upstairs. I want you away from this mess down here. You'll be more comfortable and safe in a bed anyhow."  
"Okay," Michonne agreed.  
Rick darted upstairs. He lit a candle in a corner bedroom and pulled back the blankets of the clean, queen-sized bed adorned with an old quilt with flowers. He hurried back down and returned to Michonne's side.  
"You ready?" Rick asked as he helped her up. She slowly stood but then teetered backwards. Rick caught her. He swiftly but delicately picked her up into his strong, capable arms. She wrapped her left arm around his neck. He carried her through the living room and slowly up the staircase. At the top of the staircase, he nudged the bedroom door open with his boot. He walked across the room and laid her in the bed.  
"I don't want to wear this robe anymore," Michonne stated adamantly.  
"Okay," Rick agreed. He searched the dresser drawers and found a knee-length, cotton nightgown with a dragonfly pattern. He shook it out and took it to her bedside. He carefully slipped it over her head. Rick pulled it down over her chest and Michonne modestly slipped the bulky robe off underneath the nightgown. Rick helped her pull her injured arm through the sleeve and down below her waist. He pulled the blood-stained robe out from underneath her and threw it out into the hall. He adjusted the pillows and Michonne lied down. He drew the covers up to her chin and caressed her forehead with his hand. Even in the darkened room, he could see the bruises on her face.  
Rick felt the profound need to protect and care for her. He had always cared for Michonne, especially over the last few weeks since they had grown closer. But tonight, a deep-seated, animalistic need to defend her overcame him. He didn't want to leave her side but he knew there were other necessary chores for him to do,"I need to go back downstairs for just a little bit and then I'll be right back."  
"I'll be alright."  
Rick hurried back downstairs to find Carl on clean-up duty. Carl had dragged all the bodies to a corner of the kitchen near the back door. Rick was impressed. The world was terrifying and difficult but Rick could only think of how bizarre and backwards the world was. Just a couple of years ago, Rick was impressed with Carl bringing home a report card with all A's and B's or doing a nice job cleaning his room, but tonight, it was Carl's ability to maneuver dead bodies that pleased his father.  
"I would have taken them outside but I didn't think that would be safe right now," Carl told his dad.  
"You were right...that's good thinking Carl."Rick walked over to Carl and put his hand on his shoulder,"You handled yourself real good tonight."  
"Is Michonne okay?" Carl asked with concern.  
"Yeah. She's gonna be alright. She just needs to rest and heal. Are you alright?"  
"I'm good," Carl hesitated,"Dad, is it wrong that it made me happy to kill those guys? I mean they were hurting Michonne and would have hurt her worse if we hadn't stopped them."  
"Sometimes these days it's hard to tell right from wrong but tonight, I know we all did what needed to be done. Don't for one second feel an ounce of guilt for doin' what you did." Rick tousled Carl's shaggy hair,"Help me get this place locked up and then we all need to get some sleep." Rick and Carl secured the first floor as best they could. They slid the large sofa against the kicked-in door. They gathered all their weapons, the meds, more water and headed upstairs.  
"Goodnight, Dad," Carl said ducking into a room that had obviously once belonged to a teenager.  
"Don'tcha think you should sleep in the room with me?"  
"I'll be fine, Dad. I have my gun, my knife and I'll lock the door."  
"Alright," Rick began to turn away but then turned back to face Carl,"Hey Carl," Carl looked at his father waiting,"I love you son. I just want you to always know that. Okay?"  
"I know that Dad. I love you too."  
Rick walked back into Michonne's room, stood next to the bed and studied her. He could tell by her breathing that she was asleep. Rick quietly lifted an oversized, comfortable-looking armchair over to the bed where Michonne slept. He sat down, took his gun out of it's holster and placed it on his lap.  
Rick compassionately fixed his eyes on Michonne's beautiful, sleeping face and drifted off.


	6. Daddy

WARNING: RAPE IS A THEME IN THIS CHAPTER. This story is overall rated T but I'm going to give this chapter an M rating.

Daddy

Michonne awoke startled, breathing rapidly and in a panic. She had yet another nightmare. This time, Tom and his gang had ripped Andre from her arms, heaved him onto the kitchen table and poured boiling water on him,”No please! No! No!!!”she shrieked as she sat up.  
Her screams bolted Rick out of his chair. He unflinchingly grabbed his gun from his lap and inspected the room in every direction. Nothing was there. He holstered his gun and sat on the edge of the bed,”Shh...it's okay, it's okay,”Rick placed his hands on Michonne's shoulders and steadied her,”take some deep breaths Michonne...you're safe.”  
Michonne looked around the room then inhaled and exhaled slowly.  
”Are you okay?” Rick asked her.  
She burst into tears,”I don't know...I don't know if I'm okay,” Rick walked around to the other side of the bed and sat next to her. He carefully put his arm around her and drew her head onto his chest. Rick quietly held her close and soothed her.  
“You are the strongest person I've ever met, Michonne. You might not be okay right now this minute but I know you; you will be okay. I promise.” Rick looked at the bandage on her arm,”How's your pain?”  
“It's bad,” she replied.  
Rick got up from the bed and went to the dresser. He looked at his watch and dropped four pink acetaminophen tablets into his hand. He poured a large glass of water and sat back down on the bed next to her. He put the pills in her mouth and then the water to her lips. Michonne swallowed the pills,”You know the routine, drink it all up.” Michonne gulped the water down and he took the glass from her and placed it on the nightstand. Rick put his arm back around her and she leaned into him.  
After a few moments in the still, dark room, Michonne asked,”Did I ever tell you my Daddy was a cop?”  
“No, I didn't know that.”  
“He was the police chief in Marietta,” Michonne beamed,”He was such a good man, my Daddy. He was a deacon at our church. He made breakfast for us on his days off. He coached my softball team...helped my brother and me with our homework. He was perfect. When he was a patrolman, I was always so worried something might happen to him. I was always worried about losing him but he always came home.” Michonne put her hand on Rick's, “He would have liked you. He would have been able to see that you are a good man. I wish you could have met him. I wish you could know him.”  
“He sounds like a good man, a good father,” Rick said,”I would have liked to have known him.”  
“Rick, it happened to me before,” Michonne said in the most matter-of-fact way.”It's happened to me twice.”  
Without an explanation, Rick knew exactly what Michonne meant. He felt a lump in the pit of his stomach. He held her even closer as if the tighter he held her the better he could safeguard her.  
“The first time was at a party in high school. His name was Chris. I was a sophomore and he was a senior. A big varsity football player. I was infatuated and stupid. I snuck out of the house to a party my parents said I couldn't go to. Me and Chris, we laughed and danced together. I went into a room with him because he said he wanted to show me something. I thought maybe he would give me my first kiss but...,” Michonne was holding back tears,”he held me down and raped me. It just happened. Like that, it just happened and I never told one single person, not until tonight.”  
Michonne took a deep breath then spoke again,“The second time it happened was when I was a college freshman with my boyfriend, Shawn. He seemed so nice and perfect but my Daddy hated him. I mean he really hated him. I couldn't understand why he had this contempt for him, he seemed so nice to me. But my daddy saw something in him I didn't see.   
“Shawn and I went on four dates and by the fourth date, he was expecting something from me. I told him no. I tried to fight him off but I couldn't and it happened again.” Rick could see the tears welling up in Michonne's eyes again. Her telling him all this crushed him but he continued to hold her and listen,”I didn't tell anyone that time either but Daddy could see there was something wrong with me. He asked me what was wrong but I couldn't tell him. I didn't tell him, but he knew. Somehow he knew and then when he asked me again, I told him what happened. I begged him not to tell my mom or make me go to the police. He just comforted me and promised me he wouldn't tell anyone.” Michonne paused,”Do you want to know what my daddy did?”  
“Tell me,” Rick replied. But Michonne didn't speak. She stared blankly at the wall,”you can tell me, Michonne. It's okay.”  
“Rick, my daddy killed him. He waited for him to get off work at the diner he worked at and he followed him as he walked back to the campus and shot him.”  
Rick was stunned but didn't let on,”How do you know he did it?”  
“He called me that same night. He woke me up. He said,'Michonne, that boy ain't never gonna hurt you again, baby. He's not ever gonna hurt anyone!' the next day everyone was talking about what happened to Shawn. Daddy went on like nothing happened. He never spoke about it again and I never told anyone.”  
“You wanted to protect your father the way he protected you.”  
“Rick I don't know why I keep telling you all my secrets.” she said in a detached and emotionless voice, “They're ugly. I'm sure you don't want to hear them.”  
Rick leaned forward and turned to Michonne. He held her face in his hand gently and looked intently into her dark eyes,”You're telling me these things because it's safe to tell me. I care about you...you're my family.” Rick took his hand off her face. He leaned back again but didn't release his grasp on her. He held her tightly in his arms.“I'm sorry these things happened to you Michonne. They shouldn't have. None of them should have happened to you,” he looked at her again,”You fought back tonight. You fought hard. Maybe tonight you did what you couldn't do when you were younger. You're strong. This dead world has made you strong. It breaks you or makes you stronger and it's made you stronger.”   
Michonne said nothing as Rick continued to hold her in his impenetrable embrace. It had been a grim and tortuous night but despite that, Michonne had never felt more secure, more pacified, more loved, not since the world ended. The pain in her body was excruciating but she felt protected and nurtured.   
Throughout her life, Michonne had been hurt many times over and usually by a man. She felt Rick's hand holding hers and knew for certain, he would never hurt her. Rick would do anything for her including give his life,”Thank you for everything, Rick. For saving me and taking care of me. I would have died if you hadn't.”  
“I would be dead and Carl would be alone if you hadn't stopped The Governor from killing me,”Rick said,”It's what we do. We need each other.”  
“We do.”  
“I want you to sleep,” he said to her quietly in his raspy, drawl,”you need to sleep.”  
“Okay, I'll sleep,” Michonne closed her eyes and began to fall asleep. She suddenly opened them again,”Rick, don't leave me, okay?”  
“I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay right here as long as you need me to.” He held her in his arms and they both slept peacefully until morning.


	7. Man's Best Friend

Man's Best Friend

“This is the best breakfast I've had in a long time. Thanks,” Michonne said to Carl as she blew on her spoonful of oatmeal,”I mean fresh raspberries? You've got to be kidding me.”  
“There's bushes outside. There's a ton. There's peach trees too. I think I'm going to try to make some peach cobbler later if the flour isn't stale or has bugs. We'll see how that turns out.”  
“Bugs or no bugs, I'll eat peach cobbler,” Michonne said before taking another hearty bite.  
“Oh my dad wanted me to bring these up to you,” Carl went out into the hall and returned with Michonne's clothes, “My dad washed these early this morning but they're still a little damp. I'll hang them over the chair near the window and the sun will dry them more.”  
Michonne was touched by the kind gestures. She recalled how difficult it was to even get her husband Mike to put his dirty clothes in the laundry, let alone wash her clothes, “Thank you Carl and say thanks to your dad for me.”  
“Sure,” Carl nervously put his hands in his pockets, “Michonne, are you okay?”  
Michonne set her spoon down and wiped her mouth, “Come here kid,” she reached her hand out and motioned for Carl to give her his hand. “It was a bad night,” she said, “but it was also a good night. I don't need to tell you why it was bad, but it was good because we were there for each other and we're all okay now. You and your dad are taking good care of me and I'm fine. Right as rain.”  
Carl let out a sigh of relief, “Good because I've been really worried about you.”  
Michonne had never lied to Carl before. She was better than she was last night but she wasn't fine. She was not,”right as rain”. It wasn't that she didn't trust Carl with the truth she simply did not want to burden him with it. She could see that the pain and responsibility he carried some days was enough for ten grown men. He was young and had lost his mother and his sister. He felt such a magnanimous duty to take care of his dad and her. She loved Carl and would never deliberately add to his load.  
“You don't ever have to worry about me, okay?” Carl nodded, “That said, thank you for what you did. You are brave and strong and I might not be here if you weren't,” Michonne pulled him closer and hugged him.  
Carl hugged her back, “I don't know what we'd do if we lost you.”  
“Well you're not going to so don't bother thinkin' thoughts like that.” Anxious to change the subject, Michonne glanced at the bookshelf across the room,”Hey why don't tell me what books are over there. Your dad says I have to stay in bed all day so I guess maybe I could read when I'm not sleeping.”  
Carl walked over to the short oak bookcase near the window in the bedroom. The top shelf had two long-dead plants atop. The next shelf had pictures of a nice, typical looking family. The family of five was smiling at the beach, in one photograph. A mom, dad, two little girls and a teenage boy, “Don't you look at stuff like this and wonder where they are – what happened to them?”  
Michonne ignored the question. She thought about things like that all the time but she didn't want to talk about it, not right now. “So what books are there?”  
“C.S Lewis, Sara Gran, Stephen King, Patricia Cornwell, Mary Higgins Clark. Oh cool, To Kill A Mockingbird, I just read that at the prison. A bunch of quilting books, some decorating books, a couple gardening books, a couple of Bibles and an encyclopedia.”  
“Can you believe those encyclopedias might come in handy again? Good thing they didn't throw them out when the internet appeared.”  
“Yeah I guess. I don't think I've ever actually seen an encyclopedia. So what book do you want me to bring you. Or I could bring you a few.”  
“Bring me one of the Bibles,” Michonne answered. Carl brought her both the King James Version and the New International Version.  
“Michonne do you believe in God?” Carl asked inquisitively as he handed her the Bibles.  
“Of course I do,” she said, “don't you?”  
“Not really,” Carl replied, “it doesn't seem to make sense to believe in God now.”  
“I think now is when it makes the most sense.”  
“How could you think that with the way things are? I mean the world is dead and it feels like hell on earth,” Carl argued.  
“Yeah that would be terrible if it was the end but it's not. I know with all my heart that there's somethin' after this...somethin' much better. I have an easier time going through this sorrowful life knowing there's another better life on the other side.”  
“I guess if it makes you feel better, than that's good.”  
“Well it does make me feel better,” Michonne grinned at Carl, “some peach cobbler would also make me feel better so I'm gonna start prayin' to Jesus that the flour ain't stale.”  
Carl and Michonne laughed, “Alright, well my dad said to let you get some rest so I'm gonna go pick some peaches. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”  
“Just the cobbler!”  
“I'll do my best,” Carl smiled. “Get some rest.”  
“I will. See ya kid!” The smile on her face remained even after Carl left the room. Rick and Carl both had graciously helped her in their own ways. Michonne felt both needed and cared for by both of them. She loved them and knew it was reciprocated.  
Michonne looked at the Bible and recalled the Bible verse she heard at her brother's wedding. She'd heard it many times before at church growing up but at Isaac's wedding, it was like she heard it for the first time. The depth and meaning touched her and she never forgot it. She turned to 1 Corinthians 13 and read the passage out loud:  
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”  
With tears in her eyes, Michonne rested the Bible in her lap and lied back. In spite of the misery all three of them faced each and every day, they had that. They had love.  
…..  
It was hot and humid that day. Rick and Carl were both outside. They had completed the grueling work of burying the bodies. They would have burned them but Rick didn't want the smell or the sight of the smoke to disturb Michonne. They also did not want any smoke or flames drawing any unwanted attention to them. Burying always took longer but with Carl's help it only took two or three hours.  
The arduous task behind them, they decided to explore the property. Rick sifted through junk in a shed. He found some large packs and nice camping gear. Carl grabbed a short ladder from the shed and went to pick the ripe peaches dangling from the peach trees.  
Rick and Carl both knew the sound very well. Groans. But not the groans of a human or even an animal. It was something else. Something unworldly. The sound was both familiar but unsettling and ominous. It was followed by an overwhelming and pungent smell. A large number of the undead were nearby.  
Rick ran out of the shed towards Carl. He grabbed the ladder and made his way to a lower section of the roof, “Carl get up here, hurry!”  
Carl bolted up the ladder and they used the vantage point of the roof to estimate just how many were coming. Fifty or sixty walkers were headed directly for the cottage. They were less than 200 yards away. It was hard to see beyond a large grove of trees but they knew at least that many were walking towards them.  
“Dad, look they're chasing a dog,” Carl said quietly but clearly, “we need to help it!”  
“No way Carl! It's too dangerous!”  
“Dad, please! Even if you don't want to help the dog, we should still try to distract those walkers away from the house. Right?”  
Rick stared at the herd. He knew Carl was right. If the walkers found their way into the house, they wouldn't be able to fight them off at every door and window. They would easily tear through the house and the three of them would be trapped. It was too big of a risk to let them anywhere near, especially with Michonne still on the mend and unable to fight at her usual caliber.  
Rick didn't care about the dog. His only concern was for Carl, Michonne and himself. He even thought that perhaps they could use the canine to draw the herd of corpses away from them. He didn't share this logic with Carl since he wanted his cooperation.  
“Listen, there are bikes in that shed. We'll lead them to town. It's just a over a mile and a half away,” Rick strategized. “Once we're there, we'll start a fire and sneak back to the house.”  
“Alright,” Carl replied, “what about the dog?”  
“We'll figure that out as we go,” Rick answered.  
“But Dad...”  
“Listen Carl, I'm only interested in protecting you and Michonne!” Rick interrupted, “I'm not risking any of our lives for a dog. Understand?”  
Carl could hear the gravity in his father's voice and knew he wouldn't be able to convince him. Carl also knew his dad was right. No animal would be worth risking their lives for at this moment. Carl realized that he needed to focus his energy on protecting his family. Nothing else mattered.  
“Okay Dad, what do you want me to do?”  
“Go get the bikes out of the shed,” he hastily instructed his son, “bring them to the back door. Is your gun loaded?”  
“Yeah of course.”  
“I'm running inside to tell Michonne what's happening and to get some things,” Rick grabbed Carl by the shoulder, “Be careful, Carl. There might be others close by that broke away from the herd.”  
Without delay, Rick and Carl jumped down from the roof. Carl ran to the shed and Rick ran inside the cottage. In nothing flat, Rick was in the kitchen swinging the cabinet door above the refrigerator open and removing two bottles of vodka and a bottle of tequila. He wrapped each bottle in a dishtowel and carefully placed them in his pack along with matches from the stove. He ran upstairs with urgency crashing through the door to Michonne's bedroom.  
“Rick, what's wrong?” Michonne leaped from the bed and instinctively ran towards her sword.  
Rick ran to her, clutched her arms and looked sharply into her eyes, “Listen, there's a herd of about fifty or sixty walkers coming right for the house. Carl and I are going to lead them away.”  
Michonne grabbed her clothes to start getting dressed.  
“You are staying here!“ Rick commanded, “You were unconscious yesterday.”  
“Well I'm conscious today,”Michonne protested, “Rick I can't stay! I have to go with you and Carl! I want us to stay together!”  
“Do you trust me?” Rick asked.  
“Of course I do.”  
“Then stay here and I promise we'll be back.”  
“You know you can't promise things like that,” Michonne argued.  
“Well I just did promise you,” Rick said this with such a calm assertiveness that there was nothing more for Michonne to say. “Stay in this room, keep the door locked and we'll be back.”  
“Okay,” Michonne said as she grasped Rick's hand desperately, “be careful!”  
Rick bolted out of the bedroom, down the stairs and grabbed his pack. He flung the backpack over his shoulders and ran outside to rejoin Carl, “You ready to do this?” Rick asked as he threw his leg over the bike.  
“Yeah, I'm ready,” the two of them bravely peddled the bicycles towards the herd with certitude.  
They came within 50 feet of the horde of walkers. Carl spotted the dog. The young dog was certainly part German Shepherd mixed with something else, perhaps Akita or Husky. The dog stopped running and directed its attention to Rick and Carl. It began to bark emphatically at the two of them as if to beg for help from the perilous position it found itself in.  
“Come on boy!” Carl yelled at the dog as he slapped his leg. The dog stood looking at Carl, breathlessly panting while trying to decide if the boy could be trusted. “Come on boy!” Carl repeated enthusiastically. This time the dog took off and ran after them while the voracious mob of walkers followed right behind them.  
Rick and Carl moved towards the dirt driveway at a speed fast enough to keep their distance from the herd yet slow enough to keep them on their tail.  
They made their way down the drive and onto the road. The trek took them longer with the slow-moving corpses behind them. The sun was beating down on them and the smell was worse than usual. Carl gagged.  
“We're almost there,” Rick assured his son. “You see that building right at the very end of main street?”  
“Yeah,” Carl replied.  
“We're going to ride up ahead of them as fast as we can to that building, and that's the one we're going to set on fire.”  
“Got it,” Carl said as they began to peddle as fast as they could. The dog ran as quickly as they rode. Rick and Carl made it to the end of the street in less than a minute. They dropped their bikes in the alley behind a gift shop and ran towards the back door. The glass on the door was shattered and they ran inside. As Rick started to remove his pack from his shoulders, a walker lunged at him. Without hesitation Carl shot it in the temple. The noise drew out two more walkers; one from inside the store and another from the alley. Carl shot them both with accuracy.  
“Nice shooting,” Rick said.  
“Thanks.”  
Rick walked up to a display of greeting cards and dumped it over. He poured a bottle of vodka over the pile of never to be used again birthday, thank you, sympathy and baby shower cards, “Carl, look around and try to find things that will burn easily.” Rick lit a match and threw it onto the mess of cards and liquor. Flames shot up and began to consume the paper. He took out the other bottle of vodka and started to haphazardly spill it on a nearby postcard display, a shelf of maps and everywhere else in between. He lit another match. More flames. Carl returned with a large stack in his arms of gift bags, tissue paper and t-shirts. He threw them around the flames and they went up as well.  
“I found these too,” Carl showed his father several bottles of perfume and cologne.  
“Nice. Throw 'em on the fire!” Carl smiled as he slammed a bottle of perfume into the flames. He wound up like a pitcher and threw more bottles onto the walls. The blaze grew and grew as it engulfed the walls where the perfume and cologne had splattered. Rick grabbed a heavy resin music box that said,”Welcome To Georgia!” and hurled it through the storefront window. Carl joined in grabbing piggy banks and water globes and heaving them out through the space where the window was moments ago making loud crashing noises.  
For just a few seconds in the midst the dire situation, Carl managed to have just a little bit of fun. As he threw the random breakable items, Carl remembered a Christmas when he was 8 or 9. He was running through his grandparent's house and knocked a small table over full of his grandmother's tacky Fenton glassware and it shattered. He received a long lecture first from his grandmother then later from his mother about being more careful.  
Careful had taken on a new meaning these days and it certainly had nothing to do with being fastidious with people's frivolous knickknacks. Who even had knickknacks anymore? He continued to throw anything that would break. Being loud was a lost indulgence too and Carl thoroughly enjoyed himself as he brazenly made as much noise as possible to draw the herd towards the fire. Setting the fire and destroying the gift shop and it's contents was much-needed therapy.  
The inferno and the crashing sounds attracted the moaning horde of corpses. They walked mindlessly towards the building engulfed by the enormous, dancing flames,“Let's go,” Rick instructed Carl. They made their way out through the back of the store. As they exited, four walkers approached them and grabbed at them in a frenzy. Rick stabbed one in the head then kicked one down to the ground and smashed his head with the heel of his boot. Carl unequivocally shot the other two in their heads. Rick and Carl jumped on their bikes and rode out of town inconspicuously making sure there were no corpses tailing them. The frisky and friendly Shepherd appeared from out of hiding and followed the duo excitedly. The mission was a success and they were anxious to return to Michonne and the cottage.


	8. Silver Lining

Silver Lining

They made it back to the cottage in 7 minutes flat, the dog in tow. Rick flew off his bike and into the kitchen through the back door. He darted through the house and up the stairs to the corner bedroom. He instinctively went to turn the doorknob but instead decided to knock first. Despite how uncivilized the world had become, Rick wanted to be well-mannered with all things concerning Michonne, “It's me. Can I come in?”  
Michonne opened the door and threw her arms around Rick, “Thank God you're safe!” she exclaimed, “Where's Carl?”  
“He's downstairs, he's fine,” Rick and Carl had been away for less than two hours, but to Michonne, it felt like an eternity. She felt helpless and useless staying at the cottage just waiting. There had never been a time when Michonne had been a liability and not an asset. A time when she was the one who needed protecting yet was unable to protect. She had gotten completely dressed down to her shoes and her katana on her back. She was prepared to be on the move if needed. As she stayed locked in the upstairs room of the cottage ready for whatever would be, she sat by the window, watched for them and prayed for their safe return.   
“I was so worried about you,” Michonne said with distress in her voice still embracing Rick.  
Rick could feel the tension and anxiety in her arms. He held her and rubbed her back gently, “You can relax, we're back. I told you we would be,” Rick pulled away from her grasp and took her face in his hands studying her, “How are you feeling?”  
“Okay, better I guess, she said, “I took more meds for my pain while you were gone.”  
“You should stay dressed, stay ready but I want you to get back in bed and rest,” Rick said as he steered her back towards the bed, “I think we're probably safe for now but I don't know for how long. We distracted the herd away but the fire we set will probably attract more.”   
“This place has been good to us as far as supplies but it's been some sort of magnet for trouble.”  
“Yeah well I don't want to leave just yet,” Rick said as he pulled the quilt back on the bed, “I want you to get some more rest. You need it and I want you at a hundred percent.”  
“Yes Officer,” she smirked as she lied down.  
“Carl and I are going to work the rest of the day getting this place secured. There's some doors and lumber on the side of the house we can use to cover the windows downstairs. We need to stay quiet and keep it dark at night,” the worry on Rick's face didn't go unnoticed by Michonne. “That herd isn't that far away and if they find their way back, I want to be prepared.”  
“Those all sound like good ideas,” Michonne reassured him.  
Just then Carl sprinted up the stairs and ran eagerly into the bedroom, “Michonne, did my dad tell you what we found?” Before she could answer the dog bolted into the room behind Carl.  
“Hmm, did you find a dog?” Michonne grinned.  
“Isn't she awesome?” Carl asked.  
“Oh it's a girl, huh,” Michonne said, “good because I'm not sure how much more testosterone I can handle.”  
“Carl, we don't know for sure that it's a good idea for us to keep her,” Rick interjected.  
“Dad we saved her. We have to keep her,” Carl stubbornly protested.  
“We can't have a dog barking and attracting walkers. We have to think about being able to feed her too.”  
“Please Dad, please,” Rick looked at Carl's pleading eyes and wanted to say yes. There were so many losses these days that it was hard to say no to a boon like this.   
“We'll give it a try but if she can't stay quiet, it's just not going to work.”  
“I promise I'll keep her quiet, Dad. I'll train her,” Carl insisted as he rubbed her belly. She rolled onto her back submissively to let Carl continue to give her the welcome attention.  
“Maybe she's already trained,” Michonne suggested, “she looks well taken care of...well fed and clean. She wouldn't have made it this far if she hadn't been. She probably belonged to someone until recently.”  
Rick hadn't noticed before but the dog had a collar with tags. He reached for one of the tags, “Her name's Winnie.”  
“Winnie!” Carl exclaimed. As soon as she heard her name her ears perked up and she rolled over from her back onto her legs expecting further instructions, “Hey Winnie! You're gonna stay with us but you have to promise to keep quiet, okay Winnie?” She wagged her tail as Carl continued to play with her on the floor. The smile on his face brought smiles to Rick and Michonne. For the first time since being at the prison, he seemed genuinely happy. In that moment, with all of them safe and under one roof, they were all happy.  
…..  
The long and laborious day was coming to an end. Rick and Carl had done an exceptional job of securing the downstairs. They boarded up each window completely from the outside and several from the inside. They rearranged the furniture up against the doors and windows. They only left the door in the kitchen accessible but they fastened boards across it that could easily slide off and on. They filled buckets and pots and pans with water and brought it inside reducing the need to go outside every time the need for water arose. They had done an excellent job and were now exhausted.  
Winnie had been perfect. She didn't bark once. It was as if she also knew the grave importance of keeping quiet.  
“If she's gonna stay with us, I want you to keep her on a leash or a cable for a while,” Rick had instructed Carl,”she needs to stay close and not go wandering off.” Carl and Winnie both complied.  
The sun was setting now and they all headed upstairs. They brought with them the dinner Carl had made: macaroni and cheese with tuna and peas. It felt like a feast compared to many of the meals they had eaten over the last two years. Rick gathered all their weapons, water and went into the bedroom where Michonne had spent the entire day.   
“Set the food down and help me move this dresser in front of the door,” Rick locked the door and the two of them slid the heavy oak dresser in front of the door. Heavy blankets hanging over the windows added extra concealment from the dim candlelight.   
“I think this place is as secure as we can make it,” Rick said to Michonne who was still tucked in bed  
“You boys did a good job,” Michonne praised them as she dug into her dinner. Rick and Carl had worked up quite the appetite and scarfed down their dinner in minutes. Winnie ate stale crackers and a can of tuna, “Winnie's probably the only one out of the four of us that misses eating squirrel.”  
“Yeah you're probably right,” Carl said with a chuckle, “Hey Michonne, I know I said I would try to make peach cobbler but...”  
“Hey I think you had a pretty busy day, Carl...not much time left to play Betty Crocker,” Michonne replied, “besides, the way you two have been feeding me, I don't know if I'm still going to be able to fit into my jeans when we leave.”  
“Well I hope you saved room for dessert anyway because I brought up Poptarts,” Carl smiled as he handed one to Michonne and his dad.  
“Fruit and pastry...Poptarts are basically cobbler,” Michonne said as she unwrapped hers,”and I know how much you love these, so thanks for sharing Carl.”  
Carl scoffed,“I'm not sharing. It all belongs to all of us.”  
The sentiment touched Michonne and she looked at Carl with a tender smile, “You're a sweet boy, Carl.” Then without batting an eye, Michonne said it, “I love you, kid!”  
Carl and Rick both looked up from their Poptarts at Michonne. Did they hear her right? “I love you” were not words to be trifled with. When Rick had said it to Carl the night before, it had been the first time Carl had heard those words in probably a year. The last time before that was when his mother said it to him right before she had given up her life for Judith. They were reserved for solemn and sober moments. Even before the turn, the three members of the Grimes family seldom said it. It was always, “Have a good day!” or “See ya later!” It wasn't that the feelings of love weren't there, they were. They just weren't expressed in the sentimental yet serendipitous way Michonne just had. They were hugs from his mom and pats on the back from his dad. The Grimes men were dumbstruck.  
“Do you mean that,” Carl asked.  
“Of course I mean it. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it,” Michonne said with a look of confusion on her face.  
“Oh, well I love you too,” Carl replied awkwardly but earnestly.

Rick looked at Michonne from across the room. He smiled and bit his bottom lip. He had known for a long time...since back at the prison, in fact. He knew all this time but couldn't bring himself to admit it. How could he admit it to her if he couldn't even admit it to himself. But tonight he knew for certain without a single reservation. The woman who had saved him, the woman he had saved. The woman who loved his son and made them laugh through their pain. She was brave, smart and beautiful. Yes she was stunning to look at but the most beautiful things about her were not on the surface. He had never known anyone like her and back in the old world their paths would probably have never crossed. But this world had brought them together for some reason and he was deeply grateful for that. She was the silver lining in this dark cloud. Yes he knew he loved her. He loved Michonne.   
The realization made his body quiver and sweat. The surreal feeling made him unsure of everything. What did this mean? How did love work now. For so long his only mission was to survive and protect those around him. He didn't know how this cognizance would complicate the dynamic of their simple lives of survival. All he knew for sure was that he had to tell her. 'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow.


	9. Like I'm Gonna Lose You

Let's take our time to say what we want  
Use what we got before it's all gone  
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow

So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye  
Wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted  
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time

"Like I'm Gonna Lose You"  
By Meghan Trainor featuring John Legend  
Written by M. Trainor, J. Weaver, and C. Smith 

Like I'm Gonna Lose You  
Once again, Carl was out like a light. He was sleeping on a mattress they had dragged in from another room. Rick wanted him close. He laid on the mattress under the window with Winnie curled up next to him. Winnie already knew who her new master was and she was grateful and eager to please him. Her head shot up when Rick moved the big chair next to Michonne's bedside.  
“I'm glad you let him keep her,” Michonne looked over at Carl, “He's so happy...makes me happy.”  
“I just hope it works out. He deserves a little happiness.”  
“We all deserve some happiness,” Michonne said, “if we can find it.”  
“It's a lot harder to come by these days,” Rick sighed with a troubled expression.  
“So what's the plan?”  
“I don't know. That depends on you. How are you feeling?”  
“Well the pain is better but my arm has been tingling all night. I think maybe there could be some nerve damage.”  
“Not sure what I can do about that. Physical therapy might help after you're healed,” Rick theorized,”So I guess that means yr' gonna have to learn to swing your sword with your left arm instead,” Rick joked.  
Michonne raised her eyebrow and said with a sly grin on her face,“What makes you think I don't already know how?”  
“Showoff,” Rick chuckled, “I still want to stay here at least a couple more days. How is your leg? Burns are prone to infection.” Again Michonne could see the look of concern on Rick's face.  
“I'll be okay, don't worry,” Michonne smiled,”It hasn't blistered, which is good. I found some garlic tablets in the bathroom,” Rick's look of confusion indicated to Michonne that she should clarify. “Garlic's a natural antibiotic. I've been keeping it clean with ointment and clean bandages.”  
“Let me look at your arm and change the bandages.”  
“Okay.” Michonne slid her arm out from under the blanket. Rick unwrapped the bandage and examined the wound.  
“It looks pretty good. I'm gonna put on some fresh gauze though,” Rick went to the dresser and gathered what he needed to redress Michonne's arm. He sat back down and gently took her arm in his hand. He poured rubbing alcohol onto his hands and worked it into his palms and fingers thoroughly. He put ointment onto both sides of the wound. He took the fresh gauze and began wrapping it around her arm.  
As Rick carefully wrapped her injured arm, he looked up into her eyes, sparkling in the candlelight. He was lost in them, mesmerized. The pureness in her eyes always reflected the best in him and made him feel affection and admiration. The deep brown radiance drew him in and he felt like he could read her mind. Rick's instincts told him that she felt the same way about him...she loved him too. Rick wanted to tell her how he felt. He needed to tell her. The gaze between them became more intense and it was on the tip of his tongue. Then Rick, hindering his own intentions, lost his nerve. He looked back down at her arm and finished wrapping it.  
“All done,” he said and sighed. He went back to the dresser and returned with her ibuprofen and water. He sat in the chair next to her bed and gave her the pills and glass, “Drink up.”  
Michonne took the pills and drank the entire glass of water. She set the glass on the nightstand and looked at him,”Rick, what's on your mind?” she said bluntly.  
“Aw nothin',” Rick lied.  
“I know you better than that.”  
“Do you now?” Rick looked down shyly, “you tell me what I'm thinkin' then.”  
“You're thinking about me,” she said, “you're worried about me.”  
“Yeah, you're right. I'm worried. Seems like that's all I do now is worry.” Rick said as he looked around the room. He nervously fidgeted with the bottle of pills, “I just want you to be...to be okay,” he stammered.  
Michonne looked at Rick and wished she could lift some of the weight from his shoulders. No matter what the situation was, Rick worried. Even behind the relative safety of the prison walls, Rick was always plagued with anxiety about keeping it secure, keeping them fed, keeping the peace and everything in between. There wasn't a day that he worked fewer than 14 hours to ensure that everyone else would be alright. This was the burden of being their leader and he obliged without tiring or complaining.

Even now, when it was just the three of them, his responsibility didn't diminish. He took it no less seriously. It was obvious to Michonne just how much the pressure of protecting and providing for them exhausted him.  
She was different though. She made a conscious effort to not dwell on all the things that could go wrong and it usually worked. There was plenty to worry about but she knew it did no good. Rick worried enough for the both of them anyhow. Michonne would simply make a plan and then do her best to follow it through. She looked at Rick and longed to do something to ease his distress.  
“I'm okay Rick. You've taken such good care of me and I'm okay,” Michonne assured him. “Last night was a really bad night. Then I laid a lot of my baggage on you on top of it. I'm sorry for that.”  
Rick took her hand in his,“Don't say that. Who you are, the pain you've been through, it's not something you have to hide or keep from me. You're not a burden and I never want you actin' like you are,” he consoled her. “Last night hurt me because it hurt you. But nothing made me feel better than to hold you and comfort you.” Rick paused, “You know, I've laid some of my baggage on you too and you've been there for me.”  
“It goes both ways. I want to be there for you. We need each other. That's just the way it is.”  
“Michonne studied Rick. She knew there was something other than the worry on his mind. He was distracted and holding back, “There's something else...something you're not telling me, Rick.”  
Silence filled the air. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was just still. Michonne waited patiently for Rick to say what was on his mind and he finally spoke, “Hearing you with Carl, hearing you tell him you love him, it made me realize something. Something I always knew but I guess it just wasn't clear or I was too distracted to see it, didn't want to see it,” Rick was looking at the floor, silence overtook the room again.  
Michonne reached her hand towards his face. She lifted his chin and pulled his gaze back towards her, “If there's somethin' you gotta tell me, just tell me,”she said gently.  
Rick couldn't meet her gaze. Instead he put his head down on the bed, next to her, “I love you,” he whispered, “I love you Michonne. That's what I'm thinking. That's what's on my mind. I love you so much it hurts,” he cried.  
Michonne placed her hand on his head,“Rick. Look at me,” she said to him, “look at my face.” Rick kept his tear-strewn face down. “Why won't you look at me?”  
”I can't. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to love you.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I don't want to lose you.”  
“Look at me Rick,” he finally obeyed. “You're not going to lose me.”  
“We've lost so much already. I don't think I could take another loss. Not you.”  
Michonne pulled the blanket back and stepped out of the bed in front of Rick. She took his face in her hands and pulled his head into her midriff. She caressed his head running her fingers through his messy curls. Rick put his arms around her waist and clung to her tightly, resting his head on her stomach, not wanting to ever let go. Michonne wrapped her arms around his head and held him, tenderly enveloping him in an embrace that felt natural, peaceful and perfect.  
Michonne pulled Rick up from the chair. Rick stood up and looked down into her eyes, transfixed. Michonne looked up at him intensely, “You have to know that I love you too...I belong with you.” She rested her head on his chest and they held tightly to each other. “Whether we have days or decades together, we don't have to be scared to love each other. There's enough to be scared of, I don't want to be scared of that.”  
“If you tell me not to be afraid, I won't be afraid,” Rick said with a hushed tone, hypnotized by the rush of emotion he felt. He tilted his head and lowered his face to Michonne's. His lips found her lips and he kissed her slowly, tenderly and with sober intention. Their embrace tightened and Rick kissed her again passionately and as soon as their lips joined, everything else around them vanished. The dark and dead world diminished. Their pain disappeared. They could have been at their senior prom, on their first date, or on the dance floor at their wedding. It was perfect. The love they felt for each other in that moment, consumed every part of them, and for the first time in two years, they both wholly and completely forgot the nightmare they were living in.


	10. Peachy

Peachy

The warm morning sun shone through the bedroom window onto Michonne's face and forced her eyes open. She thought that maybe last night was a dream but then, she felt Rick's arm around her waist. She closed her eyes again and smiled. It wasn't a dream. For the last two nights she had slept in Rick's gentle embrace and for the last two nights she had slept peacefully and without the agonizing nightmares. Was this real?   
Life for the last two years had been plagued with death, running, hunger, pain and despair. Even over the span of the last two days, with the repulsive degenerates who held them captive and the herd of walkers, they were fighting for their lives.   
But today, they were safe in the upstairs room of the cottage, all of them. Michonne had awoken in the arms of a man she loved and that loved her back.  
Michonne kept her eyes closed. She replayed it all in her head, each kiss, each word spoken, each look exchanged. She let out a joyful sigh. Last night had been beautiful. It had been a very long time since either of them had passionately kissed another person. Although there had been a lengthy interlude for both of them when it came to matters of love and romance, things couldn't have felt more natural. Rick and Michonne were in perfect sync. Their lips met for the first time and for the rest of the night, their lips were seldom apart. They kissed, held each other, talked and then fell asleep clinging to one another. It was innocent and perfect.  
Michonne opened her eyes again and looked at Carl, still sleeping. She quickly slipped out of Rick's arms and stepped out of the bed. She didn't want Carl to see his dad and her lying in bed together. She wanted to talk to Rick before they brought Carl into the picture.   
“Hey where do you think you're going?” Rick whispered as Michonne sat in the chair adjacent to the bed.  
“I don't want Carl to see us just lying in bed together,” Michonne answered.  
“Why not? We didn't do anything wrong...we still have all our clothes on,” Rick chuckled.  
“I just want to clarify everything before we talk to him.”  
“What's to clarify? I love you and you love me. Right?” Rick said as an impatient grin appeared on his face.  
“Right. But don't you want to talk to him first?” Michonne asked.  
“Not right now. Right now, I want you to lie back down next to me and let me kiss you some more.”  
“Was last night even real?” Michonne asked looking up and smiling,”This feels so surreal. I feel like I need someone to pinch me.”  
“Well pinching you would be my job now, so come here so I can get started.”  
“Well not before I use the little girl's room and I brush my teeth,” Michonne flashed him a toothy grin as she walked towards the bathroom.  
“Fair enough. I guess I'll do the same.” Rick sat up and leaped out of bed jumping in front of Michonne and blocking her way to the bathroom,”just one little kiss first.”  
Michonne complied giving him a peck on the cheek as she giggled like a school girl.  
“I can hear you guys,” Carl shouted from the other side of the room, surprising them both.  
“Well how long you been listening kid?” Michonne looked over at Carl.  
“Long enough. I heard it all,” Carl replied,”You guys are in love, blah, blah, blah. I get it. It's cool.”  
“Well the cat's out of the bag. So I guess we don't have to have some long drawn-out conversation about our feelings,” Rick said to Carl.  
“Thank God!” Carl blurted out.  
Michonne walked into the bathroom, squeezed toothpaste onto a toothbrush and began to brush her teeth. She looked in the mirror and smiled. It was a glorious morning!  
…..  
“I need to get out of this room,” Michonne told Rick,”I need fresh air and sun.”  
“So you're feeling up to it then?” Rick questioned her with concern,”I don't want you to push yourself too fast.”  
“Trust me, this is better. I had some time to rest and now it's time for me move.”  
“I trust you. I just don't want you to....”  
“I promise Rick, I'll be alright.” Michonne cupped his face,”Stop worrying.”  
“Okay,” she was right and Rick knew it. It's not that she was healed one hundred percent. It's that she knew herself, knew her limitations and knew her abilities. Michonne's instincts were impeccable and that's why Rick trusted and valued her opinion to the extent he did,”well let's go then.”  
Michonne slipped her boots on and threw her sword across her back. Rick held his hand out to hers to escort her out of the room. Michonne was slightly surprised. She smiled shyly and took his hand. The feeling of her hand in Rick's just walking down the hall, down the stairs and outside was, foreign but nonetheless, exhilarating.  
The last time she felt those butterflies was almost 9 years ago when Mike kissed her at her doorstep after their first date. She couldn't fairly compare the two men though. It was apples to oranges. What she felt with Rick, was like nothing she'd ever known before. She felt honored, protected and loved by him beyond what she'd ever known. It made her feel like a woman but also in a peculiar way, like a child.  
The gravity of their day to day lives made the depth of their relationship all that more serious too. To have someone who truly loved you and had your back, was not the same as it was a few years ago. To really love someone now meant doing things that might have been unthinkable before. Sacrificing your own well-being, comfort and even your life were all things she knew they were willing to do for each other. Love was not the same.   
They exited the house through the kitchen door. Carl was walking Winnie in close proximity to the cottage. He was keeping her on her leash per Rick's instructions. Winnie walked through the yard sniffing at everything before she spotted a butterfly and bounded forward to eat it. She licked her lips and the three of them laughed.  
“As soon as she knows for sure that she belongs to us, maybe we'll try lettin' her off her leash,” Rick stated,”Who knows, maybe we could teach her to hunt.”  
“Dad, I know I kept saying we should stay here but I think you were right about moving on,” Carl looked at Michonne with a look of guilt and remorse,”This place isn't as safe as I thought it would be.”  
Michonne walked up to him and put her arm around his shoulder,”Hey, none of us had any reason to think this place would be as dangerous as it's been. Your Dad and I made the choice to stay here and we probably would make the same choice again. Truth is, really safe places are pretty hard to come by.”  
“But we still have to keep looking,” Rick chimed in,”I know we'll find something eventually.”  
Michonne looked at Rick with admiration. She appreciated the refreshing optimism in his statement,“We will find somethin'.” She looked down at her arm,”I think I'll be well enough to leave tomorrow or the next day.”   
Michonne eyed the peaches dangling from the branches overhead. She pulled one down and took a generous bite,”These are ripe. If I start right now, I can slice up these peaches and sun dry them. We can have dried peaches in our packs for months.”  
“I'll start picking,”Carl said as he tied Winnie up.  
“While you two are doin' that, I'm gonna gather some more supplies and get our packs ready.” He focused on Michonne,”Dryin' peaches, that's a good idea,” Rick said,”and it'll be a chore you can do while you're taking it easy.”  
“It usually takes more time than what we have to completely dehydrate fruit but it's pretty hot and we'll make do,” Michonne looked Rick in the eyes,”and yes, I promise I'll take it easy, Rick.”  
The sound of his name from her mouth was different today. Different than it had ever been before. Rick looked at her, moved towards her and kissed her gently, slowly. He could still taste the sweetness of the peach on her lips. He lingered close to her face and whispered,”Do you know how good it feels to do that?”  
“Yeah, I do.”  
The bliss Rick and Michonne felt was palpable. They would have loved to stay in the moment but as always, there was work to do. Rick looked at Michonne and Carl and stated with exuberance,“Let's get started!”


	11. Family Ties

Family Ties

Rick put the finishing touches on the trailer he rigged to one of the bicycles. The two bikes that Rick and Carl had used to lead the herd away were in good repair and now outfitted with the trailer to hold gear. They had found three more bicycles in the shed. One was pretty beat up and the other two were child-sized. Rick spent the better part of yesterday doing his best to get the beat-up bike in working condition and attaching the trailer to another bike. He wasn't much of a mechanic but he looked at his handiwork and was pleased.  
“So you got 'em all ready?” Carl asked as he handed his dad a tall glass of lemonade.  
“Yeah,” Rick gulped down half the glass,”we'll be able to turn over at least three times the miles with these.”  
“We're only going to Waycross though, right?”  
“Yeah but who knows if we'll stay there. I just want to check and see if Uncle Jeff and his family are there.”  
“It'll be a lot easier to get away quickly with the bikes. Thanks for the upgrade Dad.”  
“I know it's not the upgrade you wanted,” Rick chuckled,”but I promise I'll get you that '69 Camaro as soon as I see it.”  
”Cool,” he grinned,”so you and Michonne...is that still really happening?” Carl asked with curiosity.  
“Yep, that's really happening. I thought you didn't want to talk about it,” Rick smiled.  
“Well I guess I changed my mind.”  
”Fair enough,” Rick said as he loaded a tarp, hatchet and lantern into the trailer,”you called it the other day and I denied it. But you were right.”  
“Do you love her?”  
Rick stopped working and stood in front of Carl,”I've only ever been in love with two women in my entire life. Your mom and Michonne.”  
“You love her like you love mom?”  
“No I don't love her like I love mom...well not exactly,” Rick looked away,”she's very different from your mom...it's not the same.” Carl had a confused look on his face.”Listen, the way I felt – feel about mom is one thing. She's the mother of my children, the first girl I ever kissed, we have history.”  
Rick looked at the window of the bedroom where he and Michonne had shared so much together over the last few days,”Michonne came into my life and kinda turned it upside down. She's not like anyone I've ever known. She's smart, strong and has a heart that I just...I just need her. Feelings aren't always easy to explain.”  
“I think I get it dad. I feel like I need her too,” Carl confessed,”I don't know, I just don't ever want her to not be in our lives. Is that a weird thing to say?”  
“Not at all. I feel the same way,” Rick patted Carl on the back.  
“Well it seems like you make each other happy so I'm happy for you guys.”  
“Thanks Carl. It's a relief to hear you say that. I think Michonne was worried about what you'd think. She cares about you so much,” Rick said,”So, you all packed up and ready?”  
“Yeah, I just need to get Winnie.”  
“Well it's almost nine and I want to get going in the next half hour,” Rick packed a few more things into the trailer,”I'm going to go check on Michonne and see if she's ready.” Rick walked into the kitchen. He glanced around the kitchen and living room before walking upstairs and to the bedroom. So much had transpired in the little cottage over the last four days. All the good and bad emotions overwhelmed him.   
Rick paused before going in the bedroom. Michonne's back was to him and he watched her as she finished stuffing the last of her items into her backpack. He just couldn't believe that he had fallen in love in this dark and terrifying world. Rick looked at her and as he did, he felt more hope for their future than despair about their past. He shook his head, smiled and entered the room.   
Michonne had her dreadlocks tied up in a bun. He had never seen her wear her hair like that. Her elongated neck and smooth, dark skin made her irresistible. Rick came up behind her and slipped his hands around her slender waist and kissed the back of her neck,”You ready?”  
Michonne turned around in Rick's arms and planted her lips on his,”I'm ready.”  
“You know, we're going to be with Carl every moment of every day for who knows how long,” Rick excitedly kissed her neck, ears and lips while holding on tightly to her waist,”I think we should take advantage of our last few moments of privacy...for Carl's sake,”   
“Oh you think so huh?” Michonne replied sarcastically,”Well if it's to protect Carl than you're probably right,” they playfully kissed each other and before long the playful kisses turned into longer, deeper kissing. They fell onto the bed and Rick's hands started to go under Michonne's shirt,”And just what do you think you're doing?” Michonne smiled at him but pushed his hands downward.  
“Sorry, but you're hard to resist,” Rick bit his bottom lip hard which made him pretty irresistible to her as well.  
“You know how I feel about you but I'm not there yet, Rick,” Michonne lovingly caressed his face,”I'm old fashioned. I know that might seem strange especially now but it's...”  
“You don't have to explain,” Rick said as he stared into her eyes,”I love you and want to show you all the respect you deserve.” Rick held her in his arms and kissed her again.”We should get going,” He got up and helped her to her feet. He grabbed her bag and started to leave the room.  
“Hey!” Michonne came up behind him, grabbed his arm pulling him towards her and kissed him one more time,”I love you too.” Rick grinned happily.

…..

Rick, Michonne and Carl rode their bicycles down the deserted, tree-lined road. Rick and Carl had been taking turns riding the bike with the heavily packed trailer and holding Winnie's leash. Of course Michonne offered to take a turn at pulling the trailer but Rick refused saying,”I considered putting you in the trailer,” to which Michonne laughed and rolled her eyes.   
“So tell me about this brother of yours,” Michonne inquired.  
“Jeff is 2 years older than me. He was a math teacher. His wife's name is Maryanne. They have two kids. Olivia or Liv who I think would be about 17 and Mikey who's probably 13.”  
“Are you close with them?”  
“Nah, Jeff and I have never been close. We're kinda like oil and water. Fought like cats and dogs every day we lived together. We managed to put our differences aside when we were older but we've never been close.  
“We saw them two maybe three times a year - at least every Christmas. Our parents liked us to all get together like we were some happy, close-knit family. I didn't mind pretending for their sake and Carl liked seeing his cousins,” the three continued to peddle along at a leisurely pace,”aside from my parents, a few cousins and an aunt on the west coast, Jeff and his family are the only family I got. I always wanted to see if they made it but never could before now, since I was helping take care of the group.”  
“What happened to your parents?”  
“I don't know. They moved to Arizona just a couple months before things went bad. Arizona may as well be China when you're riding a bike through hordes of corpses.” Rick had a dejected look on his face,”What about your family?”  
“This plague took my dad and my brother. My mom died five years ago from heart failure. I'm glad she didn't have to see this. I have some extended family in Chicago and Flint, Michigan. I have no idea what happened to them though.”  
“I guess there's a lot of us in that same boat...not knowing. What can you do though?”  
“I have hope for them. I mean if we made it, maybe they did too,” Michonne looked at Rick,”and of course if they didn't make it, I always have the hope that I'll see them in the next life.”  
Rick raised his eyebrows,”Maybe. I guess I don't know for sure.”  
“Welcome to Waycross...Go Gators!” Carl read on the green water tower. They had made it. Everything was quiet. The streets were empty. They road slowly through town, looking in every direction for any signs of life, or death.  
“Alright, keep tight everyone. Eyes open and follow me. My brother's house is only about five blocks away.”  
The four rode quickly down a side street away from the main street. They turned down Pennsylvania Avenue and watched as Rick parked his bike in front of the modest but large Georgian Colonial. Michonne and Carl parked as well and all of them walked up the steps to the front door.  
Rick went to turn the doorknob but the door wasn't closed. He pushed it opened and called out quietly,”Jeff! Maryanne! Liv...Mikey!” Michonne, Carl and Winnie followed Rick into the house. He called out their names again but their was no response, only quiet. It was obvious that the house had been empty for some time but Rick continued to search. The look of despair in Rick's eyes was also obvious,”I didn't think they would be here but knowing it for sure now...” tears welled up in Rick's eyes.  
“Carl and I will finish clearing down here. You go upstairs.” Michonne instructed.  
Rick slowly walked upstairs. Two of the bedroom doors and the bathroom door were open. Rick cleared the rooms quickly then stopped and stared at the master bedroom door which remained closed. Rick heard banging from the other side. He knew all too well what was in there but couldn't bring himself to open the door.   
“Jeff,” Rick said quietly,”you in there?” More banging and moaning came from the room. Rick stood there and leaned his forehead onto the door. He didn't move but just stood listening to the groans and clattering. ”I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I couldn't come sooner. I'm so sorry,” Rick pulled his knife out and placed his hand on the doorknob and began to turn it.  
“Rick, wait,” Michonne and Carl had come upstairs to back him up,”you got this?”  
“Yeah, I got this,”Rick replied somberly,”Carl, go in the other room. I don't want you to see this.”  
“You sure you don't need my help?” Carl asked.  
“Yeah, I'm sure. Michonne and I will do it,” Carl went into Mikey's room and closed the door.  
Rick turned the knob and had to push against the door to enter the room. He walked in and the long-dead body of his brother Jeff lunged at him. Rick stabbed his knife into his skull and fell down on top of him.   
The body of a half-eaten boy went after Rick but Michonne stopped him by driving her sword through the boy's eye socket. The dead boy collapsed.  
Rick sat up and stared into his brother Jeff's face. He barely recognized him. He stood up and looked at Mikey. Tears fell from his eyes as he stumbled over to Michonne. He put his head on her shoulder and she held him tightly.  
“I'm so sorry,” she said as she held him close.  
“Me too.”

…..

Rick and Carl spent the next few hours digging a grave in the backyard. They wrapped the two bodies in sheets and carefully dragged them downstairs and outside to the yard. They lowered the bodies gently into the dirt and climbed out. As they shoveled dirt onto the bodies of Rick's brother and nephew and Carl's uncle and cousin, Michonne came to their sides with a shovel too. As the three of them buried the bodies, Michonne began to sing:

As I draw this fleeting breath  
As my eye's shall close in death  
As I rise to world's unknown  
And behold Thee on thy throne  
Rock of Ages cleft for me  
Let me hide myself in Thee

Rick stopped working and stared at her captivated by her sweet-sounding, melodious voice. His heart was touched and his soul nourished by her singing, as he buried his loved ones.  
Minutes later, Rick finished patting the dirt onto Jeff and Mikey's grave. Carl had made a cross out of tree branches and placed it into the ground at the top of the grave. Michonne went inside and came back out into the yard and gave the men each a glass of water.  
“Thanks,” Rick said looking thoughtfully at Michonne,”thanks for everything.”  
“Of course,” Michonne said softly.  
”You know, I didn't know you could sing,” Rick said,” It was really beautiful. I'm gonna want to hear more of that.”  
“Sure,” Michonne reached over and grabbed Rick's hand and smiled.   
Rick looked at Carl,”You okay?”  
“Yeah, or at least I will be,” Carl replied. Rick pulled Carl close to him and hugged him firmly. Michonne came close and put her arms around both of them. They all held each other quietly but the solemn group hug was interrupted by a low growling.   
The three drew their weapons and looked over at Winnie. Her teeth were bared and she was growling quietly but intensely. Carl ran over to her and grabbed her leash,”What do you see Winnie?” she continued to snarl and stare into the kitchen through the back door.  
The three had their weapons aimed in the direction of the kitchen and began to approach. Just then, a young girl with long brown hair and a pretty face walked outside with a baseball bat over her shoulder.  
“Uncle Rick? Is that you?”  
…..

“Rock of Ages”  
written by Reverend Augustus Montague Toplady


	12. Fools Rush In

Fools Rush In

“So do you want the grand tour?” Liv asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Carl replied. 

“You should come with us too Holly,” Liv said in a gentle but firm tone. Holly obliged.

The four of them and Winnie walked with Liv through the large, historical building. In addition to the two main stories, the Federal style building had a basement and an attic. The attic offered 360 degree views of Waycross. The library was nearly 12,000 square feet and spacious. The interior was brightly lit. There were several tall, ornate windows on all sides. However, from the outside of the building the windows were six feet above ground. All the exterior antique doors were long ago replaced with steel doors. There was an enormous marble fireplace in the center of the building. It was obvious to Michonne and Rick why Liv had chosen this building. 

“Does the fireplace work,” Rick asked.

“I don't know. We've never tried to use it. We don't get too cold but if we do, we just throw on an extra blanket,” Liv replied. They continued through the first floor,“I turned this meeting room into our kitchen. We sleep in the office behind the front desk. It locks from the inside.”

“What about water?” Michonne inquired.

“Well Kettle Creek is closer but I have to boil any water I get from there which uses too much propane,” Liv explained.”I usually take my wagon with a bunch of jugs about a mile and a half away to this farmhouse. There's a well with a pump there. I go once a week.”

“This looks really secure,” Michonne said to Rick.

“Yeah, yeah it does. I want to take a better look at the outside of the building before it get's dark though.” Rick took Michonne's hand, “You wanna come with me?”

Michonne nodded and smiled, “Let's take Winnie - let her get a feel for the place too.”

“Carl, come with us and wait by the front door so we can go in and out quickly,” Rick said.

“Sure Dad.” Rick, Michonne and Winnie walked out through the front double doors of the library. The weighted steel doors shut and latched automatically behind them. The doors had tall, skinny windows five inches by two feet. Carl stood by the doors and looked out the windows as best he could. Rick and Michonne walked down the concrete steps. Rick's hand was on his gun but it remained in its holster. Michonne had Winnie's leash in her right hand and her sword drawn in her left hand.

“Can you really swing that with your left arm?” Rick asked.

“Yeah,” Michonne answered, “when I was by myself, before I met Andrea, if I wasn't in too precarious of a situation, I practiced with my left hand a lot. I'm not as good but I can manage all the same.”

“How's your arm been today?”

“It's good. A lot better. I'm getting stronger every day,” Michonne looked at Rick with gratitude, “I had a good doctor.”

“I'm wearing a lot of different hats lately: cop, doctor, farmer, engineer, bike repairman...”

“Don't forget zombie Pied Piper,” Michonne grinned and Rick laughed.“Yeah you're a regular Renaissance Man, Grimes.” 

”I guess you have to be if you want to make it these days,” Michonne and Rick continued to chat as they walked around the perimeter of the building.

The sturdy exterior was made of large limestone bricks,“Look at how high above ground the windows are. Walkers would never be able to get in through them,” Michonne was impressed. “And even though there's basement windows, they're all covered with these grates.”

Rick examined the grates,”They're pretty thick steel. They're all locked too. It would be pretty difficult for any people to penetrate the building. Not impossible but difficult. We'd still have to keep a careful watch.”

“You thinking what I'm thinking?” Michonne asked Rick with a hopeful grin.

“That we should stay here?” Rick looked around, up and down the street and at the building,“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well good,” Michonne beamed as she put her lips on Rick's,“because I like to read.”

…..

Dinner that night was beef flavored top ramen and dried peaches. They all had their fill. After dinner, Winnie ran through the building exploring every nook and cranny while Carl, Liv and Holly sat at one of the oak library tables and played Scrabble by candlelight. Rick was happy to overhear Carl arguing with Liv on whether “zooish” was a word or not. 

“It's nice to see them doing something normal,” Michonne said to Rick.

“Yeah, normal is always nice these days. I still can't wait til things get downright boring,” Rick replied.

As soon as her turn at the game was over, Liv walked over to Rick and Michonne with a case,”I have a surprise for you two,” she said as she laid the case on the table in front of the sofa they were sitting on,”Go ahead, open it.”

Michonne leaned forward and opened the case. It was a record player, “Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed,”I haven't played music on one of these since I was a kid!”

Liv walked away and returned moments later with two crates. They were full of albums, “There's more upstairs – a ton actually. These are just my favorites. It's got a cord but it runs on batteries too. Every Friday, me and Holly play albums and guess what day it is?”

“You've been keeping track of the days?” Rick asked surprised.

“Yep. It's Friday August 24, 2012,” Liv replied with certainty.

“Wow,” Michonne said,”It's been kind of cool at night lately so I wasn't even positive it was still summer.”

“Well anyhow, I thought you and Uncle Rick could play some music.”

“This is so great...I can't wait!” Michonne said looking at Liv,”Thanks!” 

“Sure!” Liv said with a smile as she returned to the Scrabble game.

“Alright,” Rick said shuffling through the crate,”we're using batteries so we're going to have to be real picky about what we play.” He pulled out an album, “Do you like the Eagles?”

A disapproving look appeared on Michonne's face,”Do I look like an Eagles fan?”

“Hey I'm trying not to judge any books by their covers,” Rick chuckled.

Michonne pulled an album out,”Bob Marley...yes! Do you like Bob Marley?”

This time Rick displayed the rejecting look,”Do I seem like a Bob Marley fan?”

“Well if you're not, you should be!” Michonne said with conviction as she put the album back.  
“Alright, do you like Led Zepplin,” Rick asked pulling out another album.

“Yeah I like 'em alright but it's like you said, we have to be extremely picky with our battery power,” Michonne said seriously. “What about Queen?”

“A little too theatrical for my taste.”

“Fair enough.” Michonne pulled out another, “Okay, you have to like Stevie Wonder,” she said staring Rick down.

Rick shrugged, “He's okay.”

“Did you seriously just describe Stevie Wonder as 'okay'?” Michonne frowned, “I can't believe I trust my life to someone who just described Stevie Wonder as 'okay'.”

Rick laughed again,“Well do you like Johnny Cash?”

“Exactly how old are you?” Michonne poked fun at Rick.

“I'll be forty next month. How old are you?”

“Thirty-five.”

“Hmmm. Thirty-five and you still haven't figured out how good Johnny Cash is? I can't believe I'm in love with a woman who doesn't like Johnny Cash.”

“Maybe I didn't realize until tonight, just how different we are.”

“Does that bother you?” Rick said putting the albums down on the table and looking at Michonne, all kidding aside.

Michonne laced her fingers between Rick's and looked at him with tenderness and devotion, “Of course not. I like that we're different. If we were the same, I'd like that too. It's you I love Rick, not the silly little things that make us compatible or not compatible.” Michonne put her head on his shoulder, “Life is much bigger than that now. Love is much bigger than that.”

“How do you always know the right thing to say?”

“If you stick around, I promise that won't always be the case.” Michonne said.

“Oh I'm gonna stick around.” Rick put his arms around her and kissed her.

Michonne kissed him back but then pushed him away,“Before there's anymore kissing, we have to find something we can agree on,” Michonne told him as she pulled out another album. “How about Elvis?”

“Yeah, I love Elvis,” Rick declared.

“You're just saying that so we can make-out.”

“I would do that, but I promise, I really do like Elvis.”

Michonne looked at the album cover: ELVIS: The 50 Greatest Hits. She slid the album out of the sleeve, “My grandma loved Elvis so I grew up listening to him all the time,” she put the album on to the turntable and placed the needle onto the grooves.

She leaned back into Rick and they sat comfortably on the sofa listening to Elvis serenade them, “This is nice,” Michonne said as put her hand on Rick's chest. 

“Yeah, it really is,” he replied while caressing her arm. “You were you close to your grandma?”

“Yeah. She was my daddy's mom. She lived with us 'til she died in '93. She was always baking something and tellin' us stories about when she was a little girl. Made sure we never missed church.”

“Sounds like my Grandma. Maybe all grandmas are the same,” Rick sneered. “Somethin' else I've always wondered: where did the name Michonne come from?” Rick asked curiously.

“It's French but I was named after my mom's best friend in Zimbabwe. She grew up with her there and they were really close. When my mom was 11, she left Zimbabwe to come to the U.S. She never saw her friend again and always missed her.”

“I love it. One of a kind...like you,” Rick looked at Michonne intently but with an intimate smile, “There's so much I want to know about you. I can't wait to hear it all.”

“You're pretty good at saying all the right things too,” she smiled

They sat on the sofa with their arms comfortably around each other when they heard the simple yet beautiful song. It had been years since Rick had heard the song, and as he listened, the poignancy of the lyrics struck him.

Wise men say, only fools rush in,  
But I can't help falling in love with you  
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?  
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows  
Surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be

Take my hand  
Take my whole life too  
For I can't help  
Falling in love with you

 

Michonne saw Rick reach into his pocket and pull something out, “Are you breaking out the breath mints so the make-out session can begin?”

“No, not breath mints,” Rick reached over and placed the item from his pocket into the palm of her hand. Michonne opened her hand and was awestruck when she saw the brilliant ruby and diamond ring staring back at her.

“What is this?” she asked with her mouth agape, already knowing the answer.

“I've had that in my pocket since right after I first told you I loved you,” Rick began. “I was looking for supplies at the cottage and for some reason, that didn't make much sense, I opened up a jewelry box and found that inside. When I saw it, I knew exactly why. I wanted it for you. I knew since the first time I told you I loved you and I heard you say it back to me, that I wanted you to be my wife. I just knew.”

Michonne sat starring at the ring in her hand. She finally looked up into Rick's eyes but she was speechless.

“You told me not to be afraid of loving you. And I'm not. For the first time in a real long time, I'm not really afraid of anything and I think it's because I have you with me,” Rick looked at the ring and held both her hands in his, “Michonne, be my wife. Marry me.”

…..

“Can't Help Falling In Love”  
Performed by Elvis Presley  
Written by Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore and George David Weiss


	13. Life Goes On

Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone else who has been taking the time to read my fic. This little story is near and dear to my heart and I'm so flattered that you all take precious moments away from your lives to see what's happening with these wonderful characters. Man I love The Walking Dead!! Love all of you too!! God bless!!

Life Goes On

It had been a good day of hunting for Daryl. Seven squirrels and two rabbits hung from his left shoulder. Daryl rarely returned from a hunt empty-handed and that day he had enough to feed the whole group for at least a few days.

Daryl Dixon had learned to hunt when he was eight years old. One day, after his mother died and Merle had moved onto greener pastures, he opened the pantry cabinet in the one-room shack he shared with his father. It was empty. His father laid drunk and passed out in the filthy recliner and Daryl made the mistake of waking him up to tell him he was hungry. His father beat him and then as if it was nothing, had another couple swigs of moonshine and passed out again. Daryl left the shack that day with a bloody nose, two black eyes and his pa's crossbow. He bagged himself a possum and cooked it over a fire he built himself. Daryl learned two very important lessons that day: not to piss off his pa when he was drunk, which was always, and that if he wanted to make it, he would have to take care of himself. From then on, Daryl assumed everyone was out to get him and pushed others away as hard as he had been pushed. And that's how life went on for Daryl.

Things were different with his family now. For starters, circumstances, not blood, was what brought them together. Blood didn't matter to him anymore. Since the world ended, Rick and Glenn had become the brothers he always needed to keep him in line and have his back. Michonne, Maggie and Sasha were sisters to him that he would throw himself in front of a train for. Carl and Judith were the children in his family. The ones whose lives and innocence Daryl would go to great lengths to protect. Hershel, now gone, was a father to him. A father that didn't get drunk and beat him or kick him out of the house when he was nine so he could shack up with the cashier from the Loaf N' Jug. Hershel was the father who imparted much-needed wisdom, restraint and even love onto Daryl.

Then their was Carol.

Carol Peletier was the same breed as Daryl Dixon. The family she was given hadn't been very kind to her either. Both of Carol's parents abused her. Her mother was heavy-handed and seemed to enjoy slapping young Carol around for any and all missteps she made. Her father used to tell her at least once a week how ugly and stupid she was, “No one is ever going to want to marry ugly, little Carol and your mom and me are going to be stuck with you 'til we die.”

When she finally met Ed in her early thirties, and he told her what a sweet, pretty thing she was, Carol was smitten. Ed's fraudulent charm swept her off her feet and they were married months after their first date. But it didn't take Carol long to see Ed's true colors when out of nowhere he slapped her hard across the face for answering the phone during dinner one evening. Carol couldn't believe that she had once again found herself being abused by another person she thought was supposed to love her. She was stuck though and figured she deserved the abuse anyway. She had gotten pregnant with Sophia just months after her and Ed's nuptials. She could have found some way to leave but was convinced that a stupid woman like her could never make it with a baby on her own. So she stayed, and that's how life went on for Carol.

Daryl and Carol were both miles from where they started in life. Almost unrecognizable. Since the end, Daryl found a selfless and compassionate nature deep within that he didn't know existed. And Carol found razor-sharp instincts and considerable strength and ingenuity that were never revealed to her before. 

When Daryl and Carol had first found each other, they immediately fell into their comfortable roles of abuser and abused. But it didn't take long for them to recognize that those roles were not serving them well and would eventually lead to their detriment. In a matter of months, Carol and Daryl had become closer with each other than they had ever become with anyone else. There was no definition to their relationship. Carol could be motherly to Daryl in one instance and then brazenly flirtatious with him the next. Daryl was fiercely protective of Carol and always making sure she was okay with whatever tragedy had just befallen them. They had an intimate relationship that even those in their group couldn't quite put their finger on. They started to heal the other's wounds from the past and now began to rely on each other. And that's how life went on for the two of them.

“Dinner's here y'all!” Daryl announced to everyone as he strode up to their camp, "We're gonna eat good t'night!”

“I got all the fixins for chili,”Carol said as she helped Daryl unstring the squirrels and rabbits, "glad it's not gonna be vegetarian chili.”

“Hey Noah, you know how to skin a squirrel?” Daryl asked the teenager.

“Uhhh, no,”

“Well it's about time ya learned.” As Noah begin the unappealing task of helping Daryl skin and gut squirrels, the rest of the group performed their individual chores around camp. Bob and Glenn gathered wood and started a fire while Carol and Maggie began to prepare the evening meal. Sasha sat in a folding, camp chair with Judith on her lap. She blew raspberries on her arms and neck making Judith giggle.

Carol poked her head out from the near new 34' Forrester motor home they found the day before, “Hurry up with that meat boys!”

“It's comin'! This kid's gotta quit bein' afraid of gettin' his hands dirty,” Daryl replied.

As they sat around the campfire that night, they talked quietly and ate. It was a miracle that they had managed to find each other after the Governor's onslaught and the subsequent fall of the prison. Although surviving the attack and then reuniting was a victory, celebration was not in order. Those who had survived had done so at a cost. 

Sasha was grieving the loss of her big brother, Tyrese while Maggie was grieving the loss of her little sister, Beth. They both died heroically but that did little to comfort them.

Sasha continued to hold Judith close to her, carefully feeding her small bites of the squirrel chile from the bowl they shared. She had become a surrogate mother to the precious toddler over the last two weeks. The others happily took turns caring for and holding Judith but it was Sasha that usually fed, changed and slept with her. Sasha loved and cherished the little girl. After all, her brother had given his life for her.

While nearly everyone else scattered, Tyrese made his way back into the cell block to look for anyone who might need his help. He found Judith Grimes strapped into her car seat screaming as the undead drew closer to her. He frantically bashed the corpses in the head one by one with his hammer. Covered in blood, he pulled the baby out of the car seat and rescued her. As he was running from the courtyard, Tyrese was shot in the stomach by one of the Governor's soldiers. 

But Tyrese was a warrior. He continued to run with Judith for 2 miles all while bleeding to death and in agony. Sasha barely heard the cries in the distance. She stopped Carol and Daryl in their tracks and the three of them turned back to follow the noise. They found Tyrese leaning against a tree barely holding onto little Judith. Sasha wept as she realized she only had minutes left with her brother. 

“Take care of her...maybe you can...you can find her family,” Tyrese said struggling to breathe. "If you can't find her family, be her family...promise me...” he said drifting away.

“I promise,” Sasha cried, "but don't leave me Ty! Don't leave me. Just stay...just a few more minutes...please, Ty. Please!!” Sasha held her brother in her arms as he died. From that day forward, she vowed to keep the promise she made to him, and protect Judith with her own life.

As Maggie stared at the flames in front of her she thought of Beth. Sweet, angelic Beth. 

Beth managed to make it out of the prison with a large group. She led the way, getting the older folks and kids to the safety of the well-supplied bus Rick and the others had prepared for a quick get-away. When Maggie, Glenn, Bob and Noah caught up to the bus the following day, it was obvious what had happened. Victor was behind the wheel and had somehow lost control. The bus was turned on its side. When they saw the blood and gore on and around the bus, they ascertained that a herd came by and fed on the passengers, including Beth. Glenn pulled a hysterical Maggie away from the bus but she broke free from his grip. She had to see Beth for herself. 

Maggie wished she had let Glenn stop her but she didn't. She found Beth on the bus, snarling and snatching at her. Her blonde ponytail sticky and soiled with blood. Maggie screamed in terror as she looked down at her little sister, her insides hanging out and her entire arm consumed to the bone. Glenn ran to her putting himself between them, then driving his knife into Beth's skull. 

No matter where Maggie looked, she saw Beth's bloody face. No matter how hard she tried to picture the face of her bright-eyed, smiling sister with her swinging, blonde ponytail it was the dead, snarling face that appeared in her mind. Between losing her father one day and her sister the next, Maggie decided she no longer wanted to live. Glenn knew what a dark and delicate place his wife was in and didn't leave her side once. 

“Maggie, you have to eat,” Glenn pleaded.

“I know,” Maggie said in a vacant tone, still staring at the fire. She felt Glenn staring at here and she spoke again, "and I know what you're thinkin'. You think I'm gonna kill myself, right?” she said, finally looking at him.

Glenn fidgeted, "I don't know. No one would blame you if that thought had crossed your mind.”

“Well I'm not going to, okay?” she stated adamantly but with tears in her eyes. "Truth is, I wish I were dead right now – I swear I do, but I'm not gonna put you through the same grief I'm feelin'.”

Glenn put his forehead to hers and held her gently in his arms. Glenn wanted to reassure her and tell her everything was going to be fine. He wanted to tell her how strong she was and that life would go on but he couldn't. Instead, Glenn just looked her in the eyes and said, "I love you Maggie. I can't make it without you.” 

Glenn placed his hand on her stomach, "This little one can't make it without you either so please, eat.” Maggie reluctantly complied and ate her dinner through the tears.

…..

 

The new motor home was almost as big as they came but it was a tight fit for seven adults and a baby. In the new world, however, these accommodations were luxurious. As the others slept, Carol lay awake on the soft mattress and remembered one time on the road, before they found the prison, sleeping at a campground. Their group of 9 was running from a herd of twenty or thirty and they ducked into a bathroom stall with a single pit toilet. It was secure and that's where they slept that night. Carl gagged then vomited which started a disgusting chain reaction. Yes, the motor home was the Ritz Carlton compared to that night and many others.

Still, Carol couldn't sleep. She heard Daryl's footsteps on the roof of the motor home. Daryl liked to keep watch more than sleeping. He took a 3 to 4 hour shift every single night. Carol stopped questioning how he managed to get by on just 3 or 4 hours of sleep a day. She knew Daryl wasn't typical in any way and she grew to appreciate and even love all his quirks.

Carol pulled the down comforter off and stepped out of the bed. She quietly tiptoed through the motor home and went outside. She climbed to the roof of the RV announcing herself in a whisper, "It's me Daryl. Don't shoot an arrow through my head.”

“Why ain't you sleepin'?”

“I was too comfortable,” she joked, "the mattress is too soft and doesn't smell bad – woke me right up.”

Daryl scoffed,”I know whatcha mean. No matter where we are I like sleepin' on the ground. Guess old habits die hard.”

“So you think Rick, Michonne and Carl will actually be in Waycross?”

“Yeah. Waycross ain't that far from where he left the note. Guess it depends too if they're on foot or not. Now that we got this ride, we should be able to make it there by tomorrow,” Daryl looked into Carol's melancholy eyes and sensed something was on her mind, "What's wrong?”

“Nothing,”she replied, "Everything. I'm just thinking about Hershel and Beth and Tyrese...the others from the prison. I can't believe they're gone. You see someone everyday and then they're just gone,” Carol closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Yeah, life's a bitch and then you die. Truer now more than ever.”

”I kind of do this snowball thing...happens every time. I get sad about Hershel and the others and next thing you know, I'm thinking about Sophia. How I lost her,” Carol paused and looked up at the clear star-strewn sky. "Then I start thinking about how weak I was. How I wasn't even strong enough to go out and look for her and that's probably the reason she's dead now. Then I start believing the things my daddy and Ed used to tell me. How stupid and useless I am.”

“Hey, that ain't you. If you were weak once, you ain't anymore.”

“I know that. I do. It pisses me off that their voices are in my head still telling me that. I just wish I was this strong when Sophia needed me.” Carol's head dropped and more tears fell, "I'll be alright.”

Daryl wrapped his arm around her and kissed her on the top of her head, "Yeah, I know you will.” 

“Who's up there?” Daryl released his grip on Carol upon hearing the unfamiliar voice. He put his crossbow up to his shoulder and looked down from the motor home. Carol's gun was drawn and her flashlight shone on the faces of four men and two women.

“Who the hell are you?” Daryl said in a harsh and serious tone.

“We're friends,” the man said as he lowered his weapon and raised his free hand. He signaled to the others with him to lower their weapons also. "My name is Sergeant Abraham Ford. My trusted companions here are Morgan, Rosita, Eugene, Lee and Tara. Happy to meet you fine folks!”


	14. The Last Morning

The Last Morning

Daryl and Carol kept their weapons pointed at the strangers,”What do you want?” Daryl barked.

A tall, well-built, black man stepped forward and spoke anxiously,”Hey, we don't wanna start any trouble. I'm Lee. We're lookin' for my little girl, Clementine. She went missing earlier tonight. You seen her?”

“No,” Carol replied.”How old is she?”

“She's 10.” Lee answered.

Glenn and Bob exited the RV with their guns drawn.

“Hey, hey, hey friends! We're not gonna hurt you,” said another man with a bow staff, “We're just lookin' for one of our own.”

“We ain't too trusting of strangers these days,” Daryl chimed in.

“Well listen son, we don't need for you to trust us,” Abraham said adamantly.”We're not gonna waste time tryin' to win a congeniality prize with you folks. If you don't know where Clementine is, we need to get gone and find her.”

“Sounds like a plan, Sarg,” Daryl retorted with his crossbow still raised,”y'all best be on your way then!”

The six newcomers started to walk away except for the husky man named Eugene,”Wait,” he said,”how do we know Clementine isn't here? Maybe she's inside that recreational vehicle.”

“She's not,” Bob answered.

“Well we're not a very trusting bunch either,” said the petite, dark-haired Rosita,”let us look inside.”

“You have got to be kidding,” Glenn said,”none of you are stepping one foot inside there.”

“Maybe you aren't as friendly as we first thought,” Abraham said raising his gun back up towards Glenn and Bob,”in fact you're growing more suspicious by the second. Now were not leaving until we're sure that girl's not here.”

“Y'all need to get the hell outta here before I put an arrow through yr eye socket,” he said looking directly at Abraham.

“Well that there would be a big mistake seein' as we got more fire power than you,” Abraham exclaimed.

“We can see who has more fire power if you wanna try someth...”

“Stop!!” Carol unflinchingly ordered the bickering men,”stop right this minute! No one here is going to prove how much fire power they have.” Carol promptly holstered her gun and climbed down the ladder on the back of the RV. She walked directly up to Abraham and extended her hand,”I'm Carol.”

Abraham, surprised by her authoritative but cordial demeanor, took Carols hand and shook it,”Ma'am.”

“I want all of you to listen to me before this escalates any further,” Carol stated looking each of them in the eyes.“Now we don't have your little girl but since you don't trust us, we're at an impasse. What's your name again?” she asked looking at one of the young women.

“Tara.”

“Great. Tara, I'm going to go inside the motor home and tell the rest of my friends what's going on. Then you're going to leave your weapons here with...” she paused looking at the man with the kind eyes and the bow staff.

“Morgan,” he replied holding Carol's intense stare with his own.

“Morgan, great. You'll leave your weapons with Morgan and then I'm going to let you look inside the motor home for the little girl. You can open every cabinet and turn over every mattress and cushion. You won't find her in there but then you'll know we're telling the truth.”

“We ain't lettin' her in there!”

“Quiet Daryl. We are going to let her in there,” Carol answered sternly.

“What makes you think we're going to let her go in there?” Abraham argued.

“Well if you don't like this idea, then feel free to blow each other to hell,” Carol said with biting sarcasm.

“I'll do it. I'll go in,” Tara declared,“it's my choice and I'll do it.”

Carol opened the door to the RV and explained quickly to Sasha, Maggie and Noah what was happening. Judith, awoken by the commotion, began to fuss.

Tara handed her gun and knife to Morgan and put her hands up to indicate she had no other weapons. 

“Do you mind if I frisk you?” Carol said in a firm yet friendly voice.

“Knock yourself out,” Tara replied. Carol proceeded to frisk Tara and then cautiously let her enter the RV. Carol watched her as she looked thoroughly through the inside of the large motor home.

Outside, everyone had their weapons lowered but on the ready. They waited in awkward silence until Eugene spoke to Glenn and Bob,”It's been unseasonably cool in the evenings, don't you think? The days have been real scorchers but at night I have to put on each one my layers just to keep from going into a state of hypothermia.”

“Shut up, Eugene,” Rosita said rolling her eyes at him. Eugene obeyed and stopped talking.

Moments later, Tara exited the RV and walked towards her group,”She's not in there.”

“Are you sure?” Lee said dejectedly,”You looked everywhere?”

“I did and I'm sure,” Tara replied with disappointment, rubbing Lee's back. “I'm sorry Lee.”

“Satisfied?” Glenn asked.

“No!” Lee spoke up, looking at Glenn with contempt,”I'm not satisfied! My little girl is missing!”

Glenn was embarrassed by the insensitivity of his brash words.

“Come on let's go. We'll find her,” Morgan said taking Lee's arm and guiding him away from the camp. The newcomers turned around and began to walk away with an air of hopelessness.

“Wait,” Carol said,”don't leave.” She exchanged unsure glances with the Bob, Glenn and Daryl,”We're going to help you look for her.”

…..

“Right before bed, Clem said she was going to use the bathroom,” Lee explained to their new companions, on the verge of tears,”Maybe I shoulda gone with her but I never do. I mean, she's ten and doesn't want me to stay with her while she's using the bathroom. Besides, Clem is a tough little girl. I've seen her take down walkers twice her size. She's smart and knows how to take care of herself,” Lee said, continuing to defend his actions.

“No one's blaming you Lee,” Tara reassured him. 

“Somebody took her!” Lee said adamantly.

“Why do you think that?” Glenn asked.

“It's the only explanation for her disappearing into thin air,” Lee answered.”There were plenty of trees right near us – she wouldn't have gone more than 20 or 30 feet from us just to go to the bathroom. She knows better.”

“We know it wasn't a walker that got her,”Abraham said with certainty.”If a walker had got her we would have seen it or found it feeding. They don't drag their prey off.”

“And we didn't hear her scream. If a walker got her, she woulda screamed for help,” Lee said.  
“And I swear, I felt like someone was watching us,” Rosita added.

“Yeah, Rosita said that and I told her she was being paranoid,” Abraham said sheepishly. “I heard rustling a couple a times but didn't see anything. Figured it was an animal.”

“How far is your camp?” Carol asked.

“Just a couple miles south of here,” Morgan answered.

“It'll be dawn in another hour. We're going to gather what we need and leave as soon as it's light enough that we're not tripping around in the dark.” She looked Daryl in the eye,“Daryl here is the best tracker in the state of Georgia and you'd be wise to trust him to lead the search.”

“Thank you,” Lee said, finally breaking down into a mess of tears,”thank you all so much.”

“We're going to find her, Lee,” Rosita comforted him.

“Don't say that,” Carol said looking at Rosita,“we may not find her. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything and we're not going to make you any promises. But we are going to do everything we can to help you find your little girl.”

…..

 

The sound of chirping birds was almost deafening as Carol, Daryl, Glenn and Bob walked in the crisp morning air with Abraham's group. “Thanks for volunteering me to lead the search,” Daryl said to Carol with annoyance.

“You would have volunteered yourself in another two seconds,” Carol replied looking ahead into the woods they were trekking through.“And if you hadn't, Glenn or Bob would have. That's still who we are.”

“We're out here riskin' our lives for strangers and for a little girl we probably ain't gonna find.”

“What are you doing Daryl?”

“What are you talkin' about?”

“You know what I'm talking about. You think because we couldn't find Sophia, that we're wasting our time looking for Clementine,” Carol said matter of factly.“You're going easy on yourself...you're setting yourself up for failure so that it won't matter to you if we don't find her.”

Daryl said nothing as if his silence would be a denial. He knew that wouldn't work with Carol though.“So what if I am?” he asked rhetorically.

“You were just telling me a few hours ago that I'm not the person I used to be. I'm not weak like I used to be,” Carol stopped walking and grabbed his arm,”Well the same goes for you. You didn't care about anybody for a long time. You didn't have anybody to care about, right? Well you do now. You have people you love and that love you back. You have a family so quit acting like you're still alone. Acting like you don't care about anybody.”

“What do you know?” Daryl yelled as he began walking again,“I cared about Beth...Tyrese and Hershel. I cared about Sophia and look at all the good it did!”

“Yeah, they're all gone. My heart breaks every day about it. But it doesn't mean I stopped caring about the people still here. I'm still here Daryl. I'm here because of you. Because you cared about me and risked your life for me. Am I a waste of time? Are we just wasting our time going to Waycross to look for Rick and Michonne and Carl? Why don't we just give up! Just roll over and die!” Carol began to cry. Daryl saw her crying but kept walking ahead. He didn't get far before he stopped in his tracks. He did an about face and walked back to Carol.

“Okay, you're right. It's easier to just stop carin' sometimes,” Carol continued to cry into her hands,”I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry.” He took Carol's face in his hands and looked deeply into her tear-soaked eyes,“I do care. I care about you and I'm sorry. We're gonna find this girl,” he took her hand and pulled her forward,“let's go.”

…..

 

“Someone was walkin' through here in the last day,” Daryl said with confidence,”this deer trail meets up with the one that leads away from where y'all were camping. It leads into those hills less than a mile up – good place for someone to set up their camp. ”

“You sure?” Lee asked,”I mean I don't want to seem ungrateful but I also don't want to walk any more miles in the wrong direction.”

“I'm not sure if your girl's there but I'm sure of everything else I said,” Daryl answered.

“Daryl's got good instincts,” Glenn added,”and if he's says that this is the direction we should head, I'd listen to him.”

“I trust you,” Lee said with unease,“I don't really have any other choice.”

“Heads up guys,” Rosita said calmly,“there's a herd approaching.” They all stopped and looked in the direction where Rosita was pointing. Sure enough, at least 15 or 20 walkers were making there way towards them.

“Should we take them out or outrun them?” Glenn asked the others.

“Outrun them,” Daryl answered. “Let's double time it on this trail and make our way to those hills. Follow my lead and do what I do. And keep quiet.”

The group of 10 ran swiftly and quietly on the trail. They came within 50 yards of where they were instructed to go when Abraham signaled them to stop.

“Someone's here,” he whispered,“you smell that smoke?”

“Yeah,” Daryl replied decidedly walking a few steps ahead, “and now I see it.”

“Daryl, come with me and we'll scout out their camp. The rest of you stay here. Keep watch for anyone from their group and that herd. Eyes open and stay quiet.”

Daryl and Abraham moved towards the point where the smoke came from. They came to a camp with two tents and a small pop up camper. There were two middle-aged men sitting in chairs around the campfire trying to start the fire back up from the previous night's embers. 

“What's our move, Sarg?” Daryl whispered, keeping his eyes focused on the men. 

“Until we know how many others are in those tents and that camper, we wait.”

“Well that herd ain't far behind,” Daryl said,”you sure waitin's a good idea?”

“We're not gonna rush this. If the herd gets here, we'll deal with it.”

“Maybe the herd comin' ain't a bad idea. It'll drive them out of their tents – cause some confusion.”

“I don't want to bring hellfire and a horde of flesh-eating monsters down on these people. They might not be the the ones who took Clem. Or Clem could be down there herself and I don't wanna put her life at risk.”

“She's down there...I know it. And if she's down there, her life's already at risk.”

Abraham stared ahead and contemplated the idea, “Alright,” he said hesitantly, “we'll try it your way.”

They made their way back to the others, “How far off are them walkers,” Daryl asked as he approached Carol.

“Probably about 50 yards,” Carol replied. 

“Listen up everyone,” Abraham directed the others, “that herd is approaching and we're going to let them. Daryl, Morgan and me are going to lead them towards the camp. The rest of you are gonna make your way to the other side of their camp. Once the walkers stir things up at their camp, you all are going to watch and wait. Be ready to come in from the other side, if you have to.”

“We're going to lead the walkers to these people while they're sleeping?” Tara asked in outrage, “What if they're not the ones that took Clementine?”

“That herd was coming this direction anyway,” Rosita said. “At least now we'll be here too to help kill them.”

“And if they are the ones that took your little girl, who cares,” Carol said in an ice-cold tone.

“We're wastin' time ya'll. If we're gonna do this, let's move!” Daryl commanded.

Daryl, Abraham and Morgan ran back towards the herd while the others did as they were instructed. The three men approached the walkers and stood in front of them. The rotting corpses were riled up and reaching for them as they led them towards the camp. Before they reached the camp, Daryl, Abraham and Morgan quietly ducked around some large rocks and made their way towards the rest of the group.

The ravenous walkers looked at the strangers at the campfire and stumbled towards them.

“Walkers!! Walkers!!” one of the men yelled.

The other man ran towards the camper and swung the door open, “Mary, wake up! There's walkers here. Get your gun.”

“We have to keep this herd under control,” Morgan said. “We need to take some of them out!”

Staying out of sight Daryl shot three walkers with his trusted crossbow. Morgan came up behind one and smashed it in the head expertly with his bow staff. Then another. After thinning out the mob of corpses, they stayed out of sight and watched the strangers do battle.

In the camp, chaos erupted. An older, athletic man with a baseball bat ran out of a tent and bashed the heads in of two walkers, one right after the other. The woman, Mary, came out of the camper shooting more of the dead ones in the head. The two men from the campfire were fighting the herd off, one with a pistol and the other with a machete as yet another man and woman came out of the other tent. The man had an AR15 and the woman, a bat. The woman with the bat was immediately taken to the ground and torn apart by three hungry walkers.

The other survivors fought the herd off one by one. As they were distracted with the battle, a little girl ran out of the camper and away from the bloodshed.

“It's Clem!!” Lee said to the others as he watched her run unknowingly towards him. She nearly crashed into him as he scooped her up in his arms with ease.

“Lee!!” Clementine cried, wrapping her small arms around his neck. “I thought I'd never see you again!!”

“Oh baby doll, I'd cross a thousand rivers to come and get you!” Lee exclaimed. “You okay? They hurt you?” Lee asked her with concern.

“No, they didn't hurt me. They took me while I was going to the bathroom last night. The lady and the man kept telling me that they were my mom and dad now. They said I looked like their little girl. Her name was Jenny and they said that she died and that they wanted me to be Jenny now. I told them my name was Clementine but they kept calling me Jenny. I was scared Lee. I didn't like them. Thank you for coming back for me!” she said, desperately clinging to him.

“Oh Clem,” he said continuing to hug her, “I thought I'd lost you...”

“What are you doing with my little girl?!?” Mary yelled with her gun pointed at Lee.

“Drop your weapon!” Abraham yelled.

“Give me back my daughter or I'll execute every last one of you!” she screamed insanely as her friends came to her side with their weapons pointed at them as well.

“This is my little girl and you're crazy if you think you'll ever lay another hand on her!” Lee yelled back, with his old and new allies now backing him up with their weapons pointed in the opposite direction.

“Listen, we're not gonna hurt you people as long as you give my wife and I our daughter back,” another man said cooly pointing his gun at no one in particular, “if you don't, it's not going to end well for you.”

“That's where you're mistaken,” Abraham said, “we're leaving – with the girl. Next move you make is going to determine whether or not this morning will be your last.”

“This is your last warning!” Mary shouted. “Put the girl down and walk away!”

No one moved and the standoff continued. Without warning, Mary fired her weapon and shot Tara squarely in the head. Tara's body crumpled to the ground.

“Nooo!!” Abraham yelled, opening fire on Mary and her husband. They fell dead to the ground as their friends began to shoot.

Lee dropped to the ground shielding Clementine's body from the flying bullets while Morgan tackled Eugene protecting him as well.

Daryl, Glenn, Carol, Bob, Abraham and Rosita all opened fire on the remaining three. Before the men collapsed, they fired off more rounds, landing one through Bob's arm and grazing Glenn's cheek. 

The bloodbath was over. They all stood still for a moment, surveying the damage done. Rosita ran to Bob wrapping his arm with a bandana while Carol came to Glenn's aid putting pressure on his face. Morgan and Daryl walked through the camp crushing and stabbing the skulls of the strangers that had just tried to kill them. Lee stood back comforting and reassuring Clem.

Eugene walked over to Tara and knelt down next to her lifeless body. He pulled out a rag and poured water from his canteen on it. He gently cleaned the blood off her face. “I really liked Tara,” he said as he picked her body up in his arms and began to walk away. “I'm going to bury her by that pond over there. I think she'll like it there.”


	15. The Deep End

Michonne sat starring at the ring in her hand while her mind went in a dozen different directions. She finally looked up into Rick's face but was speechless.

“You told me not to be afraid of loving you. And I'm not. For the first time in a very long time, I'm not really afraid of anything and I think it's because I have you with me,” Rick looked at the ring and held both her hands in his, “Michonne, be my wife. Marry me.”

“I...uh, I don't know what to say...” Michonne replied still stunned by the request, her mind and heart still racing.

“What do you mean you don't know what to say?” Rick asked her confused.

“Rick we've been a couple for three days. You're moving fast.”

“I mean to move fast. You know how life works now. Look, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure,” Rick let go of her hands and looked away humbled and hurt, “but maybe I'm the only one that's sure about us.”

“No that's not it. I am sure about us. I just...” she stopped talking, unsure of what to even say. Michonne's confusion about the situation surprised even her.

“It was stupid of me to ask? What was I thinking?”

“I don't know, that you love me and that you're ready,” she said. “Look, marriage is serious to me – not something you just jump into.”

“You think I'm not taking this seriously?” Rick asked, feeling condescended and wounded more and more by each one of her words, “You think I'm some naive kid that doesn't know what it takes to make a marriage work?”

“I didn't say that,” Michonne said defending herself.

Michonne and Rick sat on the sofa but were now turned away from each other. The distance between them had never felt wider. They were out of sync for the first since their first few weeks at the prison and the despondent and awkward mood weighed heavily on them both. They sat in silence until Michonne finally spoke.

“Were you and Lori happy?” she said finally looking at him.

The sound of her voice brought him back to the reality of his love for her but her question was one he didn't want to answer. His hesitation was obvious. He had never talked with Michonne about Lori other than about the details of her death.

“For a long time we were happy and then for a long time we weren't,” he replied honestly but concisely.

“Why were you happy and then what was it that made you stop being happy?”  
Rick felt like he was in some twisted therapy session but he knew her questions were perfectly legitimate. He didn't want to answer her queries but the respect he had for Michonne compelled him, “I dunno. When we were happy it was probably because things were easy. Loving each other was easy. We were naive. We saw each other through rose-colored glasses. She was perfect and probably thought I was too.”

“And then?”

“We grew apart. Same thing that happens in lots of marriages I suppose,” Rick answered looking away again and running his fingers through his hair, visibly stressed. “She said I closed myself off to her. Then she became cold and critical. I felt like I couldn't do anything right...so yeah, I got even more distant.” The confessions of all that went wrong in his marriage grew more painful as he spoke but disclosing it to Michonne got easier. The events, and subsequent emotions flowed more easily out of his mouth and onto her empathetic ears.

“Then after the turn, she thought I was dead,” Rick continued. “She took up with my partner – my best friend – Shane. He got Lori and Carl out of danger. He saved them and then they were together. I was in a coma and they were playin' house. I didn't...I didn't even know if Judith was mine,” he revealed looking down with shame.

“Then I found them. I found Lori and Carl and we were together again. I think we were just so happy to have found each other that we forgot about all our problems in the past. But not for long. All those problems we had surfaced again. As quickly as we fell back in love, we fell back out. We were cruel to each other.” Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and held back tears, “Then she was gone. I never made things right with her. I wanted to. I was waiting...I don't know what for. It was stupid to wait because I never got a chance.”

Michonne reached up to his face and pulled his gaze onto hers, comforting him with the love in her eyes, “I'm sorry.”

“Why does this feel like I'm losing you?”

“You're not losing me, Rick. You won't lose me,” Michonne said emphatically. She leaned into him and he held her tightly closing his eyes. Michone spoke again, “You asked me to marry you and I didn't say no.”

“Why didn't you say yes?” This time it was Michonne's turn to be on the receiving end of the difficult questions. She didn't answer immediately.

“Mike and I weren't happy together,” she confessed. “We had more bad years together than good but we stuck it out too. We just didn't see eye to eye on things.”

“What things?”

“We really didn't look at anything the same way. But the one that broke my heart the most was that he didn't share my faith.” Michonne expounded,” Mike hated everything...hated his life. And he hated that I didn't hate my life. He was sick with depression...and always angry. He didn't have hope or faith in anything and those were the best things I had. I wanted to live it out...raise Andre up with it. He resented it though. He resented me having peace in my life when he didn't.”  
“Do you think I don't have faith?”

“I don't know. Do you?”

“I don't know either,” Rick answered staring ahead at nothing. 

“Don't you think you should know? We're facing death every day.”

“I used to believe in God. I was raised Baptist. One time I knew all those Bible stories but at some point, they all became fairy tales. Not really useful for a sheriff's deputy and definitely not useful now.”

“It's not about stories. It's about believing in something bigger than yourself. It's about knowing that when it's over here, my faith in the Lord will bring me to something better, much better.”

Rick stared ahead, contemplating but saying nothing. Michonne looked down, “You think that sounds crazy, don't you? That I sound crazy?”

“No. You don't sound crazy,” Rick answered, “Is that why you didn't say yes? Because I don't have the same faith that you do?”

“I don't know. Maybe.” She cocked her head and gave Rick a questioning look, “Did you just expect me to throw my arms around you and say yes to marriage with out thinking these kinds of things through?”

“Yeah, I think I did,” he chuckled, then looked away with a sheepish grin on his face, knowing just how right she was. He turned back to face her,“The way you've made me feel the last few days...I feel like I'm in a dream. Like I'm walking on air. You make me feel like I can do anything. Right now this second, I'm ready to go all in. Give you my heart...everything. I guess I thought you were ready to jump in at the deep end with me.”

“I want to jump. I want to give it all to you too...I do. I just want you to know exactly what I'm giving you. You said you want to know everything about me – well my faith in God is a big part of me. I don't think I would have made it this far without it. I know I couldn't have gotten through Andre's death.” Michonne held onto him and began to cry softly, “Knowing I'll see him again, brings me peace...hope.”

“Tell me more about Andre,” Rick said as he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

The tears continued but Michonne's smile returned to her face, “Oh he was perfect!” she beamed. “He was trouble but he had me wrapped around his finger the same way I had my daddy wrapped around mine. Every part of my life before was disciplined and regimented and no nonsense. I was in charge. But not with him...with him I let everything else go. I broke all the stupid rules I set for myself. We were so happy together. Even though we had Mike, it was really just me and Andre. Mike was a good dad and loved him but Andre and I were two peas in a pod. He was so affectionate. Always wanted to crawl into my lap. Always wanted me to read one more book. Always wanted to sleep in our bed. He'd kiss me twenty times a day and say, 'Love you momma!' That's what he called me. Momma...never mommy,” the tears fell from her eyes and down the sides of her face. “I felt most like myself when I was with him. I loved being his momma more than anything. Oh God...I miss him...” she begin to weep without restraint. As Rick held her, he could feel her tears soaking through his shirt and onto his chest. He could feel the agony radiating from her. It was sharp and grim. Rick felt broken for the woman he loved and felt the need to do anything to assuage her pain and soothe her. He stroked her back lovingly and kissed her head. She clung to him and took in the comfort he offered. 

Minutes later, Michonne wiped her eyes on the back of her hand and finally began to regain her composure, “Thank you Rick...for listening to me...comforting me. For asking about my baby. I'm so glad I have you,” she grasped onto him even tighter, “you make me feel safe...loved.” 

“That's because you are. I'd do anything for you...anything,” he said. “I'm so grateful that you came into my life. I need you. I want to be your husband. I want you to be my wife. I could pretend that I don't want that as much as I do but I'm not going to,” Rick said to her, “but if you're not ready for that, I'll wait. If you don't want that, I guess I'll take whatever part you will give me.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I want you...I want to be your wife. Yes to you. Yes to Carl. Yes to everything. Yes, Rick, I'll marry you.”

“Do you mean it?” Rick asked with surprise.

“You know me, Rick. I don't say things I don't mean.” Michonne brought her legs onto the sofa and knelt next to him, “Where's the ring?” she asked unwaveringly as she put her hands on his chest.

“It's still in my hand,” he said as he opened his fist and showed it to Michonne again. 

“It might sound silly, but I want a ceremony, okay?” she stated more than asked.

“You can have anything you want,” Rick said with an appeasing smile.

Michonne put her left hand in his and he anxiously began to slip the gold heirloom band onto her ring finger. The ring made it halfway down when Rick paused and looked up from her hand into her beautiful, brown eyes, “I mean this, Michonne. I mean it forever.”

Michonne tilted her head and gazed back into his eyes gently, “I know you do.” Rick slid the ring all the way down her finger. Michonne held her hand out and looked at the diamonds and ruby shimmering on her finger. She smiled then inhaled and exhaled slowly, “This is real.” 

“Yeah, it's real,” Rick said before wrapping one hand around her neck and the other around her waist pulling her in closer. She moved slowly against him inching her lips towards his, feeling his warm, sweet breath on her mouth before their lips connected, passionately but unhurried. 

As they held on to one another, their feelings had never been more certain. Their unwavering love and devotion held them together throughout the night as the peace they felt lulled them to sleep in each other's arms, once again.


	16. Forever

Forever

“You've been acting weird all morning,” Carl said looking at his dad as he transferred oatmeal from the pot into 6 bowls. “What's going on?”

“Let's get everyone around the table for breakfast and we'll talk about it then,” Rick said smirking at his son. Rick grabbed four of the bowls and walked from their kitchen into the expanse of the library. He set the bowls on a large oak table. Carl followed juggling two more bowls, a box of raisins, sugar and a pitcher of milk that had been powdered 5 minutes earlier.

“Breakfast everyone!” Carl yelled as he set the contents from his hands on the table. He set one bowl on the floor and the sound brought Winnie running from the spot she had taken on the sofa. Winnie didn't need to be called twice. She ran to her bowl of oatmeal and scarfed it down with excitement before anyone else even got to the table.

Michonne, Liv and Holly exited from the room behind the front desk. They squinted when the bright morning sun shined into their eyes from the windows on the east side of the building. The three women were dressed and ready for the day. 

Michonne blissfully recalled the days of lounging around the house on Saturdays barefoot and in her pajamas. She worked hard all week but on Saturdays when there was no occasion to venture outside, she loved being in her pajama pants and tank tops from the time she awoke to the time she went back to bed.

Although they had found relative safety many times, they never had the luxury of even wearing pajamas. They all generally stayed dressed and ready for anything at a moments notice. She couldn't picture a time even once seeing Rick without his boots. They were always on his feet as an extension of his legs. Michonne missed walking around barefoot. She shook the frivolous thought from her head and sat down at the table. She was too happy to dwell on silly things she missed from her old life. Today felt like the start of something new and wonderful and that was her focus.

“Good morning Carl. Winnie,” Michonne said in a cheerful tone, scratching Winnie behind her ears. Winnie sat on the floor and placed her right paw on Michonne's thigh pleading with her eyes for whatever was on the table in front of her. Michonne glanced down at the empty bowl on the floor, “I think you already had your breakfast Winnie, but nice try.”

Rick sat down next to her at the table. She leaned over towards him and kissed him with a punch-drunk look on her face. He kissed her back and smiled, dazed himself. For just a second, they forgot there were other people at the table besides the two of them. 

The milk, raisins and sugar were passed around the table and everyone began to eat. “These raisins are hard as a rock,” Liv said pulling her teeth apart slowly and laughing.

“Sorry,” Carl said, laughing himself.

“Well I'm the one who thought that they were worth taking, so I'm sorry,” Liv poured the raisins out of the box and they fell onto the table in a loud clump.”

“Don't break the table!” Carl joked. “Here, give 'em to me. Winnie will eat them I bet.” Winnie ran to Carl at the sound of her name and waited patiently for whatever he had to offer.

“No!” Holly exclaimed. “Raisins are toxic to dogs.”

“Seriously?” Carl asked. “Hmm, I didn't know that. Holly saved your life Winnie.” Winnie slid down to the floor, disappointed that there was nothing for her.

The jovial group finished their breakfast with light-hearted conversation when Rick finally sat up straight and cleared his throat, “Alright everyone, this is going to be a big weekend,” he announced, “and we have a lot of work to do today. I want to check the perimeter again for any weak spots and secure them if needed. Then I want go on a water run. We're going to need three times the water you used before, now that we're here.” 

“We should be able to do that faster with the bike trailer, but a car or truck would be even better,” Michonne said, then looked at Liv, “is there a working car around?”

“None of the cars I've tried have worked but it could just be dead batteries or something else simple. I don't know anything about cars. I guess I could have visited the automotive section of the library but I'm not really good with stuff like that.”

“We'll just use the bikes today and then maybe on Monday we can work on getting one or two cars working,” Michonne said nodding to Rick.

“That's good. Liv, you and me can make the water run. Michonne, Carl, while we're gone, you two can scavenge from some of the houses nearby. Liv, I want you to sketch a map of Waycross. I want you to lay out where everything is, landmarks, houses you've already hit, the farmhouse you go to for water and so on. You think you can do that?”

“Yeah sure, I can do that,” Liv replied.

“Why are you in such a hurry to do all this today, Dad?” Carl inquired.

“If we're going to stay here, we need to get things in place. Get the pantry stocked...find more batteries, weapons, meds. It'd be good to have a water supply that will last longer than a few days. There's something else,” Rick and Michonne couldn't contain the suspicious grins on their faces any longer, “tomorrow...” Rick began then looked at her again, “tomorrow, Michonne and I are getting married.”

“What?!?” Carl asked, stunned by the announcement. “Are you serious?”

“Of course we're serious,” Michonne said to Carl, trying to gauge his reaction.

Carl looked from Michonne to his dad and then back to Michonne again, “I can't believe this,” he said as he got up from his chair. He walked over to Michonne and threw his arms around her neck and squeezed. She closed her eyes and held him tightly. He pulled away from her warm and loving embrace and looked her in the face, “Almost since the day I met you, you've been family to us. Now tomorrow it'll be official,” he said hugging her again.

Michonne let out a sigh of relief and smiled at Carl. Her eyes were filled with tears at the loving and welcoming sentiment.

Carl stepped over to his dad and extended his right hand out to him with a mature smile on his face, “I knew I was going to have to watch you two kids,” he joked.

“Get over here wiseguy,” Rick chuckled pulling his son in for a hearty hug and patting him on the back.

“Congratulations!” Liv finally said walking over to Michonne and Rick, nudging Holly to follow, “I'm so happy for you both!” she said hugging them each. Even Holly approached them with a congratulatory smile and shy hug.

“So, we have a lot to do to get ready,” Michonne stated to the teens exuberantly, “let's get to it!”

…..

While Rick and Liv rode their bikes the mile and a half to the farmhouse where Liv gathered water, Michonne and Carl prepared themselves to scour the surrounding area for food and other supplies. The two of them were about to leave when Michonne approached Holly sitting at a table reading Of Mice and Men, “Great book!” Michonne said, “John Steinbeck was one of the best American authors.”

“Yeah, I just finished The Grapes of Wrath and I really liked it so I thought I'd read this one next. Liv says this one is better,” Holly said with excitement as she talked about her favorite, and really only pastime. 

“Hey Holly, why don't you come out with us today?”

“No, I can't,” she replied curtly and with disappointment in herself.

“I know you don't want to but yes, you can,” Michonne retorted.

“No...really I can't,” she argued. “The last time I tried, I had a panic attack and almost passed out.” The anxiety of even talking about leaving the library was making Holly look sick.

“I've had panic attacks before. They suck,” Michonne replied. “I'll tell you what, how about you walk up to the roof with us. You'll be perfectly safe up there and you won't have to step one foot out of the library.

“I don't know if I...”

“Come on Holly,” Carl said reaching his hand out to her with a smile, “if you get too scared, I'll walk you back down.”

“But I haven't been outside in months,” she continued to protest.

“Then it's seriously about time,” Michonne said sternly.

“You promise just to the roof?” Holly asked in her hushed voice, realizing that she was outnumbered and that they weren't going to let up.

“Promise,” Carl said with his hand still extended. Holly placed her bookmark between the pages of her book and set it down on the table. With trepidation in her eyes, she took Carl's hand and stood up from her chair.

“I'll take Winnie through the front door and meet you on the steps,” Michonne said to Carl then looked at Holly, “you're gonna be fine Holly.”

“See you in a minute,” Carl said as he and Holly made their way to the maintenance closet upstairs. “So, I'm going to give you my binoculars and a walkie talkie. You can stay up on the roof and keep a lookout. We're going north up Dublin Street so you can keep an eye on us. Don't use the walkies unless it's an emergency so we don't waste the batteries. Sound good?”

“Okay,” she said in her mousy voice.

They went inside the closet and and climbed up the ladder. The sun and warmth hit Holly when she opened the roof hatch. She climbed out onto the roof squinting,“I can't believe how long I've stayed in this building,” she said regretfully.

“I get it,” Carl replied, “it's really scary out here sometimes.”

“Have you killed any of them?”

“Yeah. Lots.”

“How many?”

“I don't know. Maybe 30 or 40. I don't know.”

“What's it like? Is it horrible? It must be.” 

“It was hard the first few times but not really anymore. They're already gone so it's not like killing a real person,” Carl explained. “If I was like that, I would want someone to put me out of my misery.”

“The last time I went on a run, Liv's dad and brother died. Walkers were everywhere and I just stood there and watched it happen. I couldn't do anything.” Holly looked up at Carl with an embarrassing realization, “Oh my gosh, they were your cousin and uncle too. I'm so stupid...I didn't really think of it that way. I'm sorry about what happened to them.” Holly shuffled nervously and put her hands in her pockets, “Liv told me about your mom and your sister...I'm sorry about that too.”

“It's okay. Everybody alive has family that didn't make it.” Carl looked down at his shoes and started mindlessly kicking at the gravel before he looked back at her, “I heard about your family too.”

“Liv is my family,” she said quickly.

“No, I mean your family...” Carl stopped. He sensed that she didn't want to talk about the people she'd lost. “Now that you're with us, that means we're your family too. Forever.”

“For however long that is,” she said looking down.

“It might be a lot longer than you think. My dad and Michonne are getting married because they know they have a future. We all do, it just takes more work than before.”

“Yeah. I guess we made it this far,” she said with her voice trailing off and smiling.

“Exactly!” Carl exclaimed patting her on the arm. “Well I better get down there. Michonne's waiting for me. Are you going to be alright up here?”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, “Yeah. The sun feels good.” Carl started walking away from her, “Hey Carl!” she said then stopped unsure of what to say next, “I'll...I'll see you in a little bit.”

“Yeah,” Carl smiled and stepped down the ladder and off the roof.

…..

“Now that is a nice house!” Michonne exclaimed gawking at the Queen Anne Victorian mansion across the street from the house they just left.

“Really? You don't seem like the type to like a fancy old Victorian,” Carl said surprised,“I took you more for a city person. You know, like a cool urban loft with brick and exposed duct work.”

“And how do you know so much about architecture?” Michonne asked quite surprised herself.

“My mom watched like every single episode of House Hunters ever made,” Carl explained. “I've always liked houses and buildings. All the little details and differences. I used to want to be an architect when I grew up. Guess that's kinda pointless now,” he said as they approached the iron gate surrounding the mansion. Michonne opened the gate and they stepped inside the front yard and walked up the wide path leading to the large, embellished front porch. 

“No it's not pointless. There's still things to build.”

“Just walls.”

“Hey, it's not gonna be like this forever,” Michonne reassured him.

“That's funny. I was having this conversation with Holly before we left. I told her the same thing.”

“Well you're a smart kid. You know we can make a good life for ourselves.”

“I know but everything is different now. I won't ever go to college or have a normal job. I'm not complaining it's just the way it is. I mean we're the lucky ones that get to live.”

Michonne banged on the ornate, purple front door of the house then stood back and waited. “And that's what we're going to do. Live. Not just survive but live. It's a right of passage for every kid to dream about their future and I'm not gonna let you give that up. We've already given up enough.”

“So you think I can still be an astronaut or a pro basketball player someday?” Carl asked with wide eyes and thick sarcasm.

A broad smirk appeared on Michonne's face as she teasingly smacked his arm with the back of her hand, “Very funny!” Michonne unsheathed her sword and turned the doorknob, “Follow my lead. This is a big house so let's clear the rooms together.” Carl drew his pistol and followed her into the parlor. 

“Seriously though, I get what you're saying about still having dreams about my future and you're right.

“I want us to make a life somewhere. Maybe here, maybe somewhere else. But I want to stop running and be happy.”

“Well you're off to a good start with my dad,” he said grinning. 

“I'm in love with your dad but it's not just about him, you know? You and him are kind of a packaged deal.”

“So I guess you're stuck with me then,” Carl joked.

Michonne knew Carl's words were made in jest but she looked him in the eye seriously, “Hey, I'm really glad that you're part of the package. I mean, do you think your dad's going to read comics and play all those stupid games with me?” she chuckled.

“Probably not.” 

Carl looked up at Michonne and was filled with awe. From the moment she had come into their lives, he had admired her. She was out and out the coolest person he had ever known. Wielding a sword and riding a horse. Of course it was more than that though. She was brave and fearless but she was also relatable and accessible. He always felt like she was really there with him. Present. She could always bring him out of a bad mood and make him happy. She made him feel important and loved. Since meeting, their bond had only gotten stronger. He had always thought of her as a friend but over the last few weeks, he began to see her as more than that.

“Did you know that when you came to the prison, it was just a couple days after my mom died?”

“I knew it had happened recently but I guess I didn't know that it had just been a few days.”

“I miss my mom,” Carl said plainly. “It's been almost a year and I still can't believe she's gone sometimes.”

“My mom's been gone for five years and I still miss her. You don't get over losing the people you really love.”

“Kind of a weird coincidence that you came into our lives right when we lost her.”

“Yeah, that is weird but I don't really believe in coincidences,” she said as she opened and closed a closet door and moved into the dining room.

“Well whatever or whoever brought you to us, I'm glad it happened.”

“Me too,” she said stopping what she was doing. Michonne looked at Carl, eased her shoulders down and smiled at him gently, “couldn't be happier.”

“Alright, enough mushy stuff. Let's finish clearing this place and see what kind of fancy loot we can find!”

…..

The long day was finally coming to an end and the group was relaxed and relieved. Their individual missions were a success and they were now able to retreat to the safety and shelter of the Waycross Public Library and the company of their loved ones. 

The group had gathered an abundance of supplies. There was water enough to last at least four days and food enough for three times that long, if they rationed carefully. Carl skillfully located a shotgun with the 4 boxes of ammunition hidden in a trunk in the mansion's attic. They also returned with ibuprofen, vitamins, a few batteries and much to Michonne's contentment, several packages of wet wipes. 

Earlier that day while Carl rummaged and searched for the necessities, Michonne went on her own covert operations in each of the houses they scavenged. Now back at the library, she quietly went into an unused conference room and lit two candles. She opened a clean garbage bag and removed the contents. She laid a white chiffon dress and blue ballet flats on the table along with a pair of dark blue jeans and a white button up shirt. She looked at the attire laid out for tomorrows ceremony, and felt the butterflies in her stomach. Michonne took a few deep breaths and smiled. By this time tomorrow, Rick Grimes would be her husband.


	17. Liv

***IMPORTANT A/N***  
I really have to apologize but I made a careless mistake. I forgot to publish a chapter. It was meant to go in between chapters 11 and 12 ( if you should want to go back and read it in context) and I just somehow skipped publishing it. I considered not publishing it so there would be no confusion but decided it was a big part of the story about Rick's niece and how they found their way to the library. Anyhow, here it is and again I apologize. God bless!!!

 

Liv

“Liv!!”Rick ran towards Liv and threw his arms around her,”I can't believe it! You're here! You're alive! Thank God you're alive!!”  
”What are you doing here?” Liv looked confused. She held tightly to her uncle and sobbed,”Where have you been?”  
“We've been with a big group but we got separated. We've been lots of places...but we're here now,” Rick closed his eyes and continued to hold his niece,”I can't believe we found you here.”  
“Carl!” Liv grabbed her cousin and hugged him excitedly,”I can't believe it! Look at you! You're a man! Last time I saw you, you were a kid.”  
“I'm so happy to see you!” Carl said as he hugged her back exuberantly.  
Liv reached out to shake Michonne's hand,”I'm Liv. I'm really glad to meet you!” Liv held Michonne's hand with a huge grin on her face and Michonne switched the handshake to a hug,”I'm Michonne. I'm glad to meet you too!”  
”What happened to everyone? Where's yr' mom?” Rick asked impatiently.  
The smile from Liv's face quickly faded,”She's gone. She died right in the beginning. It was Dad, Mikey and me for a long time. Then we found Holly. She was all by herself. Her entire family died and she was alone. We took her in. We stayed at our house for a long time. We kept it secure and were doing real good for a while. We had a system and we we were doing good.  
“Seven months ago, Dad, Mikey and Holly went out on a run. Usually all of us would go but I had a migraine that day and stayed back,” Liv began to cry,”A few hours later, they came back. Dad and Mikey were both bitten. Dad just had a bite on his arm but...” she burst into tears,”Mikey was torn apart. He was already dead when Dad brought him back. Dad told me to hang on as long as I could. He told us we should leave Waycross and try to find some other people. He said that he loved me and he was sorry. He closed himself and Mikey in the bedroom and that was the last time we saw them.”  
”I'm so sorry Liv,” Rick held Liv and tried his best to console her,“You made it though. You made it and you'll be with us now.”  
“I'm just so happy to see you. I would have been happy to see anyone but I'm so happy that I still have family,” Liv continued to cry going back and forth between tears of grief and tears of joy.  
“Where have you been staying?” Michonne asked.  
“We've been at the library,”she answered,”We couldn't leave...I wanted to try but Holly was too scared. She's only thirteen. Ever since that happened to Dad and Mikey, she doesn't want to go outside at all. The library's been good to us though. It's pretty secure and I've read 142 books in the last seven months,” she halfheartedly chuckled.  
“I can't believe you've been doing alright by yourselves for this long,” Carl told her with admiration.  
“I credit that to high school track and field. Before the end of the world I ran track. I took second in the state,” she beamed,”Who knew how valuable a skill running would be. Also, Dad did a good job with us. He taught us to fish and hunt before all this even happened.  
“I was out today checking our snares when I saw the bikes parked in front of my house. I snuck into the neighbor's house and backyard and saw through their fence that it was you,” she began to cry the tears of joy again,”I've seen other people pass through town but I haven't known if I could trust them or not. I'm so happy to see you...” Rick and Carl hugged her again. The intensity of the emotional reunion was staggering. Once again Rick was on the verge of losing hope and then he found his niece. Liv had long ago given up hope of ever seeing family again but it happened. It was a miracle.  
…..  
Rick and Michonne sat on the Adirondack chairs on the back porch giving Liv some space as she said her final goodbyes to her dad and little brother. Liv sat down beside their grave and placed flowers around the cross.  
Michonne leaned over and put her head on Rick's shoulder,”She's an amazing girl. Smart. Strong. I can see why she made it. Your brother did a good job.”  
“Yeah, he did,” he said,”I wish I had made my way here sooner. Maybe I could have done something. I don't know, maybe Jeff and Mikey would still be here.”  
“Rick, you know better than to do that. We can't play that 'what if' game...you'll lose your mind. If you had come sooner, than who knows how that would have affected the rest of the group. All these decisions we make have ripple effects that are good and bad and you never know which one it's gonna be until you've already made the choice.”  
“I know, I know. You're right,” Rick kissed her on the forehead,”If I had come sooner, I probably would have never met you.”  
“You're here now - we're here now - and that's all that matters.”  
…..  
Liv grabbed her old bike out of the garage and the family of four and Winnie made their way to the Waycross Public Library. As they rode their bikes through Waycross, Michonne noticed that there were very few bodies around,”I haven't seen any walkers since we've been here. Why do you think that is?”  
“When it first happened,” Liv explained,”they told everyone to evacuate to Atlanta. My dad didn't want to though. He thought we'd fair better if we stayed in Waycross. There were a few people that stayed here but almost everyone else left. People leaving early on meant there was a lot of food left in the houses. Anyhow, it was a ghost town and I guess it's kinda stayed that way. There have been a lot of walkers that have come through town though. Seems like there's either big groups or just one or two together. I haven't seen very many at all over the last few months though. No big groups at all.”  
“Maybe this would be a good place to stay,” Michonne said to Rick.  
“You might be right,” he said looking at Michonne,”I know there is a gated community on the North side of town. Maybe we can check that out tomorrow and see if it could work.”  
They approached the steps to the library,“Tie Winnie up here and we'll come back around to get her in just a minute,” Liv told Carl. He did as she instructed and they followed Liv around to the side of the library. She pulled a ladder out from behind the bushes. She propped it against the building and climbed up to the roof. The others climbed up behind her.  
“We can leave through the front doors of the library but unless we want to leave them unlocked while we're out, this is how we get in and out,” Liv said.  
As soon as everyone was up, she pulled the ladder to the roof. She opened a hatch on the roof and climbed down the ladder into a maintenance closet. Rick drew his Colt Python and followed behind her with the others,”Will you please lock the roof hatch,” she asked Carl. Liv readied her baseball bat and opened the door leading into the library hallway.  
They trailed behind Liv as she navigated a dark hallway in the library. She walked up to an office and knocked on the door,”Holly it's Liv, open the door,” they could hear the door unlock and then open. Holly peered out of the crack,”Don't be afraid Holly. I have people with me... good people,” Holly reluctantly opened the door all the way.  
“Hi,” Holly said in a meek and frightened voice.  
“This is my family,” Rick, Michonne and Carl introduced themselves to Holly. Holly's skin was pail and her build was lanky and frail. She had her thin hair in a beanie and wore glasses with a small crack in them. She was dressed in sweats, an oversized t-shirt and Converse with holes in them. Holly was a pretty girl but overall didn't look well. She looked perpetually terrified and the three felt bad for her. They all wondered to themselves just how she had made it this long. There was no doubt that Liv and her family had saved her and that now Liv was the only one keeping her alive.  
Rick looked at his niece and felt such love and pride, as if she were his own daughter.  
…..  
…..  
Daryl walked up to the stop sign and pulled the note off that was tied to it. He opened it and read it,”Hey y'all get over here!” he shouted to Glenn, Maggie, Bob, Carol, Sasha and Noah. The six walked swiftly over to Daryl awaiting his next words,”It's a note from Rick!” He read it aloud:

To my friends from the prison, Rick here. I have Carl and  
Michonne with me. We are heading to my brother's hometown.  
I hope you remember the name. If you are finding this, I'm happy  
you made it and hope to see you again soon. Rick

“Does anyone remember the name of the town where Rick's brother lived?” Daryl asked.  
“Waycross,” Carol and Maggie replied in unison.  
“Well then that's where we're headed,” Glenn said as Judith squirmed in the baby backpack on his shoulders and pulled at his hair playfully,”C'mon let's move!”


	18. The Wedding Shower

The Wedding Shower

The songs the finches sang outside the window woke Rick up from his peaceful sleep. He opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. Despite the fact that the library floor was as hard as a rock and his back was sore, Rick felt energized and ecstatic for the day ahead. He looked up and to his left and saw Michonne lying on the sofa next to him and a smile widened on his face. She was asleep on her stomach with her arm lazily hanging from the sofa and resting on Rick's chest. Rick took her hand in his and held it in front of his face. He carefully studied the small details of her hand then methodically kissed each of her fingers. He sat up kneeling on the floor at her side and kissed her arm moving up towards her face. He nuzzled his scruffy beard into the nape of her neck then moved up and playfully brushed her ear with his lips.

“Michonne, wake up,” he whispered in her ear. Michonne groggily opened her eyes then rolled onto her side. The sight of Rick next to her brought looks of joy and exhilaration to her face. She stretched her arm up and yawned then draped her arm over his neck and pulled him in closer for a kiss. 

“You ready for our big day?” Rick asked smiling.

“Excited? Yes. Ready? No,” she replied as she sat up. A strange feeling swept over Michonne as she looked around the bright and airy main floor of the library. “Today feels so different.”

“Well it is different. We're getting married today, remember?” Rick chuckled. 

“Yeah I know but it's more than that. The fact that we're getting married feels so good that it makes everything else feel good and...right. It feels like I'm a normal bride waking up on her wedding day. Like maybe if I walked outside right now, there would be people walking down the street and buses and cars driving by. Is that weird or does that make sense?”

“I think I get it. Nothing much has felt normal lately and there ain't much to get excited about anymore. But this,” he said as he kissed her on the lips, “this is exciting. It makes everything feel exciting. Right?”

“Yeah,” she stated simply in a dreamy voice as she gazed into his eyes. She shook her head, forcing herself out of her daze, and stood up. “Well let's make some breakfast and get the kids up.”

“You're the boss,” Rick said standing up.

“And don't you forget it!” she replied patting him on the behind playfully.

They walked into the kitchen and started shuffling through the cabinets searching for something to prepare. Rick pulled out pancake mix that only required water. He also pulled out a precious commodity, a bottle of pure maple syrup. “You get this on yesterday's run?” he asked.

“Sure did. And we better ration it well, so watch Carl with that sweet tooth of his,” she chuckled. “Hey,” she said casually, “After breakfast I'm going on another quick run.”

“What?” Rick asked with concern as he stopped to look at her, “What for? We just went out.”

“I want to go to the creek and take a bath. We don't have enough water to do that here.”

“That sounds cold,” Rick said.

“I'll manage,” she said wryly.

“Well if you get a bath on our wedding day, I get one too.”

“The groom isn't supposed to see the bride getting ready though,” she said grinning.

“I'm pretty sure there will be enough traditions broken at this wedding that it's not really gonna matter.”

“Okay, okay. You can come with me. Safety in numbers, right?”

“Right. Hey we could call this our wedding shower!” Rick said.

“Yeah,” Michonne replied, letting his terrible joke slide. “I guess we're gonna make a few new traditions then!”  
…..

“Michonne and I are going to the creek to get cleaned up. You guys gonna be alright?”

“Yeah we're good,” Carl answered on behalf of the three teens, all engrossed in their books.

“Remember, stay inside. Don't leave the building unless it's on fire,” Rick said half joking. 

“We'll be okay Uncle Rick...promise,” Liv reassured him.

“We won't be more than an hour. Keep the walkie close by on channel 7,” Rick instructed. 

Rick remembered leaving Carl with Lori's parents when he was two months old and Lori going through a litany of instructions for 20 minutes before Rick finally pulled her out the front door. Everything was different now and Rick couldn't help but worry about every detail of Carl and his other charge's safety.

“You got it,” Liv said.

“You ready?” Michonne asked walking into the room slinging her pack and her sword over her back.

“Yeah, let's go,” Rick said hesitantly as Michonne grabbed his hand and they made their way to the exit on the roof. 

They began walking towards the creek and away from the library. Rick looked over his shoulder several times. The third time Michonne placed her hand on his back, “They're fine, Rick. They're not leaving the building and they know how to take care of themselves.”

“I know, I know. It's just I'm starting to rethink both of us going out at the same time.”

“Do you want to go back?”

Rick stopped, turned towards the library and considered the idea. “I think I like the thought of the three of them being back at the library by themselves more than the thought of you being out here by yourself.”

“You know I'd be fine.”

“Nah, I'm not leavin' you out here alone,” Rick said as he started walking again, “besides, I gotta stop second guessing myself at every turn and trust my gut. I know my instincts aren't perfect but...”

“They've gotten us this far,” Michonne interupted. “Let's just be quick and get back.”

“Okay.”

“And dare I say, try to enjoy ourselves.”

“Yeah,” Rick said pulling her in quickly for a kiss, “let's definitely do that.”

Kettle Creek was less than a quarter mile behind the library but they walked a little further to an area without the cover from the trees and bushes that lined much of the water. They wanted clear sight lines in all directions if they were going to be in the water and vulnerable. Rick scanned the area to make sure there was nothing around or approaching.

Michonne began to undress. She stripped off all her clothes except for her black cotton bra, black low-cut, boyshorts and the bandage on her arm. She grabbed a bottle of shampoo from her pack and stepped towards the creek.

Rick, momentarily only preoccupied with their safety, finally turned around towards her just as she began to step into the clear, gurgling water. His mouth hung open as he saw the incredibly breathtaking and beautiful woman that would soon be his. 

One advantage of the apocalypse was that there was plenty of work, running and heavy lifting to keep you in good shape. On top of that, extra calories were few and far between. A lack of fast food and ice cream, plus lots of running tended to keep you fighting trim. This was certainly true of Michonne.

Rick stared at Michonne's toned but curvaceous body, her dark and glowing skin. He was stunned by how beautiful she was. She was a work of art. He had caught glimpses of her before, here and there, that's just how it is when you are with someone every moment of every day. Before today though, he always tried to respect her privacy and would look away. But now, knowing that this woman in front of him was to be his wife in a few hours, he reveled in her beauty and gazed at her lovingly and longingly.”

“Take a picture...it'll last longer!” she kidded.

“Sorry, I just haven't seen anything so...” he fumbled over his words, “trust me, if I had a camera, that's exactly what I'd be doin'” he kidded back as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

The late summer weather made the creek's water low but it was fortunately still flowing well enough to get the job done. Rick set his gun belt and machete down next to Michonne's sword on a large, flat rock jutting out of the water. He pulled off his boots, socks and jeans and stepped into the water. He sat down in the shallow creek and blew out through his mouth as the cool water enveloped his body.

“C'mon, it can't be as cold as you thought it would be?” Michonne said pouring shampoo into her hand and bringing it to her dread-locked hair.

“No, but it's not as warm as I'd like it to be,” he chuckled as he leaned all the way back into the water drenching his hair. As he sat back up, Michonne passed him the shampoo and Rick proceeded to wash his hair. He stood back up and scrubbed everywhere.

Michonne lathered the shampoo all over her body as well, scrubbing the dirt from the last week off, “Sorry I couldn't find any soap, just the shampoo,” she said as she began to shave her legs.

“Don't apologize, this is great!” he replied.

“Yeah, with the creek here, we pretty much have a bathtub right in our backyard. It is pretty great!” After she shaved, a task she hadn't done in two years, Michonne sidled up to Rick. She took the bottle of shampoo from his hand and poured it on to his muscular shoulders. She worked up a lather on his slim but toned back, massaging him and gently rubbing his neck. He turned around and reciprocated by scrubbing her back and shoulders. As he worked his way down her back towards her behind, he began kissing her neck.

“Hey now,” she said sternly, turning around and smiling, “it'll be Christmas morning before you know it. No trying to open the presents on Christmas Eve.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know but everybody likes to at least shake the box,” he said still inching his hands towards her backside.

“There will be plenty of time for that later,” she said pushing his hands away and grinning seductively.

The more she physically pulled herself from Rick and asked him to wait, the more alluring and desirable she became to him. However, Rick was putty in her hands and respected her far too much to push. “You're right,” he said putting his hands up in surrender and backing away from her, “we should hurry and get back anyhow.”

Michonne finished rinsing off and as she did, she thought back to the last proper bath she had. It was at the cottage right before the attack from Tom and his vile friends. She wanted to shake the thoughts of those animals from her head on this perfect day but instead, she looked at Rick with grateful eyes remembering how he had come to her rescue that night. How he risked his life, and Carl's, for hers. Rick could have played it safe and watched to see how the events of that night would play out. He could have stayed in his place and let the monsters have their way with her hoping that after they did, they would just move on and leave them all alone. He didn't though. Rick Grimes would rather die than let someone he loves be hurt. She fought back that night. She fought with all her strength and was proud of her valiant effort, but she doubted that she would have been able to escape that terror she faced if she was on her own. Rick had saved her.

Michonne watched Rick and knew just how blessed she was to have him. How blessed she was to have Carl. And now, God continued to grow their family with Liv and Holly. This expanding family was a tremendous responsibility but one she felt honored and privileged to take on.

Michonne walked back to Rick and slipped her hands around his waist and rested her head on his back. “I love you, Rick,” she said simply and sincerely. “You've done a real good job of always letting me know where you stand with me. I know how much you love me and I just want you to never doubt how much I love you too.” She tightened her grip and Rick held her hands on his chest.

“And I think you might just be the best thing that ever happened to me,” he said staring ahead.

“You ready to go back?” she asked running her fingers through his hair.

“Of course not but we should go anyway,” he snickered.

They stepped out of the water holding hands. Michonne reached into her pack, handed Rick a towel, then grabbed one for herself.

“You thought of everything.”

“I tried,” she said. “I brought some clean clothes too so we wouldn't have to put our dirty ones back on. 

“Wow. Thanks,” he said as he took the neatly folded jeans and t-shirt from her. Michonne slipped on a pair of leggings and an oversized, purple t-shirt then sat down to put on clean socks and her boots.

As she laced up and tied her boots, she heard a noise in the distance. A baby crying. 

“Did you hear that?” she anxiously asked Rick.

“Yeah, I heard it,” Rick said as he quickly pulled the t-shirt over his head and slipped his boots on.

“We have to check it out...I think it was a baby crying!” 

Rick and Michonne left all their belongings at the creek bank and grabbed only their weapons. Michonne threw her katana over her back then unsheathed it, sprinting towards the sound. Rick ran as he fastened his gun belt and holster to his waist. After his belt was secured, he pulled out his machete and followed right behind Michonne.

They looked in horror as dozens of walkers surrounded a group of people. Rick violently swung his machete into the heads of the walking dead. One after another they fell in front of him. Michonne swung her sword back and forth decapitating walkers efficiently and quickly. The two warriors didn't let up as they battled the horde of decomposed bodies. They made their way, slashing through the mob when they saw people.

“Whoa, whoa! Not dead!” Glenn shouted to Rick as he drove his knife into the temple of a walker. 

“Glenn?” Rick asked, barely able to believe his eyes.

“Rick!”

Rick watched as Michonne helped Daryl, Carol, Maggie, Bob and five other people he didn't recognize, put down the last of the walkers. 

After the commotion Rick and Michonne immediately went to their long-lost friends, pulling them into exuberant and heartfelt embraces. The elation they felt at the sight of the their family before them was unreal.

“We found one of yr' notes and Carol and Maggie remembered the town you said you wanted to go to. The town your family lived in,” Daryl said slapping Rick on the back. “It's good to seeya brother!”

“Man, it's good to see you too,” Rick said.

Then out of the corner of his eye, Rick saw Sasha, Noah and a young girl around 10-years-old, standing far from the group out of harms way. Sasha had a baby in her arms. The realization of who she was holding made Rick feel faint. 

Rick swallowed and couldn't speak. It was Judith. His precious daughter, Judith. He was stunned and overwhelmed as he stared at the baby he had already buried in his heart and mind...whose death he and his son had already mourned. Judith, back from the dead, was right in front of him. 

Rick walked as fast as his numb, unsteady legs could carry him towards Sasha. He dropped his machete on the ground and pulled his daughter from Sasha's arms. He held her close to his heart and smothered her little head with kisses as tears poured from his eyes in joy and disbelief. 

The others watched Rick and Judith in reverent silence. Even the strangers could acknowledge the depth of the reunion they were witnessing. Old and new family stood close by, taking in the transcendent moment, thankful for yet another miracle. They were together again.


	19. Together

Together

“Who found her?” Rick asked looking at his friends as he clung to his daughter.

“Tyrese got her out of the prison, but then he was shot. He got a few miles away when Sasha heard her crying. We found Tyrese and Judith together but he... he didn't make it,” Carol answered, her voice cracking.

Rick walked up to Sasha and put his free arm around her and pulled her into a hug, “I'm so sorry about Ty. I wish I could thank him for what he did. I'm in your debt for finding her and keeping her safe...thank you Sasha. Thank you.”

Sasha hung her head as tears rolled down her cheek, “All Ty wanted was for me to find you and to keep her safe. He'd be real happy that we got her back to you.”

“Well I'm grateful. And I'm happy. Not just to see Judith but to see all of you...my family,” Rick said looking at each one of them. He observed the group of strangers that had accompanied his friends. His eyes stopped on one of them, “Morgan? Morgan Jones?”

“Hello Rick,” Morgan said serenely, “I thought the reunion you just had with your little girl and the rest of your friends might be overwhelming enough without throwing myself into the mix.”

“Yeah, I guess we can only take in so much. It's really good to see you again.”

“It's good to see you too, Rick.” Morgan looked down and fidgeted with his staff. “I want you to know, I'm in a better place then I was last time we met.”

“Glad to hear that,” Rick said putting his hand on Morgan's shoulder and looking him in the eye.

A tall, brawny, red-headed man approached Rick and firmly extended his hand. He spoke as Rick reciprocated the handshake, “I'm Sargent Abraham Ford and these are my trusted companions, Rosita, Lee, Clementine and Eugene. Morgan you apparently already know.”

“Good to meet y'all.”

Michonne walked over from where she was standing with Maggie and Carol and raised her hand in a wave, “I'm Michonne. Nice to meet you.”

“Michonne and I have decided to try and make this place our home – at least for now. We've been staying at the library and it's secure. Now that y'all are here, it'll be even more secure - that is, if you wanna stay.”

They studied each other to try and get a read on what everyone was thinking.

Glenn looked at Maggie and then at Rick and Michonne, “If you say this place is home, then I think we should stay. Anybody else got any thoughts?”

After a moment of discussion, the weary group was united and all affirmed the decision to stay in Waycross.

The group began to walk to the library, on the lookout but chatting quietly. Glenn and Maggie followed in the motor home. Rick carried Judith in his arms and walked side by side with Michonne, ahead of the group. 

“How do you feel about this?” he asked her as he nodded towards Judith.

“How do I feel about Judith?” she asked in confusion. “How could I feel anything but happy for you, Rick? Happy for us?”

“I know you're happy,” Rick said, “but when you said you'd marry me, Judith wasn't part of this. She is now. How do you feel about being a mother again?”

Michonne walked in silence looking ahead. She felt foolish that she hadn't considered the implications of his reunion with Judith as it concerned her.

“Carl has good memories of his mom. He loved her...still does. Maybe someday he'll see you as his mom or maybe he won't – I don't know. I do know you and him have a real strong relationship that probably doesn't need a definition. But Judith,” he said looking at Michonne, “you'll be her momma. Not a good friend, not a step-mom, not a mother figure, her momma. If your going to be my wife, that means being her mom. I need it to mean that. I know that's a lot to throw at you.”

“After the world ended and I lost Andre,” Michonne began still staring ahead, “being a mom again never even crossed my mind.”

“You havin' second thoughts about all this?”

Michonne looked sharply at Rick, “No...of course not!”

“Well what is it then, Michonne?” he asked gently placing his hand on her back.

“I was Andre's momma and I failed him,” she quietly cried. “I guess I'm scared of failing again.”

Rick pulled her close to his side and kissed her forehead. “Michonne, there's not one person on the face of this earth that I trust more with my children's lives. If I didn't trust you to protect and love Judith, I wouldn't be askin' you to do it.”

Michonne stopped in her tracks. She turned towards Rick and held her arms out towards Judith. To Michonne's surprise, the little girl reached for her and eased comfortably into her arms. Tears rolled down Michonne's face as she caressed Judith's soft, wispy hair. She closed her eyes and put her cheek up against Judith's. She cooed as she pulled on one of Michonne's dread-locks. “I forgot what this feels like,” she said as she kissed her tiny hand.

As they approached the library, Michonne carried the baby naturally on her left hip and took Rick's hand in her right hand. She looked at Judith and said in the sweetest voice Rick had ever heard, “Hey Judy, you ready to go surprise your big brother?”

…..

Rick came into the library from the roof hatch and ran to the main floor excitedly.

Carl was slouched on the sofa with Winnie curled up next to him when he looked up, “Dad is everything okay?” he asked putting his book down.

“More than okay,” Rick said as he motioned for Carl to come with him. “Our people from the prison...they found us and they're here.”

“What?!” Carl shouted jumping to his feet.

Rick walked hastily towards the front door of the library, “Sasha, Glenn, Maggie, Carol, Daryl, Bob, Noah. They're all here. Come with me!”

Carl ran behind his father with Winnie trailing behind him. Liv and Holly dashed down the stairs from the upper level at the sound of the commotion.

“Carl, they have someone with them,” Rick said opening the door. Michonne stood at the top of the steps with Judith in her arms.

“Judith?” Carl said calmly, stunned by what he was seeing. “Judith!” he said again throwing his arms around her and Michonne, sandwiching the toddler in a hug. “I can't...I can't believe it! How?”

“Tyrese and Sasha found her. They saved her,” Rick informed his son. Michonne released Judith into Carl's arms. The poor little baby had been passed around from one set of crying arms to another all day but remained calm and content. Carl hugged his little sister and wept.

“C'mon in guys,” Rick finally motioned to the rest of the group as they shuffled in through the doors. The group entered the Waycross Public Library and surveyed their surroundings. After Carl had a few moments with his sister, his family from the prison approached him eagerly. The strangers and old friends introduced themselves to the others and smiles, hugs and handshakes were exchanged among all 19 of them - 20 if they counted Winnie. 

“This is so crazy you guys are all here!” Carl exclaimed still holding tightly to Judith. “And you're just in time for the wedding!”

“Wedding?” Maggie said with a look of confusion.

“Who's gettin' hitched?” Daryl asked.

“My dad and Michonne, who else would it be? Didn't they tell you?”

“We didn't tell 'em Carl...we were a little preoccupied,” Rick said to his son. Rick turned his head and addressed the group, “Yeah, Michonne and I are getting married today.”

Their friends erupted in cheers of congratulations and well wishes. Maggie and Sasha nearly tackled Michonne with hugs as they squealed girlishly. Glenn slapped Rick on the back with a sly grin.

“You dog!” Daryl said punching him in the arm. “I knew from way back when that you two had it for each other!”

“Well it would've been nice if you filled me in on that,” Rick said to his friend with a chuckle.

“What finally made ya come to your senses and ask her?” Daryl asked seriously. Everyone stopped chatting and laughing to listen to Rick's answer.

“After the prison, it was just Carl and the two of us,” Rick began, “it was a hard time and we got close. I saw things I never had time to notice before. What can I say...I fell in love and didn't want to waste a minute not bein' with her. It took some arm twisting but I got her to say yes to marryin' me.” Rick put his arm around Michonne and kissed her cheek. “We were gonna say our vows to each other today.”

“What do you mean you were?” Carol asked.

“Yeah, you two aren't gonna put it off just because you got a few wedding crashers, are you?” Glenn prodded.

“No way,” Michonne said. “you all being here makes it that much better. Our family, Judith...it's perfect and we're not waiting another day to do this.” Michonne teared up and smiled at everyone.

“Well now that we're all here, you won't mind waiting a few extra hours so we can do this wedding right?” Carol insisted.

Rick looked at Michonne, “Like I said before, you're the boss. You make the call.”

“This guy's a keeper,” Rosita said grinning at Michonne.

“If you all want to go to the trouble, I won't complain,” Michonne said looking at her friends. “Just as long as everyone is safe. I don't want anyone getting bit trying to get me wedding flowers.”

“We want to make this special for you. It ain't no trouble and we'll be careful,” Maggie said, touching Michonne's hand with a smile on her face. Glenn looked at Maggie. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her smile. It made him happy.

The reunion was a godsend. Glenn looked at the faces of everyone around him. The joy and smiles were abundant. Family, friends and even strangers were at ease and content. After many difficult journeys, trials and heartbreaks, they were safe. They were among loved ones. They were together.


	20. Flesh and Bone

Flesh and Bone

Most days since the end, were bad days. Considering what a bad day looked like before the apocalypse, it simply didn't compare to bad days after. Bad days were sickness, running, exhaustion and filth. Being miserably hot. Being miserably cold. Being tortured with perpetual hunger and thirst to the point of literal starvation and dehydration. And those were just the physical trials. Those who were “lucky” enough to have survived, struggled daily with the mental anguish. Depression, anxiety, despair, and a never-ending assortment of fears. Fear. That was the big one. Fear of starvation, fear of the dead, fear of the living. Fear of losing your humanity, fear of losing your life and most of all, fear of losing your loved ones.

Bad days were commonplace but they were just that; bad days. The dark days, while less frequent, looked like hell on earth. No one left alive was immune to these dark days. When things went from bad to worse, fears were actualized. You went from running from a person you deemed as a threat, to taking their life. You went from fearing that you would lose a loved one, to actually watching them be torn apart. While the dark days were not as typical, the effects lingered for months and years. A bad day could be forgotten but the darkest days haunted you and became a part of your soul's fabric forever.

Then there were the good days. These days were few and far between. The days where you found a shelter that actually did provide refuge. The feeling of fullness in your belly because the hunt provided a deer instead of a squirrel. A bath in a creek or finding a stash of comic books. Friendship and laughter. Glimpses of hope and tastes of happiness. The survivors each had a few handfuls of these good days to cherish.

As Rick and Michonne prepared for their wedding, they became anxious for something neither of them had experienced in two years. A perfect day. 

Perfect days were rare even before the turn but now, they were unheard of. They were something you only experienced perhaps in a daydream, but never in real life. Today however, was a perfect day.

The blissful couple were about to say their vows. They would pledge their lives and love eternally to one another. Their family would witness the joyous event. All that would have been good enough for what life looked like now, but it got even better. Rick had his baby girl back and Michonne was becoming a mother again. Life now, even life before, didn't get better than this.

Rick could not contain his smile as he got dressed for the imminent ceremony. As he slipped a crisp white shirt over his shoulders, he glanced down at a babbling Judith who was stacking a pile of old books up on the floor, “How you doin' sweetheart?” he said to the little girl. She knocked the stack of books over and squealed. 

“Yeah, I'm excited too,” Rick said as he finished buttoning his shirt. “Michonne, you ready?”

Michonne stepped out from behind a row of filing cabinets into the late afternoon light that shone through the windows of the office. Rick was taken aback. He placed his hands on his hips and widened his eyes. For the second time that day, he saw Michonne as he had never seen her before. First at the creek bathing, and now in her wedding dress.

Rick was accustomed to seeing her wearing her uniform of jeans, a tank top covered by her leather vest, combat boots and her katana slung over her shoulder. It was a look that he'd actually grown quite fond of. It solidified her warrior status and emitted an aura of strength that he admired to no end. This was different though. A stark contrast to the rugged and powerful look she normally displayed.

Rick had never seen her look so graceful and soft. The knee-length, white chiffon dress looked stunning on her. The strapless bust of the dress ruched then fell away, flowing from an empire waist. She wore white, open toed ballet flats adorned with small rhinestones. Her hair was piled neatly on her head in a loose bun with fresh, pink and purple Summer Phlox flowers fastened on one side.

“You look...you look beautiful,” Rick gasped.

“I'm pretty sure this was some 15-year-old girl's homecoming dress but I guess it works.”

“I swear I've never seen anything prettier than what I'm looking at right now.”

“Stop,” Michonne said rolling her eyes.

“Hey, let me compliment my fiancee on my wedding day. We don't get enough moments like these.”

“Okay. You're right,” Michonne finally succumbed. She smiled, spun around in her dress, and posed for Rick. “Happy?”

“Very happy,” Rick smiled back, grabbing her and kissing her.

“Last kiss before we're an old married couple,” she looked up and giggled. Michonne walked over to Judith and swooped her up from the floor. She dusted her little pink dress off and grabbed Rick's hand,“Let's do this!”

…..

Everyone had been bustling around since the arrival of the newcomers and their collective efforts were apparent. Unlike most other days, the hard work felt different. The joy of the reunion still lingered among the group and the excitement for the wedding had everyone eager to do their part to make the celebration feel as special as it was.

Liv took Sasha, Rosita, Holly and Clem to a house nearby that Liv said had a lot of nice clothes. It must have belonged to an affluent family because the trip scored them more clothes than if they had gone to Macy's. They all had an easy enough time finding something nice to wear except for Clem. But after hitting a few more houses, they managed to find clean clothes for everyone else in the group, even a frilly, little, pink dress for Judy. When the ladies returned, they distributed the clothes to everyone. They also raided a diner across the street from the library and recruited Morgan to help them bring back plates, bowls, glasses and silverware.

Carol and Maggie spent the afternoon preparing food. They made soup and baked three pies. They asked Abraham and Eugene to move some tables and chairs around to make one long banquet table for everyone to sit at in front of the fireplace. Carol decorated the long table with candles, twigs and wildflowers. The room looked like a grand dining hall in a castle.

Glenn and Bob went on another water run to the creek. They brought two large jugs back from the creek. Just enough for everyone to get cleaned up before the big night. The two men also worked on cleaning and making sure the oversized fireplace was in working condition. It was. They gathered wood and lit a large fire.

Daryl and Lee guided Carl and Noah on a hunting expedition. They, perhaps, had the most success of anyone. Noah spotted a hog in the woods half a mile from town. At first Daryl was envious that it was the kid and not him that found the hog but then, he was just happy at the thought of bacon and pork chops. Daryl brought it down in one shot and the four of them dragged it back. He showed the boys how to butcher the animal, “We're gonna have to rig up smoker or maybe a spit to put over the fireplace. There ain't enough time for that tonight though if we wanna have hog at this weddin'”

When Michonne, Rick and Judith finally exited their dressing room, they couldn't believe what their friends and family had put together for their special day. Maggie, dressed in a cotton, eyelet dress and cowboy boots, walked towards her friends with a smile on her face. She handed Michonne a bouquet of wildflowers, “What do ya think?”

“I can't believe it...it's incredible! You all did an amazing job!” Michonne's eyes scanned the room and then fell onto Rick. 

Rick gazed into the eyes of his beautiful bride, “I think we're ready to get married.” He walked towards the fireplace as everyone began to take their seats.

Michonne handed Judy off to Sasha and quickly searched the room for Carl. She walked up to him and grabbed his arm. “Carl, come with me for a second,” Michonne instructed the young man.

Carl followed Michonne as she walked behind a bookshelf, “What's up?”

Michonne looked at Carl, dressed in brown slacks and a blue button-up shirt. She noticed that someone had cut his hair. He had never looked more grown up. “Who cut your hair?”

“Holly did. Does it look stupid?”

“No, she did a real good job,” she said using her fingers to brush his hair away from his forehead. “You look so grown-up. I think we should send Daryl to her next.”

“Is that all you wanted?” Carl asked.

“No, of course not,” Michonne said still mussing with his hair. She stopped and looked at him seriously. “I was wondering if you would walk me down the aisle.”

“Me? Really?” Carl asked thoroughly surprised.

“Yeah, you,” Michonne said with confidence. “If my Daddy were here, I'd have him do it but he's not. If your dad and me really have your blessing, then there's no one else that I'd rather have do it.”

Carl stood tall then hugged her gently. He whispered in her ear, “I'd be happy to.”

Michonne watched Rick as he stood by the glowing fireplace waiting for her with a look of pure joy. She saw all her friends, new and old, standing on either side of her in two rows. A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at Judith resting in Sasha's arms. Liv placed the needle on an album and the music echoed through the room. Carl took Michonne's arm and led her down the aisle.

 

Nothing you can make that can't be made  
No one you can save that can't be saved  
Nothing you can do but you can  
Learn how to be you in time  
It's easy...

All you need is love  
All you need is love  
All you need is love, love  
Love is all you need...

Michonne's heart beat rapidly as Carl walked her towards Rick. When they reached him, Michonne turned towards Carl and kissed him on the cheek. She put her hands in Ricks and the two of them took a moment to silently take in all that was happening. Rick finally spoke up nervously. 

“I know this isn't a traditional wedding and I'm not real good at things like this, but there's things I want to say right now.” Rick cleared his throat, “We don't usually have days like this. It seems like we usually don't even get moments like this. But standing here in front of you, Michonne, and all of you, I know that we can. We can have these moments of joy. We can have peace. We can have hope. Standing here with this beautiful woman next to me and my family around me, I realize we can build something incredible. I want this to be the start.”

Michonne continued to hold Rick's hands in hers. She let out a deep breath and looked up into his eyes, “Rick, I look at you and I wonder just how it could be that in this world, I found you...how we found each other. I feel like in this dark cloud I see a rainbow appearing. I see the sun trying to break through the clouds. Before you, everything felt impossible. Life, happiness, family, they all seemed impossible. But now, it's not just a possibility – it's real. I feel it in my heart and in my soul and it feels so good.” Michonne wiped tears from her eyes and Rick handed her a small handkerchief. “As I stand before you, our children, our family and as I stand before God, I promise, that I will never leave your side. I promise with all my heart that I will take care of you and take care of your children no matter what it costs me. I promise to honor and cherish you when it's easy and to honor and cherish when it's not easy. I promise to you and before God, that from this day forward, I will love you until I draw my last breath.” Michonne opened her hand and took a ring out of it. With her hands shaking, she slipped it onto Rick's finger then pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed it, “I promise.”

Rick wiped a tear from Michonne's eye then spoke to her as he looked deeply into her eyes, “Michonne, I don't know what I did to deserve you. I don't why I'm so blessed to have you in the lives of my children – our children. With you, life feels perfect. Even this life, it feels perfect, because I have you by my side. I feel like I'm in a dream and I don't ever want to wake up. I hope I don't ever have to.” Rick let go of Michonne's hands and reached down to the hearth of the fireplace. He picked up a Bible and opened it up to a bookmarked page.

“You'd be real proud of me because I've been flippin through these pages and I found a few things I wanted to say to you. And because I'm not very good with words, these verses will be my vow to you Michonne:

'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.'

'Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. Thus may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me.'”

Tears poured from Michonne's eyes as Rick took a thin gold band out of his pocket. He slipped the band on her finger against the ruby and diamond ring. He touched her cheek, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” she replied.

“Well I guess that means y'all are married now! Kiss her so we can get the party started!” Daryl shouted. Everyone cheered and hollered as Rick put his arms around her waist and gently lifted her up to kiss her. Michonne wrapped her arms around his neck and met his lips with hers. Their first kiss as husband and wife was perfect. Their lips remained together kissing slowly and sweetly.

Rick finally put her down but the embrace continued. “We did it!” she said gazing up at him.

Carl walked towards his dad and Michonne, with Judith in his arms, and hugged them both. The four of them held onto each other, and the moment. Rick blissfully looked at his wife and kids, “Yeah, we did!”

 

“All You Need Is Love”  
Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney  
Performed by The Beatles  
The first passage is from Genesis 2:23-24 and the second passage is from Ruth 1: 16-17 from the Amplified Bible.


	21. It's A Wonderful Life

It's A Wonderful Life

Joyful laughter and chatter filled the air. The Waycross Public Library, now transformed into the loveliest of wedding venues, was illuminated from the incandescent glow emitting from the massive fireplace. A large platter with meaty portions of hog was passed around the table. Wine was poured and toasts were made. It was a night of celebration that was well-deserved for not only Michonne and Rick, but for the entire group. The crowd of friends feasted and talked and as they did, the worries and despair of the last few weeks, months and years momentarily dissipated.

Daryl gnawed on a rib bone as he listened apathetically to Glenn, Maggie, Sasha and Rosita prattle on about their favorite movies. 

“Fight Club! Oh or maybe Goodfellas or Gladiator. Yeah those are my favorite,” Glenn stated.

“Why are all your favorite movies so violent,” Maggie asked. 

“Hello, I'm a man and besides, what do you think prepared me to be the bad-ass that stands before you today?” The ladies laughed.

Maggie looked at Sasha and Rosita, “What about you two? What are your favorite movies?”

“Beauty and the Beast and The Wizard of Oz, hands down,” Rosita answered.

“What are you, like ten?” Glenn jabbed.

Maggie slapped Glenn's arm, “Hey, don't make fun of her. I love those too. I'd have to say Back to the Future. I must have watched that 200 times growin' up. Sasha?”

“This is too easy. The best movie of all time is obviously The Shawshank Redemption,” Sasha stated casually. The friendly debate continued as they relaxed, ate peach pie and drank brandy by the fire.

Abraham, Bob and Lee were practically shouting about whose beloved basketball and football teams were better. Michonne could hear them yelling from the opposite end of the table. She laughed at the absurdity and irony of that conversation then wondered if there would ever be ever be another pro sports team in her lifetime.

Eugene droned on explaining to Carol and Morgan how easy it would be for them to make batteries if they simply invested the time.

“Well if you think about it, a battery is a galvanic cell. It's no more than an anode and a cathode separated by an electrolyte. On one side, you have mercuric oxide and graphite from something like brake pads. There is a cathode. There is a positive terminal...” Carol looked at Morgan and rolled her eyes, but Eugene continued, “...on the opposite side is our anode. Then you have zinc. It's what we find in our coins and anything galvanized. You get a sponge as an electrolyte...” More music began to play again from the record player. Morgan saw it as his chance for a getaway. 

“Eugene, I hate to interrupt you but I promised Carol that if there was more music at this wedding, I would dance with her. Until you get those batteries made, I'm going to have to take advantage of the battery power we have right now.” Morgan stood up and reached his hand down to Carol. The look of surprise on Carol's face was priceless, but she took his hand, stood up and walked away with Morgan. 

As Carol got up she nudged Maggie, “Get Glenn up here with you...I don't want to be the only one dancing!” Maggie complied and pulled Glenn to the dance floor. 

“Hey everyone, if I have to dance, I think everyone should,” Glenn said to his friends. Before long, almost everyone was on the dance floor in front of the fireplace. Noah asked Liv to dance, Rosita dragged Abraham up, Bob and Sasha danced and Clem was happily spun around by Lee. 

Holding Judith in her arms, Michonne stood up, “Your favorite ladies want to dance with their favorite guy.” Rick was not a dancer but he knew that the momentous occasion called for it. He was pretty sure the last time he danced was when Aunt Dorothy forced him to dance with her at Lori's cousin, Sarah's wedding. God only knew when the next opportunity for dancing would come. Rick stood up, feigning enthusiasm and took the hand of his new wife. They walked to where the others were and started to dance. After just a few steps, a genuine smile appeared on Rick's face and he couldn't help but enjoy himself. Michonne had a way of making everything better though. He held Judith in one arm and spun Michonne around with the other.

Carl walked up to the table where Daryl, Eugene and Holly sat. “Don't you guys dance?” He asked all three, although the question was really meant for Holly. 

Daryl scoffed, “Nope,” he said with casual arrogance as he tossed Winnie a bone and grabbed another rib.

“I do not,” Eugene replied in all seriousness. “My body has no rhythm and cannot attune itself to the beat in most music. Besides, I told Liv that I would take over her deejaying duties so she could dance.”

“Well make sure you play good stuff. What about you Holly?” Carl finally asked, addressing her specifically.

“No. I guess don't really know how,” she said.

“Well neither do I,” Carl stated as he extended his hand.

“I don't want to look stupid,” she said.

“Like I said, I don't know how to dance either. We can look stupid together,” he chuckled. Carl's hand was still extended but Holly didn't move, “C'mon, I let you cut my hair.”

“Alright but you have to promise not to laugh.” Holly stood up and straightened her tulle skirt and sleeveless, satin tank. She took Carl's hand and gave him a shy smile. “Beyond the Sea” by Bobby Darin echoed through the library. Carl took Holly's right hand into his left hand and put her left hand around his shoulder. Finally he placed his free hand around her waist. Holly trembled nervously. 

“Relax,” Carl said, “all you have to do is move from side to side a little to the rhythm of the music.”

“Hey, I thought you said you didn't know how to dance!” Holly said smacking his back playfully.

“I may have fibbed just a tiny bit,” Carl said grinning. “I just don't want you to be afraid of everything, including dancing.”

“I'm getting better.”

“I know you are,” Carl said to her in an encouraging voice. “I know you went out with all the girls today to find clothes.”

“It was just across the street,” she said in her mousy voice.

“Hey, that's a big deal,” Carl reassured her. “I'm proud of you for going across the street.”

“Well I wasn't going to wear sweatpants to a wedding.”

“You look really pretty,” Carl said.

“Thanks.”

“Maybe I can take you out again sometime this week and show you how to shoot the compound bow.”

“We'll see,” she said as the music continued.

“You know, the truth is, I don't really know how to dance. I asked Michonne to give me a quick lesson earlier today so that I could ask you to dance tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Carl said. This time the shyness was in his voice. “I like you Holly.”

“Maybe I like you too,” she said as they swayed to the music.

“Maybe???” 

“Alright, not maybe,” she leaned forward and quickly gave Carl a peck on the lips, then retreated smiling. “See, I'm not afraid of everything.” The two teens kept dancing and talking while exchanging puppy-dog eyes.

The rest of the group continued to dance also. “Dancing in the Moonlight” played next. The laughter and chatter remained on the dance floor and everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves.

“Thanks for saving me from Eugene's DIY battery sermon,” Carol said to Morgan.

“Me saving you? I was saving myself,” Morgan said solemnly, then smiled.

“I see how it is,” Carol retorted. “You know, I can't even remember the last time I danced. I think maybe it was at my middle school Valentine's Day dance.”

“You didn't dance at your wedding?”

“No, Ed and I just went down to the courthouse when we got married. We didn't have a wedding let alone dancing.”

“Well that's a shame. Dancing is one of the best feelings in the world,” he said looking into her eyes. “Jenny and me, we'd go dancing once a month or so. At first, I didn't want to go. I'd make excuses and say I didn't have time, but she didn't listen to my bull. She never did. She dragged me out anyway. After a while, I got the hang of it, it didn't feel so awkward or silly. Then I loved it. I loved just being with her and having something that was just about the two of us. She was so beautiful ” His voice started to crack, “I didn't realize until tonight how much I missed dancing. Haven't even thought about it since who knows when.” After a few moments of no conversation Morgan spoke again, “How long were you married.”

“Thirteen years.”

“Happily?”

“No, not at all but we'll save that horror story for another night,” she grinned. 

“I'm sorry. That was too personal...I shouldn't have asked,” Morgan looked away with embarrassment.

“There's no need to apologize,” Carol assured him. “Nowadays, I'd prefer to just skip over the smalltalk and get right to the meaty stuff.”

“I'll remember that.”

“And for whatever reason, whether it was to save me or yourself, I'm glad you asked me to dance.”

“Me too,” he said smiling.

More music played. There was more dancing, more drinking, more eating, more conversation and lots more laughter. As instructed, Eugene did a exceptional job of playing music. Michael Jackson, Johnny Cash, Elvis, Stevie Wonder, The Beach Boys, Bob Marley, Run DMC and Frankie Valli all took turns on the record player.

It was as if they all stepped out of the life they were in and went back in time a two years. An event that would seem normal in the past, seemed blissfully surreal tonight. No one wanted the evening to end but finally around 2 AM, the last of the party goers said their good nights. 

…..

“I have a surprise for you,” Carol said to Michonne and Rick as they began to retreat into one of the conference rooms for the night.

“Another surprise?” Rick said with wide eyes.

“Yep. Follow me,” she said taking Michonne's arm. “Hey, where's Judith?”

“Sasha insisted on keeping her with her one more night,” Rick said, “I would have argued but since it's our wedding night, it didn't take too much convincing.”

Carol led them upstairs to the second floor of the library. She walked up to a door that opened to another staircase leading to the attic.

“What surprise could possibly be up in that dusty attic?” Michonne said still following Carol, “Mice? More books?” The three of them reached the top of the stairs and Michonne's jaw dropped. “Who did this?” she asked.

“Me and a bunch of those strong, burly men downstairs.” Rick and Michonne looked around the open and spacious attic. There was a queen-sized four poster bed against one of the walls of the room. The bed was made up beautifully with fresh linens and pillows. Two antique nightstands flanked both sides of the bed. There was even a dresser, bookshelf and a chair in the room. At least a dozen candles were lit throughout the attic. “I wanted you to have a proper honeymoon suite.”

“Thank you Carol. It's not enough that you brought my daughter back to me, you did all this too,” Rick said hugging her, “I owe you.”

Carol patted him on the back, “Well then I'll be thinking of some amazing way you can repay me.”

“Thank you for this,” Michonne said, “for the entire day. It was beautiful...everything we could have asked for,” Michonne hugged her friend.

“It was good for all of us too. A nice distraction from the real world. We needed it,” Carol replied. “I'm going to leave now and I'm going to lock the door at the bottom of the stairs. You two have a fun night,” she said winking.

“Oh we will,” Rick said calling out to her with a mischievous smirk on his face. As soon as he heard the door close he excitedly took Michonne's hand and led her to the bed.

“Did you ever see It's A Wonderful Life?” Rick asked.

“Yeah, quite a few times with my mom and dad. Why?”

“It's one of my favorite movies. Do you remember when George Bailey and Mary missed their honeymoon and all their friends...”

“...decorated the old dilapidated house and made it into a honeymoon suite as a surprise for them,” Michonne laughed, “yeah, I remember.” Her smile faded and she said in all seriousness, “Welcome home Mr. Grimes.”

Michonne put her arms around Rick's neck and kissed him. First softly and gently then again with more enthusiasm. Even though he had waited for this moment, he wanted to slow down so he could take in every part, every subtle nuance. Rick put his hands on her arms and pulled her away slightly, staring deeply into her eyes. He placed his hands on her face caressing her then her neck. He moved his hands unhurried, down her arms and laced his fingers through hers. After a moment, he slowly moved his hands onto her back. He pulled her body close to his and kissed her again slowly. Rick hands moved all over her body uninhibited as he kept his mouth on her lips. He unzipped the back of her dress and it fell to the floor. They continued to kiss passionately but deliberately as they undressed, only stopping momentarily to gaze at each other. They made their way to the bed. Their bed. Michonne lied on her back and Rick lied next to her.

“I love you Michonne,” Rick said looking down into her beautiful eyes, sparkling in the glow of the candlelight.

“I'll never get tired of hearing you say that.”

“Well then I won't ever stop saying it.”   
…..

Eugene's battery sermon was almost word for word Walter White's explanation of how to make batteries in the “4 Days Out” episode of Breaking Bad (another show I love). It was written by Sam Catlin and Vince Gilligan.


	22. Right Now

Right Now

Michonne was awoken by the sound of Judith babbling. She opened her eyes and looked over at the crib on the other side of the room. She quietly tiptoed out of the warmth of the bed and Rick's arms and walked over to the smiling toddler. Judy bounced in her crib with her arms raised up in anticipation of Michonne lifting her out. It was only 6 AM but Judith, their reliable little alarm clock, was ready to start the day.

“Good morning Pumpkin!” Michonne said groggily but grinning ear to ear as she picked her up giving her a big kiss on the cheek. “Should we go wake up Daddy or let him be a sleepyhead?” she asked walking back towards the bed. The two climbed into the bed and Michonne nuzzled Judith up against Rick's scruffy face. “Wake up Daddy and play with me,” Michonne said.

Rick slowly opened his eyes, stretched, then quickly grabbed Judy and held her above his head. He playfully lowered her to his face and blew raspberries on her tummy. She squealed in delight as Rick sat her on the bed between the two of them. She immediately grabbed at one of Michonne's dreads to play with.

Judith was the most easy-going baby anyone had ever seen. She usually had a smile on her face whenever anyone looked her way and only cried when she was very tired or hurt. She was born into a world none of the others were born into. A world where the living were outnumbered by the dead. A world where cell phones, internet, public schools, politics and quite a few other annoying distractions, didn't exist. A world that was upside-down for everyone but her. While the others could never stop reminiscing about how things were, this life was all Judith Grimes knew. Her world was her family and as long as that was intact, she was happy. 

“What are you up to today?” Michonne asked Rick as she brushed her fingers up and down his arm.

“Another run,” Rick sighed. “I'm going out with Glenn, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene to see about those solar panels on the elementary school on the other side of town. Eugene says he's sure we can take them down and reinstall them on the roof here.”

“That would be incredible. Having electricity would be a total game changer, especially with winter coming.”

“Yep. Now that we've settled in a little, it's time we start building up on what we already got. After yesterday's run, we have a good store of food that should last a month or so and Daryl's been doing a great job with hunting and teaching the others.”

“I can't believe we actually ate venison that Carl shot himself,” Michonne beamed. “Everyone's been pulling their weight. We're off to a good start.”

Things had definitely changed in the six weeks since the reunion and the wedding and they truly were off to a good start.

Daryl had spent every waking hour doing three things: hunting, eating and teaching Carl, Noah and Liv to hunt. Lee, along with Winnie, always went with them for back-up which made Rick and Michonne feel better. They were a strong team and their tracking and hunting skills were being refined with each expedition. The group had never eaten better than they had been in the last few weeks. Rick even had to put another notch in his belt to accommodate his growing midsection.

The others had plenty of work to do also. Glenn and Abraham had become great friends and often went on runs together. Depending on the purpose and dynamics of the run, others went with them. Usually Rick, Michonne, Morgan, Sasha or Rosita. Rick and Michonne never went on runs together. They decided that it was imperative that one of them was always near Judith.

Rick and Michonne, with the help of Daryl, Abraham, Sasha and Rosita, took care of security. There was a 24 hour watch in place, divided into 4 hour shifts. The watches were done from the roof or the attic. Since the newcomers had been in Waycross, they hadn't seen one living soul and only a few dozen or so walkers. Still they remained vigilant and never let their guards down. They couldn't afford to.

Although Carol had the skills and ability to go on runs and ensure the security of their new home, she preferred the comfort and peacefulness of domestic duties. It was a less prestigious but just as important service that she provided for the group. She and Maggie did most of the cooking, laundry and cleaning with the help of Carl, Holly, Liv, Noah and Clem. 

Glenn was relieved that Maggie willingly agreed to stay back from all the runs and was staying within the safety and confines of the library. She was, from what Bob guessed, around 14 weeks along in her pregnancy and starting to show. Her spirits had risen also. Wounds are more raw when you are on the road, unsure of your safety and where your next meal will come from. After they had made it to the safety Waycross provided and found their family there, Maggie had managed to pull herself out of her despair. She forged and deepened the friendships she had with all the ladies but especially nurtured her bond with Carol. Carol, always the mother of the group, took such good care of Maggie, always making sure she was eating well, getting the rest she needed and even working out with her. Her kindness and support were priceless and Maggie knew that if it weren't for Carol's motherly love, she would still be in the abysmal depression she was in less than two months ago.

Just 3 weeks ago, school had started up again. Lee, a former history professor at the University of Georgia, said that getting the kids back in a classroom was nearly as valuable as feeding and securing them. “If we want to continue to build and sustain what we have here, we need to start opening some of these books around here,” Lee said at their first council meeting. Everyone, even the kids, agreed.

Eugene proved himself most useful in this department. He used to teach high school science and put his knowledge to good use, guiding Carl, Holly, Liv, Noah and Clem in what he knew. Their first lesson was hands on. They went to the roof and started a greenhouse and a garden.

Bob the former Army medic, also taught a class. He insisted on teaching the entire group first aid and CPR but then eventually planned to do more in depth medical training with those who thought they might be inclined in such a field. Michonne, Morgan, Carl and Lee were so inclined. They had already learned the basics and were moving on to stitching, IVs and learning the ins and outs of homeopathic medicine. 

Morgan, a jack of all trades and no stranger to hard work, liked to move around from one area of the tiny community to all the others. He didn't have a specific job but went on runs and relieved people from their security watches. Morgan, always a voracious student, also liked to sit in on the classes with the students. He sometimes helped the kids with their lessons and other times let himself just be taught. He was happy to help Eugene get the roof-top garden and greenhouse started. Morgan also enjoyed spending most of his free time with Carol, helping her with all her duties and chores.

Rick, Michonne, Carl and Judith had become an even tighter family unit since the wedding. Liv fit right in with them and also became close with the four, especially Michonne. Liv was grateful to be part of a real family again.

The truth was, they all were family. No one was an outsider. Rick and Michonne looked out for Holly, Clem and Noah just as much as they did their own children. All the other adults did too. Even Abraham, Eugene, Rosita, Lee and Clem felt the inclusion and had become just as loyal to Rick and his group, as they were to each other.

After lying in bed for a few minutes, Michonne picked Judith up from between her and Rick and cradled her in her arms. She kissed her chubby, little fingers and smiled at her little girl, “Let's get you dressed Pumpkin.” She placed Judith on her hip then went to the laundry basket of clean clothes that hadn't made it into the dresser. She pulled out gray leggings, a pink shirt with owls on it and socks. She laid her back on the bed, got her dressed, then set her on the floor with a few toys. 

Michonne slid up close to Rick and rested her head on his bear chest. Rick caressed her back with one hand and twirled her hair with the other hand. Playing with her dreadlocks was something he and Judith both had in common, which Michonne actually liked.

“Are you going to make me get dressed too?” he asked drolly.

“Well it is only 6:15 so we could probably lounge around a little longer,” Rick sat up and rolled Michonne onto her back. He straddled her then leaned down to kiss his wife. His hand moved up and down her leg.“I get the feeling you don't want to just lounge around,” she grinned.

“Liv is always up at the crack of dawn. I'll go see if she'll get Judith her breakfast.” Rick excitedly hopped out of bed. He threw on a t-shirt on, grabbed Judy off the floor and nearly tripped as he hustled off. “Don't move!” he instructed Michonne.

“I'm not going anywhere,” she yelled after him. Michonne closed her eyes and let out a sigh. Right now, life was good.

 

…..

 

Carol and Morgan, stood at the makeshift sink in the makeshift kitchen finishing the dishes from breakfast. Carol scrubbed while Morgan rinsed. 

“I just think it's more complicated than you're making it seem,” Carol said, drying her hands off and boosting herself onto the counter top to sit and relax.

“That's exactly what I'm saying. A human life is complicated and that's why it shouldn't be so easy to take.”

“It's never easy. It's not supposed to be easy. I'm just saying sometimes it's necessary.”

“We should always find another way.”

“No Morgan, we should always try to find another way. If we can't...if we find ourselves in a position where killing is the only way, we have to just do it...without hesitation. I love the people around me way to much to see if there's another way.”

“It's not just about taking someone's life though. It costs you something too. I've taken enough lives to know that I never want to take another. If I kept on down that path, I'm not sure if I could keep livin' with myself.”

Carol looked away. A grave expression darkened her face. “Yeah. The living with yourself part is where it gets hard. There's been times I've been so disgusted with what I've done, that I haven't wanted to go on. I've wished that it was me and not them that didn't make it out alive. There have been plenty of times where I've questioned whether or not I've made the right decision.” Carol finally looked up and back at Morgan. “You know what's worse though? Making what you thought was the right decision and then it blows up in your face. I've done that too many times.”

“You think that hasn't happened to me too? I've made choices that I thought were good choices and they weren't. Duane payed the price for my bad choices. It felt right and then...” Morgan clenched his eyes, “and then just like that, you realize how wrong you were all along.”

“We're all going to make these decisions that we wonder if they're right or not. But if I'm going to be wrong, I don't want the people I love to be the ones paying the price. Not anymore.” There was nothing more to debate and a thick silence hovered between them.

“You know what?” Morgan said in his soothing, reassuring tone as he caressed her shoulder, “We don't have to figure everything out right now. We don't need to have a perfect answer to every problem. Today's got enough worries of its own.”

Carol let out a sigh of relief, “You're right. You're absolutely right. We don't have to figure it all out right now and we don't have to agree on everything to make this work.”

“No, we don't. And I'm pretty sure we won't,” Morgan said. “I'm going up to the roof to work on the planter boxes. Do you still want to help me?”

“You bet. I'll be up in half an hour or so...I just have to finish a few things down here.”

“I'll see you then,” Morgan smiled as he exited the kitchen. As he left, Daryl walked in carrying three rabbits. He looked Morgan up and down as he watched him walk away. Daryl looked at his closest friend as he dropped his latest kill onto the kitchen counter and washed his hands off in the dirty dishwater.

“You sure are spendin' a lot of time with Morgan lately,” 

“Are you jealous?” Carol retorted with a smirk on her face as she jumped down off the counter.

“Yeah right!” Daryl snorted.

“Well why are you bringing it up then?” she asked picking up a rabbit and plunging her knife into its flesh to skin it.

“Just somethin' I noticed, that's all.”

“I won't lie. We've gotten close. We talk. We have these wonderfully complex discussions about life. The way it was before. The way it is now. We talk about the universe...God. He talks about Duane and I talk about Sophia. It's good. Something I think we both need.”

“Is that all you do...talk?”

“Daryl Dixon, you are jealous. Admit it,” she joked.

“What do I got to be jealous of? I ain't got time to talk about the universe with you,” he yelled, “someone's gotta put food on the table!” 

Carol stopped skinning the rabbits and looked at Daryl. She was surprised to see the hurt in his eyes. “Are you being serious right now? You had your chance with me Daryl. I've always let you know how I've felt about you and you've never indicated that you felt the same way. I want to love someone again. In some ways, I don't even really know what that's like. I didn't have that with Ed.”

Daryl stood next to Carol, quiet and reflecting. “Always thought you felt that way about me,” he said as he nervously chewed on his fingers.

“You know that I do. But it's not the same when you're not getting it back.”

“You know how I feel about you. I'm not good at sayin' it but you know it. You know me.”

“Yeah I know you. And I know how you feel. But I want more. I want it all. Sometimes you push me away, Daryl. And that's not how love works.”

“Ah how would you know how it works?” Daryl said as he stormed out of the kitchen.

Carol ran after him but couldn't find him. After walking through the library, she finally spotted him sitting on the floor between two large bookshelves. “Why are you so angry with me? What did I do?”

Daryl stood up and begin to walk away once more.

“No Daryl!” Carol blocked him, “You're doing it again. This is what I mean...you're pushing me away. Why?”

“Don't try and get in my head! If you want to be with him then go. I don't care!”

“Yeah it makes it easier for you to say you don't care. The problem with that is that I know you too well. I know you do care.”

“Yeah I care but I ain't gonna beg.”

“Do you really even want me Daryl or are you just jealous that someone else wants me?”

Carol wasn't letting him squirm out of this. Daryl wanted to run away but knew he couldn't. This was why Daryl had never been in a real relationship. It was too hard to stay and do the work. It was easier to run. Easier to be numb. It was why he spent his entire adult life as Merle's henchman. Daryl just did whatever Merle said, no matter how bad it felt, rather than actually form healthy, mutual, loving relationships. It was a dysfunctional and unhappy way to exist but it was all Daryl knew. Daryl was a broken man. He knew it and she knew it too. But at least she knew what it was like to be broken too. That's why he loved her. He didn't feel so alone with her, like he was the only one still hurting from wounds inflicted long ago.

“What do you want from me?” he finally asked.

“Don't ask questions you already know the answer to. I'll tell you that I don't want to play this game anymore.” Carol stood stoically, looking him straight in the eyes.

“Do you love him?”

“I don't know,” she answered honestly, “I think maybe I do.”

“Do you love me?” Daryl asked in a hushed, uncomfortable tone looking down. He had never asked anyone that question before. It was never necessary before.

“Of course I do,” Carol answered, “but I think the real question is, do you love me?”

Daryl said nothing. He shifted uneasily and looked anywhere but at Carol. 

“You're too old for games, Daryl and so am I,” she said turning to walk away. She took less than two steps before she felt Daryl's powerful hand pulling her arm and forcefully spinning her back around. He took her face in his hand and pulled her towards him. Daryl kissed her hard and furiously. It was the first time he had ever kissed a woman that he actually loved and he didn't want the exhilarating feeling to end. As their lips pressed together, Daryl held her tightly and Carol sunk into his fierce and unyielding embrace. She had her answer.


	23. Descendant

Descendant

Rick, Glenn, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene ate a hearty breakfast and left the library at 8 A.M. They filed into the silver Chevy pick up truck and the blue Subaru and made their way to the other side of Waycross. They drove the 4 miles from the library to Ruskin Elementary School quickly. The team of five parked close to a set of doors where the roof of the school was relatively low and exited the truck.

“Looks like this'll be the easiest place to access the roof,” Rick said as he pulled the 20 foot ladder from the bed of the pick-up. 

“Let's hurry. Hopefully we can get this done and home before this storm kicks up. I promised Maggie I'd give her a foot rub when I get back.”

“Well that there is a deal you don't go back on, son. Let's get this party started...wind's already messin' up my hair,” Abraham said sarcastically.

Although it was early in the day, the wind had intensified since they left home. It was obvious a storm was eminent but the group decided against postponing the run to get the solar panels. They had postponed it once already due to a lack of proper tools.

They all climbed the ladder to the top of the roof and got started. Rick kept a look out from the roof while the others detached the panels. The task was done quickly and without incident and 90 minutes later, the five panels were ready to be brought down from the roof. They carefully tied them up and started lowering them to the ground. 

As Rick kept watch, he spotted movement in the distance about half a mile away. He saw the shapes of someone or something walking. He was unable to tell if they were alive or dead. As he peered through his binoculars and saw the figures moving in their direction, it was clear they were alive. “We have four people heading this way,” he said to the others.

“Did they spot us?” Rosita asked.

“Nah. They wouldn't be able to see us from where they are.” Rick answered.

“Do you have anymore details on them,” Abraham queried.

“Looks like two men, a woman and a kid...maybe three or four years old,” Rick said. “Let's hurry before they get any closer.”

“Alright were double timin' this,” Abraham said as he wrapped the second to the last panel in rope. “We got company comin' soon,” he shouted to Glenn and Eugene from above as he lowered it down to them.

“Who?” Glenn asked.

“A couple guys, a lady and a kid,” Abraham replied.

“A kid?!” Glenn grabbed the last panel, leaned it against the wall and ran up the ladder. “Rick, let me see the binoculars.”

Rick hesitated as he stared Glenn down. He could read Glenn's mind and could see where this was going. He removed the binoculars from around his neck and handed them over to his friend. “I know what you're thinkin'”

“If there's a kid out there, we can't just go back without talking about this as a group,” Glenn said as he peered through the binoculars. “It's a little boy. Can't be more than four. What are we going to do Rick?”

Rick sighed and looked from Glenn to Abraham and Rosita, then back to Glenn, “We don't know who they are. We don't know if it's safe to help them.”

“You're right. We don't know if it's safe but we do know it's right.” Glenn stated solemnly. “What would you want if it was Judith or Carl that needed help?”

Rick grabbed the binoculars back from Glenn and looked through them again. “They look pretty beat down. The woman's got her arm in a sling. It doesn't look like they have any heavy artillery either– just a bat and an ax.”

“So we help them,” Glenn said.

“I didn't say that. We get this last panel down then we put it to a vote.”

Glenn went back down the ladder and the last panel was brought down. The tools were lowered next followed by Rick, Abraham and Rosita. Small drops of rain began to fall from the dark clouds.

“They're going to be here any minute so let's hurry this up. If were going to help them, we should get to them before they see us,” Abraham said to the others.

“So what's the decision then?” Rick asked, “Who votes to help them?” Everyone's hand went up except for Rick's. He shook his head and took in a deep breath. “Alright, I guess we're doing this then.”

“They should be coming through this parking lot any second. When they do, Rick, Glenn, you two do the talking. Rosita, Eugene and I will back you up.”

The five waited patiently with their weapons drawn and ready. The wind picked up and the rain started to fall more heavily. The four strangers rounded the corner of the school and immediately froze.

“Hey, hey – don't hurt us!” one of the men said with desperation. It was telling and upsetting to Rick that people no longer asked for help. Maybe early on they did, but not now. Now when you met someone unknown, you just begged for your life.

“Lower your weapons,” Rick cooly instructed the new arrivals with his AR 15 pointed towards them, “We're not gonna hurt you but you need to put your weapons on the ground. Now.”

The ax and bat were lowered and set down. The woman, who had her left arm in the crude, homemade sling, pulled a knife out of her belt and tossed it on the ground. She placed the little boy behind her protectively. 

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Rick asked, his weapon still raised. 

“I'm Aaron. This is my sister, Clare and her son Jack, and this is Heath,” he said throwing his pack at Rick's feet then raising his arms. “Just take what you want and don't hurt us. Please?”

“We're just trying to survive,” Clare said to Rick and his friends in the elementary school parking lot. “Do you have any food?” she pleaded, “My little boy hasn't eaten anything in two days.”

Heath looked at Clare then back at Rick, “Look, we don't need food. We just need you to let us pass through without any trouble. You can take our gear...even our weapons. Just let us go.”

“It doesn't look like you want to make any trouble for us so we're not going to make any trouble for you,” Glenn replied.

Abraham finally approached Rick, Glenn and the strangers. “I want to know where y'all are comin' from.”

Aaron glanced over to Clare and Heath. He apprehensively looked back at Abraham, then slowly spoke, “Were from larger group that's settled nearby.”

“Where and how many?” Rick interrogated.

“Near Pearson about 25 miles west of here. We were with a group of about 35 people. My husband, John is in charge of all of them.”

“What do you mean 'in charge of them'” Glenn asked.

“I mean he's in charge of them...in charge of everything. He says who does what, where we can go, how much we can eat, everything. He's not a bad person. He's kept us all alive.”

“Why did you leave then?” Abraham asked.

“Well things have been getting worse between the two of us but I still didn't want to leave. There's ugliness inside our community but it's just as ugly out here, probably more so. I figured I'd go with what I knew rather than to try and go back out in the open. He didn't used to be like this.”

“It was safe where we were. We didn't want to leave,” Aaron said, “but four days ago, John beat the hell out of my sister. He broke her arm and knocked her unconscious.

“It's not his completely his fault though,” Clare jumped in.

“I'm sorry, he beat you up and broke your arm and you say it not all his fault?” Glenn asked in exasperation.

“It's not that simple. He's sick. He has a severe bipolar disorder. He was managing it though. He was fine, I mean as fine as anyone can be now. We found a good supply of meds, lithium and some different herbal remedies too. But then we completely ran out of everything,” Clare tried to explain but then burst into tears. “Then our daughter died two months ago. She was 11. She was torn apart – eaten alive. It was horrible and he completely lost his mind after that. Any bit of sanity he had left, disappeared when she died. Even after that though, he was still coping somehow. But he started going into rages and Jack and I were always the ones he'd take it out on. Then he really lost it a few days ago and...”

“I...we decided that we would rather take our chances out here than stay with him. So we snuck away,” Aaron said. “I had to get her and my nephew away from him, for good.”

“You don't have to help us,” Heath said proudly, “Why would you? But listen, we have to get outta here...keep moving because he's no doubt looking for us. Just let us go and you'll never have to see us again.”

“We have food. We have a doctor. Come back with us and we'll help you,” Glenn blurted out. Rick turned his head towards Glenn and glared. “What? We'll blindfold them and they don't have to stay. But we can't leave them out here like this...not a kid.”

“Look, we don't want to stay anywhere near here. All we're trying to do is put as much distance between us and him as possible,” Aaron said, “Maybe you can help us. Your doc can look at Clare's arm and set it properly. Maybe you can help us find a car or get a some food? Then we can go.”

“My husband is following us and he probably won't stop looking until he finds us. I don't want to put any of you in danger.”

“Cause you took his kid?” Abraham asked.

“Yes. Because I took my son,” Clare replied. “There's no way I would leave him with John, the way he is now. I might not be worth the trouble to John, but Jack he wants. I don't even know what he'll do with the rest of us but I know he'll always come for Jack. And I'll always protect him.”

“We all will,” Aaron said.

The rain fell harder and began to beat down on them. “We need to get back. Blindfold them and get them in the cars. Two in this car and two in the pickup,” Rick instructed, “let's go.”

…..

The heavy rain continued to fall and a violent wind blew against the Library walls. Michonne kissed a sleeping Judith delicately on her soft face then carefully laid her in her crib. She patted her chest as the heavily sleeping baby made sweet little sucking sounds. 

Michonne got undressed and tossed her still-clean work clothes over a chair. She slipped on short shorts and a tank top then walked over to Rick who had dropped himself on the bed without so much as removing his boots. The look of exhaustion was written all over his face. Michonne lifted his leg up and removed the boot off of his right foot then moved to his left. Rick, who was momentarily half-asleep, came to attention and placed his hands behind his head. He watched his wife undress him. A crooked smile crept onto his face as she climbed on top of him and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling his arms out gently. She unbuckled his belt and slipped his jeans down his legs. Michonne tossed the dirty clothes in a corner of the room. She pulled Rick up and led him to his side of the bed. She pulled down the covers and he laid down. She got under the covers and laid next to him. She rested her head in the crook of his chest and arm while running her hand over his stomach, chest and neck.

“So what do you make of the newbies?” she asked.

“I honestly don't know. I'm too tired to think about it. What do you think?”

“I think they're telling the truth and I think they're good people. I think they wouldn't have made it much longer if you left them out there.” Michonne stopped stroking his chest. She sat up and looked him in the eye. “I also think they could make trouble for us.”

Rick let out a heavy sigh, “Yeah, they could.”

Aaron, Clare and Heath seemed nice enough. Their cautious and submissive demeanor conveyed that they were not a threat to their group. But that wasn't good enough these days. There was no doubt in Rick's mind that if they hadn't had a four-year-old child with them, he wouldn't have given them a second glance. He would have left them to fend for themselves. But Glenn's words: “What would you want if it was Judith or Carl that needed help?” penetrated Rick's callous discernment. He immediately though of the risks taken for Carl, and especially Judith's, safety and well-being. How could he turn his back on a child especially when there were so few children left in this depraved and dismal world?

“Well hopefully they'll just leave tomorrow as planned. Bob reset Clare's arm – got her a cast and sling of sorts. We found them a reliable vehicle. They'll get a good night's sleep tonight. In the morning, we'll fill their packs with food, givem' water and send them on their way.”

“I'm sure they'll leave and everything will go smoothly,” Michonne said resuming her movement along Rick's torso. “Rick, I know you're tired but there's something else we need to talk about.”

“What's that?” he said pulling her closer and kissing her forehead.

“I know we agreed on our wedding night that neither of us wanted to have a baby – not now, maybe not ever.”

“Yeah,” Rick agreed.

“I know we were both completely on the same page about it. Things just aren't stable enough right now. We already have a baby that needs a lot of care. And we have Carl and Liv and the others...”

“It wouldn't be a smart move to add to our load. I still feel the same way, Michonne.”

“Things are going pretty good but I wouldn't have thought you would have changed your mind since 6 weeks ago.”

“Well why are you bringing this up then? Are you having second thoughts about having a baby?” he asked sitting up with a hint of contentiousness in his tone.

“I am having second thoughts.”

Rick got out of bed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He narrowed his eyes and gave her a look of sheer confusion.“Why would you want to do that? I thought we already made this decision. I'm exhausted, Michonne. Why are we even talking about this right now when we have plenty of other things to worry about?”

“Rick, sit down,” Michonne said calmly. Rick sat back on the bed next to her and she reached for both of his hands with both of her hands. “I'm not trying to bate and switch with you. I'm not saying all this because I've suddenly decided having a baby would be a great idea. I'm bringing it up because we are going to have a baby.”

Rick was stunned and bewildered and his eyes widened, “What? What...how did this happen?”

“The protection we've been using is old and one apparently broke,” Michonne said casually almost jokingly.

“We can't do this...I can't do this! This is how I lost Lori – how Carl and Judith lost their mother. We can't do this, Michonne! I won't lose you too.”

“Rick, you're not going to lose me,” she said as she lovingly stroked his face,“besides, it's already happening. I can't change what's already been set in motion. I won't even try.”

Rick stood back up in anger, “How are you okay with this?”

“How would you like me to react? Would it be better if I got angry and worried about everything that could go wrong? Is that what you want me to do?” 

Rick walked near Judith's crib and stood beside it quietly watching her sleep. He turned back around and looked at his wife. He looked into her eyes. He saw the hope she steadily relied on, deep inside them. The way she looked at him, the way she looked at Carl and Judith, the way she looked at everyone. Bright-eyed and faithful. 

Before the world changed, Rick could look at the glass as half empty or half full, even as a cop. But now it didn't matter how he looked at the glass. It was almost always half empty. She was different though. She could always see the silver lining. And even if she couldn't see it, she still knew it was there and reassured everyone else that it was there too. It was such a big part of what he loved about her. Her refusal to live a life of fear and to be hopeful for what was better, even if it was ambiguous.

“Of course I don't want you to get angry and worry. That's more in my wheelhouse,” he snorted. “Do what you do best, Michonne,” he said sarcastically, “take it all in stride. Be hopeful. Have faith.”

Michonne walked over to where he stood next to Judith's crib and leaned her head on his arm, “I need that from you too. I can't be the only one that has hope in all this.”

“I tried everything I could to protect Lori when I found out she was going to have a baby, but it didn't work. She's gone. Then after that, I couldn't...I couldn't protect Judy either.”

“Judith is here now.”

“Not because of me.”

“Yes because of you. Not only because of you because we all need each other. I'm here because of you.” Michonne wrapped her arms around Rick and gazed up into his eyes, “I can't see the future but I know we'll get through this. We're going to have a baby, Rick. This is a good thing whether we planned on it or not. We're a family and that's how were going to stay.”

Rick closed his eyes and pulled Michonne into his embrace. He clung tightly to her and felt her body against his. He felt a surge from her. Her faith, her strength, it radiated from every part of her...every limb. And Rick knew exactly where it came from. But she was right, he needed to have it too. He desperately wanted it and knew just how hard life had been without it. And if she had it, maybe he could too. Rick pressed his lips against Michonne's lips then cupped her face in his hands, “We're a family, and that's how we're going to say.”


	24. With A Little Help From My Friends

Aaron, Clare and Heath had made good on their promise to be on there way as soon as possible. They were rested up, well-fed and adequately supplied with food and water to last them several days. Rick and Glenn helped them load all their supplies into the recently tuned-up Jeep Cherokee they found the previous day. 

“I don't know how we can thank you for all your help,” Clare said to Rick as she held Jack close to her. “My arm already feels better, thanks to Bob. You and your friends have been so kind to us.”

“I can't take credit,” Rick stated, “Glenn is the one who said that we had to do what we could to help you. He's a good man that way.”

“Glenn...thank you. Thank you so much for everything,” Clare's grateful eyes watered as she spoke to him. “I'm not sure how much longer we would have made it out there the way we were.”

“I think everyone of us here have been in that same spot. You know, thinking we wouldn't make it. But we're all still here somehow,” Glenn replied.

Aaron and Heath walked around from the back of the car. They reached out their hands to exchange handshakes with the other two men.

“I know my sister must have thanked you a dozen times but I have to say it too: thank you,” Aaron said.

“You're welcome,” Rick said, “I'd like to think if the tables were turned, and we were the ones in need of help, you would do the same.”

“Of course,” Aaron replied, “and if we get the opportunity to pass the help on to someone else, we will.” 

“Hopefully we can make our way far from here. We're going to keep heading east. Not sure what we'll do once we hit the coast. Maybe we can find another group and settle down somewhere,” Heath said. “It's nice to know there are still good people out here.”

The four filed into the Jeep and began to drive away. Glenn put his arm on Rick's shoulder and looked his friend in the eyes, “Feels good to do the right thing, huh?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I just need a nudge. I'm glad it worked out for everyone this time.”

Rick watched Glenn walk back inside the library. He had always considered himself a bit of a mentor to Glenn, who was more than a dozen years his junior. Rick had watched him grow into a man over the last few years. The former pizza delivery boy was smart and resourceful. Even more important than that, Glenn had virtue. He was incorruptible and always aspired to do the right thing no matter what the cost. Rick thought of himself as a guide to Glenn but he realized Glenn had something valuable to offer him as well. On all too many occasions, the lines of morality got blurrier for Rick. Rick always knew the right thing to do, but was all too often managed by his fears, confused by them. He was grateful he had someone like Glenn to remind him of the man he really was.

…..

The storm had blown out as fast as it had blown in. Today the sun was shining and the ladies were grateful for that. They were at the creek, washing clothes and chatting it up. Rosita, stood watch as Michonne, Carol, Maggie and Sasha scrubbed and rinsed everyone's dirty laundry. Carl, Liv and Noah usually helped with this chore but Carol and Maggie gave them a reprieve today. Maggie asked Michonne, Sasha and Rosita to come along instead and they didn't hesitate. She wanted to spend some time with her friends. 

“Hey ya'll,” Maggie said looking at Michonne, Sasha and Rosita, “I know laundry isn't one of your duties so I'm sorry I have you out here doing this. I just wanted to have a little girl-time.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sasha replied, “You wash my clothes by hand, hang em' on a line to dry and leave them folded at the foot of my bed and you're apologizing to me?”

Maggie smiled, “Thanks. We all have jobs to do and I'm happy to do mine.”

Rosita looked over from where she was standing watch, her gun in hand,“Girl time, huh? I think I've completely forgotten what that is. It was just me with Abraham and Eugene for almost a year.”

“On top of the fact that we've been a little preoccupied with just surviving for so long,” Michonne chimed in. “So what's this all about?”

Maggie stopped scrubbing for a moment and wiped her brow. “I just wanted to do something normal, or at least close to normal. Before the end of the world, every Friday night like clockwork, my girlfriends and I would go out. You know, have some drinks, go dancing, go to a baseball game, a movie, anything. We'd just get together and laugh, gossip, eat too much, gripe about our boyfriends and jobs. It was the highlight of my week.” Maggie looked down into the water with a sullen face, “You know, I don't even know what happened to any of them. Not one. They were my best friends and now it feels like they were never even real.”

“Well we'll have to make do,” Michonne said breaking the tension, “doing laundry ain't drinks and dancin' but we can still gossip and laugh.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean bring the mood down. Sometimes it doesn't take much for me to go downhill. Let's change the subject,” Maggie perked up. “Sooo...Carol?”

“Yes?” Carol replied in a cheery voice.

“What's goin' on with you and Morgan?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah, everyone here knows you've been spending a lot of time 'gardening' with him,” Sasha said followed by laughter from the others.

“What? We're friends,” Carol replied.

“Yeah right,” Michonne said, “I see the way you two look at each other.”

“Alright, we're close friends. Happy?”

“Close friends? Sure, okay” Maggie said looking away suspiciously. 

“C'mon Carol, give poor, pregnant Maggie the good stuff,” Sasha said smiling. “She can't drink margaritas or go to the movies.”

“Last time I checked, none of us get margaritas anymore,” Rosita said.

“Yeah but at least y'all can drink wine,” Maggie said as she rubbed her growing belly.

“Alright, alright. I'll give you gossip mongers something good,” Carol's smile turned into a bit of a scowl. She inhaled and exhaled, “Truth is, I've made a big mess of things...and I don't know what to do.”

Michonne, Maggie and Sasha stopped their work and listened intently. Rosita's ears perked up also.

“Well, Morgan and I have gotten really close. There are real feelings there. He listens to me like no one ever has. When he looks at me, I feel like he sees me...every part of me. We fit together and we make sense and...” Carol paused and looked at her friends, “I think I might love him.”

“How exactly is that a mess?” Maggie asked.

“Well,” Carol hesitated, “Daryl noticed how close Morgan and I have gotten and he got jealous. I called him out on it yesterday. I told him to quit playing games with me.”

“What?” Sasha exclaimed, her mouth hanging open, “and then what?”

“Well...then...he kissed me,” all the women hooted and gasped and laughed.

“He did not!” Michonne blurted out. 

“He did. He kissed me in the history section of the library. He kissed me good and hard,” Carol said blushing and grinning.

“I'm sorry but we are talking about the same Daryl Dixon that tears dead animals apart all day?” Rosita asked sarcastically.

“The one and only,” Carol confirmed.

“So what did you do?” Maggie asked.

“Nothing. I stood there and let him. I was so shocked. I've been trying with Daryl since after the farm but I kind of gave up on thinking there would be some kind of romance with the two of us a long time ago. But then it...it just happened.”

Michonne, Sasha and Rosita continued to talk and giggle about the situation but Maggie looked over at Carol and saw that she was no longer smiling. Carol looked troubled.

“Hey,” Maggie said to Carol, “you okay?”

“No not really. I know this sounds like some silly love triangle or juicy gossip, but it's not. I care so much about both of them. I love them both. I didn't mean for this to happen and now I don't know what to do.”

“Well what did you do after he kissed you?” Sasha asked.

“I just walked away. Daryl's probably just as confused as I am. I haven't really talked to either of them since yesterday. I was supposed to help Morgan with the garden but I stood him up. He asked me later why I didn't show and I told him I wasn't feeling well. Then Clare and her group showed up and everyone was busy with that.”

“Well you can't avoid both of them forever,” Michonne said.

“I know, I just don't want to hurt anyone. I need some time to myself to sort this out on my own.”

“And that's just what you'll do. Sort it out,” Maggie said squeezing her hand, reassuring her friend. “You're one of the smartest and best people I know and you'll do the right thing.”

“Thanks Maggie,” Carol replied with a reserved smile. “Alright, lets change the subject. Surely someone else here has something else to talk about.”

The ladies all looked around at each other, waiting for someone else to divulge another hidden gem.

“Alright,” Michonne said, “I got a good one.” She hadn't planned on telling anyone just yet but in the interest of solidarity, she actually wanted to disclose her big news to her friends.

“Spill it!” Maggie blurted out. All eyes were on Michonne.

“Well, after six weeks of marriage and trying our best to not get pregnant...I'm pregnant.”

More gasps and squeals erupted from the group.

“Oh my gosh!!” Maggie shouted. “I can't believe we're both going to have babies!” Maggie threw her arms around Michonne. “It makes me so happy to have someone else to go through all this with!”

“That was fast!” Carol said.

“Yes it was. I just took a test yesterday and I know I'm not very far along.” 

“Are you okay with this?” Sasha asked, “You said you and Rick we're trying to not get pregnant.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I'm okay with it,” Michonne said in a serene tone. “It's not what we wanted or what we planned but our own plans don't always match up with God's plans. I'm on board with the new plan. I gotta be.”

Rosita rolled her eyes but Michonne didn't mind. “What about Rick? How does he feel about it?”

“Well, after what happened with Lori and Judith, he's really worried. But that's Rick. He worries about everything. It's probably a part of why were still alive.”

“He has good reason to worry about this,” Carol said.

“I know he does,” Michonne replied, “but whatever happens, happens. It's not good for any of us to live in a perpetual state of fear. I'm not gonna do that. I'm going to take good care of myself and the baby and we are going to be perfect.”

“I'm glad you're in such good spirits. That's going to make things a lot better for you and the baby,” Carol said.

“Your first baby!! This is so exciting!” Maggie said as she beamed from ear to ear at Michonne.

“Well actually,” Michonne began but then hesitated, “I am really excited.”

Michonne couldn't do it. In this moment, she couldn't tell them all of her heartbreak about Andre. She couldn't tell them that this actually wasn't her first baby. The mood held promise and hope. But it wasn't even that she didn't want to bring the mood down or remind everyone of the painful realities of life as it was today. She had other reasons.

Michonne wanted to keep that little part of her life to herself, at least for know. She didn't want to just toss it out in the open for everyone to momentarily feel sad and sorry for her and then move on. She knew that they wouldn't mean to do that. It was just human nature. As much as Michonne loved Carol and knew herself how devastating the loss of a child was, she still wouldn't be able to grasp just how precious Sophia was to her own mother. Andre and his memory were too treasured for her to talk about in a casual conversation. Rick was the only one alive to know this part of her and that felt right. 

As the ladies finished up the laundry, there was much more lively conversation and laughter. There was already talk of baby names for Michonne and Maggie's newborns. There were suggestions of how Carol should handle her dilemma. They light-heartedly griped about foods they missed and how they wished they had running water again. They all divulged little details about their relationships: Sasha with Bob and Rosita with Abraham. If there had been margaritas, it might have even felt like a Friday night on the town.


	25. The Hunt

The Hunt

It had been a day since Clare and her companions had left and things were back to normal. Clare, Aaron, Heath and Jack being at the library was mostly uneventful but Rick was pleased that everything was back to business as usual.

Rick had a new appreciation for normalcy and the mundane, at least as far as work, runs, chores and security went. There was still plenty of excitement with a new wife, a baby on the way, healthy kids and a puppy running around. Of course all the other people kept the library lively as well. The group had plenty of lengthy discussions of expanding and securing some of the surrounding houses so that everyone could have more space and privacy. But for right now, everyone was relieved to just have food, safety and peace. With winter right around the corner, they all agreed their efforts were better spent on building up their supplies. That was far more important than comfort. Besides, there was safety in numbers.

“I'll see you guys tomorrow,” Carl yelled up into the attic from the bottom of the stairs to Rick and Michonne.

“I don't think so!” Michonne yelled back, “Get yourself up here and say goodbye properly.”

Rick grinned over at Michonne as they listened to Carl running up the stairs.

Michonne held out her arms and Carl came to give her a hug with a smile on his face. “Be careful out there. Listen to Daryl and Lee and don't do anything stupid....and DON'T say 'I know' say 'I will'”

“Okay, I will,” Carl replied trying his hardest not to roll his eyes. “I promise I'll be careful and listen to Daryl and Lee and not do anything stupid.”

“Thank you,” Michonne said.

Carl was going out on his first overnight hunting and fishing trip. Daryl told Rick about hunting grounds about 50 miles from Waycross, near Fruitland. Not only were the hunting grounds renowned, Lake Verne was right in the middle and had some of the best fishing in Georgia. The plan was to hunt all day, turn in early and get up first thing in the morning to fish.

“I think she covered everything so I won't lecture you too,” Rick said as he tousled Carl's hair. Carl grabbed Judith's toes and kissed her on the head while Rick was holding her.

“See you tomorrow,” Carl said again.

“Okay, love you,” Michonne said as he walked away.

“Love you too!” Carl yelled back, running down the stairs.

“Hey,” Rick said looking at Michonne, “do you think I should go with them?”

“Why? You never go hunting,” Michonne said with confusion.

“I don't know,” Rick shifted Judith from his right hip to his left and ran his fingers through his hair, “they're going somewhere new. Somewhere farther than they've gone before.”

“Daryl's been there before,” Michonne said. “They'll be fine.”

“Yeah, I know. I just don't like him being so far away. It's unnecessary. The walkies will be out of range. I just don't like it.”

“Rick, he's not going out by himself. He's going with Lee and Daryl and Noah. Winnie won't leave his side either,” Michonne said trying her best to reassure him. “Don't worry.”

“Yeah you're right...they'll be fine. I gotta keep reminding myself that he's not a kid anymore.”

“Carl's been out with them more than a dozen times. He's smart and he listens to Daryl.”

“Probably listens to Daryl better than me,” Rick chuckled. “Alright, I'll quit worrying. I got plenty to do around here anyway.”

“Well gimme my sweet girl and get to work,” Michonne said as she pulled Judith from his arms. 

“I'll see you ladies at lunch.” Rick kissed Judith on the forehead, then kissed Michonne on the lips. He walked down the stairs but Michonne ran after him. 

“Hey! You busy later tonight?”

“I have my watch from four til eight. Why?” Rick asked with curiosity.

“I thought maybe we could go on a date.”

“A date?” 

“Yeah a date. When two people like each other sometimes they do something fun together, just by themselves. It's called a date,” Michonne said smiling. “They get a babysitter, use deodorant, wear shoes without caked-on blood and guts...”

Rick looked down at his boots and laughed, “Thanks for refreshing my mind on what dating is. Alright, let's go on a date. What did ya have in mind.”

“Sasha's been begging to keep Judith for a night so that's taken care of. I thought we could take our dinner on the roof with some candles and blankets.”

“Yeah, that sounds real nice.” Rick walked back up the stairs and kissed Michonne again, “I'll see you at eight.”

…..

Daryl, Lee, Carl and Noah loaded their packs and gear into the motor home and were ready to head out. Daryl would lead the way to Lake Verne on his new bike, a black and green Victory Kingpin cruiser. They were just about to leave when Carol came outside to meet them. 

“I baked you guys some cookies for your trip,” she said as she handed Noah a plastic container. “Be safe out there.” They all thanked Carol and got inside the motor home. “Daryl, can I talk to you for a minute before you go?”

Daryl kept his hands on the handlebars and didn't move, “Whatdya need?”

“I know you're trying to leave but will you come back inside with me for just a minute? I promise it won't take long,” Carol's eyes pleaded.

Daryl put the kickstand down and got off his bike. He followed Carol back into the privacy of the library's foyer. 

“What?” he asked again.

“I'm sorry I ran off the other day,” Carol said straightening her shirt nervously.

“Yeah I thought you didn't like people runnin' off.”

“I know. I was being a hypocrite. I just got scared,” she said looking up into his eyes. “I didn't think this would ever really happen...I mean, you and me. I just wasn't expecting it and I got scared. I needed some tome to think.”

“And?”

“And...I did. I did a lot of thinking. This world is crazy and it just keeps getting crazier,” Carol said rubbing her forehead and shaking, “I...I want...I want to be with you. I've always wanted to be with you. And now knowing you want to be with me, it's confusing.”

“Why?”

“Because it's new. I'm 48 and I don't know what it is to have someone love me,” she shook her head as tears fell from her eyes.

“I never had that either,” Daryl said lifting Carol's chin and peering into her tear-soaked eyes, “but we can have it now.”

Carol took his face carefully into both her hands and kissed him gently on the lips. The feelings of these emotions were so new to him and nervous energy shot through every limb. “I gotta go,” he said taking her hand but shuffling backwards, “but I'll be back tomorrow.”

Carol brushed his scruffy face with her hand and smiled up at him, “I'll be waiting.”

…..

The two men, two teenage boys and Winnie arrived at Lake Verne less than two hours after they left. When they arrived they scouted the area for walkers and a good place to set up camp. Lee spotted five of the undead stuck in the mud of a shallow swamp. As soon as the men were visible to the walkers they began to moan and try to break free from the muck that held them in place.

“You boys hurry and get over here. Your gonna have some target practice,” Daryl said. Carl and Noah hurried over to where Daryl and Lee were standing. “Noah, raise up your crossbow,” Daryl instructed, “take your time with your shot and don't you dare miss. I ain't gonna lose an arrow to the swamp.”

Noah raised his bow and looked at the crosshairs in his scope. He stood steadily with his finger on the trigger and inhaled and exhaled slowly. He pulled the trigger and the arrow went directly into the forehead of the walker. 

“Nice job, Noah,” Lee said slapping him on the back. “You're up to bat now, Carl.” Carl came and Daryl gave him the same instructions he gave Noah. Carl took down the next walker then handed the crossbow back to Noah. The boys alternated back and forth until all of the walkers had been put down. 

“Ya'll did good. Now you're gonna have to go and get those arrows back.” The boys groaned momentarily as they walked towards the swamp. “Quit your whining...you didn't think I was gonna fetch 'em for ya, did ya?” Daryl grinned.

After securing the area, they were ready to hunt. Deer, boar or fowl this time instead of corpses. They walked around the woods surrounding the lake and it didn't take long before they found a small herd of deer. 

“Alright,” Daryl whispered, “the three of us are going to take our shot at the same time. If we stagger the shots, we'll scare' em away and only get one.” 

Daryl quickly and quietly told the boys which deer to aim for. Daryl and Carl raised their crossbows and Noah raised the rifle. “You got them in your sights?” Daryl asked.

“Yeah,” Carl said.

“Yeah,” Noah echoed.

“Okay. I'm gonna count to three and then you'll shoot. One, two, three...” The three simultaneously pulled their triggers and fired. The loud gunshot rang through the air. They lowered their weapons and looked the 20 yards ahead of them. Three deer laid on the ground, dead.

“Wow!” Lee said. “That was incredible! You're all amazing shots!” 

Winnie ran ahead to the deer on the ground in front of them and sniffed at the fresh kill. “Don't worry Winnie, you'll get some too,” Carl reassured her as he ran behind her and scratched her behind her ears.

“Nice job boys. This hunt's gonna make for a good winter,” Daryl said. 

“You know,” Lee spoke up, “with this kill, we could be done hunting and do our fishing tonight instead. We could get home early.”

“That's not a bad idea,” Daryl said.

“Oh come on!” Carl said. “I've been looking forward to this overnight trip for a week. I don't want to leave early.”

“Yeah, me too,” Noah chimed in. “I was so excited to get outta that library for an entire day.”

Daryl looked over to Lee to get a read on what he was thinking. Lee nodded back at Daryl, “It's your call.”

“Yeah, okay we ain't gotta hurry back,” Daryl said. “Let's keep hunting.”

…..

Night had fallen and the four men sat around a small fire. Sure enough they had brought down two more deer. They talked about all the things they could make this winter with the meat. 

“I wonder if we could make beef stroganoff,” Carl said as his mouth watered.

“You mean deer stroganoff,” Noah corrected him with a smile.

“Yeah that's what I meant,” Carl chuckled. “My mom was the worst cook ever! She made these pancakes that were just awful, every Sunday. I wish I had a dog back then to feed them to,” Carl said patting Winnie on the back. “Anyhow, almost everything she cooked was not good but she made the best beef stroganoff. I asked her to cook it every week. Not just because it was so good but I knew if she cooked that once a week it would be at least one night we wouldn't have to eat something gross.”

“How about you Noah? Was your momma a good cook?” Lee asked.

“Oh yeah! She was a great cook! She made the best meatloaf...and fried chicken. And her doughnuts... don't get me started! Man my little brothers would beg her to make her doughnuts all the time. They were so good. She made 'em with applesauce and bacon and then covered 'em with maple glaze.”

Lee waved his hands in the air and laughed, “Alright, alright, stop! You don't have to go into all that detail. Apple bacon doughnuts! Dang, that sounds good!” Lee said, his mouth now watering too.

“I'd do anything for some of her cooking right now,” Noah said in a sullen voice, staring into the fire with watering eyes, “I miss my momma so much. I miss my brothers too.” 

No one spoke. They could have each said how much they missed their fallen, loved-ones too but that was already obvious and probably wouldn't bring much comfort to Noah. Winnie, sensing Noah's sudden, somber mood walked over to him and nuzzled her face onto his chest which brought a small smile to his face.

“Your mom would be real proud of you, Noah. Yours too Carl,” Lee said with confidence. “I know they're lookin' down at you boys right now thinking how you're making it. How you're surviving and learning and loving your friends and family.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” Noah said.

“I know so,” Daryl exclaimed. He poked at the embers with a long stick then threw the stick into the fire. “We should get to bed. We got a long day tomorrow and the fish start bitin' early.”

“A long day? Aren't we just fishing and going home?” Carl asked.

“Who do you thinks gonna butcher them five deer once we get home?” Daryl asked. “Ya'll are the ones that wanted to keep huntin'.”

“Oh...yeah,” Carl said. “Alright, guess I'll go to bed then.” Carl and Noah got up and went inside the RV.

Daryl and Lee sat around the fire and waited for it to die down. Lee looked up at Daryl, “Those are good boys in there. It's good all the things you're teaching them.”

“They gotta learn to take care of themselves. Anything could happen at anytime,” Daryl replied. “You're teaching them things too. That's important.”

“Some days I wonder if it really is. I think mostly I'm just helping these kids pass the time. It's no good to know anything about dead presidents if you can't even feed yourself.”

“They're both important. I never learned a lot of that stuff so I never made anything of my life. Never really got anywhere. Just pissed my life away. Drinkin'...gettin' into trouble.”

“Yeah but does any of that even matter now?”

“I guess not.”

“Whatever you did learn, it got you here right now. Now you're teaching it to those boys and to Liv. You're teaching them how to survive. Teaching history isn't gonna put food on the table. Writing essays isn't going to help you protect your family.”

“Well I guess maybe I'm finally doin' something right then.” Daryl stood up and picked up his crossbow. “I'll take the first watch. Get some sleep.”

“Sounds good,” Lee said getting up and stretching. “It'll be good to get an early start. Unlike those boys, I can't wait to get home.”

“Yeah me neither,” Daryl replied as Lee walked inside the RV. Daryl meant it too. As he climbed to the top of the RV, his mind drifted to Carol.

Maybe the reason Daryl always preferred to be out on his own, away from everybody was because he never had a real home. He didn't have anybody to go home to. But that had changed. Carol was his home now. He promised himself that when he came home to her, that he would give himself to her. He would give her all his heart and not hold things back, the way he had done. Carol knew there was a darkness in him, but it didn't matter. She loved him anyway. He wouldn't be afraid to let her see it. See it all. 

Daryl looked up at the stars and shivered in the coolness of the cloudless night. He turned around at a rustling noise coming from the woods behind him. He turned around expecting to see a walker. Instead, Daryl found himself looking at a large man with three others with him.

“Hello up there,” the man said with his hands raised, “I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Whatdya want?” Daryl asked with his crossbow raised, holding the man in his sights.

“We're out here looking for my family. They went missing about a week ago. We've been looking for them everywhere. We were making camp a few miles away and heard a gunshot. We saw your campfire and thought it might be them.”

“Whoever you're lookin' for, they ain't here,” Daryl said. A sense of déjà vu fell over him as he recalled having this similar conversation with Abraham and his friends several months ago. 

“Listen, my name is John and these are my friends. I know my wife and son are near here. Who's in the RV?” he asked.

“None of your damn business, that's who.”

“Well I think it is my business actually. You have my family in there, don't you?”

“Nah man. I have my family in there.”

“Jack!” John shouted as he ran to the RV. He swung the door open and Daryl shot his crossbow. It pierced through John's shoulder. John shot back. He fired his pistol and landed a bullet in Daryl's side. Daryl fell from the top of the roof of the RV and hit the ground. 

Lee, awoken by the gunshot, looked out the window and saw the strange men. He ran as fast as he could to the driver's seat of the RV and turned the key. Before he could put it in gear, he felt the cold metal of a gun on his temple.

“Get out of there!” Daryl yelled through labored breaths as the rest of the men entered the RV. They ignored Daryl as they stepped over him and walked inside.

They pulled Carl and Noah out of their beds and dragged them out. Lee followed behind them with the gun still pointed at his head. Winnie growled and lunged at one of the men. She ripped at his leg and tore a chunk of flesh off. He screamed. Another man kicked Winnie in the ribs as hard as he could. She yelped and fell to the ground. The bitten and bleeding man pulled his gun out and pointed at Winnie.

“No!” Carl shouted.

John grabbed the mans arm, “Don't you shoot that dog,” he said calmly,“I want that dog. Now wrap up your leg and stop your crying.

“Now listen,” John said kneeling down and looking straight at Daryl, “the way you're acting, I know you know where my wife and son are, and you're going to tell me.”

“I told you before, I don't know who you're talking about.”

“You're lying,” John said as he shoved his finger into Daryl's bullet wound. Daryl screamed out in agony. “I know this hurts. Tell me where they are. Now.”

“Go to hell,” Daryl said. 

“Well this is going nowhere. If you're going to sit there and lie to me, then I'm just going to put you out of your misery.” John pulled out his gun and put the barrel inside Daryl's mouth. He looked over to Lee, Carl and Noah. “Say goodbye to your friend.”


	26. Contra

Contra

“Don't do it!” Noah pleaded. “We know where your family is. Let us go and I'll tell you...please!”

“Don't you lie to me boy!” John replied looking over at Noah. “You lie to me and I'll shoot him then rip your skinny arms off.”

“No...I swear, I'm not lying. Your wife and your son were with us just a few days ago but they left...I swear!”

John took the gun out of Daryl's mouth and pointed it at Noah, “Stand up.” Noah stood in front of John. John towered over the 19 year old by a good six inches and must have weighed 70 or 80 pounds more. “Now you tell me what you know right now. I'll decide if you're lying or not. Tell me who I'm looking for exactly?”

“What do you mean?” Noah asked.

“Describe them to me so I'll know you're telling the truth about meeting them.”

“Your wife, uh Clare: she's short, pretty with dark brown hair. Your son is Jack. He's skinny with brown hair, maybe five or six. Then Aaron, he has short curly brown hair and Heath is a black guy...dreads and glasses. I promise, they were all there.”

“Okay okay. I'm glad you know how to tell the truth unlike that lying piece of garbage on the ground,” John said glancing over at Daryl. “Now tell me where they are.”

“I actually...I...I don't know where they are right now,” Noah stammered, “but they were at our home just a few days ago. We helped them. We gave them food and put your wife's arm in a cast. We helped them find a car then they left.”

“And just where are you good people callin' home?” 

“Noah, don't tell him shit!” Daryl yelled.

“I don't believe anyone was talking to you,” John said calmly turning his attention and his gun back towards Daryl.

“It don't matter where we live. They ain't there anymore,” Daryl yelled.

John, who had remained placid through the entire exchange, flew into a rage. He stomped over to Daryl and kicked him. First in the ribs then in the head. “”I'LL DECIDE WHAT MATTERS!!!” he screamed as he kicked. He bent down and grabbed Daryl by the collar of his jacket and rammed his fist into his jaw. He punched him again and again. Daryl's eyes finally rolled to the back of his head as he slipped into unconsciousness.

“STOP! STOP! You're gonna kill him!” Lee shouted.

John threw Daryl back to the ground and hurried back to Noah. He whipped Noah around like a rag doll and took his left arm in both his hands. With nearly no effort at all, John snapped the bone in Noah's forearm. Everyone winced, even John's men, as they heard the bone break. Noah cried out in excruciating pain as he fell to the ground holding his mangled arm. 

“SHUT UP!!!” John yelled kicking Noah repeatedly. Suddenly, he stopped then took several steps backwards. 

John threw his hands in the air. He took several deep breaths. He straightened his jacket and combed his hair back with his fingers coolly. “Whoa, I am sorry about that. Really, I am.” John looked around at everyone self-consciously. “Sometimes I can really lose my temper'” he chuckled. “Clare's been so good to me all these years but I'm pretty sure she ran off with my boy because I can lose my cool sometimes. I don't mean to, it just happens. Please, please, in all sincerity, forgive me for the outburst. I'm so embarrassed.”

Lee looked at John with horror and confusion. 

“I know. I know. I've made a real fool of myself here. What can I say? I'm a sick man. I have some real ugly mental health issues. I can be real crazy sometimes,” he said twirling his finger in circles near his temple. “I haven't been on my meds in months. Then all the dead people walking around and the collapse of society, it's just really jumbled things in my mind and I'm just not myself. Again, I'm so sorry.”

John walked over to Carl. He put his hands on his hips then smiled at the teen. He pulled a knife out of his belt and swiftly put it up to Carl's eye. Carl didn't flinch. John looked directly at Lee and spoke in a calm tone. “Let's try something different. I'm going to stay calm, I promise. You tell me right now where your home is and I'll let this youngster keep both his eyes. That's a good deal for everyone, right?”

Lee stared back at John with his mouth hanging open.

“Please,” John said, “I really don't want to embarrass myself again.”

“Don't tell him, Lee,” Carl said without fear.

“You know what kid? The neighbor lady down the street from me is blind. Or at least she was blind – she's probably dead now. Anyhow she got around just fine without being able to see and I bet you'll be okay to.” John said as he slowly pressed the knife across Carl's eyebrow. Carl squirmed in John's powerful arms as blood dripped from above his eye. “Hey, you're not as tough as you sound. Now please, don't interrupt me. I really don't like that.”

“Yeah, yeah...I'll tell you. I promise. Just please don't hurt anyone else.” Lee said in surrender. “We're in Waycross. We're at the library there.”

“Is that true? Because if we drive all the way there and I find out you weren't telling the truth, I'm going to take out both this kid's eyes. I'll probably be so angry, through no fault of my own, that I'll take out everyone's eyes. That'll be a huge mess and then I'll just feel bad again.”

“I'm telling you the God's honest truth,” Lee said trembling.

John let out a heavy sigh, pulled the knife away from Carl's eye and stood up, “Okay then. Let's go!”

…..

As eight o'clock approached, Michonne was busily getting ready for her date with Rick. While Rick was still on his watch, Michonne recruited Abraham to help haul two outdoor chaise lounges up to the roof. She brought up blankets, pillows and candles. They would feast on spaghetti with deer meatballs. Carol had even made fresh bread.

Michonne cleaned herself up and slipped a gray, short-sleeved, cotton maxi dress over her head. She fixed her hair in the mirror and sprayed a small amount of perfume on. Eternity. It was her favorite perfume before the turn and it still was after. As she smelled the fragrance, she closed her eyes and sighed. Life was feeling more and more normal with each passing day.

Michonne opened her eyes and looked over at her sword, hanging in it's sheath on a hook. It occurred to her that it had been a few days since she had even touched it. It was the longest she'd ever gone in the last two years. 

The night Michonne told Rick they were expecting, Rick pleaded with her to not go on any more runs. It was a relief to Rick that Michonne didn't argue with him. She knew she was fine to still go outside the library. She knew she was as capable and strong as she had ever been but she wanted to give Rick the peace he desperately craved. The peace she felt he deserved. She agreed that instead of runs, she would start taking extra watch duties or help Bob and Carol or anyone else that needed it, within the library walls. She would spend more time with Judith and Carl.

Michonne walked over to her sword, picked it up and put it over her shoulder. She swiftly pulled it out and whipped it over her head and through the air. She looked in the mirror as she wielded her sword around skillfully and gracefully. She had never once seen what she looked like with her weapon.

“What are you doing?” Rick said from the top of the stairs.

Surprised by his presence, Michonne spun around and aimed her sword in Rick's direction.“Trying to stay in practice. I'm obviously already losing my touch because I didn't even hear you come up the stairs.”

“I've seen what you can do with that thing. I don't think you have to worry.” Rick motioned for Michonne to hand him the sword, “Can I see it?” 

Michonne placed the handle in his hands and backed away. Rick backed even further away then swung the sword back and forth through the air. She smiled admiringly at him as she watched him.

“Do you want to start taking that out on runs?” she asked. “You look like you know what you're doing with it.”

“No,” he said as he let the sword relax in his hands. “It belongs with you. If I'm out there and you're in here with the kids, I'd never want you to be without it. I just wanted to see how it feels.” Rick walked back towards her and slipped it carefully into the sheath on her back. “I'm not gonna lie, you look pretty sexy wearing a dress with your sword on your back.”

Michonne smiled, “I just wanted to be ready for our date,” she said returning her sword to the hook. “I'm gonna take our food up there so hurry before it gets cold. Get cleaned up and meet me up there,” Michonne said.

“Yes ma'am!”

Michonne only had to wait five minutes for Rick. He climbed through the hatch and walked over to her side, the record player in hand.

“You brought the record player!” she beamed.

“I even did you one better,” he slipped two albums into her hands. “I figure if you can give Johnny Cash a chance, then I should do the same, so I brought Bob Marley and Stevie Wonder.” He set the record player and albums down on a small table.

Michonne wrapped her hands behind his neck and moved her lips towards his. She smiled and talked between kisses. “I'm impressed. You're good at dates.”

“Thanks. It's good to know I haven't forgotten everything.”

“You ready for some cold spaghetti?” Michonne asked as Rick placed an album on the turntable.

“Of course,” Rick replied. They sat down with their plates at a small bistro table with candles atop. 

After dinner, Rick pulled the two chase lounges as close together as they could go. Michonne reclined on her side and Rick placed a blanket over her and sat down. He laced his fingers through hers and let out a sigh.

“What are you thinking about?” Michonne asked as she stared into his blue eyes.

“Everything of course,” Rick moved his hand up and down her arm. He stopped at the scar that was left by the gunshot wound from their terrible first night at the cottage. He fixed his eyes on the scar and ran his finger in small circles around it. “What would my life look like if you hadn't made it that night?”

It was a rhetorical question. It was more of Rick thinking out loud than an actual inquiry but Michonne answered anyway. “You'd be fine.”

“Maybe.”

“You and Carl would have made it to Waycross. You still would have found your brother and Mikey dead and you still would have found Liv alive. The rest of our family still would have made it here with Judy and you'd still be happy.”

“Something would have been missing. I wouldn't have just gotten over you and moved on.”

“You would have. We've all lost something but we've gone on. We don't really have a choice.”

“We have a choice.” Rick replied.

“No we don't. People like you and me, we don't have a choice. It's not in us to give up.”

“You're right,” Rick said. He moved his hand from the scar on her arm to her stomach. His hand gently caressed the lower part of her abdomen where their baby was just starting life. “It's not in us to give up. But I know I wouldn't have just moved on without you. It would have taken a piece of me. I know because every time I'm away from you, I feel like a part of me is still here.”

“Well now a part of you will always be with me.” Michonne placed her hand on Rick's hand as it continued to hold on to her womb. “Rick, I know you're worried about me having this baby, but the more I think about it, the more peace I have with it. I'm not worried, I'm just...I'm just happy. I'm happy that we're giving Judy a little sister or brother. I'm happy that we're living and not just surviving. I'm happy that we're creating a life instead of taking one. This is right and good.”

Rick moved down and rested his head on her stomach. As they lay their in the still and tranquil coolness, “Three Little Birds” began to play. Michonne laughed and Rick looked at her confused. “What?”

“Don't tell me you've never heard this song,” Michonne said in all seriousness.

“I don't know...maybe. Why?”

“This is one of my very favorite songs ever. It's 'Three Little Birds'. See, even Bob Marley is telling you not to worry,” she laughed. 

Rick laid his head back down on her stomach, “Sing it to me.” Michonne ran her fingers through his dark curls and sang along with the music in her serene and beautiful voice:

Don't worry about a thing  
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright  
Singing' don't worry about a thing  
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright

Rise up this mornin'  
Smiled with the risin' sun  
Three little birds   
Pitch by my doorstep  
Singin sweet songs  
Of melodies pure and true  
Saying, this is my message to you

Singing don't worry, 'bout a thing  
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright  
Singing don't worry, 'bout a thing  
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright

Rick moved back up and next to Michonne and pulled her close to him. He held her securely in the crook of his chest and arms. “I can be happy. If you're happy, I can be happy too. When I know I'm coming home to you, it calms me. When I know Judy or Carl are with you, I have peace. I'm happy knowing you are the one carrying our baby. I just have to undo some of the last couple years and remember to just breathe. I know I don't gotta worry. I know no matter what, we'll be alright. I do.”

“Yeah, we will be,” Michonne said closing her eyes and taking the moment in.

For a few brief moments, Rick and Michonne had fallen asleep. A cool breeze opened Rick's eyes. He heard the sound of a motor. Suddenly, they both sat up.

“Did you hear that?” Rick asked.

“Yeah. Someone drove up and parked out front.” They both leaped up from where they were reclining and ran to the brick ledge on the side of the roof. They looked down and saw the RV parked out front. “They're back early,” Michonne said with a sigh of relief.

“Something's wrong,” Rick exclaimed. “Where is Daryl? He's not on his bike. He's not with them.” 

They both hurried down the roof hatch, out of the closet and down the stairs. Glenn and Abraham saw them running and followed behind them. “What's going on?” Glenn asked.

“Daryl, Lee and the boys are back, but something's not right,” Rick exclaimed. They ran through the library and through the front door. Michonne waited inside the foyer peering through the window while Rick, Glenn and Abraham ran out and towards the RV. As they approached, the door of the RV swung open. Rick readily had his hand on his gun as he watched Carl being shoved out the door and onto the sidewalk, blood dripping down his face. He ran towards his son and knelt down next to him.

“Carl, are you alright?” Rick asked frantically as he quickly examined his face. Before Carl could answer, a burly man stepped out and looked down onto Rick. Rick's focus promptly went from Carl to the man towering above him.

“Well hello there. My name is John and I think you have something that belongs to me.”

.....

"Three Little Birds" written by Bob Marley


	27. Captive

Captive

“I'm alright, Dad, it's just a cut,” Carl reassured his father. “Daryl's been shot though. He was shot in the stomach. I'm not sure if he's even alive. He's not conscious.”

Rick stood up swiftly and drew his gun. He cocked his head slightly as he pointed it inches from John's face. Despite his opponent's towering size and menacing demeanor, Rick didn't waver. “Where's Daryl? Where are Noah and Lee?” Rick asked in an icy tone. 

John brandished his gun, a Sig Sauer P226, near Rick, visibly unthreatened.“Hey, hey friend, you got the wrong idea here. We're just bringing your friends back to you,” he said innocently.

“I know exactly who you are and we're not friends.”

“Well I don't know who you think I am but honestly, I'm just a guy looking for his wife and son. Your people told me they're here.”

“Well they're not. If you're here to bring me my friends, then let them come out. Now.”

“Now hold on. I want to see my family first. Bring them out here and then we'll talk.”

“I told you, they're not here. They were here. We helped them and they left.”

“No. No,” John replied in a calm but paranoid tone. “They're here and I know it. You're keeping them here because you want them for yourself. Now let me come in and get them and I'll leave.”

“I'm not letting you take one step through those doors,” Rick said adamantly. “I get that you think they're here, but you're mistaken,” Rick said gravely.

“Are you calling me a liar?” John clenched his fists and veins began to bulge in his reddening face and neck. His lips pursed into an angry grimace as he became increasingly agitated. “You have my wife and son here. You're holding them against their will. You tell me they're not here and then you call me a liar? If you don't go and get them right now, I'm gonna put a bullet through this kid's skull!”

Rick looked John up and down. When he worked as a sheriff's deputy, he had his share of dealings with mentally unstable people. Clare told them that he was unmedicated and his size, agitation and paranoia made it obvious how big of a threat he was. Rick wanted nothing more than to subdue John and the volatile situation. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that Glenn and Abraham were still behind him. Their weapons were drawn and they still had his back. “Look,” Rick said lowering his gun, “just let me see my friends and then I'll tell you everything I know about your wife and son.”

“Alright. That's reasonable.” John opened the door to the RV, “Devin, you and the guys bring them out.” Lee and Noah walked out of the RV with guns pointed at their necks. Rick watched Noah holding his disfigured arm. The color had gone out of his face and sweat dripped from his brow.

“What did you do to him?” Rick asked, trying his best to keep his cool.

“It's like I told your friends, I'm not always the best about keeping my temper in check. Don't worry, it's just a fractured arm. He'll be fine.” 

“Now Daryl,” Rick said.

“Now Daryl's the one you might want to worry about. I'm not sure he's able to walk out on his own. He's lost a lot of blood and is in pretty bad shape,” John said casually. “I will admit, I did shoot him, but you can't really hold that one against me because he shot me first,” John said as he pointed at the wound on his shoulder.

“Let me go in and get him,” Rick demanded.

“Hmm, I don't think he's going to be as comfortable laying on the sidewalk as he is in the bed back there. I think we should leave him where he is.”

“If he's shot, then I'm gonna take him inside. It's not up for discussion.”

“Everything is up for discussion,” John replied. “Why would I let you take him inside if you're not going to let me inside? I don't think you're holding as many cards as you think, friend”

“Listen, if you let me take him inside, I'll get our doctor to come out and treat your shoulder.”

John looked at his shoulder and the blood that was still slowly running from the wound. “Honestly, it's not that bad. Practically a bee sting. I'm obviously a bit tougher than that whiny bitch, Daryl.”

“What's it going to take? If Daryl's hurt, I need to get him inside.”

“The only way he's coming in is if you let us all in.”

Rick stood there considering the proposition. If Daryl was as bad as Carl and John both said, it was urgent that he get the help he needed. He had lost so many people that the thought of losing Daryl was almost incomprehensible. He looked through the small window of the main library doors. He could see Michonne staring back out. She hadn't opened the doors. She knew the importance of protecting everyone inside.

Rick couldn't do it. Carl and the others' lives were already at risk because of this deranged psychopath. There was no chance he was letting him anywhere near Judith, Michonne, Liv or the rest of his family.

“No,” Rick said stoically. “I told you you weren't coming inside and I meant it.”

“Well then I guess we'll all just wait for your friend bleed to death. No skin off my nose.”

…..

Rosita continued to keep watch from the attic. She saw the RV pull up to the library and at first, thought nothing of it. But when she saw the large stranger throw Carl onto the ground, she ran downstairs and called Carol, Morgan, Bob and Eugene to come upstairs. As they all gathered around the window to assess the situation, their alarm grew. 

Carol immediately took control, “Rosita, you go up to the roof and keep watch from up there. Take the walkie and let me know right away if anything changes. You have the sniper rifle and you're a good shot. Morgan, Bob, go to the armory and get get guns for yourselves and extras for the rest of us. Go and stay at the front door. Keep an eye on things from down there. Eugene, you come with me. We're going to round up the kids and get them to a safe place with Maggie and Sasha,” Carol looked each one of them in the eye, “Whoever's out there is not friendly. The man threw Carl onto the ground. Carl had blood all over his face. Who knows where the others are,” she exclaimed. “All I'm trying to say is that if you need to take a shot at one of these people, don't hesitate. I'm sure they won't.”

Everyone listened to Carol and began to do as they were instructed. Morgan looked at her with skepticism. “Morgan, are we on the same page here?” Carol asked. “You're not going to tell me that you can't do this – that you don't want to take a life, are you?”

“I think telling you that would be a big mistake right now.”

“Yes, it would,” Carol answered.

“We're on the same page, Carol,” he replied then made his way swiftly to the armory.

Carol and Eugene ran downstairs and gathered Maggie, Liv, Holly and Clem. They took them into the conference room that Sasha used as her bedroom. She was asleep with Judith next to her. 

“Sasha, wake up,” Carol said quietly. “There are people outside. They're dangerous. You and Maggie keep all the kids in here with the door locked.”

Bob ran into Sasha's room and handed Sasha, Maggie and Liv handguns. “No matter what, don't open this door,” Bob said. He turned to leave but then spun back around. He wrapped his free arm around Sasha and pulled her close. He kissed her intensely and then let her go, “I love you Sash,” he said

“I love you too. Now be careful,” she replied desperately. Bob and Carol left the room and the door was locked behind them.

Carol went to the front door where Michonne, Morgan and Bob watched and waited. She peered out and saw that Lee and Noah had exited the RV. “Where's Daryl?” Carol asked.

“I don't know,” Michonne replied. “Only Carl, Lee and Noah came out.

Sheer panic washed over Carol. She felt like the walls were crashing in on her. Was Daryl in the RV? Did they leave him behind, miles away? Was he even alive? “What do you mean you don't know? Where is he?” she asked anxiously.

Michonne put her arm around Carol's shoulder, “I'm not sure but...”

Carol burst through the front doors and ran down the steps. “Where's Daryl?” she shouted unafraid, walking towards the stranger with her gun pointed squarely in his direction.

“Now take it easy, darlin'. There's no need to take that tone.”

“Tell me where he is now before I kill you!”

“Carol calm down,” Rick said soothingly.

“Is Daryl your sweetheart? Your husband? Boyfriend? What?”

“Where is he?”

“It's rough when the man, or woman, you love is being held captive and you're not allowed to see them. Maybe now you folks know how I feel,” John said as he placed himself in front of the door of the RV.

“He's in there?” Carol asked. “Please, please, let me see him...please!” Carol begged as she began to cry hysterically.

“No,” John said cruelly.

Carol walked back to Rick exasperated and leaned her head on his chest. Rick hugged his dear friend trying to comfort her as she cried.

“Like I said before, you can see Daryl when you let me see Clare and Jack.”

Rick filled Carol in on the situation, “I told him they're not here but he doesn't believe me.”

Carol turned back towards John, “They're not here, I swear!” 

“Another liar,” John said angrily. “We can make this real simple, let me inside to see for myself and we'll see who's telling the truth.”

“Carol,” Rosita's voice came crackling from the walkie talkie.

“What is it?” Carol answered into her walkie, trying to regain her composure.

“There's a huge heard about two blocks away from here. They're headed this way.”

***To anyone still reading this: Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I kind of felt like maybe nobody was still reading this. But if you are, thank you! There are about a dozen more chapters to post to finish this story out. Hope you enjoy them!***


	28. It's All Fun and Games

It's All Fun and Games

“You led a herd of walkers here!” Rick shouted at John.

“Right, we led them here,” John retorted. “They go where they go and there ain't nothin' nobody can do about it.”

“We haven't had more than four or five walkers come through since we've lived here. Did you make sure nothing was following you?”

“Whether we did or not doesn't really matter now, does it?” John said nonchalantly. “Looks like we're going to have a pretty big crowd here soon.” 

Rick grabbed the walkie from Carol, “Rosita, how many are there?”

“Hundreds at least, but probably more. The moon is pretty bright tonight and I have a clear view of where they start but not where they end.”

As the mob of walkers moved in on them, they all began to hear the faint sound of the distant groans. 

“We need to hurry and get inside!” Glenn said to his friends.

In an instant, John pulled Carl in front of him and placed his gun at his temple, “Well this sure did escalate! I think now I'm going to have to insist that you let us in. We all go inside and live or we all stay out here and die. If nothing else, the kid is staying with me, inside or outside.” 

John left Rick with no choice and there was no more time to debate. If he wanted the herd to just walk right past the library, they had to get inside and quiet everything down quickly. If they drew attention to themselves or the building, the walkers would try their best to get inside. He couldn't have that.

“Alright. Alright. You can come inside but if you even try to hurt anybody, I'm going to drag you back outside and feed you to these things.”

“You talk a mighty big game friend, but I'm the one with the gun to the kid's head,” John said confidently. 

“I'm not talking game, friend. You hurt him you die. It's that simple,” Rick boldly replied. “As for Daryl, me and Carol are going into the RV and bringin' him out.”

John nodded with his gun still against Carl's head. He moved aside from the door and Rick and Carol hurried inside. They ran to the back and saw Daryl laying on the bed. There was blood everywhere and Daryl looked unconscious.

“Daryl!” Carol screamed at him. He didn't move. She took his face in her hands and screamed through her tears again, “Daryl!!!” Daryl's eyes opened scarcely then closed again. Rick placed his fingers on his neck and felt a fast but weak pulse under his clammy skin.

“He's alive but barely. He's not going to be able to walk – we have to carry him in.” With a loud grunt, Rick picked Daryl up and hurled him over his shoulder. He ran through the RV as quickly as possible and out the door. Abraham ran to Rick and helped him carry Daryl the rest of the way into the library. They brought him to a table and laid him down as quickly and gently as possible. 

All the others who had been outside, had finally come in, including John and his three men. Their guns were still pointed at Carl, Lee and Noah. Glenn, Abraham, Morgan and Eugene aimed their guns at the strangers in a standoff.

Bob ran to Daryl's side and hastily tore open his shirt.“What happened?” Bob asked.

“Gunshot wound in his stomach,” Lee yelled back. “It happened almost three hours ago.”

Bob examined him. He listened to his heart with his stethoscope as Michonne took his blood pressure, something she had been practicing since Bob began teaching her. 

“His pressure is 47 over 25,” Michonne told Bob.

Bob explored Daryl's distended abdomen with his hands, then stopped. “He's bleeding internally. He's lost a lot of blood.” Bob explained to the group.

“Well then he needs a transfusion, right?” Carol asked frantically. “You were showing Michonne and Morgan how to do transfusions, right? You need to do it...now!”

“Carol, I can't. I don't know his blood type and it wouldn't matter if I did. Even if I did a transfusion, that wouldn't stop the internal bleeding. The gunshot caused way too much damage and I can't fix it.”

“You can try!” Carol yelled. 

“I can't,” Bob replied as tears came from his own eyes. “There's nothing I can do. I'm...I'm sorry.”

“No!!!” Carol screamed. “No! He can't die! This isn't what's supposed to happen!”

Morgan came to Carol and pulled her into a comforting embrace. She buried her face into Morgan's chest as her mind spun. Everything felt like a nightmare and she just needed to wake up. She pulled away from Morgan and went back to Daryl. She clung to him desperate for him to come back for her but realized that was impossible. 

…..

Every light in the library had been extinguished. Everyone stood still. No one spoke. Nothing could be heard besides the white noise of the dead droning on as they walked down the streets of Waycross. The building had become deathly still as Rick and his family and John and his men waited for the herd to pass. 

Rick looked over at Daryl, his brother, laying on the table barely hanging on to this life. Carol sat on a chair next to the table, covered in Daryl's blood. Her sobs had subsided and she rested her head on his chest, waiting. 

Rick turned his attention to Bob who was quietly wrapping Noah's arm in a bandage after setting the bone back in place. 

Rick watched Carl, his face still covered in blood, with John's gun to the back of his neck.

They had created a home. They had created harmony and even happiness. Then in an instant, this animal had turned their lives upside-down and shattered what they had made. As Rick looked around at his family, a pulsating fury thrashed through his body. His face became contorted with anger and he clenched his fists. He took a deep breath and relaxed.

“John,” Rick said calmly, “I think it's time we stopped playing games. I'll take you where your wife and son are.”

“I knew they were here,” he said indignantly. “I knew all of you were lying to me. Take me to them now.”

“I need an act of good faith before I do that,” Rick said. “I need you to take your guns off my people. After what you've done to Daryl and Noah...after we let you in here, you owe us something.”

“You think I owe you something?” 

“Yes, you do. And if you want me to take you to your family, you need to let my friends go.”

“Tell me where they are and I'll let them go, I promise.”

Rick looked around once again and saw that all his friends were well-armed. He knew they were capable and smart. He didn't have to manage them and tell them what to do. They were survivors, each one. Survivors with good instincts. He could trust that if things went badly, they would make the right calls.

“Alright. I'll tell you where they are but I'm coming with you.”

“Fine,” John agreed.

“They're on the roof,” Rick stated.

“The roof?” John questioned. “What are they doing up there?”

“We have small living quarters up there. It's just a shed really – locked and secured though,” Rick lied. “Clare, Jack, Heath and Aaron have been in there for a few days now. We've been keeping them locked in there until we know for sure we can trust them. Don't worry, they've been well-fed and taken care of. We reset your wife's arm and put it in a cast. It got broken somehow,” Rick said staring John down.

John looked at Rick for a moment, then glanced over at his comrades. “Lower your weapons,” he instructed them. “I'm going upstairs to get Jack and Clare. When I come back down, we'll be on our way...provided all these walkers have moved on out of town.”

Before Rick began to walk upstairs he looked over at Michonne. He stared into her deep brown eyes and nodded. She nodded back. That's how it had always been with them. The two of them could just peer into the other's eyes and read what the other was thinking. In just one look, Rick conveyed to his wife, that he would be fine, that he would take care of the situation. She reciprocated with a knowing glance and nod of her own that said she trusted him, that she would do her part, that everything would work out the way it was supposed to.

Rick turned away and led John upstairs. John began to follow but then turned back around. He grabbed Carl's arm and put his gun to his head once again. “I think the kid should come with us. You know, just so I can have some insurance.”

“No,” Rick said. “He stays down here.”

John studied Rick then Carl then Rick again. “Is this your kid?” John asked.

Rick said nothing.

“Your silence says everything. This is your kid. Now I definitely want him to come with us.”

“No. Leave him here!” Rick demanded.

“As an 'act of good faith', I had my guys take their guns away from your friend's heads. Quid pro quo, friend,” John said tenaciously. “The kid's comin.” 

Rick walked up the first flight of stairs with John and Carl following behind him. He opened the door to the maintenance closet. He walked up the ladder to the roof hatch then opened it. Rick was unsure of what he was going to do exactly. He would wait for his moment. He hoped John would trip up at some point and then take advantage of whatever mistake he might make. 

The three of them were on the roof. Rosita was still keeping watch and Rick glanced at her. Rick pointed to the shed. “They're in there.” He reached into his pocket, “Dammit, I forgot the key. Rosita, hand me the walkie.” Rosita handed it to him. “Does anyone copy? I need someone to come up here and bring me the key to the shed.”

“I'll bring it right up,” he heard Morgan reply.

“I thought you said you don't like playing games,” John said to Rick with suspicion in his voice.

“I don't. There's a lot going on with my friend being kidnapped and shot and the herd out there. I made a mistake and forgot the key.”

“What's your name, friend?” John asked curiously.

“Rick Grimes.”

“Rick Grimes? You're still introducing yourself with your surname huh?” John laughed.

“It's who I was before and that hasn't changed,” Rick replied.

“Well a lot of things have changed, Rick Grimes. Last names don't matter no more. What you did before don't matter. Where you lived, what kind of car you drove, your favorite football team...none of it matters. Only thing that matters now is if you can make it.” John peered over at Rick and smiled, “Hmm, what did you do before all this? I bet you were a teacher before all this. No wait, you worked in an office doing insurance claims, that's it. Or maybe a manager at an Applebee's...or was it Chili's?” John sneered. 

“You got it,” Rick said callously, staring back at him. “You got a real good read on me, John.”

“Not sure how you managed to make it this far, Rick Grimes. A lot of luck, I'm sure. They don't really train you for combat at Chilis, do they?” John laughed again.

“Rosita, what's that herd look like? Is it thinning out?” Rick asked, keeping his eyes fixed on John and Carl.

“They're still moving through. They haven't noticed us but there's still a lot more coming,” Rosita answered.

John casually walked to the ledge and looked over the side. His attention moved from Rick and Carl to the herd below. Rick knew this was his moment. He drew his gun and fired towards John. The bullet tore through John's cheek. He reached up to his face and held his hand onto the bloody mass of flesh hanging there. John fired back at Rick but Carl pushed John's arm as hard as he could. Rick fired his gun again and shot John through his chest. John started to fall back over the ledge. He grabbed onto Carl's arm and began to pull him over with him. Rick and Rosita both ran towards the two of them and wrestled Carl out of John's hands. Carl fell to the ground on the roof and Rick pushed John over the ledge but with one final thrust, John grabbed Rick's collar and pulled him over the ledge of the library roof with him. Rick and John both dropped down the two stories to the ground below where the voracious mob of corpses walked by.


	29. The High Cost of Living

The High Cost of Living

Carol's head rested on Daryl's chest. It had been a very long time since Carol prayed. She wasn't sure if she stopped praying because she was angry with God or if she thought there was no one there to be angry with. Either way, she found herself calling out to God again for the first time in over a year. She prayed for a miracle. She prayed that Daryl would get up from the table and be fine. She prayed that all this might be a nightmare. Not just the last hour, but the last few years. She prayed, pleaded, bargained and hoped that maybe God would spare this man that she loved. She knew there would never be a happily ever after, but she thought maybe if Daryl somehow survived, there would be a reckoning to all this. 

Morgan walked back over to her and gave her a glass of water. He had a wet rag in his hands and gently cleaned the blood off her face. “I'm sorry, Carol,” he said with tenderness in his voice. She appreciated the simplicity and kindness of Morgan's words.

Carol took several gulps of the water and set the glass down on the floor next to her. “Thank you Morgan,” she replied.

“I know how close you are to him. I know how much you love him,” Morgan said looking at Daryl. Carol looked up shamefully into Morgan's face, feeling a betrayal towards him. “Carol, you don't have to deny it or pretend that you don't love him for my sake. I don't want you to do that. I care about you too much for you to do that. I've always known how you've felt about him. I got in the way of it and maybe I shouldn't have.”

“We're the same,” Carol replied. “Daryl and me, we're the same. It was easier for me to love him than to love myself. Loving him made me love myself again. Not again, actually. Loving him made me love myself for the first time.” Carol buried her face in her hands. “I'm not making any sense...I don't even know what I'm saying. It doesn't even matter now. He's going to die.”

Morgan put his arm around her and held her tightly while they waited. Carol had Daryl's hand in hers when she felt him stir. She immediately stood up, looked down into Daryl's face and lovingly moved his hair across his forehead. His eyes opened and closed then opened again. Morgan stood close by with his knife in his hands, ready to protect Carol from Daryl if he had turned.

“Carol?” Daryl said breathlessly.

“I'm here Daryl! I'm here!” she said holding his face in her hands. “I'm not going to leave. I'm here with you.”

“Carol...I'm gonna die, ain't I?”

Carol's head dropped to her chest. Stinging tears came back once again falling onto Daryl's cheeks as she stood above him. “I don't want to say goodbye to you Daryl. I don't want you to leave me...please, just don't leave me!”

“I wanna stay but we know that ain't gonna happen.” Daryl's eyes became heavy and closed again, “I'm glad I met you Carol. I never been in love my whole life until I met you. It was nice...”

…..

Rick was disoriented. His head hurt and he felt like maybe he had broken a rib or two. When Rick landed, his head slammed against John's. He fell the two stories from the roof of the library but fortunately had his fall broken by landing on top of John. He was thankful that the large beast had broken his fall but was in too much of a daze to get up right away. Rick moved slowly, pulling himself off of John. Hearing groans, he suddenly remembered how close the walkers were to him. He jumped up in pain, realizing their was something wrong with his kneecap too. As he began to hobble away, he felt a hand wrap around his ankle and pull him back down to the ground.

“Where do you think you're going, Rick Grimes?” John said laughing hysterically. 

Rick spun around. He couldn't believe his eyes. After being shot in the shoulder, face and chest, then falling the two stories down the side of the building, the hateful animal was still alive. Rick looked back at John and kicked him squarely in the face, landing the heel of his boot right on the gaping wound on John's cheek. John screamed out in pain but didn't release his grip on Rick. Rick kicked again and again, furiously before John finally let go.

John's loud cries and laughter were drawing attention from the herd. Rick lay on the ground exhausted and in pain as the mob of corpses approached. He watched as they swarmed John and fell on top of him. John continued to laugh and scream as he was being devoured. 

Rick tried to stand up to run but at least a dozen walkers surrounded him. With his gun in his hand, he fired into the skulls of several of the undead between him and the safety of the library. When his ammunition ran out, he began slamming the butt of his gun into their heads, pushing, kicking and doing anything to push through the horde. It was no use and Rick fell to the ground. The walkers gathered around him. He felt teeth baring down on him. He screamed out in pain as he watched the flesh being torn off of his hand. 

…..

Rosita had tried to pull Rick back over the ledge but her petite 110 pound frame was no match for the force of John's downward pull. She watched in horror as Rick fell down the side of the building to the mob of walkers below. For half of a second she panicked and froze as she stared at the two bodies on the ground. She felt Carl's hand tugging at her waist then looked over and saw him pulling the walkie talkie from her belt.

“It's Carl! Does anyone copy?” he yelled into the walkie.

“I'm here Carl,” Morgan answered.

“Listen, my dad just fell over the ledge of the roof. Someone needs to go out there and help him right now!”

“Okay, were' going out right now,” Morgan replied. “What about John?”

“He fell too. He pulled my dad over. I'm coming back down there!” Carl shouted through the walkie.

“No! You stay on the roof! You'll be safer up there!” Morgan yelled back.

“What about Judith?”

“She's locked in a room with Maggie, Sasha and the rest of the kids. We won't let anything happen to her...I promise. Just stay there.”

Michonne pulled her sword out of it's sheath and ran to the door and shouted to Morgan. “Ask Carl to tell you exactly where Rick is!”

“Carl tell me exactly where your dad is!”

“He's on the east side of the building, about 25 feet south of the main door,” they heard Carl clearly through the walkie.

“Who's coming with me?” Michonne asked anxiously. Morgan, Glenn and Abraham all ran to Michonne's side. 

“Ya'll ain't goin' nowhere,” John's man Devin shouted out. “We stay here and wait for that herd to pass.”

“Your man, John's out there too. He fell over the side of the roof. He's out there and needs help or he's dead too,” Morgan replied.

“Well he's on his own 'cause I ain't goin' out there to get him.”

“My husband's out there and I'm going to bring him in!” Michonne stated adamantly.

Devin shifted his gun from his holster and placed the muzzle at the back of Noah's head. “No one is goin' outside. If we open them doors, the herd will get in here and I ain't lettin' that happen.”

“We're going out there to get my husband!”

Devin opened his mouth to protest again. Before a word was uttered, a bullet went through his temple and his body collapsed to the ground. Everyone looked over to Carol to see her gun still pointed. She turned, then aimed at another of John's men and fired again. The second man fell dead to the ground. John's third man threw his gun in front of him realizing he was outnumbered and at their mercy. He threw his hands up. “Please don't kill me! I have kids. There ain't nobody to take care of them if I die. Please!” 

“Carol don't you shoot him,” Morgan told her. 

Carol lowered her gun, “Go! Go out and get Rick! Eugene, tie him up.”

Michonne ran through the doors with Glenn, Morgan and Abraham close behind. They ran towards Rick where he was surrounded by several walkers. They watched Rick as he fired his weapon then began to beat them with the butt of his gun. They watched as the walkers took him to the ground. Abraham fired dozens of rounds into the heads of the walkers hunched over Rick, carefully avoiding his friend on the ground. Glenn and Morgan went out ahead of where Rick was laying to keep any other walkers from approaching. Michonne swiftly ran her sword through the bodies and heads of the dead corpses. When she had finally killed them all, she tried desperately to pull the bodies off Rick and pull him out. Abraham came to her side and threw the walkers off like ragdolls. Rick was finally uncovered.

Michonne looked down at Rick in horror. The flesh on his hand was torn off and all Michonne could focus on was the bones in his fingers staring back at her. “He's been bit,” she said in a daze. “Oh God he's been bit.”

Abraham pulled Rick up from the ground. He threw Rick's arm over his shoulder and halfway carried him back towards the library. Glenn ran over to them and put Rick's other arm over his shoulder. They brought him to the front steps of the library and began to walk up.

“No Glenn, let go of him. Hold his arm out...pull on it,” Michonne directed as she cleaned the zombie gore off her sword. “Abraham, hold him up.” The men both did as instructed.

Michonne looked into Rick's eyes. They were heavy and hurting and Michonne felt a despair and hopelessness she hadn't felt since immediately after the prison fell. She raised her sword above her head and brought it down with force, cleanly slicing through Rick's wrist. Glenn dropped the half-eaten hand onto the ground and the four of them dragged him up the steps.

As Eugene opened the doors, the herd advanced towards the library. Abraham and Glenn carried Rick's limp body inside to safety with Michonne and Morgan right behind. 

Michonne was nearly at the top of the steps when she tripped on her maxi dress and fell to her knees. She felt the rotting hands grabbing at her dress and pulling on the fabric. Another hand wrapped around her ankle. She couldn't believe she had been stupid enough to wear a dress in the first place. It was more than just a wardrobe choice. It was a decision on how life was. By wearing the dress, she had become complacent. She had forgotten the dangers that could come unexpectedly at any second of the day. She had foolishly put indulgence over vigilance. The dress was an indulgence that she prayed wouldn't be the death of her.

Michonne rolled onto her back and ran her sword through the necks of the walkers grabbing at her. Morgan ran back to her and used his staff to knock the others off the steps. With one hand he smashed the heads of the corpses in and with the other, he pulled Michonne back to her feet.

Michonne and Morgan ran quickly through the doors of the library but dozens of walkers ran in behind them. Then a flood of the dead came inside. Carol, Bob, Lee, Eugene and Noah began firing on the herd. 

“Untie me!” John's only remaining accomplice begged. “Untie me now or I'll die!!” he screamed in terror. His screams only drew the walkers towards him and before anyone could help him, he was being torn into.

“Everybody, get up to the roof!” Michonne shouted. “Bob, get whatever tools you need to help Rick. We need to get the kids up there too!”

Everybody ran through the library in a frenzy. Glenn and Abraham carried Rick upstairs. Michonne, Lee and Eugene ran to the conference room where Maggie, Sasha and the children were. “Get the kids out of here and up to the roof! Hurry!” Lee yelled. 

Almost everybody was upstairs and making their way into the maintenance closet, then to the roof. 

“What about Daryl? We can't leave him!” Carol shouted. Michonne and Morgan ran to Carol as she tried to lift Daryl off the table. His body was unresponsive and heavy. Morgan slid Daryl off the table and threw Daryl's arm over his shoulder. Carol ran over to support him on the other side. They dragged him towards the stairs as Michonne sliced through walkers but the herd had moved quickly into the library and filled the space. The mob of corpses blocked the staircase and encircled the four of them.

“Let me go...let me go and get out of here,” Daryl mumbled through labored breaths.

“No!” Carol yelled back. “Michonne will get us through. Just hold on!”

“You're gonna make it Carol. Just don't look back...” Daryl pulled away from Morgan and Carol with all the strength he could muster and threw himself towards the walkers to the left of the staircase. “Go!” he screamed as he was engulfed by the herd.

“No!! Daryl no!!” Carol sobbed hysterically as Morgan fought to pull her away and up the stairs. Michonne continued to whip her sword through the undead. The three ran upstairs and towards the safety of the maintenance closet.

As they closed the closet door, they were horrified to hear Daryl's groans while the walkers ferociously tore him apart.


	30. Stay

Stay

When Michonne finally reached the security of the rooftop, she rushed over to Rick's side. He was laying on one of the chaise lounges that they were reclining on less than two hours earlier while on their date. Michonne couldn't believe what was happening. Nothing felt real. Daryl was dead and Rick was dying. Michonne was usually able to stay calm in these dire situations people often found themselves in these days, but now, her composure was nearly lost. From the moment she heard Carl through the walkie talkie saying that his dad had fallen from the roof she had been in a panic.

Rick had been right all along. They should be worried. They couldn't trust anyone. The glass was never half full. Her faith that she held onto so dearly was exhausted.

Eugene, Abraham and Morgan were working frantically to build a fire. They needed it to cauterize Rick's arm. Bob said that since there weren't enough bandages with them, cauterization would be the quickest and most effective way to stop the bleeding and kill any bacteria from the bite and amputation. 

Everyone who was able, tore the planter boxes apart to use as fuel for the fire. Glenn threw a small amount of gasoline from the rooftop generator, onto the fire to build up the flames. Once the fire was going strong, Morgan put the metal end of a shovel into the flames. After a few minutes, Abraham and Lee pulled the shirt being used to bind Rick's arm off of his wound and held his arm out straight and firm. A large amount of blood sprayed from his arm. Bob placed the red-hot shovel onto the stump. Rick had been in and out of consciousness but became fully alert when the hot metal pressed into his wound. He roared in pain as he felt, smelled and listened to his own flesh burning. Abraham and Lee held him in place until he finally passed out from the pain and shock.

Carl stood still staring straight ahead at his father, unable to look away from the barbaric procedure. Holly walked up to Carl's side and laced her fingers through his. Winnie followed and ran to his other side and nudged Carl's hand with her wet nose. Carl didn't even realize anyone was touching him. 

Michonne began to cry unabashedly as she watched Rick in disbelief. Carl ran to her side and threw his arms around her. Carl was crying too. “Michonne, he's not going to make it? What are we going to do? Me and Judith...we can't lose him too! Judith never knew my mom and if he dies, Judith and the baby will never know him. This can't happen again.”

Michonne held onto Carl tightly as they cried together. She had never seen him cry. She'd never even seen him scared. Michonne came back to her senses. She remembered telling Rick that she needed him to have faith – that it couldn't just be her. In this moment, Carl needed that from her. She pulled away and took Carl's face into her hands. She wiped his tears from his cheeks and looked him in the eyes. “No Carl,” she stated stoically. “He's strong and he's not going to die. He's going to get through this. We're going to get through this.”

“You don't know that,” Carl replied still crying.

“Whether I know it or not, that's what I'm going to believe,” she replied. “Do you remember asking me if I believed in God, back at the cottage?” Carl nodded. “You said to me that with all the bad things happening it doesn't make sense to believe in God. Do you remember what I told you?”

“You said,'Now is when it makes the most sense.'”

“Carl, I have faith in God. Do you wanna know why?” Carl looked at her awaiting her next words. “Because what else would I have faith in? Where else would I go? If I gave my faith up, I don't think I'd want to go on.” Michonne pulled Carl back into her motherly embrace and held him. “It's okay if you're not there. I just want you to know why I am.” 

“Can we pray for him?” Carl asked earnestly. “I'm not there yet and I don't know what to believe, but I don't know what else to do.”

Michonne took Carl by the hand and walked over to Sasha who was holding Judith in her arms. “Thank you Sasha for keeping her safe.” Michonne held her hands out to Judith. The toddler reached out to her mother and Michonne brought her into her chest hugging her tightly. Michonne lead Carl and Judith to a corner of the roof away from the others. The three held each other as Michonne prayed for her husband and the father of her three children.

…..

Morgan looked down over the ledge. The herd had mostly passed on through town but their were still a few straggling along and way too many in the library to try to leave the safety of the roof. They decided to stay up there for the night. The roof had always been their contingency plan if anything should happen inside the library. There was water, food, blankets and other supplies stored in the roof's shed for this possibility.

Bob felt that Rick was stable enough for them to wait it out until morning. Rick's bleeding had stopped completely, his breathing and pulse were normal and he was asleep.

Glenn walked over to Carol, sat down next to her and held onto her hand. “I'm sorry, Carol. I'm so sorry,” he said as tears fell from his eyes. “I just wanted to help them. They had a kid and it felt wrong not to help them. But this is my fault. Daryl's dead and I feel like it's my fault. I'm sorry.”

Carol looked over at Glenn, unmoved by his apology. “What did you think was going to happen? What kind of fairytale are you living in, Glenn? You wanted to be a boyscout and do the right thing and everyone would be proud of you and you'd feel good about yourself.” She pulled her hand out of Glenn's and gave him an icy stare. “Daryl's dead and it is your fault.” Carol crossed her arms and rested her face on her knees.

Overhearing Carol's accusations, Lee walked over to the two of them and spoke up. “That guy John found us in the middle of nowhere by chance. It wasn't Glenn's fault. He came here because of me. He had a gun to Carl's head and had already shot Daryl. I was trying to protect Carl and Noah...keep that psycho from hurting anyone worse than he already had. I thought we stood a better chance taking them down on our turf. I knew we could handle them. If I hadn't told him where we were, there's no doubt in my mind that Noah or Carl, or both of them, would be dead right now. From the moment that guy showed up at our camp though, Daryl didn't stand a chance. He stumbled onto our camp by chance, Daryl shot him and his guy shot back. It didn't have anything to do with us helping his family.”

“I know,” Carol said through tears looking back at Glenn. “I know it's nobody's fault but John's. My heart is just breaking and I'm angry and I want Daryl back...and really, I just want to die. I want this nightmare to be over and I just want to die.” 

Maggie walked over to her friend and sat down next to her. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled Carol's head to her shoulder. “I was there too, remember? I wanted to die but you talked me down. Our hearts are still beating. Our hearts break but we can mend them. You want to die today and tomorrow won't be much better. But you're strong Carol. That's why we need you and that's why you'll survive this.”

Carol slid to the ground and curled into a ball knowing everything that everyone was telling her was the absolute truth. But it didn't matter to her. Once again she was broken. And the person who put her back together the last time, was gone. She cried herself to sleep and hoped that maybe she wouldn't wake up.

…..

The crisp, early morning air nipped at Carol's face as she awoke. For the briefest of moments, she had forgotten where she was and why she was there. For the briefest of moments, she had forgotten about Daryl. But she opened her eyes, saw everyone sleeping on the rooftop and it all the agony came flooding back. Daryl was gone.

Carol's head was resting on Morgan's leg. After she had fallen asleep, Morgan had pulled her head off of the ground, leaned her against himself and covered her with a blanket. She stood up quietly trying her best not to wake him. She placed the blanket on Morgan than tiptoed to the other side of the roof.

Carol looked over the edge of the building. All the walkers were long gone from the streets. Down below she saw the walkers they had put down trying to save Rick, sprawled out on the sidewalk. She stared at one corpse in particular. She studied what was left of John's body. The miserable tyrant lay on the ground by himself, dead. She knew it was him by his brown boots with red shoelaces.

Carol couldn't take her eyes off of him. John was the one who brought her this misery yet he wasn't feeling any pain right now. She was. His nightmare was over but hers was just beginning, again. Maybe he was in hell. Maybe he went from one nightmare to another. She stared at his lifeless, half-eaten body and was jealous of him. Even if he was in hell at least he wasn't here. Why should she have to live in this wretched existence when he didn't have to?

A lone walker came from around the side of the building. It caught a glimpse of Carol's movement and started growling at her from below. 

It was perfect.

The fall from two stories probably wouldn't be enough to kill her but she knew that it would incapacitate her enough for the walker to be able to get to her. Maybe the fall would break her legs then she wouldn't be able to run even if she wanted to. If she screamed from the pain of the fall and woke everyone up, the walker would make it's way to her before her friends could. It was perfect.

All this time she had looked at the walking dead as her enemies. But this morning things were different. She stared at the walker mesmerized. It was wearing a bloodied and tattered gray suit that was at one time, crisp and new. The blue tie still hung from his neck, askew but still there. She wondered if he had been a lawyer or a principal or maybe a used cars salesman. Where was he from? Did he have children that were long dead like her own child? Up until this morning she would have run in the other direction from this monster but today, in light of her current circumstances, she welcomed it.

Carol boosted herself quietly up onto the ledge. The cold limestone bricks made her shiver with exhilaration. She spun herself around and threw her legs over the other side of the wall. She sat there very still with a smile on her face, thinking of how in just a few more minutes, she would be reunited with her precious Sophia and her beloved Daryl Dixon. This nightmare was almost over and hopefully, things would be better. Carol closed her eyes as an unfamiliar peace moved over her. She slowly inched her body towards the edge. The weight of her legs began to pull her down when suddenly, she felt two strong arms slide around her chest.

“No,” Morgan whispered in her ear. “I won't let you do this.” He pulled her back up until she was again sitting on the wall securely. He still held his arms tightly around her.

“Morgan, please let me go. Please,” she whispered back.

“Why? Because your heart is broken right now? Because you miss him? Because you still miss Sophia?”

“Yes,” she cried softly with defeat, “and I just want it to be over.”

“I know you do. I know. But please don't. I want you to stay just as much as you want to go. I don't want to lose you. Especially not like this.”

“You'd rather see me die at the hands of something unknown and unexpected than for me to end it my way, by myself?”

“I'd rather see you here...here with us. Here with me. I know, it's selfish. But I'm just gonna go ahead and be selfish right now. I love you Carol,” Morgan confessed. “Even if you don't love me back, I still love you. Please, just don't do this.”

Carol and Morgan didn't move an inch. Carol looked down at the walker, still growling below. Morgan continued to hold his grip on her unwilling to relent. Carol shifted from her position and Morgan's grip tightened again.

“It's okay Morgan,” she said spinning her legs back around and facing him. His hands stayed around her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned her head on his shoulder weeping as he lifted her down.


	31. Ramble On

Ramble On

Leaves are falling all around  
It's time I was on my way  
Thanks to you I'm much obliged  
For such a pleasant stay  
But now it's time for me to go  
The autumn moon lights my way  
For now I smell the rain  
And with it pain  
And it's headed my way  
Ah, sometimes I grow so tired  
But I know I've got one thing I got to do  
Ramble on  
And now's the time, the time is now  
To sing my song  
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl  
On my way  
I've been this way ten years to the day  
Ramble on  
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams

Got no time for spreadin' roots  
The time has come to be gone  
And to our health we drank a thousand times  
It's time to ramble on

…..

“We really need to go back downstairs soon,” Bob told the others. “Rick is stable but I need to clean him up better and more importantly, I need to get him started on a round of antibiotics as soon as possible and those are downstairs.”  
“How long can it wait?” Michonne asked.  
Bob gave her a grave look, “He should have already started them by now.”  
“There's no telling how many walkers are still in the library,” Rosita said.  
“It don't matter,” Abraham replied, “whether it's ten or a hundred, we have to take them out eventually. They're not just going to wander out of the building on their own.”  
Glenn spoke up to the group, “I'll take a team down. Abraham, Sasha, Morgan, Rosita and Lee?”  
They all nodded in agreement.  
“Thing is, we don't have a ton of ammo so we're going to have to use our melee weapons,” Abraham announced.   
“We don't have many of those either,” Lee said. “Looks like a few knives, one machete, a bat and Morgan with his staff.”  
“I'll go,” Michonne spoke up.  
“You can't go!” Carl practically shouted at her.  
“I have to. We have to clear the library and I can be a big help doing that with my sword.”  
“No, you're pregnant and my dad and Judy need you!”  
“Your dad needs antibiotics,” she said with tenacity. “Carl, I'm going. I'll be careful. We'll be careful. We know what we're doing.”  
“Fine, then I'm going too,” Carl said with equal stubbornness.  
“No, you're staying here,” she calmly replied.  
“If everyone knows what they're doing and you're going to be careful, then there's no reason I shouldn't be safe going with you,” Carl argued. “Please Michonne, I need to do something for him too.”  
“Protecting your dad , your sister and the others is doing something for him. Staying by his side is doing something.”   
Carl stood there quietly. He remembered how at the prison, all he wanted to do was fight the Governor. Because of his stubbornness, they lost Judy. He made his hatred for another person more of a priority than taking care of his family. He knew he needed to stop trying to prove to himself and to the others that he was a man, a warrior. A real leader didn't have to do that. “Alright, I'll stay.”  
Michonne put her hand on Carl's shoulder. She saw him. She knew who he was. Even though she wanted to love and protect him like a son, she saw how strong and capable he was too. “Thank you.”  
Morgan approached Carol while she was sitting by herself looking off into the distance. “Carol,” he said delicately, “I'm going with the team to clear the library.”  
“I know,” she said deliberately avoiding eye contact with him.  
“Will you be okay while I'm gone?”  
“I've managed for more than 40 years without you Morgan. I'll be fine.”  
“I think you know what I mean. I didn't tell anybody about this morning and I'm not going to tell anybody. It's no one else's business.”

“It wasn't even your business.”  
“Yeah, well I made it my business. That's what you do when you care about someone.”  
“Well I'm not going to kill myself while you're gone so you can relax.”  
“I know I can't watch you all day. I know that you can do whatever you want. If you really want it all to be over, there's nothing I can do to stop you.” Morgan placed his hand on hers, “But Carol, if you leave, it's going to break my heart. I need you to know that.”  
“When all else fails, resort to guilt, huh Morgan?”  
“I'm not trying to guilt you. I'm just telling you the truth. Maybe you don't care if losing you will crush me,” Morgan squeezed her hand, “but I'm hoping that you do.”  
…..  
“We'll all go down the ladder on the side of the building. Then we go out onto the sidewalk in front of the main doors and make noise...you know, bang on the doors and stuff. All they have to do is pile against the latches and the doors should open. We can take them down outside, on the streets. It'll be a lot safer.” Glenn strategized”

“Sounds like a solid plan,” Lee said. “We could even lead them a few blocks away from the library. Kill 'em on that empty cul de sac and burn their bodies there. It'll save us the time and work of dragging the bodies away from home and keep our turf clean.”  
“Let the walkers drag their bodies to their own graves,” Abraham replied. “That my friend is some damn fine, genuine outside the box thinkin'."   
“I'll drive the pick-up truck that way if we need to make a quick getaway for any reason, we won't be on foot,” Sasha added.  
“So everyone knows what to do?” they all nodded in affirmation.  
Once they all made their way down onto the street, Rosita banged on the front doors of the library. One by one the walkers came towards the exit, piling their weight against the doors. It didn't take long for them to push the locking mechanism that held the doors closed. The doors flew open and walkers flooded through. Rosita hid behind the door while holding it open. Michonne, Glenn, Morgan Abraham, Sasha and Lee yelled from the street, drawing the walkers towards them.   
In all, they lead close to 50 walkers away from the library, while picking up at least a dozen more that had broken off from the larger herd. Once they reached the cul de sac, the seven brave comrades, took the small herd down with precision. They piled the corpses together in the middle of the street, poured gasoline on them and lit a match.   
When they returned to the library, they walked carefully back in slowly moving through each room looking for dead ones that may have gotten stuck inside. They found a handful and dealt with them swiftly.  
After they completely cleared the library, the group walked over to the bottom of the staircase where Daryl had met his end. Glenn knelt down beside his body. Tears ran down his face as he looked down at what was left of him. Glenn pulled his knife out and drove it into Daryl's temple as he cried. Michonne came behind him and knelt next to him. She put her arm around him and leaned her head on his shoulder.  
“You need to hear something: this wasn't your fault. We're people who are trying to do the right thing. That's who we are. We're never gonna stop doing the right thing because of things like this. We can't. You helped Clare and her family and you may have saved that little boy's life. I would have made the same call. We don't get to know how things would have worked out if we had made different choices. We just have to keep doing what we know is right. We have to.”  
Glenn met Michonne's eyes with his own. “Thank you,” he said wiping his tears away. He looked around at his friends. “Will you guys help me take his body outside?”  
Sasha pulled the quilt off her bed and brought it to Glenn. Half of the group carefully wrapped Daryl's body in the linens and carried him outside. They took him behind the library, far enough away that they wouldn't have to be reminded of the tragedy of Daryl's death every day but close enough that they would feel he was nearby. They dug the grave under a lush magnolia tree. They placed his body in the grave then went inside to see the others.  
While Daryl's body was being moved and his grave being dug, the other half of the group took Rick down from the roof and helped him into his bed in the attic. Bob gathered the antibiotics and other supplies and wasted no time administering the meds and cleaning Rick up.

After Rick was settled in, the group gathered to finish burying Daryl's body. Bob agreed to miss the service to stay by Rick's side. He offered to watch Judith too but Carl insisted on having his little sister with him for the service.  
Carol, Michonne, Morgan, Glenn, Maggie, Carl, Judy, Liv, Sasha, Abraham, Eugene, Rosita, Noah, Lee, Clementine, Holly and Winnie huddled together under the shade of the magnolia tree to say goodbye to Daryl.   
“Does anyone want to say anything?” Maggie asked solemnly.  
Everyone stood in silence. Nobody said anything. Nobody could. They were all overtaken by their grief and the anguish weighed heavily on them. Small drops of rain began to fall on the group encircling the grave.  
“I'll say something,” Michonne spoke up. Everyone turned their tear-filled eyes towards her.“Daryl was a brother to me. He was a brother to us all. I remember one day at the prison, I was about to leave again – to look for the Governor – and Daryl tried to stop me. He said to me that more than anything, he wanted to keep all of us together. He didn't want me running off and putting myself in danger. He told me...” Michonne began to cry, “he told me that Carl needed me....needed me to stay nearby. He could see that even way back then,” Michonne said putting her arm around Carl. “Daryl said that he would look for the Governor. He said that since Merle was gone, he didn't have family. He said no one would really miss him if anything happened to him. That's what he thought then. Of course I told him just how wrong he was – that we were his family. He didn't know that that's how we looked at him. He didn't know how much we all loved him. When I told him, his eyes lit up. He was surprised to hear it. It took the end of the world happening to make him realize how loved he was. We gave him that. And he gave every part of himself back to us in return. His bravery, his devotion and even his life.”  
The rain began to fall with more force. Carol grabbed the shovel from Abraham's hands. She shoveled the dirt into the open grave onto Daryl's still body. Lee came over to help with another shovel. As they finished burying him, Glenn read out loud from a Bible.  
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.' He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making everything new!'”  
Thunder rolled in their ears and lightening flashed in the distance. Heavy sheets of rain fell from the sky as everyone vigorously scooped dirt into Daryl's grave. They were all drenched as they quickly patted the dirt down and ran away from Daryl's grave back inside the library.   
…..  
“Ramble On”  
Written by Jimmy Page and Robert Plant  
Performed by Led Zeppelin  
Revelation 21:1-5 taken from the NIV Bible


	32. Revival

Revival

“Hey Rick, you see this?” Daryl called over to him as he placed his hand on the chain link fence.

“I see it,” Rick replied as he stared through the fence at the open field with wide eyes. 

“This place is perfect. You think we can clear it? If we do, we could have a safe place to stay for a long time. A real safe place.”

“Yeah it'd be a safe place to stay but I don't know. Clearing it might be too dangerous. There's got to be a hundred walkers in that field and who knows how many more inside.”

“We can do it. We'll be careful. We could take a lot of 'em out through the fence,” Daryl said trying to convince him. “Carl deserves a place where he can run around outside without bein' scared. Where you can let him run free, shootin' rabbits and climbin' trees and shit. And Lori. She needs a place where she can have that baby in peace.”

“Yeah, yeah that'd be nice. This place could be a gold mine.” Rick ran his fingers through his hair with anxiety he was trying his best to hide from Daryl. “But we've been on the road so long. We're hungry, exhausted...I just don't know if we're up for it.”

“I've seen what you can do. I know what I can do...what we all can do. It'll be worth it to have walls and to be able to sleep through the night without one eye open. We gotta stop runnin' for a while and try to make some roots somewhere.”

“You're right,” Rick said looking at his friend, “we can do it. We're real low on ammo though so we'd have to go in hand to hand.”

“Hand to hand...I got yr' back here man. We can do this.” Daryl stood next to Rick as they both surveyed the prison yard of the West Georgia Correctional Facility, from end to end.

“Let's go tell the others,” Rick said as he walked away from the fence. He turned back around when he realized Daryl wasn't with him. “Daryl, you comin' with me?”

Daryl stood there, still looking through the chain link fence as a walker approached him from the other side of the barrier. “Daryl, what are you doing? Are you coming with me?” Rick asked impatiently. 

The corpse clawed at Daryl through the fence but Daryl didn't flinch or back away. Daryl looked over at Rick but said nothing. He picked up his crossbow and slowly moved away from Rick in the opposite direction. He walked into the woods and disappeared into the thick cover of the trees and bushes.

“Daryl! Where are you going?” Rick called out in confusion as he ran to catch up with him. He reached a small clearing and spun around looking in every direction but couldn't find him.

Rick felt a hand rocking his shoulder back and forth. “Rick, you okay?”

He rolled over in bed and looked up into Michonne's comforting face.

“You were dreaming.”

“Yeah,” Rick answered groggily. He looked at her then looked around the room, trying to find his bearings. He lifted his arm up in front of him. He stared at the stump still covered in bandages where his hand used to be.

“How you feeling?”

“Good,” he answered, still looking at his arm. “I have to keep reminding myself that it's gone. I can still feel it sometimes and get confused - think maybe it was a bad dream.” 

“It'll get better. It'll get easier. Every day will start to feel more normal.” Michonne caressed his face and stared deeply into his eyes, “And I'll be with you through it all.” She pressed her lips against his as she whispered, “I love you.”

It had been three weeks since the incident with John and the subsequent invasion of the horde of walkers. It had been a little less than that since Rick woke up to his new reality. 

While the others were cleaning up, putting the library back in order and continuing all their other necessary chores and duties, Michonne stayed with Rick. She never left his side as she helped him convalesce. She kept his wound clean and dressed properly and made sure he was taking his meds on schedule. She fed him and helped him with whatever else he needed. At night, she slept with her body curled up next to his, keeping him close as they slept peacefully together. 

Perhaps the most important thing Michonne did over those first few days after he awoke, was to just be with him. 

Michonne, having a captive audience, read to him all her favorite passages from scripture. Of course Rick didn't mind. When he was well enough to read on his own, Rick went back and forth between a book about edible plants, flowers and mushrooms and Lord of the Rings. He said he always wanted to read it as a kid but never did.

And every day, Michonne sang to him. That was what Rick treasured most. At first she was a bit self conscious singing song after song to him like she was giving a personal concert, but she would finish one and he would just ask her to sing him another. It became less awkward and actually something she treasured too. It brought him joy and lifted his spirits. It healed him.

Rick had indeed broken a couple of ribs in the fall, as he suspected. He thought that he had broken his kneecap too but fortunately, Bob said it just had a small crack that would heal quickly if he stayed in bed. The fall had also given him a pretty bad concussion.

Of course it was the amputation of Rick's left hand that was most concerning. Bob was afraid of infection but the antibiotics took care of that. 

Rick had healed well. But despite his impressive recuperation, the beginning was agonizing. 

When he first woke up 19 days ago, he was a wreck. He woke up in the middle of the night, the day after Daryl's burial. When he came to, he was terribly disoriented. Because of the concussion, he didn't remember clearly what had happened. When he saw his hand missing, he panicked. He jumped out of bed. His knee gave out and he fell to the floor. Michonne woke up and tried to calm him down but she couldn't. He limped through the attic yelling for Carl and Judith.

“Where are they?! Are they dead?! Where are they?!” 

Michonne ran to him and held his face in both her hands, trying to steady him. “Shhh...calm down Rick. It's okay. They're okay. Take a few deep breaths.”

“Where are they?” he said calming down but still confused.

“They're both asleep. Carl's in his bedroom with Noah. Judith is with Sasha. I promise, they're both fine. They're perfect. It's okay.” 

Rick looked down at his arm and panicked again. “Michonne, what happened to my hand?” he asked with fear and confusion in his voice. She wrapped her arms around him. She held his shaking body close to hers and soothed him lovingly.

“You need to lay back down, right now, okay?” She gently led him back to their bed, helped him lie down and pulled the covers over him. She opened a bottle of Oxycontin on the nightstand. “This is for your pain.” She placed pills on his tongue and put a glass of water to his lips and he swallowed. “Drink the whole glass,” she instructed. She climbed back into bed next to him and held his head against her chest.

“Is everyone else okay?” he had asked. 

Michonne didn't answer right away. She delicately brushed his hair behind his ear with her finger as she held him against her bosom. She finally spoke. “Do you remember that Daryl was shot?”

“Yes.”

“Rick,” she said slowly looking down at him, “he didn't make it. He's gone.” Michonne could immediately feel his body tense up. She saw tears run from his eyes. They ran from hers too. “He wasn't going to make it...he knew it. He threw himself into the walkers so that Carol and Morgan and I could get away. He saved us, Rick. Daryl saved me.”

“And you saved me. It's coming back to me. I remember carrying him out of the RV right before the walkers. I remember falling off the roof, getting bitten. Then you...” his voice drifted off, “you came outside to get me. You cut my hand off.”

“I'm sorry.”

“You can't be sorry for that. You saved my life. The kids they...they wouldn't have me if you didn't do it. I'd be dead.” Rick's breathing steadied and he closed his eyes. He fell back asleep in her arms until the next morning.

But that was nearly three weeks ago. This morning was different. The dream with Daryl only rattled him momentarily. After Rick woke up on thisday, he jumped out of bed. He pulled his pants on and buttoned and zipped them with one hand. For obvious reasons, he switched from his usual button-up shirts, to t-shirts. In just a few weeks, he had grown accustomed to a new way of life with just one hand. 

Not one single part of Rick had the audacity to feel sorry for himself. To doubt his abilities. To dwell on perceived limitations set by himself or by the others. Self-awareness is a beautiful thing and Rick certainly had that. He would play to his strengths and amend his weaknesses. He had made it. His heart was still beating. His children and Michonne were alive and safe. 

Even when his thoughts drifted to Daryl, it wasn't thoughts of his tragic death that came to mind but instead, thoughts of his brave sacrifice. Michonne and the new life she carried with her, were here because of him. He would never forget that.

The sun was shining brightly through the windows in the attic. Rick slipped his boots on, checked his Colt then placed it in his holster. He scooped Judith out of her crib and walked hand in hand with Michonne down the steps to start a new day.   
…..  
Sweat dripped from Morgan's brow as he, Carl, Eugene and Noah energetically worked to put the finishing touches on the rebuilt planter boxes. It was late October and everyone had been working hard and putting in extra hours to prepare for winter. It was a hot day today but Georgia weather could turn on a dime and the winters could be frigid. Fortunately the plants survived having the boxes torn out around them. The tomato, squash, spinach, pea and soybean plants had been thriving and thanks to Morgan and Eugene's green thumbs, fresh vegetables were plentiful.

Carol climbed up through the roof hatch and walked out to where the men were working. “I brought you all some lunch if you're ready.”

“There is seldom a time when I am not eager and or inclined to partake in my next meal,” Eugene said wiping his hands on his pants and reaching for a plate. 

She handed plates to Carl and Noah, “Just remember to bring your dishes back to the kitchen when you come down.”

“Yes ma’am,” Noah replied.

“Thanks,” Carl said with a smile as he dug in.

Carol handed Morgan his plate. She turned to walk away and climb back down the ladder. “Thank you Carol.” Morgan said.

“You're all welcome,” she called from inside the maintenance closet. Once she reached the bottom, she paused her hands still on the rung. She stepped back up the ladder and peaked her head back through the hatch. “Morgan,” she asked unsure of herself, “would you by chance eat your lunch down here. I'd like to talk to you if you can manage to get away from your work.”

Morgan looked back at her intently. “I could do that.”

Morgan and Carol walked through the library and outside. They walked to an overgrown flower garden behind the library. They sat down on the grass. They could hear the gurgling of the creek not too far behind them.

“Where's your lunch?” Morgan asked.

“I already ate. I always eat as I'm preparing the food. Tasting everything as I go along. You know, to see if it needs more salt or whatever. I hardly ever sit down to eat a meal except for dinner. I like when we all sit down at the table together at he end of the day and eat...talk about our days. But breakfast and lunch, I just nibble while I'm cooking.” Carol looked at Morgan with a nervous smile. “I'm sorry. I'm just rambling.”

“Don't say sorry. I like hearing your voice. I've missed it.” Morgan stopped eating momentarily and put his sandwich down, “I've missed you Carol.”

“I've missed you too Morgan.”

“I don't want you to think that because I've kept my distance that I've stopped thinking about you. I just felt like maybe you needed some space, especially from me.”

“I probably did.”

“I knew Maggie was taking care of you. I knew she was making sure that you were okay and getting through this alright. I asked her how you were doing every day.”

“I didn't know that. That was very kind of you.”

“Well now that I can ask you myself, how are you?”

“Better,” she said pulling blades of grass out of the ground, mindlessly, “The sadness diminishes a little each day. But there have been a quite a few days where that wasn't the case and those days were hard. Really hard.”

“I remember what I was like after I lost Duane. It was ugly,” Morgan hesitated and looked away from Carol. “I never told you but after I lost him...I lost my mind. I think I would have killed myself but I didn't even have my head on straight enough to do that. I couldn't see anything clearly. For a real long time, everything was distorted. But if I had been thinking straight, I would have ended it. It's almost like I lost my mind so that I wouldn't take my life.”

“In all our conversations, why didn't you ever tell me that?”

“It's not really something you tell someone you're trying to impress. I didn't want you to think less of me.”

“I wouldn't have thought less of you. It makes me think more of you that you've changed – made yourself a better man because of it. I'm glad you made it through to the other side.”

“Me too. I'm glad we both did,” Morgan said holding onto her hand.

“I don't know if I've made it back Morgan. I'm not sure if I'll ever make it back,” Carol said resolutely. “I'm a mess. My life has always been a mess. I'm complicated and not in a good way. Sometimes I'm crazy and sad and confused and probably confusing. Sometimes I'm hateful. Sometimes I scare myself with what I'm capable of. I'm a mess Morgan and I'm not going to be good for you.”

“That's your dad and Ed talking,” Morgan said boldly. Carol stared back at him in shock and Morgan returned her intense gaze. He wondered if he had crossed a line but then decided he didn't care. He had too much respect for her to not call her out when she was full of shit. “We're all complicated. Life right now is complicated. We're all a mess. And if it's complicated and messy, than that's all the more reason we need each other. Besides, I don't see a mess when I look at you. I see how you nurture the ones you love. The way you speak your mind. I see how smart you are and how brave you are...braver than me.”

“So that's how this is going to go?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“You think I'm depressed and that I hate myself and you think you need to tell me these things to build me up and make me feel better.”

“Is that what you really think?” Morgan asked, slightly angered. Carol looked back and said nothing. “You think I'm flattering you? Just fluffing you up so you'll feel better? Is that why you loved Daryl? Because you thought only another messed up and abused person could love you?”

“Don't you talk about Daryl that way!” she cried out. “You know nothing about him!”

“Oh I know him well enough to say that he saved my life and yours because he thought our lives were worth something,” Morgan yelled back in frustration. “And I don't want to waste my life dwelling on the mess. I'm not going to. I want to live, even in the mess. I want to love...to love you. Do you really want to keep being the martyr? Don't you think you've suffered enough?”

“Probably not,” she said beginning to sob. “I'm just overwhelmed by it all. By my feelings about this...about you...Daryl...about everything.”

Always the gentleman, Morgan pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and gently dabbed the tears from Carol's eyes. “I'm a little overwhelmed too. Such is life, especially now. When I lost Jenny, I lost a part of me too. A part I never thought I'd feel again. But I came back. You did that.”

Morgan opened his mouth to say something else but hesitated. It didn't go unnoticed by Carol.

“Say what's on your mind Morgan?”

“That morning, the morning when I saw you on the ledge, something very strange happened.” Morgan looked Carol in the eyes, “Now you might not believe me but this is true, I swear it is.”

“What happened?”

Morgan turned his head and focused on a bluejay that landed in front of them in the yard. He watched it hop around bobbing it's tiny beak into the grass. “I was sleeping and something woke me up,” he said clearly. “I felt someone shake me awake. I mean I felt someone's hands on me actually shaking me until I woke up. I looked around to see who was touching me, but there was nobody around. I looked around again and that's when I saw you sitting on the ledge, about to...about to jump. I stood up and ran to you to pull you back up.”

A shiver ran down Carol's arms and she stared at Morgan in disbelief.

“I know, I know. It's hard to believe but it's the truth. I didn't say anything to you or anyone else about it because I know how crazy it sounds.”

Carol's mouth hung open and she couldn't take her eyes off of Morgan. She finally looked away after the initial shock of his words settled into her mind. “I believe you. You've never lied to me and I've never had any reason to not trust you. I believe you Morgan.” Carol let out a quivering sigh. “The truth is Morgan, you did save me that morning. I felt alone and desperate and heartbroken but you cared enough about me to give me another chance at a life. You saved me in every possible way and I'm grateful for that. I wasn't then but believe it or not, I'm grateful now. I just don't know where to go from here.”

“I told you how I felt about you and nothing about that has changed. I love you Carol, and that's just the way it is.”

Carol turned towards Morgan and cupped his face in her hands. She gently pulled his mouth towards her as she inched in closer. Morgan put one arm around her waist and the other hand on her neck. Their lips met for the first time and Carol's body relaxed in his embrace. As Morgan pressed his lips against hers, he could feel her tears on his cheeks. He pulled away and looked at her with love and compassion. He rested his head against hers and held onto her face.

“I'm not going to hurt you, Carol. I'm not going to stop loving you when I see the mess. I'm not going to leave when things are hard.”

Carol finally submitting, nestled her head against Morgan's chest. “Okay.”


	33. Safety In Numbers

Safety In Numbers

Olivia Anna Grimes headed out early after breakfast with her Uncle Rick, her cousin Carl, Sasha and Abraham. They had a specific agenda and they were determined not to return home without exactly what they were looking for.

It was nearing the end of November and the chilly, morning air was a welcome change from some of the scorchers they'd had in the last few weeks. The four of them filed into the pick-up truck and drove away from the library.

At first, they all needed Liv to help them navigate through Waycross but now that the whole group had been there for more than three months, they knew the area very well. Since the others had arrived, Liv was no longer responsible for security, food, water and warmth all on her own. She was no longer the only one taking care of Holly. She had certainly been adept at protecting herself and Holly when it was just the two of them. She did what she had to do and didn't feel like there was much of an alternative other than to each day, wake up and just survive somehow. But now things were different. She had help. She wasn't alone. 

Liv had just turned 18 in October and although she was technically an adult she was relieved to not have to do it all by herself. Technicalities like age were arbitrary now. She was part of a family again. Rick and Michonne had become something very special to her; not parents, not friends just something else. Something she needed. Liv always thought about how funny it was that she was never close to her Uncle Rick in her life before the end. But Rick had made up for lost time. They had become very close and Rick gingerly took her under his wing, teaching his niece everything he knew alongside Carl.

Rick was just so grateful that this precious, lone member of his extended family had not only survived, but that they had found her.

Today Liv was excited at the daunting task of being in charge of the day's run. She was relieved to be doing something different. She got tired of being cooped up in the library doing chores and going to school but never complained. She knew they were both important. Soon after the others arrived, she had spent a good deal of time hunting but didn't really like doing that as much, now that Daryl was gone.

Since the moment Liv laid eyes on Daryl Dixon, she had developed quite the crush on him. It was innocent enough but still something she couldn't ignore no matter how she tried. His rugged bad boy exterior with a heart of gold were more than most girls her age could resist. But it didn't matter then because she knew he loved Carol and it didn't matter now because he was gone. Either way, hunting just reminded her of him and she didn't like that. 

Liv told Abraham exactly where to go, “Turn left on Marshall Road and then at the third stop sign turn right onto Scranton Way.” Abraham happily whistled “It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas” as he followed her directions. He smuggly drove through the intersections paying no attention to stop signs as he finally made the turn onto Scranton Way. “I'm not positive which house it is but I'll know it when I see it.” They drove along slowly down the street surveying the neighborhood they had never been to. “This one right here...with the red brick!” Liv exclaimed with excitement.

“Why'd you pick this one?” Carl inquired.

“This whole block was always lit up for Christmas. All the neighbors would try to outdo the others and we were the ones who reaped the benefits. My mom and dad and Mikey and me, we'd go out of our way to drive down this street at Christmas time because it was always so pretty and lit up with lights and decorations. My parents never minded. They were never in a hurry. It was nice.” Liv's whole face smiled as she reminisced about her family. 

The five exited the truck, closing the doors quietly as they scoped out the outside of the house and the surrounding area. They strolled up the walk to the front door cautiously, with their weapons drawn.

“Such a cute neighborhood,” Sasha said unable to hide the giddiness in her voice.

“Cute, huh?” Abraham said looking back at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, cute. Kinda like the way you were whistling Christmas carols on the way here,” she said rolling her eyes and smiling.

“Touche darlin,” Abraham said as he banged on the front door. 

“If we find what we're looking for here, we should hit some of these other houses too, right?” Carl asked.

“We should! But right now, Liv is calling the shots,” Rick said nodding at Liv, “and she wants Christmas.”

“It's bizarre to be out and about looking for Christmas trees and decorations,” Sasha said. “I think it's the first time I've been out on a run for anything besides food, water or ammo.”

“Kinda takes the pressure off,” Abraham said.

Rick studied his left forearm. It was his first run since his amputation and he was glad to be strong enough to be back out in the real world. He hadn't yet attempted to take down any walkers one-handed and was anxious to utilize the prosthetic that Eugene had painstakingly made for him. Eugene was very innovative with creating the prosthetic and then adding several attachments. Today Rick attached a Tanto blade. “Everyone knows what to do, right?” Rick asked looking each of them in the eye.

“Yep. We clear the first floor in pairs, meet back at the bottom of the steps, then head upstairs and do the same thing,” Liv answered confidently.

“That's good,” Sasha said, “eyes and ears open and no chatting til we're done clearing. Now tell us each our jobs.” 

“Uncle Rick you come with me and Sasha, you stay with Abraham. Carl you stay by the front door and keep watch.” Carl turned the knob but it was locked. Abraham grabbed the crowbar out Sasha's backpack but before he pried the it open, they heard the shuffling on the other side of the door.

“We got us a few live ones in there,” Abraham said. “You guys want to move on to another house. Like you said, they were trying to outdo each other so chances are, we can find decorations next door.” Everyone looked at Liv.

“Why are you all looking at me again?” Liv asked.

“It's like he said, you're calling the shots on this run. You're old enough to do that now,” Rick said.

“Don't worry Liv,” Carl smiled at his cousin, “they're not gonna let you do something stupid.”

“Okay. Well...I think we should do this house,” a thoughtful look appeared on Liv's face. “I think if we come across them, and it's safe, we should put them down. It just seems like the right thing to do.”

“Okay, we're doin' this then. I got the door, you guys back up and wait for them to come out onto the porch.” Abraham jimmied the door open and pushed on it. More walkers came out then they expected. Five adults and a child. The walkers groaned and gnashed their teeth as they reached out towards them. Rick held a large, dead body away with his right hand then viciously drove the knife attached to his left hand, into it's skull. He was pleasantly surprised how fluently he took the corpse down, one-handed. Carl, Sasha, Abraham and Liv worked quickly and carefully to surmount the other walkers. Once finished, they dragged their bodies off the side of the large, covered porch.

Sasha and Abraham walked through the dining room, kitchen and mud room, opening closets and looking in nooks while Rick and Liv walked through the living room, family room and powder room. Then the four went upstairs together while Carl remained watchful at the front door.

“What now, Liv?” Sasha asked at the top of the staircase.

“Rick and I will get these two rooms and you get those two,” Liv whispered as she motioned directions. 

Liv approached a closed bedroom door. She heard a faint noise coming from the room and put her ear to the door. 

Rick walked up behind her. “You hear something in there?”

“Yeah. I think there's another one in this room.”

“I'll take care of it,” Rick said beginning to turn the knob.

“No, let me. I probably need the practice more than you do.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Rick said nodding.

Liv turned the knob and walked into the bedroom. She didn't see any walkers at first but then looked behind the door and saw a crib. “Uncle Rick, don't come in here.”

“Why? Are you okay?” he said from the hallway.

“Just don't come in here! I'm fine, I promise...just trust me.”

Liv closed the door to the bedroom and walked slowly towards the crib. She looked over the side and saw a baby. Her body stiffened as she stared at the moving corpse that must have been less than six months old. It was a little boy lying on his back waving his arms around. The dead baby boy was obviously unable to walk and just flailed his limbs and let out a noise that was something between a cry and a groan. His blue pajamas had footballs, basketballs and baseballs on them and read “Daddy's Little Champ”. Liv couldn't believe her eyes. She had never seen a baby as one of the monsters. Her instinct was to pick the baby up in her arms and cradle him as she had done so many times with her sweet cousin, Judith.

Liv turned around and quietly locked the door. She didn't want Rick to walk in and see what she had found but she also wanted to take her time putting the baby to rest. She looked at the gray skin of the infant. Other than his discolored skin and emaciated body, he looked like a normal baby. There was no blood and no bites to be seen. She looked over at the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Hanging over the back of the chair was a thick blue blanket with ducks. She spread the blanket out flat on the floor then walked back to the crib. She reached down and carefully picked up the little boy. She laid him on the floor on top of the blanket then folded the sides tightly around his arms so he couldn't scratch her. He didn't have teeth yet. She lifted the swaddled baby back up and cradled him in her arms. Liv sat down in the rocking chair and rocked the baby back and forth.

As Liv looked at his darkly angelic face, she wondered what happened to this family. Why was this baby left in a crib upstairs? He wasn't bitten. Did he just lay in the crib until he starved to death and came back as a helpless walker? The questions running through her head made her feel an agony she hadn't experienced since the day she saw her father, bitten and carrying her brother's dead body back to their home. There was a knock at the door that startled her. “Liv, you okay in there?” Rick called out.

“I'm okay,” she called back, trying her best to keep her uncle from hearing the tears in her voice, “I'll be out in just a few minutes.”

It didn't matter what happened to this baby. She didn't want to dwell on it for even another minute. Liv grabbed another blanket and put it under the baby's head to protect her clothes from the blood. She pulled her knife out and before she could put much more thought into the devastating circumstances, she stabbed her knife into his tiny head. She pulled the knife out as the little boy's body went limp in her arms. She laid the baby gently back into the crib, wiped her eyes and hurried out of the room. 

…..

It was four o'clock when the five of them climbed back into the truck. The bed of the truck was packed full of Christmas decorations and other supplies. They had found an eight foot, artificial Douglas fir, ornaments, four boxes of assorted nicknacks, including a nativity, stand up yard decorations, lights, three wreaths and wrapping paper in case they found gifts to wrap. After loading the decorations, they rummaged through the kitchens of nearly a dozen more homes for food, batteries and ammo. They found a good amount of canned food but not much in the way of other supplies. They marked each home that they had cleared and searched, by spray painting the mailboxes. “You always think you'll remember but you don't,” Abraham had said. They were on their way back to library and looked forward to unloading and sitting down to dinner.

Rick sat in the back of the truck with Carl and Liv. “You get everything you were looking for?” he asked his niece.

“I think so. It wasn't really my idea though, it was Holly's. She said how much she wished we could have a Christmas this year. I mean we've had two years without it and I thought it was a great idea so that's why I asked you if we could do it. She said her favorite part of Christmas was all the decorations her mom would put out.” Liv suddenly turned to Rick and practically shouted at him, “Hey! I know it's been a long day but do you think we could go to Holly's house? Maybe we could get a few of her mom's decorations from there!”

“Do you know where it is?”

“Yeah, it's just three blocks from the library.”

Rick sighed. He generally thought doing something outside of the plan was a bad idea but he wanted to do something special for his niece – for all the kids. “Sure. Like I said, you're in charge today.”

“Yay! Thank you so, so much, Uncle Rick!” she squealed as she gave him a quick hug. A feeling of joy swelled in Rick in that moment. It made him feel good to do something as simple as getting Christmas decorations for his niece. He had spent all his time and energy feeding and protecting his loved ones that he had all but forgotten what it felt like to do something unnecessary - to go above and beyond just to make someone happy. He occasionally had those opportunities with Michonne and Carl but not really anyone else.

“You're welcome,” he said smiling and nudging her with his elbow, “let's just be quick.”

Moments later they were parked in front of Holly's forgotten home and going over the same routine of entering and clearing it. Within minutes Rick and Liv were alone in the garage moving crates and boxes around.

“It was a baby wasn't it?” Rick asked.

“What do you mean?” Liv asked despite being almost certain she knew what he was talking about.

“In the upstairs bedroom of that first house this morning. There was a baby in there,” Rick confirmed.

“Yeah, there was,” Liv somberly replied.

“You didn't want me to see a baby that had turned.”

“No. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to see it though,” she said shuffling through a box slowly. “It was a little boy...really young. He couldn't walk or anything. He was just laying there. It seemed like he was crying. How did you know it was a baby?”

“Just good instincts, I guess. Did you forget I was a cop for 16 years?” he chuckled.

“No, I didn't forget. I thought I was sparing you from something but I guess I wasn't.”

“No, you did spare me. It's one thing to know something and another thing to actually see it. When you see it, the image gets etched into your brain and stays there.” Rick looked up at Liv, “You put him down, right?”

“Of course I did!” Liv stopped rummaging through a plastic tub and looked uneasily at her uncle, “I wrapped him up in a blanket and rocked him. Do you think that's crazy?”

“Do you think it was crazy?”

“No. I don't. I know how it works with the walkers. I'm not stupid or...delusional, I just wanted to comfort him somehow.”

“That's not crazy. It's compassionate. And no matter how ugly things get out here, compassion is a good thing. I'm still trying to remember that...balance that with protecting my family.” Rick lifted another few crates, “Found them. Three crates marked 'Christmas Stuff'. Let's get back home,” he said carrying them through the garage.

“Uncle Rick, before we go, can I tell you one more thing?”

“Yeah, what is it?” he asked setting the crates down and giving her his full attention.

“When you showed up here in Waycross...”

“Yeah?”

“I never thanked you for...taking care of my dad and Mikey...you know, putting them down and burying them” she said with tears welling up in her eyes. “After they were bitten, I always wanted to go back and put them to rest. Every time I passed by my house, I would look up into the window and think about how they were still in there – stuck, and dead, and without peace, but I couldn't do it. I told myself it was because I was scared but...but I think the real reason was because knowing they were still there – still in our old house, made me feel less alone. It never felt right leaving them like that but it just got easier to keep walking by. If you hadn't shown up, I'm not sure I would have ever done it. And I feel horrible that I never did.” Liv couldn't contain herself any longer. She covered her face and sobbed into her hands.

Rick pulled Liv into a warm embrace and kissed her on the top of her head. “You're never going to have to be alone again. You're not going to have to do all this on your own anymore. You're strong enough now, and I know you can, but you're not going to have to. You're not going to be alone, Liv.”

“For a long time I thought I would be. I thank God everyday that you and Carl and Michonne and everyone else is here...that I have a family again.”

“I do too,” Rick said smiling down at her, “now let's get back home to them.”


	34. The First Noel

The First Noel

It was December twelfth and the hustle and bustle that overtook the library was almost as if it were any other Christmas from years past. Today, the festive and joyful atmosphere was palpable. Everyone was anxious to get the Christmas decorations up, hang stockings on the massive fireplace, put up the tree and hang the lights. Survival had forced them to neglect every holiday for the last 2 years but now nothing was keeping them from celebrating Christmas. 

The group had been waiting to decorate until all the urgent and necessary chores and tasks were finished. With winter approaching, the priorities would always be water, food and fuel. They had found and filled a 1000 gallon tank with fresh water for drinking and had yet another 1000 gallon cistern full of rain water for cooking and as backup drinking water. The pantry was well stocked with a large supply of canned meat, fruits and vegetables along with other dry goods they had gathered from homes. More meat and fruit had been dehydrated, sealed and stored. Clothing, blankets and even toiletries were plentiful.

The guns sat in the armory gathering dust over the last few months since they were nearly out of ammunition. The day Rick gathered everyone together to tell them that their were only a few hundred rounds of ammo left, momentarily threw them into a minor panic. “We knew this day was coming,” he had said with the calm assertiveness his friends and family had come to value in their leader. “We knew that at some point we would have to rely on our own skills and abilities to defend ourselves, and we can. We haven't come this far because of bullets. We've come this far because we're strong. Because we have each other. Because we've been willing to do what it takes to survive. And that's what we'll keep doing.”

They had all come so far. They had all worked so hard. And because of that, they were giving themselves a gift. The gift they were giving was Christmas itself. Before the end of the world, Christmas had been something they had all taken for granted, maybe something they even dreaded. But not this time. They all knew how special it was to celebrate and they savored every moment.

Carol, Maggie, Sasha and Rosita strung both white and multicolored lights every place they could inside the library. A few weeks earlier Glenn, Eugene and Abraham had installed black-out curtains on every single window in the library. Not one bit of light was visible from outside the library. It was a relief to everyone to not have to worry about being spotted by outsiders; living or unliving. Every night once the sun went down and before any light was turned on or any candle lit, the curtains were drawn tightly. 

Carl, Liv, Holly and Clementine were thrilled to be hanging the ornaments on the Christmas tree. Not only did they have the artificial tree they had rummaged from one of the homes but Lee had also chopped down a real Virginia Pine tree. The fresh cut tree filled the library with the sweet aroma of nostalgia. The real Christmas tree stood to the right of the large, marble fireplace. Michonne carefully placed each one of the delicate figures of the antique Nativity on the mantle. She painstakingly arranged the baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, wise men, animals and finally an angel in and around the creche. Finally satisfied with her placement, she looked at the nativity with a joyful smile on her face.

Rick carried Judith down the main staircase then set her down on the floor. He took her left hand in his as her wobbly legs shuffled towards the others. “Good job, sweetheart!” Rick praised her.

Judith had just taken her first steps the day before. It was a perfect moment. Michonne had gotten her dressed as soon as they had woken up then set her on the floor to play. She was racing around her crib barely holding on to it. “Rick I think she's ready!” Michonne told him enthusiastically. Rick was in the middle of getting dressed himself but stopped and sat on the floor and awaited his baby girl's first steps. Michonne sat a few feet away with Judy, “Go see daddy!” she said right before Judith awkwardly took off towards him. She threw her chubby arms around Rick and just like that, Judith had passed the important milestone. Rick pulled her into a big hug while he and Michonne cheered and clapped.

Now Rick walked over to Michonne hand in hand with Judith and kissed his wife goodbye. “Hopefully I'll be back before the end of your watch.”

“Okay. I'm headed up there right now to relieve Morgan. Be careful out there and I'll be watching for you,” she said kissing him again.

“I will. I promise.”

Rick picked up Judith and handed her to Carl as he was hanging the last of the ornaments on the tree. “Hey Judy! I saved a few ornaments for you to hang up,” Carl said as he picked her up and swung her around. Judith giggled uncontrollably.

“I need you to watch her until Michonne is finished with her watch or I get back; whichever happens first,” Rick said.

“No problem. What are you going to do?” Carl asked as he helped Judith hang a snowman on a branch.

“I'm going out on a run with Glenn and Abraham.”

“Oh yeah? Where?” 

“None of your business,” Rick said with a grin.

“Oh...more Christmas shopping, huh?”

“Maybe. Just watch your sister. She's walking now so it's a whole new ballgame. Keep her away from those stairs!”

“I will!” Carl called out to his dad as he opened the doors. “Remember, a Playstation 3 with the new Madden game...oh, or wait, Grand Theft Auto. Or even both!” The doors slammed shut before Rick could confirm that he had heard.

Carl sat on the floor in front of the Christmas tree with Judith. Holly came and sat down next to them. She handed Carl a granola bar and placed a basket of Christmas toys in front of Judith.

“Thanks,” Carl said. “Here Judith, do you want to share a snack?” Judith crawled over to her brother and took a chunk of the bar from him.

“Judy do you want to play with my Christmas toys? They were from when I was little.” Holly handed Judith a stuffed Snoopy wearing a Santa hat. She pulled a tin out that held a Precious Moments nativity. Judy grabbed at all of them. “Wasn't it nice of them to bring back Christmas stuff from my house?” Holly asked. “I used to love playing with this nativity since my mom wouldn't let me play with hers.”

“Yeah, that was really nice,” Carl said smiling. 

“Guess what I overheard today?” Holly asked with wide eyes.

“What?”

“Well I saw Maggie was with Bob for her check-up – you know, for the baby,” Holly whispered, “and when she walked out of his room, he showed Maggie a ring...a wedding ring. He wanted Maggie to look at it and tell him if she liked it.”

“What? That doesn't make sense. Why was he showing Maggie a ring?”

“Shhh!” Holly scolded Carl. “It was for Sasha! He's going to wait for Christmas and ask Sasha to marry him!”

“Ohhhh...” Carl said pulling a piece of granola stuck to Judith's cheek and putting it in her mouth. “Do you think she'll say yes?”

“I don't know. Probably. Why wouldn't she?”

“It's just crazy. Glenn and Maggie, my dad and Michonne getting married and having babies. It's just so fast.”

“Life moves faster than it did before,” Holly said, “you never know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or next year. Now, if you want something, you can't wait.” Holly leaned her head on Carl's shoulder. Carl put his arm around her and gently ran his fingers through her long blonde hair.

“Can I ask you something really stupid?” he asked.

“Stupid questions are the best kind,” Holly said smiling.

“Well life is different now. Things are never going to be the same. We're never gonna go to college or get regular jobs or anything like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Well do you think someday you and me...do you think we would ever get married?”

Holly froze. She couldn't believe what Carl had just asked her. She really thought he was going to ask her a stupid question, like one of those dumb Would You Rather questions. Would she rather have to eat with her elbows or have an extra set of eyes. This was a serious question. One she thought she wouldn't hear uttered for another 10 years or maybe never.

“Is that a joke?” she said moving his arm away and looking at him.

“No. Why would I joke about something like that?”

“I don't know. But that's not a question you ask someone who just turned 14!”

“Well I didn't mean 'let's get married tomorrow',” Carl replied with a note of anger. “You were the one who said life moves faster than it did before.”

“Carl, I'm not stupid. I know why you're asking me that.”

“Really?” Carl looked confused. “Okay why?”

“Because there's no one else to ask. The only reason you're with me is because there's no one else to be with. We're not in school where there's a hundred girls to pick from. There's just me! I'm the only one left!” Holly yelled.

“Are you serious?” Carl asked but Holly didn't answer. She stared blankly at the Christmas tree.  
“I like you Holly. I've liked you since I first met you. Actually if I'm being really honest with you, I love you. It wouldn't matter if there were a thousand girls to pick from. If there were, I'd still pick you. You are the only one here, but it doesn't matter because you're the only one I want.”

Holly stared back at her boyfriend of three months. She was embarrassed that she had accused him of something that screamed of how insecure and afraid she was of everything. She leaned back into Carl and put her head on his shoulder again. She held his hand with both of her hands. “I'm sorry Carl. I shouldn't have said that. I'm really sorry.”

“I'm not stupid either. I know how things work. I know there's a lot of things we're never gonna get to do. Is it so bad that I'm excited about something that maybe we can do?”

“No, it's not so bad.” Carl leaned towards Holly and kissed her sweetly on the lips. The two of them sat there leaning against the fireplace in each other's arms watching Judith bang the stuffed Snoopy on the floor. They were 14 and almost 16 but they weren't kids anymore. This new world wouldn't let you be a child for very long. Maybe it wasn't silly to think about adult things. They thought about things like survival, taking care of each other and even killing. Maybe thinking about being together forever wasn't that far-fetched.

…..

Carol got up at 6 A.M. on Christmas morning. She had planned a Christmas breakfast of bacon, cinnamon rolls and fresh fruit. They saved coffee and juice for special occasions and today counted as one of those. Everyone had shuffled out of their rooms by 8 o'clock and could smell all the wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen. Carol, Morgan and Maggie brought the feast out to the table and everyone gratefully dug in. 

After breakfast, everyone gathered around the Christmas tree, lit up and beautifully decorated. Instead of a hectic free-for-all, they each took turns opening the gifts picked out especially for them. 

Rosita and Sasha were thrilled to be doing all the Christmas shopping for the girls. Judith unwrapped a doll, a play telephone and a horse on wheels to zoom around the library.

Clementine made sure to let everyone know that she was way too old for dolls and toys so she received a basketball, makeup, hair accessories and Monopoly.

Holly got three new jigsaw puzzles and a new hoody to replace her rather beaten-up, wardrobe staple. It took some effort but after raiding an eyeglass deposit, Eugene made her a new pair of glasses out of a couple of other pairs. Out of all her presents, she was most excited to have glasses without cracks and scratches.

Liv excitedly opened up packages containing a bathrobe, slippers, nail polish and lotion that didn't smell rancid like hers had.

Glenn found Carl and Noah the Playstation 3 they desperately wanted. They also got the Madden and Grand Theft Auto games Carl begged for along with about ten more games. They were told that the Playstation couldn't be used for more than an hour or two a day. “We didn't install those solar panels for video games,” Rick shortly lectured the boys. They were so happy though, they didn't mind.

In addition to everything else, Rick and Glenn raided a baby store and surprised Michonne and Maggie with cribs, swings, blankets, clothes, pacifiers and toys. They found a huge supply of diapers and wipes. Michonne and Maggie were most pleased with that particular find. All the kids had new, sturdy shoes for the winter and Rick had even found a five pound bag of raw hides to surprise Winnie with.

The adults were happy to share gifts collectively. Abraham, Rick and Glenn managed to haul a billiard table, out of an upscale bar, and onto the back of the pick-up truck. They also brought back a Foosball table and a dart board. Everyone was pleased to have new pastimes besides reading.

There were practical gifts to be grateful for too. The kitchen was now outfitted with a full size electric stove and oven to cook on instead of small the propane burners they'd been using. Most everyone had beds or at least mattresses before Christmas, but now the few that didn't, received them. Two new sofas were also moved into the main living area of the library.

After the frenzy of gifts being opened had died down, Rick walked up to Carl. “Hey, I need to show you something. Come with me.”

“Dad, I'm right in the middle of my game. Can I come in a couple minutes?”

“That thing's got a pause button. C'mon,” Rick said reaching down to pull Carl up from the floor in a handshake motion.

Carl followed his dad as they walked towards the library exit. They opened the doors and walked down the steps. Parked in front of the library was a car with a giant white bow on the hood. 

“What is that? Is that seriously for me?” Carl asked with shock.

“That right there is 1970 Plymouth GTX 440 in candy-apple red and yes, it's for you,” Rick said with a wide smile. “Of course you know it technically belongs to the whole group but you can say it's yours.”

“Oh my gosh, Dad! Thanks!” Carl exclaimed as he ran towards his first official car.

“I promised you I'd eventually get you something that wasn't a mini van or a bike.”

Michonne walked outside and came up behind Rick slipping her hands around his waist, “Do you have any idea how many garages your dad went through to find that?” she called out. 

“I almost gave up after about 40 or 50 garages but when I found it, it was all worth it. Abraham said that's at least an $80,000 car.”

“This is perfect! I love it! Seriously Dad, thank you.” Carl sat in the front seat with his hands on the ten and two positions of the steering wheel. “Can I take it out driving right now?”

“Sure, but only a quick one. Let's go back inside and get our guns and the walkies, then we'll take her for a spin.”

…..

Early that evening while the venison slowly roasted in the oven with carrots and squash, the jovial group all relaxed and basked in the peaceful happiness of the day. Everyone was enjoying their new treasures while chatting and laughing. 

Bob casually walked over to the tree and bent down and reached under the branches. “Hey, look, there's still one little box under the tree.” He picked the box up and pretended to examine it. “There's no tag to say who it belongs to.” He held the gift up for everyone to see, “Does anyone know who this is for?” Of course no one answered. He handed the tiny package to Sasha. “Open it and see what it is. Someone will know who it's for once we see it.” 

Sasha unknowingly ripped the paper off and knew it must be jewelry by the familiar velvet box. She opened the box and looked down at the sparkling princess cut diamond and platinum ring. She looked at all the men one by one. “Alright, which one of you guys picked this ring out for your girl and how could you forget that it was still under the tree?” All the men shook their.

Bob, knelt down next to Sasha on the couch and looked inside the box in her hand. He pulled the ring out and held it up. “Wow! This is a beautiful ring. It must be for a beautiful woman,” he said now staring into her lovely and still clueless face. He took the box from her and tenderly held her left hand in his. “Sasha, this is for you,” he said. “I want us to love each other and take care of each other for the rest of our lives. This is me down on one knee saying that the only thing I want for Christmas, is for you to make me the happiest man alive and say that you'll be my wife.” Bob held the ring out in front of her, “Sasha Nicole Williams, will you marry me?”

As everyone looked on, the room fell completely silent and the only thing heard was the gentle howling of the wind outside.

Tears rolled down Sasha's cheeks and an enormous smile formed on her radiant face. “Yes!!!” she exclaimed. “Yes! Yes! Yes! I'll marry you Bob Stookey!” Bob nervously slipped the brilliant ring onto her finger and she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. Their family in the room let out collective cheers of joy and congratulations. 

Once Sasha regained her composure and the room had again become calm, Sasha held Bob's hands in hers. “Bob, I want to be married right now. I want to be your wife tonight. I don't want to wait and I don't need a wedding. Knowing we love each other is all I need. Let's not get married...let's just be married.”

The room fell silent yet again as Bob took Sasha's face in his hands. “Baby, I'll marry you yesterday if that's what you want,” he said then kissed her again. 

“Alright then,” she said wrapping her hands around his waist and burying her face into his chest, “Merry Christmas...we're married.”

…..

A/N: Thank you all for continuing to read, review and follow me and my story. Please keep it up! You are such an encouragement to me and I've loved every minute of writing this.


	35. Life or Death

Life or Death

It had been an ugly fight. It was surprising that it was the first real fight they'd had. All things considered, there wasn't much for them to disagree about, but when the hours passed by slowly and the days even slower, it was easy to get irritable. They'd been a couple for almost eight months and the puppy dog eyes they looked at each other with were gone. It was time for being real. He couldn't sugar-coat things for her anymore. It wasn't right and it put her in danger.

“You're being stupid!” Carl yelled.

“I don't care!” Holly yelled back. “Maybe I am stupid. Maybe that's why I don't want to go out there. I'm stupid and I'll do something stupid. I don't want to get myself killed.”

“That's why you need to go out there! You have to learn to protect yourself. You have to learn to use some kind of weapon. You have to learn how to get out of tight spots.”

“No, I don't. I won't need to learn any of those things if I just stay in here.”

A small herd of walkers had been gathering outside the library. At first, it was less than a dozen but now there were closer to sixty walkers gathered at and around the front doors of the building. When it was just a few, everyone assumed they would just keep moving through town. But as they were walking by the library, a strong gust of wind came up hard and blew a tree branch through one of the attic windows. The sound of the breaking glass drew the small herd towards their home and as the day went on, more and more of the dead followed the groans and assembled themselves around the front of the building. They had to go out and take care of it before things got worse.

“So what, you're never going to leave the library? You're going to stay in this building til you die?”

“Sure, why not? I haven't gone out there since I went to look for that dumb dress for your dad and Michonne's wedding. That was eight months ago and I've been fine staying here since then.”

“Why did you go out then?”

“I don't know. I wasn't as scared because I was with a bunch of people. And it was just across the street, Carl. There weren't walkers out there that day. A lot has happened since then. Daryl and the herd...you got taken and almost killed. Your dad got bitten and lost his hand and you're seriously wondering why I'm scared to go out?!”

“You don't have to be though. This is a perfect opportunity for you to practice. There aren't that many of them and there are plenty of us. You need to learn how to be stronger than they are. It's only a matter of time before you come across one of them,” Carl pleaded with her “What if something happens here? What if this building gets overrun again and then you're forced to go out?”

“I'll cross that bridge when I get there.”

“That's not good enough now. Thinking like that is going to get you killed!”

“You'll take care of me. Everyone else, they'll take care of me. I know you'll all protect me,” she said desperately.

Confusion and anger broke out all over Carl's face. He kicked over a chair and it slid across the floor slamming into a bookshelf. 

“You're an idiot and you're going to get yourself killed!” he shouted. He walked in circles around one of the sofas with his fists balled up at his side. 

“Stop calling me idiot and stupid, Carl. Don't talk to me that way,” she said in her mousy tone as she sat on the sofa. 

Carl came back to where she was sitting. He sat next to her, put his hands on her shoulders and faced her. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked to you that way. It wasn't right.”

“Do you think it makes me feel good to be scared? Do you think I like being weaker than every single person here? Do you think I want to spend the rest of my entire life in this crappy library?” She stared into Carl's eyes and Carl stared back. He felt like a bully. Just because he didn't know what it felt like for her, didn't mean her feelings weren't legitimate. Just because he wasn't scared didn't mean she wasn't allowed to be.

“I love you Holly. I don't want anything to happen to you. I want to take care of you but what if something happens and I'm not there?” he held her hands gently.

“You will be. I'll stay with you and the others and I won't ever let myself be alone.” Carl kept his eyes fixed on her's. He sympathized with her and wanted to be compassionate but Carl recognized that his sympathy was just as dangerous as letting her stay in that crippling position of fear.

“No,” he said stoically as he deliberately pulled his hands away from her's. “You can't stay afraid. I won't let you. I'm not going to be with someone who's weak. Your weakness isn't just a danger to yourself – it's a danger to all of us.” Carl got up and began to walk away. He started towards the main doors with his machete in hand.

“Carl wait!” Holly exclaimed as she chased after him. “I'll go...okay? I'll go. Just please don't leave me. I'll do whatever you say.” She quickly tied her long hair back into a bun, slipped on a leather jacket covered in duct tape and zipped it up. She picked up a machete of her own and grabbed onto Carl's hand. 

Carl could feel her sweaty hand trembling in his. “It's okay, just stay close to me and do exactly what I've been teaching you.” He placed his hand on the latch but before he pushed the door open, he kissed her hand. “You'll be fine.”

…..

Rick, Morgan, Sasha, Abraham, Liv, Noah, Rosita, Eugene, and now Carl and Holly, were outside methodically dispatching the growing herd of zombies. Michonne kept a look-out from the roof and Lee protected the front door, at the ready and waiting to open it when the group outside fighting needed to come back in.

Glenn, Maggie, Carol, Bob, Judith and Clem were waiting in the large loft of the library, staying close to the maintenance closet in case they had to make an escape for the roof.

As the one and only doctor, Bob was all but forbidden to go outside the walls of the library. He was good at putting ego aside when he saw his new bride strap weapons onto her belt, back and boots before going out to defend him and the others. He knew he was keeping the group safe in a different way – in a way no one else could. 

Glenn and Maggie knew exactly how important Bob was too. Glenn protectively stood behind Maggie who was sitting in a rocking chair breastfeeding their two-week old newborn, Hershel Steven Rhee. Hershel for Maggie's father and Steven for Glenn's father. 

Maggie had delivered their 6 pound 8 ounce, healthy baby boy on her actual due date of March 24th. Although everything had gone smoothly and without complications, Maggie spent 33 hours in labor. Right before she was ready to deliver, the extreme pain of the labor had her convinced that she was dying.

“Glenn, I'm not going to make it. I'm going to die delivering this baby...I know it,” she sobbed breathlessly. “I love you Glenn and I'm so sorry. But promise me... promise you'll do whatever you have to do, to keep our little girl or our little boy safe.”

“Stop talking like that,” he had reassured her as he kissed her forehead. “You're going to be here to take care of our baby too. You're going to read stories and tuck the baby into bed. You're going to teach the baby how to walk and about God and our family. We're both are going to be here for a long, long time, okay? You're doing great...and everything's going to be perfect. I promise Maggie. Just breathe and hold my hand.” 

Maggie closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly, “Okay. Okay. It's gonna be perfect. We're going to be a mommy and a daddy today.”

“That's right babe. You got this and I love you.” Glenn said giving her a sip of water and kissing her again.

Moments later, Bob checked her cervix for the last time and said she was fully effaced, dilated to ten, and ready to start pushing. In less than an hour, Glenn was cutting the umbilical cord and helping Carol clean up his son. Glenn and Maggie cried and smiled proudly as Hershel screamed loudly with his healthy set of lungs.

“You did so good, Maggie,” Glenn said as he brought the baby to his mother. Glenn silently thanked God over and over again that everything had happened the way it was supposed to. He placed Hershel in his wife's arms then laid down in bed with their new baby between them. He held them both close to him as Maggie tried to nurse for the first time. It was the happiest moment of both Glenn and Maggie's lives and their hearts swelled with gratitude. 

Today as Maggie held her son in her arms, she watched everyone else running around the library quickly and calmly. Her and Glenn's priority would be to stay inside and protect Hershel and the other children.

Carol held Judith in her arms and looked over the railing of the large upstairs balcony. “Clementine,” she said still looking straight ahead, “I want you to take Judith for me please. Okay?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Clem said as she secured her knife back into her belt and reached out to hold the little girl.

“Listen to Glenn and Bob and do whatever they tell you to. Why don't you read Judy a book?”  
Clem walked to a corner of the loft with Judy on her hip. She sat down and opened up, “The Berenstain Bears: Get in a Fight”, a book Clem herself still very much enjoyed, and began to read to the toddler.

“I can't see what's going on from here,” Carol said to Glenn, Maggie and Bob, “I'm going up to the roof with Michonne to get a better look.”

Carol made her way into the maintenance closet and up to the roof. 

“How are they doing down there?” Carol asked looking over the edge.

“They've gotten rid of more than half but I see more coming down Blake Street,” Michonne replied half frowning.

“I couldn't see anything from inside the library and I couldn't take it anymore,” Carol said uneasily.

“They're okay. They're staying ahead of it. If it gets to be more than they can handle or they get tired, they'll come inside.” Michonne reached over and gave Carol's hand a squeeze. “He's okay, Carol.”

Carol shuffled and looked down. “I know. I know he is. I wish we could turn the worry off but...”

“It's impossible sometimes,” Michonne said.

“I've come to love Morgan so much and every time I see him walk out those doors, my heart sinks into my stomach. Then when he walks back in, it leaps out of my chest. Our emotional pendulum isn't meant to swing like this. We weren't designed to live like this.”

“But what choice do we have?”

“I've never been in love with anyone the way I am with Morgan. I've never been in a happy and functional and equal relationship like this one in my entire life. But the other side to that coin,” Carol wiped a tear from her eye, “is that when I lose him...it will destroy me.”

“Why are you saying 'when you lose him'?”

“It's always been 'when'. Even before all this, it was 'when' not 'if'. Maybe if we're really lucky, we'll grow old together, but death will always find us. It found Daryl and it found Sophia. When that happened it nearly found me. As much as I love Morgan, it would be easier on my soul to not love him at all.”

“It's not easier. Not for me, anyway. I've lived both ways since all this happened and I choose to love. Before I found all of you, I was alone. Even while I was with Andrea, I felt alone. I was numb. I was just walking through this without feeling anything...no emotion, just surviving. I hated it. I would have rather been dead but that's just not in me to do anything like that. Then I found everyone, Rick, Carl, Judith...everyone...and I found it again. I found joy, even in all of this. I found purpose and strength.”

“Well we're not all like that. The loss I've had has taken it's toll on me. It's not what's made me stronger.”

Michonne looked over the side of the building and did another head count of her loved ones down below. She protectively clutched her 8 months pregnant, protruding belly then looked over at Carol. “I had a son. Before the end, I had a son.”

Carol looked over at her friend with surprise. “You never told us? Why?”

“Rick and Carl are the only ones that I've shared that part of myself with. Actually, I told Bob too. He asked me in a prenatal exam if this was my first pregnancy and of course I told him it wasn't, but no one else knows,” Michonne explained as the two women watched their family do battle down below. “He was such a piece of my heart – so precious to me that I wanted to keep his memory tucked away. I'm the only one here who knew him and so I don't always feel like sharing about him. Like just talking about him would never be a good enough way to share him. I love him too much to throw his name and his memory around as just a topic of conversation. He was too good for that.”

“What was his name?” Carol asked.

“Andre. Andre Anthony,” Michonne practically whispered.

“I'm sorry, Michonne,” Carol said placing her hand on her friend's shoulder, “it's not fair.”

“No, it's not fair. But then it's not fair that I get to live when so many others don't. It's never been about fair. It's about choosing something, and that's what I'm doing. That's what I'll keep doing.”

…..

Carl sliced his machete through the head of a rotting corpse and it fell down in front of him. Holly stood behind him, afraid to walk out of his shadow.

“C'mon Holly, just do like we've taught you,” Carl instructed. “Bring the machete above your head and bring it down through the skull – one fluid motion.”

“I...I can't. I thought I could, but I can't,” she said shaking and terrified.

“Yes, you can. We're in control and you're safe. Now just do it!” Carl commanded. “Right there – that one. She's small and you can take her down. Now do it!”

Holly raised the machete above her head and screamed as she swung it down into the skull of the walker. The machete slid out and the body collapsed to the ground.

“You did it! I knew you could and you did!” Carl exclaimed. 

Holly was not feeling strong or empowered by her victory. She observed the group in front of her skillfully taking down the small herd one by one but she felt paralyzed.

“Now kill that one,” Carl said as he decapitated a walking corpse while barely looking at it. “Do it...now!!”

Fear and adrenaline pulsed through her veins and she charged the walker in front of her, bringing her machete down again into it's head. The machete didn't slide out this time so she brought a powerful kick to the walker's chest and kicked it free from her weapon.

“Holly you're doing perfect and we got your back,” Sasha yelled from a few yards away. “Just take care of the smaller ones and don't turn your back to them.”

Holly approached a third one, and took it down more confidently. Then a fourth and a fifth. Maybe she could do this, she thought. Maybe she didn't have to be so afraid. She wiped the sweat from her brow and walked assuredly towards another one. It was facing away from her and she raised the machete above her head. The dead woman turned around right as Holly was about to bring her weapon down. Holly looked into her eyes and screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Nooooo!!! No, no, no, no, no!” she cried out. She dropped her machete and pushed herself away from the corpse that was now clawing at her. She fell to the ground and the dead woman fell on top of her. It's teeth bared, it leaned into her face and went towards it's crying prey. Holly felt the the monster's teeth against her cheek when Carl came up behind it and ran his machete through it's skull. The blood from the woman's head poured out onto Holly's face. 

Carl pulled the body off of Holly. Holly quickly got up to her knees then threw up. 

“Are you okay?” Carl asked.

Holly stood to her feet and ran. She ran away from Carl, the others and the library crying hysterically.

“Holly, get back here!” Carl shouted as he began to run after her. 

Michonne looked over the ledge at Carl, “No,” she said panicked, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

“What is it?” Carol asked.

Michonne didn't answer. She pushed down the button on the side of the walkie talkie, “Rick, do you copy?” she asked in exasperation. “Rick do you copy? Carl and Holly just ran behind the library. They're headed north up Franklin Avenue!” she waited for a response but none came. “Rick! Do you copy?” she yelled into the walkie. She leaned over the edge and began to shout down below. “Rick!!!” The group was too far away from the building and couldn't hear her. The noise of the moaning walkers drowned out Michonne's voice over the walkie and from the roof above. 

Michonne pushed off the ledge and walked over to the other side of the roof. “Now Carol, you're a good friend so you're going to try and talk me out of this,” Michonne said as she reached for the ladder, “but don't waste your breath because it's not going to work.” Michonne lowered the ladder over the side of the building.

“Don't you do this!” Carol yelled at her friend, “it's crazy!”

“See, I told you you would try to talk me out of it,” Michonne said chuckling, as she swung her legs over the ledge and stepped down the first rungs of the ladder. She had to climb down sideways because her overgrown belly wouldn't allow any other way. 

“I'll go, Michonne! Let me go look for them!” Carol yelled down. “Please don't do this!”

“No you stay and keep watch on the others for me. That needs to be done,” she said continuing to climb down awkwardly. “It's Carl, and I need to do this. I have my sword and the walkie. I'll be okay,” she called up as she finally reached the bottom. With one hand she unsheathed her sword and with the other she held firmly onto her belly. She ran swiftly away from the library and out of Carol's sight.

…..

 

A/N I have to say that I was overjoyed to give Glenn the birth of his baby in this chapter. It breaks my heart (and everyone else's I'm sure) that on the show, his precious baby will never know his amazing father. I know Hershel Jr. having his father in my silly fan fiction isn't the same but it's something. Consider it a small gift (maybe) to all my beloved readers who were saddened by the death of everyone's favorite heart-of-gold redneck, Daryl Dixon. His death was something I planned almost at the beginning of writing this. As much as I tried to talk myself out of it, I just couldn't. The show runners at AMC probably tried to talk themselves out of Glenn's, Abraham's and the deaths of several others too, but death is often a catalyst for strength and stories to emerge from other characters. But I digress...

Love and God bless to all my faithful readers! XOXO


	36. Mother's Day

Mother's Day

On this day, one that began like most others, Michonne sprinted down Franklin Street gripping onto her stomach securely to keep it from bouncing while she ran. The sun was setting and the wind continued to blow as she looked up and down the street. She studied each house for evidence that Carl and Holly might be inside. 

Michonne was an expert at compartmentalizing her thoughts and feelings but in this moment, her head was spinning. As she was searching for one child with another child growing within her, her mind turned towards thoughts of Andre.

She was in a different place now, with different people and Michonne herself was not the same person she was two years earlier. But for some reason she couldn't explain, the sickening and uncertain feeling of this day was ominously familiar. It felt just like the worst day of her life – the day she lost Andre.

She could hear Andre. Despite how far away he was, his cries were as recognizable to her as her own voice. Michonne ran faster than she'd ever run before. She could feel the vibration of her sword shaking back and forth in her hand as she sprinted towards her son. She was close enough to the refugee camp that the fallen chain link fence was visible. Despite her fleet footed motion, her legs felt heavy like lead. Her mind felt as if she were running in a nightmare. But she wasn't. You can't smell smoke and rotting flesh in a nightmare.

The dead were in front of her. She swung her sword as swiftly as she ran taking three walkers down at once. More came at her. Eight of them though they were all one blur. Filled with fiery adrenaline she took them down in seconds moving her body arms and sword together with power and ease. She dispatched more walkers without slowing down her sprint towards Andre. She quickly stepped over the collapsed fence and frantically followed Andre's screams. He wasn't where their tent was pitched. Mike and Terri were nowhere to be seen either.

Why did she leave? How could she have left her boy? Did she really think anyone, even his own father, would protect him with the mother-bear instincts she had? Up until this point in the apocalypse, she felt powerful. She felt in control. While the world crumbled around her, she had risen up. While everyone else around her was terrified, including her family, she was calm, level-headed, brave and unafraid. It was as if she was built for this world. It surprised even her how well she had adapted. 

But when Michonne looked at the dead woman eating her baby, she nearly fainted. It felt like everything, the trees, the sky, the immediate and agonizing grief she felt, was crushing her. It took everything in her power to run her sword through the skull of the woman cannibalizing her son. She pulled her limp and dead body away from Andre. It was Mrs. Gutierrez, a mother of two young children herself. Michonne had been chatting with her just this morning about how hard it was becoming to keep the kiddos entertained at the camp. 

Michonne collapsed to the ground hovering over her boy. “Oh my sweet baby! No! No! What am I supposed to do? God tell me what to do!” she wailed. Tears poured out of her eyes quicker than she could wipe them away. 

“Momma, she bite me...it hurts!” Andre cried back in his precious, small voice, barely conscious. Michonne picked him up and cradled him in her arms, unable to control the relentless sobs that had erupted. More than anything, she wanted to hold on to what she knew would be the last few moments she would have with her baby boy, but she couldn't. He was suffering. He had a large bite in his chest and his arm was torn apart. He was rapidly slipping away and blood gushed from his wounds. Michonne couldn't bare his pain any longer. 

Michonne calmed herself momentarily and looked into Andre's fluttering eyes. “I'm gonna take you to the doctor and you're gonna be all better, okay baby?” She caressed his bloody face and kissed his tiny lips, “Just close your eyes and go to sleep and when you wake up, you'll be all better. I love you, Andre. I love you so much, my sweet baby!” she cried.

Michonne pulled her knife from her belt and without hesitation, stabbed the sharp blade into the side of his head. 

But that was two years ago. She shook the agonizing and useless thoughts from her brain. She threw her doubts aside and kept running. Today she would find Carl and Holly. She would protect herself and her precious baby growing inside. They would get back home.

…..

“Holly, are you in here?” Carl called upstairs. He lost her before they reached the end of Franklin Street but he was almost positive she was in this house. It was her old house. He held his machete steadily in his hand as he ascended the stairs. “Holly!” he called out again. When he reached the top of the staircase, he opened the door to the first bedroom. She was there. She was sitting on her twin bed as far into the corner as she could bring her body. Her thin legs were drawn up to her chest and she was shaking uncontrollably. 

Carl dropped his machete on the floor and ran to her side. He sat on her bed and wrapped his arms around her. Holly flinched at his touch. “Are you okay?”

Holly couldn't speak. She heaved as she sobbed and quivered. Carl held her tightly, soothing her until she was finally quieted. “You're safe Holly. You're safe and I'm here. I'm sorry I forced you to go out. I shouldn't have.” Holly stared ahead still silent. “Holly, tell me that you're okay.”

“It was my mom,” she began to cry again. “I was doing okay - I was doing good and then my mom was in front of me...dead.”

“Oh Holly...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” Carl said holding her even tighter. 

“I...I haven't seen her since the beginning and...” she said again barely able to speak through the heaving sobs, “...and then she was there! She was there right in front of me. And then on top of me, trying to kill me! And I got so scared...that I ran. I ran and I ran and I didn't even know where at first and then I just wound up here.”

“I'm sure that was hard Holly but you...” but Carl couldn't continue. He wouldn't offer her meaningless platitudes right now. He just kept his arms around her and kissed her forehead. 

Holly relaxed in Carl's embrace. Her sobs had become sniffles. “Carl, I'm not made for this world. Sooner or later, I'm going to die. You were right. I'm dangerous because I'm useless.”

“That's bullshit!” Carl huffed. “You're alive right now while lots of other people aren't. You've survived this. And I saw you. You took down a bunch of them...and that was just your first time even trying!”

“But then I freaked out and ran and now both of us are in danger.”

“No. We'll get back. We'll be okay. We're okay right now.” Holly clung to Carl as he glanced around her room. An oversized dollhouse stood to the left of her window. A poster with puppies wearing sunglasses hung on her wall, while stuffed animals were lined up on a bookshelf. He looked down at her blanket. It was covered with flowers and butterflies. Whether the world allowed it or not, Holly was still a child. She hadn't adapted the way Carl had and he wouldn't hold that against her.

“I shouldn't have made you go out the way I did. I should have been more patient. I was a bully and that didn't teach you anything.”

“I know why you did it. You want me to be strong. You know that I have to be strong or I'll die. You were right,” she said, “it just didn't make it any easier when I was out there.” Holly began to quietly cry again, “She's really gone now. I thought in the back of my head that maybe my mom would come back to me alive. I know that's stupid but I hoped for it anyway.”

“What happened to her? I mean why did you think she would come back?”

“Maybe two months after it all started, my dad was going into downtown Waycross for some supplies. He said he's be back in a few hours. After a day, he still wasn't back. My mom said she had to go look for him. She said we needed him. I begged her not to go,” Holly sobbed, “but she did. She left to go look for him and she never came back. Neither one of them ever came back. My sister and brother died in the very beginning. I knew my dad was dead too. But for some reason I thought my mom might have made it...that she just hadn't made it back to me yet.”

Once again, Carl had no words. He knew how he felt after losing his mother. He knew the devastation. He couldn't comfort her with words and instead just kept his loving and protective grasp around her.

Holly gazed at the sky through her old bedroom window as the last sliver of the sun went below the horizon. When she turned her head back, Carl caught her face in his hands and kissed her slowly, intensely. Holly reached her hands around his neck pulling him even nearer. Holly never felt closer or more understood by another person. She never felt more loved. She didn't want the moment to end. She wanted to stay in her bedroom in her house and pretend that the darkness outside didn't exist. 

“You're okay now and I'm with you Holly,” Carl finally said pulling away. “We have to get back. If we don't hurry, the others will come and look for us and I don't want anyone else to be in danger.” The two of them stood up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom.

“Carl,” Holly said. 

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for running after me. I was so scared that I didn't even know what I was doing and I'm grateful you came for me.”

Carl grabbed her hand, “I'll always come for you.”

…..

“Rick! It's Michonne. Do you copy?” Michonne called into the walkie quietly. There was no answer. The late afternoon sky grew darker while Michonne approached another house. She ran to the door, opened it and called inside loudly, “Carl! Holly!” She called again, and when there was no response, she closed the door and ran to the next house. She didn't have to worry about walkers inside the homes, as all of these houses had been cleared long ago. But in the front yard of the next house, four walkers began to come towards her.

Without hesitation, Michonne whipped her sword through the heads of the two nearest her. Another came from her left. She ran her sword through it's temple. The last walker, a rather large man, crept towards her from behind and grabbed onto her, digging his fingers into the shoulder of her jacket. Michonne spun around. The walker was too close to her for her to use her sword. She dropped it and used both hands to push the dead body away from her. Michonne managed to move the walker's hands off her shoulders but they immediately went down to her protruding belly. Michonne roared as she tried to push it off once again while she kicked it's kneecap repeatedly. The walker's leg finally buckled and it collapsed to the ground. Michonne tried to pull away, but her pregnant body lost it's balance and fell to the ground with the walker's body falling on her, pinning down her feet. Michonne felt a sudden pain in her ankle. The walker crawled on top of her clawing at her legs. She reached for her sword behind her but her hands couldn't find it. Michonne screamed as the walker's mouth moved to her leg. 

Michonne saw everything in slow motion. The dark, ominous emotions washed over her again. This was the end and she knew it. In all this time she seldom feared for her own life, only for the lives of her loved ones. Even now, her concern wasn't for herself but the baby inside. She begged God to not let the monster get to her baby. Let it only consume her. She looked towards the walker's face, mouth agape and ready to feed. In the blink of an eye, she saw a machete slicing through its head. Michonne's head fell back to the ground as she panted in relief and exhaustion.

“Michonne are you okay? Are you bit?” Carl asked hysterically as he knelt down next to her. 

Michonne looked up at Carl breathlessly, “I think I'm okay...I sprained or twisted my ankle but I don't think I got bit.”

“We have to get out of here,” Carl said helping her back to her feet.

As Michonne stood up, she studied her surroundings. Dozens of the dead were approaching on more than one side.

“We can outrun them!” she said with certainty. “There's an opening through there,” she indicated where they should go with the tip of her sword.

“Let's go then!” Carl yelled. The three began to run back in the direction of the library. Michonne put her left hand on Holly's shoulder. Pregnant and limping, she still ran faster than most people. They were making headway and now out of sight from most of the walkers. They would have had a clear shot but more walkers appeared in front of them.

“It's only a few,” Michonne said as she limped towards four of them. She moved her sword through their undead bodies bringing them down quickly. She was about to run forward again when Holly's screams spun her around. Two more walkers tackled Carl. Carl kicked one off while Michonne stabbed one in the skull. Holly smashed her baseball bat into the head of the walker Carl kicked off. Carl hopped to his feet and the three took off again.

As they were running, Michonne felt it. She knew exactly what was happening. She stopped in her tracks and grabbed her stomach with her left hand, still holding tightly to her sword in her right hand. “Oh God! Please no, not right now!” She closed her eyes tightly and let out a loud moan.

“What is it?” Carl asked holding her up. “Is it the baby?”

“Yeah,” she winced. “It's a contraction. I just need a second.”

“What should we do, Carl?” Holly asked fearfully.

“Stay calm, I think she'll be okay,” Carl said but his mind also drifted to another day eerily similar to this one. He distinctively remembered running through the dark and sinister corridors of the prison with his mother and Maggie. His mom going into labor while monsters chased them. It was a cruel coincidence that this was happening to Carl again.

A rare panic came over the ultra cool-headed young man. This wasn't going to end well. They might have to leave Michonne. No, he could never do that. What if he had to cut her open the way Maggie had with his mom? He would do it if he absolutely had to. Could he put her down if she wasn't going to make it? He would do whatever Michonne said. He trusted her.

But it wouldn't come to that. Michonne was strong. Very strong. Carl felt stings of betrayal on his heart as he admitted to himself just how much stronger Michonne was compared to his mother. It was just the truth, plain and simple. His mom, who he loved dearly, couldn't make it in this ugly world, Michonne could...she would. Carl felt his confidence coming back. “You ready to go again?” Carl asked Michonne.

“I'm ready,” she said short of breath but with fortitude. As they began to walk swiftly towards home again, they heard Rick's voice, “Michonne! Where are you? Do you copy?” Rick shouted through the walkie.

“Rick..I'm here! We're on Valleyview Lane, two blocks south of 11th Avenue. I have Carl and Holly!”

“I'll be there in thirty seconds with the pick-up. Is everyone okay?”

“We're okay – just hurry! There's lots of walkers around!”

“Just hold on Baby!”

Before the three of them could take even ten more steps, Sasha swerved around the corner in the pick-up truck, tires screeching then halting to a stop in front of them. Rick jumped out of the front passenger seat and ran towards Michonne. Morgan, Abraham, Rosita and Lee hopped out of the bed of the truck and dispatched several walkers close to them and the commotion. 

Rick saw Michonne limping and holding her stomach, “What happened...are you okay?” Michonne froze as another contraction swept over her entire body. 

“She's in labor. She sprained her ankle too,” Carl informed his father.

Rick held her face in his hands while she breathed heavily through the contraction. “I'm here. It's okay – breathe,” he said kissing her forehead.

“Rick! We gotta go!” Abraham yelled from the street as he walked towards him, “there's more headed this way. Rick lifted Michonne into his arms and carried her towards the truck. He quickly and gently lifted her inside the front seat and climbed in beside her holding her close. Rosita did a quick head count making sure everyone was with them and the truck sped off to the safety of the library.


	37. The Matriarch

The Matriarch

“We have Terbutaline,” Bob said to Rick. “It's pretty effective at stopping contractions.”

“So it'll stop her labor,” Rick stated as he carried Michonne up the last flight of stairs leading to their bedroom in the attic.

“Well there's no guarantee but that's the idea,” Bob replied as he followed behind them. “She still has six weeks to go before she's full term. The baby's lungs are underdeveloped at this point.”

Rick carried her to their bed and gently laid her down. “Well than we should give her the medicine, right?” Rick looked at Bob desperately.

“Well I'm no obstetrician so I'm not sure. Terbutaline comes with risks of its own. It can cause seizures, irregular heartbeat and even cause heart attacks. Lots of people are allergic to it. She could be allergic to it and we wouldn't know until after we already gave it to her,” Bob said. “Mind you, these are all worst-case scenarios.”

“Okay, so if we don't give it to her and we let her labor continue, would the baby survive being born this early?” Rick asked anxiously.

“I'm not sure how to answer that. We have oxygen and steroids that we could give the baby if she delivered now but this isn't a NICU and I'm not a neonatologist either. I think the baby would have a good chance but I can't say for sure.”

“I want the medicine,” Michonne stated adamantly. “I don't want to deliver this early.”

Rick moved closer to Michonne's bedside. He knelt down next to her and held her hand. “But Michonne, it could hurt you...it could even kill you.”

“I heard everything he said. He said those are worst-case scenarios.” Michonne looked at Rick with calm certitude. “I'm strong. I'm healthy. I'd rather take the risk than the baby. And Bob, I promise I won't file any malpractice suits if it doesn't work out.” 

Rick said nothing but just stared into her eyes with uncertainty. Her hand was still in his and he brought it to his lips and kissed it. “It's your call and I trust you.”

Michonne tightened her grip on Rick's hand and quivered in pain, “I'm having another one.”

“Bob, give it to her!” Rick yelled as Michonne cried through another contraction.

Bob ran down the stairs and returned three minutes later with the vile of medicine, a syringe and alcohol. He tossed the alcohol and some cotton balls to Rick, “Clean her arm off. Clean it off really good - right below her elbow but on the inside of her arm.” Rick did as instructed, cleaning off blood from the walkers she took down earlier. Bob filled the syringe with the medicine and squeezed a small amount of air out. He stuck the needle into her arm and plunged the medicine in. 

“Now this is probably going to give you the shakes and make you a little dizzy and maybe nauseous. That's normal. I brought Benadryl and epinephrin too, just in case you have a bad reaction.”

Rick and Bob watched Michonne intently. Her eyes were closed and her body trembled slightly. Moments later, Michonne opened her eyes.“I'm okay. I feel fine,” she said letting out several deep breaths.

“Good. Good,” Bob said with relief. “If you were going to have a bad reaction, it probably would have happened right away.”

Bob pulled his stethoscope out and listened to Michonne's heart and lungs. “Your breathing and heart sound good. Even if these meds buy you another week of pregnancy, that's one more week your little one's lungs can grow. And thank God your water didn't break. If your water had broken, the baby would be here within 24 hours no matter what meds we had in our arsenal.”

Rick stood up and patted Bob heartily on the back. “Thank you,” Rick said, as the tension in his body finally subsided.

“Thank Glenn and Abe. They cleaned out the hospital pharmacy months ago and brought all these meds back,” Bob answered.

“I'll make sure to thank them next time I see them, but I'm thanking you right now,” Rick said looking Bob in the eyes. “If you weren't here with us, I don't know exactly how we'd get through things like this. Maybe we wouldn't.”

“Everyone here is doing something that needs to be done. We're all pulling our weight,” Bob replied modestly, “My mom always used to say, 'Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God.'”

“Sounds like a smart lady. Raised a smart son.”

“She was,” Bob said quietly. “I want to stay with Michonne the rest of the night and keep an eye on her. I'm gonna go downstairs while you get her cleaned up and changed into some clean clothes. When I come back, I'm gonna look at her ankle.”

“Sounds good,” Rick said.

Rick walked over to his dresser and poured water into a basin. He grabbed several clean rags and walked back over to Michonne. Her eyes were closed again. Rick stroked her face lightly. “Hey Baby, how about we clean you up?”

Michonne opened her eyes and looked up at him, “What?”

“I want to get you out of these bloody clothes and clean you up, okay? Are you up for that?”

“Yeah, I think I can do that,” she said sitting up slowly.

Rick lifted her shirt over her head and threw it across the room. Blood had soaked through to her bra too. He reached back and unhooked the clasps on her bra. He slipped it off her shoulders and tossed it aside.

Michonne gazed into Rick's blue eyes admiringly, “You always take such good care of me.”

Rick looked back at her and smiled, “We seem to have a pattern of taking turns nursing each other back to health,” Rick said. “I guess it'll be my turn next.”

“That's not funny,” Michonne cringed as she laughed.

Rick dipped the rag into the basin and wrung the water out. “Lie back down.” Michonne obeyed. Ricked cleaned the blood off of her face and neck carefully. He cleaned more blood off of her arms and hands then threw the bloody rag near her soiled clothes. He got another clean rag and steeped it into the water. He gently cleaned the blood off of her breasts then moved down to her belly. He meticulously removed every spot of blood from her upper body. When he was finished, he rested his head on her stomach. 

“I can hear her in there,” Rick said grinning.

“Her? How do you know it's a girl?”

“Just a feeling.”

“You've never told me you thought we were having a little girl before.”

“I never had the feeling before.” Rick raised his head up and kissed Michonne's womb. “Now you stay inside there for a few more weeks. You're not done cooking,” Rick spoke directly to the baby.

Michonne laughed. “You think that will work?”

“Well not if this kid listens to me like Judith does.”

Rick knelt down at the foot of the bed and pulled Michonne's boots and socks off delicately, mindful of her injured ankle. He pulled his knife out of his belt. “These pants have seen better days. I'm going to cut them off so I don't hurt your ankle.” He carefully sliced through the fabric until her legs were completely free from the blood-soaked pants. Rick thoroughly washed the blood off of her legs. He washed his own hands then went to her dresser and pulled out clean clothes. 

Rick pulled a clean shirt over her head. He slipped shorts over her legs then sat down next to her. “It seems like the medicine's working.” 

“Thank God,” Michonne replied. She stared up at Rick, easily reading a troubled expression resting on his face. “Rick, what's wrong?”

“Why did you go out there?” he asked her directly.

“I wasn't going to. I tried to get you on the walkie and then I tried to shout down to you from the roof. You couldn't hear me.”

“I'm sorry. I should have been...”

“No. Don't apologize. You didn't make a mistake. It's just what happened.”

“But why did you go out there? Why didn't you ask Carol or Glenn to go?”

“You're kidding, right?”

“You shouldn't have gone out there, Michonne. You're eight months pregnant.”

“Do you think I forgot that?” she asked sharply. “It was Carl. I had to go. Carol tried to stop me. She said she would go but I wouldn't let her. Carl is my responsibility.”

“We're all each other's responsibility!”

“Well I'm more responsible for Carl than Carol or Glenn or anyone else is. I want it that way.” Michonne took Rick's hand in her's. “Rick, you said that marrying you meant being a mother again and I said yes to that. I love Carl. I love him like he's my own...same way I love Judith. Those are my kids. I had to do whatever it took to get Carl back home. I was just following my instincts.”

Rick looked away from her. He grabbed his head in deep thought. “You're right. You're right. I'm not trying to make you second guess yourself.”

“Good, because I'm not second guessing myself.”

“Could you just go easy on me for a second? All I knew was that Glenn came running outside and tells me that you and Carl are gone. There were walkers everywhere and you and Carl were out there. I got scared. I thought I might lose you...lose the baby...lose Carl. I was mad as hell at you for leaving. I know why you made that decision but I got scared anyway. I don't want to lose you, Michonne. I can't.”

“You didn't lose me. We didn't lose Carl. And the baby...she's okay too.” Michonne raised her hand up to Rick and caressed his face. “This is life now. We do our best and trust God for everything else. It's all we can do. Or at least it's all I can do.”

“I love you, Michonne. I love you but no matter what you say, I'm never going to be okay with you being in danger. I'm trying to have more faith and to not worry but I'm not built the same way you are. Not many people are. Be patient with me and let me do whatever I need to do to protect you.”

“Okay,” she finally submitted. A comfortable silence lingered in the room as they looked at each other. Rick leaned down, his face hovering over her's. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her mouth. “Kiss me,” she told him. “Kiss me and I'll do whatever you want.”

Rick playfully brushed his lips softly across her lips then retreated slightly. He looked deeply into her eyes and she returned his gaze. He put his hand around her neck and pulled her closer, kissing her once more. “There, I kissed you. Now you said you'd do whatever I want, right?”

“Anything.”

“Stay inside,” Rick said as he smiled and kissed her again.

…..

 

The next morning Michonne was awoken from her sleep by a knock at the top of the staircase.

“Hey, it's me and Judy,” Carl said. “We wanted to check on you. You decent?”

“Yeah, come in,” she said groggily as she sat up. The two of them walked into the bedroom and as soon as Judith saw Michonne she ran towards her. “Momma!” Judith squealed.

“How's my big girl?” Michonne exclaimed with a wide grin on her face. Michonne reached down to help Judy climb into the bed next to her. She smothered the giggling toddler with kisses. Filled with excitement, Judy bounced on the bed and on Michonne. “Now Judy you have to be careful of Momma's tummy and foot, okay?”

“How come?” Judy inquired.

“I got a boo boo on my tummy and foot. So you have to be gentle, okay?” Michonne explained as she held onto her stomach.

“Baby,” Judy said proudly as she patted Michonne's belly.

“That's right,” Michonne said. “There's a baby in there! It's Judy's sister or brother inside Momma!”

“Sorry for waking you up, but she's been begging to see you all morning,” Carl said.

“What time is it?” Michonne asked as she yawned.

“Almost one o'clock.”

“One o'clock?? I haven't slept in this late since...I can't even remember how long.”

“Well Bob said that the meds you're on might make you pretty tired. He came to check on you this morning and Carol and Liv have been taking turns sitting with you to make sure you're okay.”

“That's nice of everyone. I didn't know one single person has been here all morning. I was out cold,” she said. “So where's dad?”

“He's on the roof I think.”

“Did the herd pass out of town?”

“Kind of. Some moved out but then the rest sort of just started spreading out through town. Dad said for everyone to just fall back and let them do whatever they were gonna do. If they haven't moved on by tomorrow, Abraham and some of the others are going to try and lead them out of town with the truck.” Carl sat down at the bottom of the bed. “You don't have to worry about anything going on outside. The building is locked up tight and everything's under control.”

Michonne chuckled, “You sound just like your dad.”

“Great,” Carl said sarcastically. “Hey Michonne, I'm sorry for running off yesterday. I feel like you being out there is all my fault.”

“I'm a big girl Carl. I made the decision to go out there all on my own and nothing is your fault. I ran after you without a second thought the same way you ran after Holly without a second thought. It's what we do for the people we love.” Michonne smiled over at Carl, “Look, I'm okay, the baby's okay, you and Holly are okay and I don't want to dissect and examine every little detail of what we should have done or who's fault it is for this or that. It's all over and we're all okay. Just stay here and keep me company.”

“Okay,” Carl replied smiling back.

Judy was starting to get antsy sitting still on the bed. “Will you hand me that basket of toys and books over there by the crib?” Michonne asked. Carl picked up the basket and placed it on the bed. Judy dumped it out in it's entirety before deciding to play with her doll. “Nice Judy,” Michonne said as she and Carl laughed.

“Michonne, there's something else I wanted to talk about.”

“Sure. What is it?” Carl hesitated. He picked up Judy's play phone off the bed and started fidgeting with it. “Hey, spit it out! You can talk to me about anything.”

“Well I wanted to ask you something. But now that I'm thinking about it, it seems super awkward.”

“Did your dad never have the birds and bees talk with you?” Michonne teased. “Well, you're a little old to not know where babies come from but it's better late than never.”

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny!” Carl blushed and laughed.

“Seriously, just tell me already!”

“Well...you're going to have this new baby and you already have Judy.”

“Yeah?” Michonne asked, not quite sure where he was going with this conversation.

“Well, the new baby is going to call you mom and Judy already calls you mom...” Carl paused again and continued to fidget with the toy again.

“Come here kid,” Michonne motioned for Carl to move closer to her and he complied. Michonne wrapped her arms around him and held him tighter than she ever had before. Tears fell from her eyes. “I never wanted to assume that place in your life because I never wanted to take it from your mom. But...”

“My mom will always be my mom. I'll always love her. She was there in the beginning but you're here now. I love you, Michonne, and I can't help that I want you to be a mom to me, just like you are to Judy.”

“Nothing would make me prouder,” Michonne said as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I'll let you in on a little secret: I already thought of you as my son so this just makes it official.” Michonne finally released Carl from her embrace and she wiped her eyes and smiled.

“I'm gonna go back downstairs and get you some breakfast...or I guess lunch.” Carl chuckled.

“That would be nice,” Michonne said.

“I can take Judy back down with me.”

“No leave her. I've missed her,” Michonne said tickling her feet.

“Okay then. I'll be back in a few,” Carl said walking away.

“Michonne lied down again as she watched Judy play with her toys on the bed. She held her belly and felt the baby kicking wildly. Michonne closed her eyes. A peaceful smile appeared on her face and she thanked God for the beautiful family she'd been given.


	38. Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

 

When Rick awoke each morning, he had no way of knowing which direction that particular day would go. No one knew. Before the end of the world, you might have a good idea of what was ahead, but now, all you could do was make a plan, then hope for the best. So that's what they did. It was all they could do.

For a long time it seemed there were very few walkers in town but over the past month, more and more were streaming into Waycross – migrating in enormous crowds. Sometimes there were breaks in the herds but at other times they would swarm the streets endlessly for days at a time. 

It did no good to try to do anything when it came to combating the herds. They were no match against the army of walkers and the survivors abandoned any strategies of trying to take them out. They couldn't even step outside. Their only option was to disengage, stay quiet and stay inside. 

The library stood strong and proved to be an effective fortress against the mobs but the endless parade of walkers kept everyone trapped inside. Only the rooftop allowed them the luxury of being outdoors. Their food provisions would hold them over for at least another month but they still rationed to be safe.

Water was another story. They had to go out to the back of the library's small loading dock to refill their buckets from the cisterns. The cisterns were behind iron fences but still in an area where the walkers could see and hear them when they exited to retrieve water. 

On top of the danger of getting water, there was the ominous fact that they were beginning to run low on the crucial necessity. There were less than 15 gallons of water left. They would be forced to somehow figure out a way to leave the building to bring back water.

A macabre uneasiness washed over the library and its inhabitants. It was frightening and disturbing knowing that walls were the only thing separating you from certain death, but even more terrifying was the thought of being imprisoned in your own home and slowly dying from dehydration. 

Despite the circumstances and the anxiety they all felt, Rick was determined to remain hopeful and reassure everyone that they would figure something out. When vague promises weren't enough, he sat down with the group to strategize. After a long discussion, they outlined a definitive plan for getting water. 

The plan was simple enough: Carol, Eugene and Rosita would throw Molotov cocktails from the roof to an area far away from the pick-up truck. Once the herd was distracted away from the truck, Morgan, Abraham, Lee and Noah would get behind the wheel with six 50 gallon drums and drive to the mile and a half to the farmhouse where they got the water. Fortunately for them, the drums were already in the bed of the truck.

“We can only fill them a little more than halfway full,” Lee said. “If they're full they'll weigh around 400 pounds each. If we're surrounded by walkers, we won't be able to carry them if they weigh that much.”

“Good call. We also don't want to weigh the truck down,” Abraham added. 

“So once you're close, tell us on the walkies and we'll throw more cocktails down from the roof. We'll try to get them away from the gate at the loading dock where you'll park the truck,” Rick said.

“Yeah but once the walkers see the truck and everyone in it, they'll come right back,” Glenn replied.

Rick rubbed his beard, thinking.“Well, if that happens, just leave the water and get back in here quickly. At least the water will be close by. We'll figure out another way to get it inside later.”

“Well let's get this show on the road! Daylight's wastin'!” Abraham said standing up.

“One more thing,” Rick said, “I want y'all to take guns.”

“There's less than a hundred rounds left,” Lee said.

“Yeah I know that. But this is the kind of day we've been saving them for. I know you'll only use them if you get into a tight spot,” Rick replied.

Abraham nodded, “It'll be better to have them and not need them than to need them and not have them.”

Within an hour, everyone was in place. The Molotov cocktails were thrown from the roof. Dozens of the dead moved away from the truck and towards the fire. Morgan, Abraham, Lee and Noah ran to the truck and jumped inside. Rick watched through the small window in the door as they drove away.

Carol's voice came through the walkie to Rick seconds later, “They made it away from the herd. They're headed down Maplewood towards the farm.”

“Good,” Rick sighed. Half the battle was over.

…..

Michonne was lying in bed, napping with Judith when she was suddenly awoken by the sharp pain. She sat straight up and held on to her stomach. Her entire abdomen became rock hard. Her labor was beginning.

Other than Judy, Michonne was by herself. She would have to walk down the attic steps to call for Rick. She waited for the first contraction to stop then stepped out of bed. As she stood, she felt wetness on her legs. Her water had broken in her sleep. She walked down the flight of stairs and opened the door at the bottom.

“Rick!” she yelled. “I need you!”

Rick charged up the stairs to her side. “What's wrong? Are you okay?”

“It's time.”

“Right now? Are you sure?”

“I'm sure. The contractions woke me up and they're strong. My water broke too.”

“Okay, let me get you back upstairs into bed.” Rick helped her up the stairs and had her lie back down.

“I'm gonna go get Bob and the others. Will you be alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I'll be fine.”

Judith rolled over, wide awake. “I'll take her down to Liv,” Rick said pulling Judith out from underneath the covers. As they began to walk away Michonne cried loudly. Rick spun around with Judith in his arms. “Michonne, are you okay?”

Michonne screamed out in pain.

“Mama!” Judith wailed, terrified of seeing her mother cry.

Michonne took large heaving breaths. “I'm okay pumpkin. Don't cry. The baby is coming today Judy!” Michonne smiled through the pain.

“Baby,” Judith said, calming down.

“Yeah sweetie, the baby is coming,” Rick said kissing her cheek. 

“Mama! Want you!” Judith cried again as she looked over at Michonne.

“Rick, bring her to me,” Michonne asked.

Rick returned to Michonne's bedside and the toddler held her arms out towards her. “Mama, want you!” 

Michonne reached for Judith and held her chubby cheeks in her hands. Michonne kissed her several times. “Daddy's gonna take you to Liv or Auntie Sasha and Mama has to stay here. Be a big girl and I'll see you in a little bit. I love you Pumpkin!” 

Rick walked towards the staircase as Judith began wailing again. “Daddy, want Mama! Stay wif Mama!”

Five minutes later, Rick was back upstairs with Bob, Carol and Carl.

“Alright,” Bob said in an excited but steady tone, “looks like today's the day.” He laid his instruments and supplies out on the dresser. “How you feeling? How far apart are your contractions?”

“I've only had three but they're about 4 minutes apart,” Michonne answered. “Where's Morgan?”

Morgan had been shadowing Bob when it came to all things medical. Over the last few weeks, whenever Bob came to check on Michonne, Morgan was by his side, studious as ever. He perfected taking her blood pressure and doing all the rest of her vitals.

“He's out on a water run,” Rick said wiping the sweat from Michonne's forehead and neck.

“They went out?” Michonne exclaimed. “How? I thought there were walkers everywhere!””

“We didn't have a choice. We hardly have any water,” Rick said trying to calm her down. 

“Well who else went? Did they make it out okay?”

“Morgan went with Abraham, Noah and Lee. They made it out fine but that's all I know. Michonne, listen, you can't worry about that. You have one job right now: to bring our baby into the world. And that's what you're gonna do.”

Michonne nodded her head, “Okay.” Another contraction hit her hard. She clenched Rick's hand and breathed heavily through the pain. As soon as the contraction ended, Bob came up to her.

“I need to check your cervix, okay?” Michonne nodded. Carol pulled her pants and underwear off and draped a sheet over her knees.

Michonne looked over at Carl and smiled. “Don't look kid. If you see something, I guarantee you'll be more embarrassed than me.” 

“Do you want me to leave?” Carl asked.

“Of course not. Unless you changed your mind and don't want to stay.”

“I want to be here for you,” he said walking closer to the head of the bed. “I'll stay on this side of the bed though,” he chuckled.

“Good,” Michonne said giving his hand a squeeze.

More time passed. More contractions came. The four waited and watched as Michonne and the baby inside her did the job of starting a new life.

Bob checked Michonne again. “Well you're dilated to nine already and almost a hundred percent effaced. It shouldn't be too long.” Bob took her blood pressure. “Pressure's good too. I'm glad the meds we had worked to stop your labor. It bought you four more weeks and the baby is that much stronger.”

Rick smiled at all the good news. He still held fast to her hand as he kissed her softly on the lips. “I think it actually just hit me...we're gonna have a baby in our arms today.”

Michonne smiled back at him, “I'm ready. I'm happy.” Another contraction took over her entire body. Michonne roared out in pain.

“Breathe baby! Squeeze my hand and breathe!” Rick said doing his best to encourage her. She held onto him tightly. She inhaled deeply through her nose and blew out hard through her mouth. “You're doing perfect.” The contraction finally subsided and Michonne relaxed again. 

“Good. Try and rest between the contractions. We'll be there soon,” Bob said.

Carol prepared water and towels on a changing table. Rick gave Michonne a few sips of water. Two minutes after the last one, another contraction hit.

“They're getting closer,” Bob said. “After this contraction, I'll check you again.”

“It hurts, Rick,” Michonne said as she was hyperventilating. “It...hurts.”

“I know...I wish I could take the pain away,” Rick said wiping her forehead again with a cloth. “But you're doing so good. Just breathe.” The contraction ended and Michonne closed her eyes.

Bob reached under the sheet and checked her cervix again, “I thought you would be ready to push and I was right. You're dilated to ten and a hundred percent effaced. We're ready to deliver!”

…..

Eugene held the walkie to his face as he looked through binoculars. “This is Eugene Porter requesting an ETA from Sergeant Abraham Ford. Do you copy?”

“We just finished filling the sixth drum and we're closing it up now. We should be back in five to seven minutes barring any bumps in the road. Where's Rick? Thought he was in command.”

“Rick Grimes is presently at his wife's bedside as she delivers Rick or Michonne Junior.”

“Good gracious...there's lot's of excitement today! You have those Molotov cocktails ready to throw before we get back?”

“Yes sir, we do. There are five on standby. Rosita Espinoza will throw them at your request.”

Glenn and Sasha waited patiently by the loading dock ready to assist while Eugene and Rosita kept watch from the roof. 

“I see them,” Eugene said in the walkie to Glenn and Sasha.

Moments later, Abraham's voice came through, “We'll be there in less than a minute. Throw them!”

Rosita lit the first Molotov cocktail and threw it as far away as she could but where the walkers near the loading dock could see it. A small explosion erupted on the ground. Several of the dead took notice and followed the flames. She threw another. More walkers followed. She threw another then another. Almost all the walkers were drawn to the area of the explosions and left the loading dock. Rosita went to throw the last cocktail when the sweat in her hand caused the Molotov to slip out of her grasp. It fell to the ground and made a loud crash on the concrete just below. 

“Damn it!” Rosita yelled at herself under her breath. “I can't believe I did that.” The walkers that had been drawn away started to return towards the noise the breaking glass just made.

Rosita snatched the walkie from Eugene. “I screwed up. You guys are going to have walkers on your ass as soon as you park. Just get inside and leave the water!”

The truck sped along as it backed up towards the loading dock gate. Lee slammed on the brakes, cut the engine, and hopped out. Abraham came from the passenger side. They both climbed into the bed of the truck where Morgan and Noah had been riding. Abraham, Lee and Noah climbed over the gate as the mob of walkers approached. The walkers reached for them as they hopped over. Abraham and Lee fell to the other side. Lee pulled Noah by the shoulders. He was nearly over when his right leg was snatched out beneath him. He fell to the ground and the dead advanced.

“Help me!” Noah screamed. 

Morgan, almost over the gate himself, jumped back down into the back of the truck. He slammed his bow staff into the heads of three walkers nearing Noah. More were right behind and Morgan smacked his staff against them again too, knocking them off their feet.

Lee and Abraham fired their guns into the skulls of the approaching herd making their way towards Noah.

“Noah, give me your hand and get up!” Morgan commanded.

Noah extended his hand up as Morgan leaned over the bed of the truck to grab it. As Noah's arm reached up, a walker grabbed it and sunk it's rotting teeth into it. Noah screamed out in pain as two more walkers fell on top of him. They ripped into his flesh and blood poured and splattered everywhere.

Morgan never carried a gun but that day he had. He pulled it from his pocket and fired it into the young boy's skull. Noah's agonizing screams stopped suddenly and Morgan jumped over the fence to safety.

…..

“I heard gunshots,” Michonne spoke as she panted in exhaustion. 

“Michonne, it's time to push. Try not to worry about what's going on down there,” Bob said sternly. 

“I'm not worried!” she barked. “I just want to know what's happening!” 

“I'll go down and find out what's going on,” Carl reassured her. Carl looked at his father and Rick nodded.

“Thank you, Carl,” Michonne replied. She could hear Carl's footsteps as he bounded down the stairs. 

“Alright Michonne, I want you to try and sit up as much as you can,” Bob instructed her. We're all about to get really comfortable with each other. Rick, I want you to hold her right leg back and Carol, you hold her left leg back. As each contraction comes, you're gonna push as hard as you can. When the contraction stops, stop pushing and rest. Got it?”

“Got it!” Michonne answered. When the next contraction came, Michonne pushed with all her strength. 

“Good. That's perfect,” Bob said. A minute and a half later, another contraction came and Michonne bared down, pushing again.

As it ended, they all heard footsteps from the staircase and Carl and Morgan came around to where everyone was gathered around the bed. 

“Now that you're here, you can take her pressure,” Bob spoke to Morgan. Morgan threw his jacket onto the floor and went to wash his hands with a wet towel and rubbing alcohol. He approached Michonne with the blood pressure cuff and began to do the job he had been practicing. 

“Her pressure is a little low. 97 over 70,” he told Bob.

“What does that mean?” Rick asked.

“It just means that this baby needs to hurry and get out here. It's alright though. Hypotension, or low blood pressure, isn't that uncommon during delivery.”

“Another one is coming,” Michonne gasped as she spoke.

“Okay,” Bob said, “I want you to push as hard as you possibly can. One...two...three, push!”

Michonne bared down, squeezed her eyes shut and pushed.

“I see the head, baby!” Rick said with exhilaration. In a moment of calm, Rick looked over at Morgan, “We heard the gunshots – what happened out there?”

Morgan turned away from the group, looking away. “Noah,” he finally said, “Noah...he's gone.”  
Devastation filled the room. Looks of despair were exchanged between everyone in the room.

“Hey,” Bob spoke up, “we need to get back to the matter at hand. We can't afford to grieve right now. Michonne and the baby need us at a hundred percent.”

For the next thirty minutes, Michonne alternated between pushing for two minutes and resting for one minute. Rick stared down into her face. Sheer exhaustion had taken it's toll on her body and she was barely awake between contractions.

Morgan took her blood pressure again per Bob's request. “It's dropped again. It's 87 over 67.”

“Okay. The baby hasn't budged in thirty minutes. I think she has some really broad shoulders and is stuck. And if Michonne's pressure is low, chances are the baby is in some distress. We need to deliver now. I really don't want to have to do a c-section but if her pressure drops anymore, I may have to.”

“No! You can't do a C-section!” Rick yelled back at Bob in a panic. “You can't! That's how Judith lost her mother and I'm not going to lose Michonne like that!”

Bob stood silent looking down at the floor. “Okay. There's one other thing I can try but I only saw it done once on a maternity rotation a dozen years ago.”

“That's not very reassuring,” Carol spoke up.

“What? What do you want to do?” Rick asked as sweat dripped from his temples.

“We push on her abdomen. We push really hard. We have to be careful though because if we push too hard, it could rupture the placenta and she could start bleeding badly.”

Carol looked at Rick and Rick looked at Michonne, as he caressed her face. “Michonne, Baby, what do you want to do?”

Michonne didn't answer. 

“Michonne!” Rick yelled. “Michonne...Baby wake up! Tell me what to do!”

“Rick, she's contracting. You and Morgan hold her legs back,” Bob said. “Carol, come around here and get ready to catch the baby. I'm going to push on her stomach.” Bob strategically placed his hands on the lower part of her abdomen and pushed as hard as he could. “Michonne, can you hear me? I need you to push with me. Push!” Bob yelled. Michonne lied their, still and unresponsive. “Michonne I need you to wake up and push!” Bob yelled at her. “C'mon girl, push!”

Michonne didn't make a move. Rick shook her arms. “Michonne!” Rick cried out. “Oh God! Please...please, don't take her from me! I'm beggin' you! If you're there, listen to me! Don't take her from me! I'm beggin' you, please, God! Please!!”

“The head's out!” Carol yelled.

“I'm going to just keep pushing. Be ready to catch her!” Bob said.

Rick still cried, as he held onto his wife. He stared at her closed eyes, willing them to open. He continued to pray silently, desperate for an answer. Rick was in a haze and wasn't brought out until he heard the cries of a newborn. His baby.

“It's a girl!” Carol laughed and shouted at the same time. The baby wailed loudly. “She's got good color and a good scream!”

“What about Michonne?” Rick asked Bob, searching the doctor's face for an answer.

Bob checked her blood pressure again. “It's 101 over 77. It's comin' back up. She's just exhausted and her pressure being so low made her pass out. Try and wake her up while I look at the baby and cut the cord. Then we need to deliver the placenta. Hard part's probably over.”

“Michonne, you there?” Rick pleaded with her as he gently shook her shoulders. “Morgan, hand me that glass of water.” Rick put water to her lips and poured a small amount into her mouth. He poured the water onto her chest and neck and shook her shoulders again. Michonne's eyes finally fluttered open as she took in deep breaths.

“Oh God, thank you! You're okay baby! Are you here with me?” Rick cried.

“I'm here,” she whispered, still drowsy. “What happened? Is the baby okay?”

“I thought I was going to lose you...” Rick buried his face into her side, overcome by his emotions.

“The baby's fine. She's perfect,” Bob confirmed. “She's a great size and that's why she was having so much trouble makin' her way out.”

Rick pulled himself together. “Give her to me.” Carol and Bob had finished cleaning her and wrapping her up. Carol carefully placed the newborn into Rick's arms. Rick carried his daughter to Michonne and held her close to her mother. He laid the baby and himself down on the bed.

Michonne looked at their daughter with tears in her eyes. “We did it. She's beautiful and we did it.”

“You did it.” Rick kissed his baby girl, kissed his wife, then closed his eyes and breathed. “Thank you God.” 

…..

A/N: This might sound weird but I feel such a close connection with you readers. Weird or not, I do. Because of that, I want to share a part of my life with you...an incredible part of my life.

You may have noticed that the last three chapters of my fic have had names pertaining to motherhood: Chapter 36 was called “Mother's Day, chapter 37 was called “The Matriarch” and this chapter is called “Momma Said There'd Be Days Like This”. 

I named these chapters that because in my opinion, motherhood is one of the highest callings possible. It has been for me, anyway. Being a mother to my three children is the most important thing in the world to me, second only to my faith in the Lord Jesus. The reason for this is because of my mother.

My precious momma was born blind way back in 1938. Despite her blindness, she wanted nothing more than to be a mother. So she got married and had nine, yes nine kids! In our neighborhood and in our circles, she became the crazy blind lady who had way too many kids. I was the youngest out of those nine kids. 

When I was two years old, my dad left her. He left my blind mother to raise their nine children on her own, in a run-down house in a bad neighborhood. I swear I'm not making this up.

Well guess what! My mom did it. She wasn't perfect but she raised us the very best she could. She dragged our butts to church every Sunday and always made sure we had food on the table. She did such a good job loving us. She let me know every day that she loved me. She NEVER ONCE complained. She never let on that she was worried about where our food would come from or how she would get us to a doctor's appointments or anything. She had a radiant faith in God and that was all she needed.

She's 79 and she still goes to three nursing homes to play the piano for the seniors there. She still plays the piano at church every Sunday. She still loves me like crazy. She has read her entire Bible (in Braille) around a dozen times and she still puts her faith in God at the forefront of everything she does.

As I've written Michonne, my mom has been in the back of my mind. In a very peculiar but very real way, Michonne reminds me of my momma. Yes the fierce, black, dread-locked, ninja, Michonne reminds me of my 78 year old, blind, Hispanic, piano-playing mother. Why? Because of the love, strength and faith they both have.

I know I've written Michonne a little differently than she is in the show but it's truly the only way I could have done it. I'm glad you let some of the OOC traits I wrote her with, slide and stuck with my version. 

There's only one chapter left after this latest one and I am having some sadness about leaving this story. Because of that, I've had some serious writer's block when it came to these last two chapters. But I love this story way too much and had to push my way through it.

I want to thank you all for going along with me on this. Thank you for reading and telling me what you think – both good and bad. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for reading my long rant about how amazing my mom is. Thanks for listening to my “preaching” at you here and there. I probably need a therapist or at least a good journal in my life but you all have filled the slot very well. Thank you. Love to all and God bless always!!!


	39. Life Could Be A Dream

Life Could Be A Dream

“It smells good in here,” Morgan exclaimed walking into the kitchen. 

“It's just deer,” Carol replied. 

“It's never just deer. I've seen what you do in this kitchen and you have about a hundred different ways to make deer meat taste good.”

“Well it's deer curry, rice and salad - that's it.”

“Deer curry? You're incredible.”

“You're just buttering me up so I'll make dessert tonight,” Carol said. “Well it's not necessary because I already have a cake in the oven.”

Morgan walked up behind Carol and moved his hands around her waist, he kissed her on the back of her neck while she chopped vegetables for the salad. 

Carol stopped chopping and set her knife on the counter. She spun around in Morgan's arms and fed him a cucumber slice. She tilted her head and gave him a smile. She kissed him as he crunched the fresh cucumber. “Did you have a good day?” she asked merrily.  
“Yeah. Nothing special but we found some good stuff.” Morgan kissed her again then grabbed three more cucumber slices. He leaned against the counter while Carol returned to chopping vegetables.

“Oh yeah? What'd you find?” she asked.

“Batteries, 2 guns, beer, pretzels, a couple of football jerseys. And something else I thought you might like.”

“What?” she said looking at him again in anticipation. “More cooking oil? We're almost out and I've been hoping you'd find some.”

“Come here,” he said grabbing her by the hand and pulling her out of the kitchen. The two of them walked into their room and Morgan flipped on the light switch. Two big tubs were stacked in the corner. Morgan opened the lid on the top tub.

Carol looked inside to find rolls and rolls of yarn of all different colors. On top of the yarn were several knitting and crocheting needles. “Morgan, how did you know I would like this? I never told you I liked to knit.”

“I overheard you telling Glenn, that if he ever found yarn and needles on a run, it would make you happy as a clam.”

“And you remembered? That was months ago.”

“Well I took a mental note. I've been looking for it when I've gone out helping on runs and today was our lucky day.”

“This is so thoughtful, Morgan. Thank you,” she said smiling up at him.

“You're welcome darlin'” he said returning her smile. “I was so happy when I found it. I thought to myself how nice it'll be, sitting next to the fire on that big sofa...me reading a book, with you cozied up to me, knitting blankets for all these babies.” Morgan moved closer and placed his hand on her hip. “I could spend every night doin' that.”

Carol put the lid back on the tub and turned around towards Morgan. She fell into him. The warmth of his body made her feel joy, and a completeness that she was getting more and more used to. And although these feelings were getting familiar, she never took them for granted. 

While Morgan held Carol in his arms, Carol thought about Ed. In the thirteen long and agonizing years she was married to Ed Peltier, he never once brought her gifts unexpectedly. Every year on her birthday, he took her out to his favorite restaurant for dinner. Every Christmas he got her one gift – usually a vacuum, or a blender or some other household appliance that made her a more efficient spouse, better able to meet his needs. In those thirteen years he never once brought her flowers or chocolates let alone something special that would be meaningful to her.

Every time Morgan called her darlin', she couldn't help it – her heart skipped a beat. Her mother used to hate being called darling, or sweetheart, or doll. She felt condescended and disrespected and even Carol's own father wasn't allowed to use those pet names with his wife. And of course there was Ed again. She would have loved being called any of those names by him, in the beginning anyway, when she still thought she loved him. But no, Ed preferred to call her idiot, stupid bitch, and whore.

Carol held fast to Morgan, not wanting the simple but wonderful moment to end. Morgan could hear small sniffles from where Carol's face was pressed against his chest.

“Are you cryin'?” Morgan asked, “What's wrong?” He pulled her chin up and looked at her bewildered.

Carol shook her head. “Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Everything is right.”

“It's just yarn.” 

“It's not just yarn. It's everything,” she continued to cry. “I've never had this.”

“Had what?”

“Love. I've never had love like this. I'm still getting used to it. I've never had someone tell me how good my cooking is or bring me gifts or call me darling or hold me the way that you do.”

“I told you I loved you Carol. This is what love is to me. Every day, I work to keep this place safe and running the way it should and do my part with that. But other than that, all I want to do is spend as much time I got left in the day, loving you. You're my whole world now and I want to make you happy. If you ain't never had that before, then that's all the more reason I want to give it to you now, the way you deserve.”

Carol said nothing more. She just held onto Morgan, cleaving to him desperately as he held her. Morgan kissed the top of her head and kept her wrapped in his arms, in no hurry to break the embrace. 

Carol finally pulled away, wiped the tears from her eyes and straightened her sweater. “I have to go. I don't want dinner to burn.”

“Well I'll come with you, keep you company while you finish.” 

“You could frost the cake,” Carol said sweetly.

Morgan took her hand in his, “I can do that.”

…..

 

“Carl, come and get Winnie!” Sasha shouted from the kitchen. “She's jumping on the counters while we're trying to clean up from dinner.”

Carl walked into the kitchen and grabbed the dog by her collar, “You know better than that, Winnie. Come on girl.”

“Thanks. Oh, here's her ball,” Sasha said, tossing the dirty tennis ball to Carl, “maybe that's what she was looking for.”

Carl threw the ball across the library. Winnie tried to take off but was so excited that she ran in place slipping on the hardwood floors before finally gaining control of her legs and sprinting in the direction of the ball. 

Holly laughed hysterically. “What's so funny?” Carl asked.

“She looks like one of those dogs running in a cartoon. You know, where their legs just spin in place.”

Carl looked over to Holly, smiling. “Yeah she does look pretty dumb when she does that.” His smile dissolved as quickly as it appeared. He stared across the room at nothing in particular.

“What's wrong?” Holly inquired.

“Nothing.”

“You can say you don't want to talk about it but don't say there's nothing wrong.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Okay.”

Winnie brought the wet tennis ball back to Carl and he chucked it to the other side of the library. “Sorry. I wasn't trying to be mean,” Carl said sliding down a bookcase onto the floor. “I just miss Noah. He used to love playing fetch with Winnie. And Winnie really loved him too. I really don't want to talk about it but since you asked, that's what's wrong.”

“Thanks for telling me,” she said as she ran her fingers through his hair. “You know you can talk to me though, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I don't need to talk about it. I just need to be sad about it for a while,” Carl said throwing the ball again.

“It's Saturday, you know,” Holly said trying to change the subject. “It's movie night.” 

“Cool,” Carl said, feigning excitement. “Do you know what we're watching?”

“Liv said on the next movie night we should watch 'The Goonies',” Holly answered.

“Oh yeah, she did,” Carl said with disappointment.

“What, you don't like that movie?”

“I know Liv likes that movie but I personally think it's overrated.”

“Overrated? You're kidding, right?”

“Well it's good but Liv acts like it's the best movie ever. The chubby kid is pretty funny I guess, but to me it's just okay.”

“Are you talking about 'The Goonies'?” Glenn asked from where he was crouched on the ground in a corner of the library. He was working on a motorcycle he had found earlier in the week.

“Yeah,” Holly replied. “Carl here thinks it's overrated.”

“You're kidding, right?” Glenn asked.

“That's exactly what I said,” Holly said under her breath.

Glenn completely abandoned the task at hand and walked over to the debating teens. “That was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. It was one of the only movies my sisters and I could always agree on.”

“Well I mean it's not a bad movie,” Carl defended himself.

Maggie walked over to the others with little Hershel cradled in her arms. “Are you guys trying to decide what movie to watch tonight?”

“Yep,” Carl said. “I wanted to watch 'The Dark Knight' on the next movie night but I'm not sure if anyone else does.”

“Hmm. 'The Dark Knight'. That's a solid choice,” Maggie said in all seriousness. “What are the other choices?”

“Well Clem wants to watch 'Jumanji' but Liv, Glenn and I want to watch 'The Goonies',” Holly explained.

“Wow, those are actually all solid choices,” Maggie said as she bounced her body, trying to calm a fussy Hershel down. “I'm gonna have to say 'The Goonies' though.”

“That's my girl,” Glenn said walking up to Maggie and planting a big kiss on her lips.”

“I got your back, babe,” she said soberly.

“You know, all my friends used to make fun of me and call me Data in high school,” Glenn admitted.

“Well did you wear that dopey baseball cap in high school?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah,” Glenn replied despondently.

“Well that probably didn't help.”

Eugene sidled up to the others, drawn into the conversation. “I know that nobody here solicited my opinion but I also have to concur that 'The Goonies' is a superlative film with action, adventure, comedy and dare I say, a touch of romance.”

“I agree. Goonies is a top-notch movie,”Abraham said from out of nowhere. “Used to watch it with my kids all the time. It was one of their favorites.”

The contented and light conversation quickly dissipated. No one said a word. Talking about movies could only take them away from their reality for a few minutes. 

“What?” Abraham finally said. “Y'all didn't know I had youngsters?”

“I didn't know,” Glenn said. 

“Neither did I,” Eugene said, obviously hurt by the omission. “Why did you never relay that information to me?”

“I don't know,” Abraham looked at Eugene, then at everyone else. “I guess I just never did because maybe I didn't want anyone feelin' sorry for me or lookin' at me the way y'all are lookin' at me now.”

“Sorry,” Maggie said walking up to him and squeezing his hand. “People don't always know the right way to react.”

“I'm not sure there is a right way. There's not really a precedence for living in the shit storm we've been livin' in,” Abraham said.

After a few more seconds of uncomfortable silence, Carl finally spoke up. “What were their names?”

“Becca and A.J.,” he anxiously replied. A look of warm nostalgia appeared on his face. “Becca the Brave and The Amazing A.J. They were incredible. Got good grades, did their chores and liked to watch football with their daddy. They were damn near perfect. My boy liked tellin' jokes and pullin' pranks on his mom and me. And my little girl - she was the prettiest thing you ever saw but also the biggest tomboy. Couldn't get her to wear a dress or even fix her hair before school.”

“And they liked 'The Goonies',” Glenn said.

“Yep. They liked 'The Goonies'. They liked the part where the dead guy falls on the kid lookin' for ice cream,” he chuckled. “Can't believe I remember that.”

Carl stood up and dusted off the seat of his pants. “Well Goonies it is then.”

“I'll set up the projector,” Eugene said.

“I'm gonna go make some popcorn for the movie,” Carl said to Holly, helping her to her feet.

“Sounds good. You want some help?”

“Sure.”

“You know what sounds so good right now?” Holly asked as her blue eyes lit up. “Some Whoppers. Oh or maybe some Reeses Pieces.”

“I like M&Ms personally.”

“Oh my gosh! I would die for some candy right now!”

“Hey,” Carl said giving her a silly grin, “Goonies never say die.”

…..

Months earlier, when Michonne read the name Eva in one of the library's many baby name books, it caught her eye immediately. She thought it was graceful yet with an aura of strength. When she read that Eva meant “life”, she was set on it. After all, life was what drove their every decision in this dead world. Life was what they fought to preserve, protect and cherish.

Josephine was Michonne's grandmother's name. Her dad's mother, who lived with them for most of Michonne's childhood, was a faithful woman that Michonne had great admiration for. When she suggested to Rick the name, Eva Josephine, he agreed. “That's a beautiful name,” Rick said. “Did you know Josephine was my grandma's name?”

“You're kidding,” Michonne said. “That was my grandmother's name too. That's why I picked it.”

“Must be destiny,” he smiled. “So Eva Josephine Grimes – if the baby is a girl and David Martin for a boy. Perfect!”

Tonight, Eva lied down in Rick and Michonne's bed, suckling at her mother's breast. Her bright, blue eyes grew heavy. The three week old newborn was colicky the four previous nights but tonight she went to sleep quickly. The constant crying had exhausted her and she couldn't fight sleeping any longer. Eva continued to nurse in her sleep while Judy snuggled up to her little sister from the other side. As she continued to nurse, Michonne's eyes grew heavy as well.

“Mama, no sleeping. Sing, okay?” Judith said waking her up.

“Shhh, Judy. Don't wake up Eva.”

“Pease sing mama,” the toddler pleaded.

“Alright, but you have to be so quiet and close your eyes, okay Pumpkin?”

“Kay,” Judith closed her eyes as tight as she could in such an exaggerated fashion that it brought a grin to Michonne's face.

Rick walked up the stairs to their bedroom quietly. It was late and he knew Michonne was putting the babies to sleep. He was about to round the corner to the expanse of their room when he heard her singing to their little girls. Rick stopped and stood at the top of the stairs listening to her melodic voice gently lulling the toddler and newborn to sleep:

Sleep my child and peace attend thee,  
All through the night  
Guardian angels God will send thee,  
All through the night  
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,  
Hill and dale in slumber sleeping  
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,  
All through the night 

Rick finally walked into their room. He looked over and saw Eva in a deep sleep and Judy getting sleepier with each note of music. He undressed, taking off everything but his boxers. He tossed his clothes over the side of Judith's crib and pulled a clean t-shirt over his head.

Angels watching ever round thee  
All through the night  
In thy slumber close surround thee  
All through the night  
They will of all fears disarm thee,  
No forebodings should alarm thee,  
They will let no peril harm thee  
All through the night. 

“Is she sleeping with us tonight?” Rick asked wide-eyed and smiling wryly. ”You said once the baby came you'd make Judy sleep in her crib again.”

“Well she started out in her crib and then the little monkey climbed out. I was nursing so I...”

“You caved,” Rick chuckled. 

“Yeah, I caved. She begged me, and what can I say? She's got me wrapped around her finger.”

“Kinda the way you have me wrapped around yours?” Rick said drolly.

“Exactly.”

Rick picked Judith up and out of the bed. “No Daddy,” she said half asleep. 

“Shhh, shhh,” Rick said as he kissed Judy and swayed her from side to side.

Rick looked down at Judith as he lulled her back to sleep in his arms. Michonne could read all over his face that he was in deep reflection. “Penny for your thoughts,” she said.

Rick moved back and forth in silence before finally looking up at Michonne. “It seems like whenever I have doubts about what's happening, whenever I'm confused about what to do or upset, scared, I get some little hint that everything is going to be fine.”

“Why do you feel that way?” she asked. “Not that I doubt your feelings, I just want to know what's changed.”

“Seeing the way you are with the girls, hearing you sing them to sleep, the way you love them...it gives me peace. I breathe easier when I see the way you take care of them – always with a smile on your face...”

“...not always,” she corrected him.

“When I see you having those two and three hour conversations with Carl a couple times a week, it brings a smile to my face. I don't know what you're talking about...I have no idea, but I know whatever it is, whatever you're imparting on him, I know it's good, it's valuable. It's full of wisdom and...and love.”

“We have great talks...about life and faith and dreams. I have to admit though, the other half of that time, we're talking about food and comic books.”

Rick chuckled louder than he meant to then went on again, in all seriousness, “I feel like everything is right in the world when I think about you. I know it's not. Probably never will be, but you make me forget. I come back up here to you at the end of the day and I feel like I'm walking into a different world...a sanctuary. Bein' here, with you, I feel good no matter what's happening out there. I feel it with the others too, from time to time, but it's not the same.”

“Why is it different with me?”

“When I'm with you, I don't have to try to convince myself that things are good or that I'm happy. I just am.” 

“So you're convinced then?”

“Of what?”

“That we can be happy.”

“Yeah, I'm convinced. I came around. I'm happy. There's always been loss and death and pain before. Now it's more in our face, but despite all that, or maybe because of it, we're still here. We're the ones who live. I know what I have and I don't take a second of it for granted.”

Rick continued to sway Judith in his arms as he walked towards her crib. He lied her down and brought her blanket up to her chest. When she stirred, he patted her chest gently. Rick came back around to his side of the bed. He climbed into bed and pulled the sheet lightly over himself. 

Michonne finally pulled Eva's tiny mouth away from her breast. As she slept, the baby continued to suck on nothing while Michonne pulled her tank top back down. 

Rick reached over the baby and brushed a lock of hair behind Michonne's ear. He caressed her cheek before moving his hand down her arm and finally letting it rest halfway on her hip and behind.

“You know I wasn't always convinced either,” Michonne said, covering his hand with her own, as it rested on her side. “The day we got married...that's when I knew for sure we were okay. Our family came back to us that day. Judith came back to us. You promised me you'd love me forever in front of God and everyone else. That's when I knew we could be happy. Not just breathe, but be happy.”

“It seems too good to be true sometimes. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop but...”

“But you don't have to,” Michonne interrupted..

“We're good right now, and that's enough.”

“Do you want to know what else I think it means...you know, that we're happy?”

“What does it mean?”

“It means that if things are good right now, we can start thinking more and more about the future. It's more than right now.” 

Rick smiled at her with admiration.“Right when I catch up to you, you run ahead again.” 

“It's just the pace I run at.” Michonne looked over at Rick thoughtfully, “I used to have so many nightmares. Nightmares about the dead about Andre and Mike. Andrea, Hershel. About the night those men attacked us.”

“Oh I remember the nightmares. I'd be keeping watch and I'd see you fighting them off in your sleep. I hated it.”

“They were gone for a while but then they came back again. I had horrible nightmares about Daryl and about the night you lost your hand. In the dream though, I'm too late. You get bitten and you turn. I had them almost every night - they would torment me.” Michonne let out a sigh of relief - relief that she was no longer carrying that load. “They're gone now. I can't remember the last time I had a nightmare. I know they'll come back at some point, but for now, they're gone. You're here and I'm sleeping peacefully. Right now, all I have are dreams about the future.”

“What does it look like?”

“Growing old with you. The kids playing outside, by themselves because the dead are gone. Swimming in the ocean. More people. More babies.”

“More babies for us?” Rick laughed. “Keep dreaming!”

Michonne giggled quietly, “I'm definitely not talking about more babies for us! But I think about Carl and Holly. Liv, even Judith and this little one.” Michonne yawned as she caressed the dark strands of hair on Eva's head.

“Someday,” Rick replied as he gazed at Michonne, her eyes growing heavy. 

“Yeah, someday,” she said drowsily, finally succumbing to sleep.

Rick turned off the flame from the oil lamp on his night table and brought Michonne's hand to his lips for a kiss. “Sweet dreams, baby.” 

THE END

…..

“All Through the Night” written by Edward Jones   
Also in chapter 26, I was so wrapped up in the drama that I forgot to officially give credit to the incredible poet, Bob Marley who wrote and sang “Three Little Birds”. Better late than never.

…..

 

A/N: Well, I hope you all enjoyed this! Writing this awakened a passion in me that I didn't completely know was there. It has brought me so much joy to write this and it has brought me even more joy to know a few of you read it. 

I can't stop writing now. The words are pumping through my veins and I'm happy to say there is a sequel to this. The name of the sequel is “Ten Thousand Days”. I'll start publishing that here in another week. Hopefully it will help us with the Walking Dead withdrawals we're likely having. 

Finally, being bold has never been something I've struggled with so I think I'll put my boldness to good use right now. I've never hidden the fact that this fic has been closely related to my faith. I've been a youth pastor for over 5 years and a nursing home chaplain for 16 years. I have been doing church ministry (usually haphazardly and far from perfectly) for more than half my life. Back in chapter 36 I mentioned a crappy job that I have. These ministry jobs are NOT the crappy jobs I was referring to, I just wanted to make that clear on the off chance someone mistakenly connected those obscure dots.

Anyhow...the point I'm really trying to make is that if anyone wants to know more about the Bible or God or Jesus or more about my faith, message me and I'll do my best to try and answer any questions about these things. Nothing is off limits. Seriously, I mean it. 

I know I've said it before but I have to say it one last time: thank you! Thank you for supporting me through this wonderful experience! You, my dear readers, are amazing! Love to you all and God bless!!!


End file.
